I come home from work and look out an upstairs window from the back of my house. I look down and see my patio table and chairs sitting in the mud where my patio used to be. There had also been wooden steps and decking on the back of the house too, but it is all gone. I go to the front of the house and all of the lumber is sitting there. The staircases are still in tact, laying on the ground. The deck flooring is in pieces. The concrete patio is in one slab, sitting in the driveway. Eleven people live with me, mostly children. They were all at home when someone came and moved everything. He left a bill with one of them for $340.00 for the demolition. I never ordered this and am very angry that someone did this to my house without my permission, and that the people who live in my house did not stop him.

I have had dreams with this theme before, where someone has done something to my house without my permission, and I am crazy with anger and disbelief that it could happen.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 55, Murfreesboro, TN

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Peggy,
I'll take a better look at your dream in the morning. But if you will apply the house as a metaphor for you, you are the house, it may provide a clue to the dream message. Recurring dreams often indicate unresolved conflicts and if the house is you then the conflicts could be within you. The different parts of the house are often symbolic of different aspects of your psyche. If you look in the Dream Dictionary for the possible meaning{s} of stairs, ground, patio, deck you may discover their applications to you. Also the anger at what someone did to your house {you}, that probably represents actual emotions at someone, perhaps yourself, or/and some other person.

Gerard

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Peggy,
I get the sense the dream is addressing two aspects in your life. One is the attachment to your home. From personal experience I know the time and effort you have put into your home {I bet you have a nice fence also}. There may be projects you wish to complete and this may be why the steps and patio is featured in your dream.

But I sense there is also a deeper aspect to the dream. As I stated in my first post the house is you. The deck and patio would probably represent unconscious attachments, parts that have broken away and need fixing. This most likely involves your life in general. There is an unconscious if not conscious connection to these broken parts that is important to understand {The staircases are still in tact, laying on the ground} since they may contribute to your own personal evolution. Before there can be tranquility in your life the 'house' needs repair.

The numbers 11 and 340 may have significance {numbers in dreams usually refer to some aspect of the dreamer's life}. The children also. Both may be alluding to childhood experiences {experiences that helped form your life}. But they may also be a part of your current waking life {children need not be human}. There may emotions to how your life has turned out {you never ordered the demolition} and there is still anger over past experiences that has led to the need to '{fix' those broken parts in your life. There may have been opportunities in the past to fix some of these aspects and because of choices made you may be angry at yourself.

Dreams often address two or more aspects of a dreamer's life. The house being you would represent your real house {and all the efforts you have put into it to improve it} and at the same time represent you as a person, with the need to fix those broken parts. This is common during the mid-life years, looking back and seeing the broken parts, what caused them and what needs to be done to fix them. Unfortunately often this mid-life course correction remains unconscious and there is never a conscious attempt to fix them. That is where dreams become important. They help a person realize there are broken parts, and a need to fix whatever can be repaired.

Let me know your thoughts. I would be interested in knowing then significance of the numbers {adding them together, individually or together 1+1=2, 340 added together=7}. They may be benign but could offer insights.

Gerard

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Gerard,
Thank you so much for these insights.

I can see how the house could represent me, and/or the significance of my attachment to it. There are many projects I want to do, but have not been able to in the last year. And I always have some degree of anxiety about the possibility of losing the house.

Since I was looking down from upstairs, maybe that represents my head, my thoughts, looking at the physical aspects of my life. Several have broken away and are in need of repair. It may be even referring to actual injuries, 4 in the last 3 years, that include broken bones and a head injury. I had never had any before that. Accidents have been happening with regularity, and I wonder if that is an indication of the imbalance in my life.

I believe the numbers have significance, too, but I can't connect them to anything yet. I'll have to keep thinking about that.

You said," There may have been opportunities in the past to fix some of these aspects and because of choices made you may be angry at yourself." That really rings a bell. I started re-reading The Celestine Prophesy books this week. I read them 10 yrs ago, and went back and read again everything I had underlined and highlighted at that time. It brought to mind several opportunities I could have pursued, but didn't because I was too scared. It reminded me that choices HAD been there, I just didn't respond because of fear.

