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fear of being killed

in my waking life i had some hard time, about two months, of going through very strange and mental changes, causedd by recent tests i had at gynecologist, where i had two tests- one was hiv, and the other one routine papsmear, where the first one was negative and the other one showed some changes on my cervix, and i m waiting for some new tests to show whether everything s ok. since i found out the results of that test, i m going through a very hard period, i m scared and think about all sorts of things and options possible. and than i had this dream, that i think is somehow connected to it, probably. me and my boyfriend, together with some people that i dont know, among them two mothers with two kids, are waiting for some like mafia boss in front of a building where his limo is parked, and we are asking to see him, but one of his guards is telling us that he had a plastic surgery and had changed his face, so we cant see him, but we can come with him (the guard) and he will take us somewhere (downstairs) where he can receive us. but i know that that s a trick and that they want to kill us, because this already happened, and i know all the story, from the beggining till end. the next scene is in front of that place, where my boyfriend and i are hesitating to enter, because i keep telling him they are gonna kill us, and that last time he (my boyfriend) wasnt killed because he had a scarf on his neck, that now he doesnt have. so i m so scared, him too, and we canr decide whether to run and escape from them, which is my suggestion, and my boyfriend is saying that they will always be after us, no matter what. and then we hear the shots of a gun, and some people, these two mothers, are smiling and are happy because they got released because they have kids, and then i woke up..i have to say that i was more concerned about my boyfriend being killed then about myself

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27, usa

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

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Re: fear of being killed

Maya,
Your dream seems to be focusing on the relationship with your boyfriend. What relationship is there between your exams and your boyfriend? Is there a feeling on your part that one or both of these exams may influence the relationship between you and him? Perhaps you are worried about that and the dreams is addressing those fears. The plastic surgery may reflect a fear of 'changes' in that relationship. Perhaps there have been past experiences in your life where you feel you 'already know the story fro beginning to end'. That may lead you to believe this story of you and your boyfriend will end up the same way.

Also, is there a fear about having children, perhaps having to do with your exams? Perhaps the happy mothers in your dream are an indication that the new tests you are waiting on will be positive {the body/mind knows before hand the results}. That may affect your feelings/desires about having children.
{this is not necessarily a prediction as it is the body compensating what 'it', the body, already knows to be true}.

Let me know your thoughts. I see the last part of your dream about the mothers being very positive for you. I would be interested in knowing the results of the new tests you are waiting on. It may or may not
confirm my thoughts about this part of the dream.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 56 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: fear of being killed

dear Gerard, first of all, thank you so much for your answer. it s strange, but a lot of things connected in my mind after reading your answer. yes, i definitely worry about the changes that the results of the test could influence this relationship. and yes, it s true that i have some issues on trust in my relationships since i am in them, and i probably keep walking the same path, also in this particular relationship. i would like to get rid of the fear of being abandoned, but i just cant. i think that is a huge barrier that keeps me from being completely honest and relaxed in relationships, even when i care so much about someone, as in this case. the fear i feel now about this exam is a fear of a disease, which can be totaly irrational, but i cant help making up stories in my head about how the things might turn up, whether i m sick and get lost in my moods and thoughts, and that reflects my everyday life. but as you mentioned the fear/desire of having children, the dreams became so much more clear and logic. i do want to have a child, and i think about it more than ever in my life. but the thing i wanted to tell you about is another dream, and i need your help with its meaning, cause i think i have a hint, but not for sure
* a tall, skinny, good looking black guy with the book in his hand is walking through a huge hall of something that reminds me of library, school, college, or similar, and i m walking behind him, and trying to attract his attention. he s very shy, and doesnt turn his head in my direction, i only see his forehead and part of nose, but he knows i like him alot, and he s kind of into me, too, actually, likes me alot, but i know that only from a strong feeling inside of me.
next scene is me going out of the building, also some sort of educational institution, with a big staircase in front, and i m going out of it and starting walking to the right side of it, holding the key somebody gave me inside the building. i m suppose to unlock some locker that is at the end of a big park infront of that building. and i m naked. actually, a only have a small towel that covers my intimate parts of body, but i dont feel awkward, quite opposite, i m very confident and happy and excited about the key i m holding in my hand. with my other hand i m holding the small towel so it doesnt fall. i m walking through the park, it s night time, but it s people everywhere, so when i think someone might attack me, i m naked and all that, i soon give up on that idea and relax and keep walking. i m on the right side of the path`that is long, and at a moment a hear police car pulling over, on my left side, but i dont stop and at the moment i think in my head they could probably think i m a prostitute, since i m almost naked, but then i have a black jacket(suddenly). they just continue without stopping the car. i continue walking, still excited, and the rain, but more like hail is falling, and on the left side i see something like a crime scene, somebody was killed or raped, some people with pink and yellow tents are in that building and the police is probably everywhere, but i still dont pay much attention to it and just keep walking. somehow i remember the reason i m going to unlock something is that guy, who s probably gonna be there
please, let me know what you think about this, and if it s somehow connected to the other one, and if this key is, as i read in one of the dictionaries, some sort of sollution that i need

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27, usa

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: fear of being killed

maya,
This may be a bit hard to explain so please bear with me.

