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rat in the kitchen

I go to my ex-boyfriends house. In the dream he lives with his dad and a younger boy who is about 12 or younger. (In waking life he lives with his brother and sister). The house is a small, cramped flat in a high rise apartment (like his second brother's place actually- in fact, in waking life my ex's house is huge). He invites me to stay, and put my things in the corridor but then leaves in hurry. There a beautiful small garden there- a haven full of trees and plants and a water feature. Im left with the boy. The boy asks me to move in -but says in an apologetic way that its dirty in the flat. I say we can fix that! I smile and go to the kitchen and yank down a dusty old curtain and theres a dish of really old weird junk in the space that an oven might have been. We inspect it together. Its waxy moulds - the outline of 5 or 6 rat's bodies in broken vessel with shards of glass. Its as if someone had dead rats and covered them in wax- then the rats have rotted to nothing over the years. Its really yuk and I chuck it out immediately and the boy is thrilled. I say 'we can clean this up and put a lovely candle in there to refract light around all the shattered glass- it will be beautiful'. We do that. I find a new silky red curtain and put it up over the windows. Eva Longoria steps out of the closet in the bedroom while the boy looks on- open mouthed. Then boy throws open the window to let air in to the dusty musty place. I zoom out the window and hover from the outside looking in. I see the billowing new curtains which stand out against the rest of the fairly depressing high rise apartment windows. The end. (My ex is having family troubles right now relating to working through issues about his very nasty father. I visited him recently.)

Oh also I woke up with the song- 'theres a rat in me kitchen' by UB40 playing in my head too.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34 australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yep

Re: rat in the kitchen

Maria,
The opening statement 'I go to my ex-boyfriends house' probably sets the tone of what this dream is trying to address. The house would represent your relationship with your ex {houses almost always represent some aspect of the dreamer's life}. The fact that he lives with his dad and a younger boy may be looking at an older aspect of the relationship and the newer aspect {old man vs young boy}. Also your ex's dad is prominent in the family dispute}. Also the difference in size of the flat, small in the dream vs large in reality. The significance of these two opposing sizes may be important to the dream.

Are there changes in your ex's life that are more attractive than those he possessed before the relationship ended? The garden may suggest there is something better about him, in your opinion. This newer version {younger boy} may seem more attractive, or more responsible than the older ex that you knew when you were in the relationship.

Also, are there possibilities, or invitations that the relationship could be renewed? Or perhaps you have given passing thought to that, even with the 'dirty' situation that your ex is having to face with his family and father. Perhaps you believe you can fix the relationship since there have been these changes in his life. But there is still a lot of junk from the past relationship with him.

The rats may involve those past problems in that relationship. As much as you would like to clean away those differences that caused the breakup of the relationship, the past is covered in wax, preserved and hard to remove. 'Chucking it out' may provide new hope for your ex {boy}.
I say 'we can clean this up and put a lovely candle in there to refract light around all the shattered glass- it will be beautiful'.
This sounds like there are thoughts of possible reconciliation. What was once broken and shattered.
But you may be covering up deeper emotions with rosy prospects {a new silky red curtain and put it up over the windows}.
Something that has been in the closet {your unconscious} has stepped out to show itself once again. Does Eva Longoria represent something or someone that in the past caused problems with the relationship? {a beautiful woman, the other woman?

Once the window is open you are able to see in {looking at your unconscious emotions and seeing your true feelings}. You see the new possibilities {with your ex} but there are other emotions to consider about the past relationship and how it would fit in the present {depressing high rise apartment windows}.

You state that your ex is going some difficult times with his family, especially his father. Was his family a part of the problem in your relationship with your ex? Does the fact that there are now problems within his family shine a new light on the possibilities of renewing the relationship? And can you look beyond the other problems in the relationship? If there isn't that thought of renewing the relationship {it could be in the back of your mind but not a serious consideration} does the fact there are problems with his family provide comfort for you in some way?

Looking at the lyrics of the song by UB40, do they reflect your feelings in some way about the relationship?

There`s a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna do?
There`s a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna go?
I`m gonna fix that rat thats what i`m gonna do,
I`m gonna fix that rat.

When you open your mouth you don`t talk, you shout
And you give every body the blame,
But when they catch you up,
They will shut you up
And you got no one to blame

(chorus)

There`s a rat in me kitchen ........

When you out on the street,
You practice lies and deceipt
And you scandalize my name
But when I catch you up
I`m gonna pull you up
I`m gonna check-out inside your brain


Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 56 Murfreesboro, Tn.

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Re: rat in the kitchen

Gerard, you are a legend. Thanks! Yes, he seems more responsible, and yes I thought of the possibility of renewing the relationship but there are lots of issues- the main one being his family situation which isnt good. Perhaps there is another woman too? I didnt ask when I saw him. I'll find out. But also, at the time when we originally got together he told me that his old girlfriend had accused him many times of having an affair with me, though actually we were just friends. In the end, she had an affair which devastated him and they broke up. I ended our relationship after six months because I didnt like living apart from him interstate- it was doing my head in. Perhaps this is related to the words 'depressing apartment'.As for the song- I think he has 'ratted on' or blamed his father for some past issues stuff in a public way - revealed it to his family, and its causing everyone grief. Thanks again.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34 australia

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How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yep

Re: rat in the kitchen

Maria,
I appreciate the kind words. And I truly appreciate your taking the time to reply with a follow-up post. When I gave my interpretation I felt there were some clear associations in the dream and with your reply I can see that was a correct assumption. Not to take the real credit for seeing that, I am using Jung's approach when it comes to dream interpretations. I am merely a conduit to greater thinking.

Most likely the 'the other woman' I mentioned in my interpretation was you, the alleged affair your ex's ex-girlfriend accused him of having. This may have been among your concerns, albeit unconscious, in your thoughts of reconciling with him. A primary function of dreams is to sort through all the possibilities in an effort to determine what is best. This function of the dream gives meaning to 'feeling better after a good night's rest'. Our unconscious minds do not stop analyzing our lives when we sleep. In fact they go into overdrive, focusing on all the possibilities. Studies have shown that in REM sleep the brain's activities increase, more so when we are awake. Dreaming is the mind's equivalent to the body's immune system, working to fend off any imbalance in the dreamer's emotional life. Nature has its way of self healing, if we would only listen to what the body, and mind, has to say.

Also your reply confirms my thinking that a house in a dream either represents the dreamer outright or a relationship or aspect of the dreamer. Your ex's house symbolizes the relationship with him. I mention this because a few weeks back I replied to a column written about dreams in the NY Times and stated my belief that a house is almost always a representation of some aspect of the dreamer. The author of the article replied and disagreed with that assessment. Your posted dream with its opening focus on your ex's house verifies my thinking. That fits with Jung's assessment that the dream is about the dreamer and not someone else {other than the relationship to the dreamer}. I lamented to the author that he needed to study more on Jung's theories before writing articles about dreams. And if he would analyze the posted dreams here at the Forum he would readily see the evidence of that.

All in all I believe the dream is addressing your emotions as they pertain to your ex. Your hovering outside the window looking is depicts exactly what you are doing when you dream. The curtains are a new approach to the possibilities of resuming the relationship but your intuitive mind {via your dreams} may be cautioning you that this may merely be a dressing over of the same old depressing emotions you had when in the relationship. I can relate to problems within a relationship due to the partner's family. It is something that must be given a lot of consideration and I believe your dreams is helping you do just that.

Thanks again for your follow-up post. You have added to our understanding of dreams. Hopefully your time here will be of even greater benefit once you work through this aspect of your waking life. That would be the best thing my interpretation could provide for you.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 56 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

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