Even though I am past mid-life, I still hope that I can fix things. At least some parts of my "course correction" are conscious. But not all. If I could figure out the unconscious ones, I think my life would open up. I STILL feel that,though society's influence constantly tells me otherwise.

All the best to you as your business goes through transition. I wish I could help you out here, but I have no skills in the dream interpretation area!
Thanks so much for your time.

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As soon as I finished writing the previous post, I opened a book that referred again to what you said about missed opportunities and my need to still fix my broken parts:

"We literally stop the advancement of our destiny by using a repetitive childhood pattern of control, rather than allowing synchronicity to move us forward...Once we are aware of how we stop the flow of energy that naturally takes us to our higher purpose, we will begin to know our true selves."

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Peggy,
I want to give a full reply to your last posts but will need to do so in the morning {Saturday}. I have a job to manage in Shelbyville today.

Thanks for your thoughts about the business. Although i always knew it was a possibility, going back into full time business wasn't something I had contemplated so soon. Although it has been a stressful endeavor {especially since I had gotten so used to my part time routine} it also has given me much more time to work with my son {he is 33}. Hopefully by the end of this year he will be able to take over the full time reigns. If you should ever meet him you would pretty much see me in him. He has the positive qualities required to be successful and employs the same standards I do when doing business. Quality first, last and always. He is already doing great in sales but that comes easy when you have a quality product to offer, and take pride in what you do.

By the way. I never properly thanked you for the referral you gave to your neighbors {aren't they a wonderful couple}? Word of mouth goes a long way in being successful in my business. It can either bring you down or put you on top.

Gerard

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Hi Peggy,

I know Gerarld already gave you great responses, just want to share some thoughts.

What struck me about this dream and your other dreams with similar themes is the sense of violation. You wrote, "someone is always doing something to my house (me) without my permission, and I am crazy with anger and disbelief that it could happen."

I feel the demolition and floorboard symbology is talking about serious transitions...but

is there something going on repeatedly in your life that is angering you and feels like a violation of your body or psyche...??? Something driving you crazy with disbelief and anger???? I think the dream is addressing those things.

Let us know if this is accurate.

Best,
May

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Hi May and Gerard,

May, you are accurate. It is funny how when someone else says something obvious that it all makes sense. The anger and disbelief are at myself and my family, mostly my sisters, for treating me like my life is not as valuable as theirs because I do not have children. For years I agreed with them, so they were used to me doing whatever they needed. I acted like my life deserved to be determined by them, so it wasn't all their fault. My finally beginning to say NO was the beginning of the ending of our close friendships. I am very angry at myself for letting people "violate" me, but actually, I was just a chronic people pleaser, afraid to make anyone angry or hurt their feelings, or stand up for myself. I don't know what to do about that now, and that's what I am always looking for in dreams - answers to how to still make my life matter - how to put myself in control. I have a lot of anger towards society about how single people are minimized.

Thank you.

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Peggy,
Often within dreams the anger displayed is at oneself and/or those who had caused the anger. Understanding that anger is the first step in the healing process. Just how to confront it, and the circumstances that produced the anger, most often depends on the individual. Dreams do offer solutions even though they may not be readily evident because of how dreams are structured. That is why I suggest that dreams be but one part of the healing process, one which Jung used in his Individuation Process.

The individuation process is a term created by Carl Gustav Jung to describe the process of becoming aware of oneself, of one’s make-up, and the way to discover one’s true, inner self. Although the structure is basic and simple, the contents require a much deeper understanding

The second common symbol in your dream {besides the anger} is the house. The house is the dreamer and a deck, the patio, the driveway are extensions of the dreamer's life or psyche {just as they are in a real house}. In your dream these parts are broken off. When you look at your life you will find broken off aspects also. There is the need to repair those broken off parts but often the 'cost' of repairs is very high {psychological repairs}. In your personal life you never ordered to be treated the way you were, thus in your dream you find corresponding symbols and metaphors to help you realize your psychological state of being. Just as in the dream there was no one to stop the treatment you experienced. And because of those early experiences your personality is formed in such a way that reflects the anger. Often this 'emotional baggage' is subdued and hidden deep within the unconscious. But they still influence your life, your personality. The goal of Jung's Individuation Process is to first realize these deep emotional experiences and then start a process of healing. Confronting the anger within, and the cause of the anger is most important
{as in those cases of children who were abused by priests, personally confronting their abusers provides the first step to healing within}. From that point on the anger and pain can be realized and put in its place {although it may never disappear}.