When you start to think about something about my interpretation, and then come to a realization, that in itself is important because you begin to understand something about yourself that you had previously not realized. Dream interpretations usually offer insights to the outer perimeters of the dreamer's life but the actual waking experiences that the dream is trying to communicate can only be understood by the dreamer. So when you state "but a lot of things connected in my mind after reading your answer", that is almost as good as my giving a 'correct' explanation to your dream. Dream interpretation is not an exact science, there are too many variables that only the dreamer understands. But by providing possible 'clues' to the dream symbols and metaphors, often the dreamer will come to realizations that spark an understanding of the dream. I consider that just as important as 'getting' an interpretation 'right on'. It seems to have worked in your case. And the more you think about the possibilities the better the chance you will have even deeper realizations about yourself.

As for your dream in this post. Look at the tall, skinny, good-looking black guy as a part of who you are {your attraction to this fellow may also have meaning in your waking life beyond what I suggest about him being an aspect of your own psyche}. What this 'masculine' aspect offers is knowledge about yourself {book, library, school, college}. The fact that he is black may suggest these aspects are still stored away in your unconscious {black} and you have yet to realize the possible contributions it can provide about yourself and your life. There may have been 'glimpses' {connecting things about yourself in your mind} into these still unrealized aspects but there are other things to be realized still. That may fit with your 'hunch' { i think i have a hint}.

The 'key' is to those things about yourself that are now being realized, and other possibilities that need to be realized. It can unlock the 'doors' to your understanding yourself better {this is the education you are receiving}. You are beginning to expose these other aspects {being naked} about yourself by giving thought and time to their understanding.

As for the dream. It is a good possibility its is addressing those fears you have stated about your life, and the need to find ways to avoid giving so much thought to them. This is to help relieve the stress you put on yourself. It seems from what you stat in this post that many of the fears in your life are '{what you think' and may or may not always be real. On one hand {the right side of the path} there are the possible things in your life that can go wrong {the things you think about}. On the other hand {your left side} there is the true reality that perhaps these things are not wrong, there is a logical explanation. On the left side there is a crime scene {the truth about how you feel, your emotional state of mind} but you don't pay attention to these scenes {this is where the dream is asking you to not pay attention to all your negative thoughts}. When you are able to do this, not give in to the negative thinking, you will discover those positive qualities that are represented by the good looking black guy. In other words there are positive qualities within yourself that are still unconscious, but available to you {good looking black guy}. Your world will be much better off if you were able not to think about all the negative possibilities and instead concentrate on the positive. In summary the dream may be trying to communicate that 'you worry too much about the negatives. The masculine aspect {black guy} may represent the need to be take control {a masculine aspect} and not dwell on the negatives. This could very well be the statement the dream is trying to make.

From your own words we know you do worry a lot, perhaps too much. If you tend to dwell on the negatives then there may be a need to access those masculine aspects you possess {we all possess} to confront those negative thoughts. Worrying about any diseases is normal but to put so much into the negative emotions will affect your waking life. If this continues then anything positive in your life will be overshadowed by your negative thinking. Perhaps that you need to overcome. You have an idea that is true {i think i have a hint}. The long road {the path`that is long} is the path of finding ways to change your attitude to how you think. That is where the key fits, if I am correct in my assumptions about this dream.

And if I am not correct, then never mind {a little pun to a serious subject}.

Let me know your thoughts. And again the results of those tests you are waiting on. I am interested to see if your previous dream is indeed alerting you before hand to the results of those tests {which would be negative in your dream}.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 56 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: fear of being killed

Gerard, this is so helpful, thank you again, and i m sure you know that. my dream is exactly what i m trying to figure out all this time - about my constant fears of being this or that, of making mistakes and disappoint others and myself, fear of loosing the direction in life, fear of making wrong choices, fear od disease, fear of being who i am for real, fear of relationships and so many more things, that when i look at my life, it was pretty much a collection of my fears and me trying to cope with it. so my dream telling me not to look at things too negative is so right. i m so excited about that. about this communication with my unconscious, and i want to keep listening to it. i m aware of this path being long and hard, but in this moment i feel strong to try to take control and pay attention to my masculine side, because i feel trapped in chains all over me, and i need to free my mind. i ll be glad to let you know about the results of the test, which will happen in a few days. waiting for any kind of results was always unpleasant for me, especially the ones about my health. but i was never so scared about anything in my life like i m now. last night i dreamed about my highschool classmate discovering a huge amount of money that starts to fall from the roof of some house, and i m with friends and we all start grabbing it while it s still falling. i m concerned that we ll attract to much attention if we behave like that, and all of a sudden all these people appear on the street and start grabbing the money. the next scene is we are in the house of this very rich couple, and they are not there, and we re stealing their stuff. i m in this woman s room, and i m opening the first higher drawer in her night stand. there is so much jewelery in there, everything is sparkling from treasure, neclaces, bracelets, small red jewelery boxes which i open and they re filled with money, i grab all that, literary grab, and put in some sort of tray. then i open the second, lower drawer, where i find her underwear, it s all so tender, delicate, feminine, smells nice and clean, everything is in the perfect order, and i take out the long, beautiful green dress, made of silk and some other material and i kind of measure the size of it on my body and it fits perfectly, but i dont take it with me, i just put it back, i dont know why. then there is a third lower drawer with the socks, all again very clean and in order, and in lots of colors and paterrns, but i like these black with white dots the most. i go to the room where everybody is, and they are talking, and i have two trays in my hands full of all this valuable things. but there s a woman, long brown hair, blue eyes and very pleasant looking, and she is so nice, and offering us drinks. i m scared cause i dont know if she s the owner of the house and of these things i just stole, and i distract her by sending her to the kitchen, so i can get rid of the things a stole and that i hid under the table. she goes to the kitchen and talks to us all the time, and i just throw things in the trash. i realised that that was not so smart to do, because the things definitely are missing from her drawer and i lso dont possess them anymore. the others ask me what have i done with stuff, and i tell them i just threw it, and they disaprove. and all this time i was stealling stuff i know i wont get away with it, cause you cant beat the justice and there are too much of us stealing and somebody will definitely sing.
so, gerard, everything you told me about my previous dreams makes sense. thank you, thank you, thank you, i think i feel a lot better after talking about this

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27, usa

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: fear of being killed

hi, Gerard, i posted this last dream on friday, and read about how busy you were with all the post on the same day. i was just checking if you maybe didnt see this one, or you havent had enough time yet to reply. my doctor's appointment is today, and i hope i ll have some news soon. i dont remember my dreams from these few days after friday, except one lucid dream on weekend, where i remember i cant wait to wake up, because the dream is starting to be unpleasant, but i dont know what happened. take care and i hope to talk to you soon

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27, usa

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: fear of being killed

Maya,
I apologize for not getting back to you and your dream. It has indeed been a busy week and I sometimes overlook posts, especially those that I or others may have already given a partial response.

Looking at your dream I am torn between whether it is focusing more on personal relationships or health issues. Since there are three drawers it could very well be doing both. Most likely it is but exactly in what context is not so clear. Let me ponder the dream overnight and give it a fresh look in the morning. Perhaps with a fresh mind {mornings usually are better for me intuitive wise} I will be able to discern what the dream is trying to address.

Again, sorry for overlooking your response. I am anxious to learn the results of your tests {but no more than you} to see if your previous dream was indeed communicating a truth about your health issues.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 57 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: fear of being killed

Maya,
Let me post my thoughts to the last posted dream as I broke it down and see if any of it stokes your mind. It looks as if the dream is addressing fears and knowledge about yourself but is not so clear as to which aspect is more important {as to the intent of the dream}. Let me know your thoughts. If you will go back to the other dreams and determine if perhaps that shines any new light on the following:

-information coming from your thinking self
-you are trying to grab onto this information
-you are afraid of the info because of expectations
-but that doesn't keep you from looking for more
-the inner wealth can not be accessed but you want to take what you can
-the first drawer may be the first dream which has valuable info
-you store this info away
-the second drawer contains intimate info
-this fits who you are but you do not utilize it
-the third drawer contains that info from the unconscious which provides glimpses of the patterns in your life
-you have both the unconscious knowledge and the conscious knowledge
-you are not sure if you should possess this knowledge because of fear of what it contains
-you are hiding from the possible results
-you are throwing away valuable aspects
-you are afraid you have thrown away valuables and this upsets you

hopefully the above will help you with the associations to your life and the metaphors in the dream. We know some things about what the dream is trying to communicate and perhaps this will help stimulate even more associations.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 57 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: fear of being killed

dear Gerard,
first i want to thank you again for your response, and to tell you that i was reading it over and over again, and it again makes sense, but i only need some time to make it more clear. second, i have good news for you - my results came out to be good, and all the paranoya that i went through was really too much, but on the positive side, it was a great thing, because it shaked my world completely and warned me to pay more attention to my most valuable thing, health. i ended up sendind all these mails to my friends today telling them to wake up and think more about themselves in that way, because i feel like i went through a very important phase in my life and that i made a huge step forward. i wish i have some power to force people to think about it, because i realised that i forgot to take care of myself for some time, and nobody s ever gonna do that instead of me. this is also one of the ways, finding this site, of my taking care of myself. and that is probably one of the best things i did recently. i dont wanna sound corny here, so i apologize if i made you cry . best regards and hope to hear from you

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27, usa

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

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