Your dream is the unconscious confronting those who have violated your 'house'. Because you do have so much invested in both houses you own {your real house and your inner house} your dreams uses these symbols as metaphors for your psychological mind. Often there has to be a thorough demolition of oneself to discover who 'violated' your house. With your last response we know part of that story. Understanding what needs to be repaired is important, and not putting off those needed repairs.

How to put yourself back in control is what the Individuation Process can lead to. It is a long and difficult process {I began my rebirth in 1992 and it took many years to fully understand}. But there are ways to help navigate this ordeal. Joseph Campbell tells us to find that thing in life your truly enjoy doing most and make that your life's goal. Often it is the creative aspect that best fills the void. For me it became dreams and designing websites. Although the creative aspect didn't solve the psychological problems, it did help me focus on the positive while I dealt with all the negatives. And when you start trusting the positive self the negative aspects have less control over your life. To begin to take back control of your life.

One other thing that often occurs when one discovers the creative self is they also discover a spiritual aspect. And spiritual is beyond any religious idea, it is approaching the true spirit within, that part of you that needs to let go of the anger. In the Unity Church {which I attended several years before leaving churches behind all together} the motto is 'let go and let God'. This is not a religious idea, it is a spiritual endeavor that puts you in accord with nature, your own human nature as well as the natural life {we all evolved within nature, thus nature beckons us to return to that fold}. Letting go of the anger, of yourself and others. That requires a lot and although religion can be a tool in this process, it is the personal nature of the individual that does more to overcome those negatives that have caused the anger. That is spiritual because it addresses the soul of the one unique individual.

We talked briefly about this some time back. I know how important your home is to you and how much enjoyment you get from working with it, the yard, the fence, the patio {did you ever get that done?}. It is not the materials house you are putting so much energy into, the house represents your own personality and self. Perhaps if you approach the repairs needed in your life as you do in your house, one thing at a time, then it will eventually come together. You know what needs to be fixed in your house. And from your last post you seem to have a good idea what needs to be fixed in your psychological house also. One step at a time, fixing what you can afford to fix and keeping your eye on the whole process.
And as you look out through your back kitchen window you can see the progress. The fenced in yard which you have constructed and repaired. There has been progress, even though it sometimes may be hard to realize because there are so many other repairs needed.

Gerard

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Gerard,

Thank you again for your thoroughness. It would have taken me days to write what you wrote in your last post. You really put your whole heart into this.

Regarding healing anger - I understand healing what is past. People talk, forgive, move on. I am still confused about the present, and don't know what to do but withdraw if the other person is not interested in relating in a healthier way. I know you can't change other people. So accepting them means, to me, to put up boundaries and say, "I don't relate this way anymore". (In our family, disrespect and shaming are "normal") The relationship usually ends when I do that. The dream is showing my continuing anger at my broken parts - my sisters were a big part of my life. I miss them. But they were also a great source of guilt and discouragement. We are re-defining our relationships, and I don't know if we will come back to each other or not.

You said, "Often there has to be a thorough demolition of oneself to discover who 'violated' your house." Maybe part of the demolition means leaving relationships, at least the way they were.

"Joseph Campbell tells us to find that thing in life you truly enjoy doing most and make that your life's goal. Often it is the creative aspect that best fills the void." I've done that in the past, more than once, but now is different. I know the concept makes sense, but it is more than I should write about here.

"One step at a time, fixing what you can afford to fix... you can see the progress...even though it sometimes may be hard to realize because there are so many other repairs needed." - And because it is taking so long. But still very good advice.

I still haven't done the patio like I want it to be. It is still in my dreams. Never got the arch built either - that man didn't return my calls and I couldn't find anyone else. Also, I meant to tell you in my last post that my neighbor came up to my house and knocked on my door and asked me who built my fence. So your work speaks for itself. I just throw in the part about your work ethic and how easy you make the whole process for the customer. You will never need an expensive ad in the yellow pages. :)