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Men in my life

My mom, who's an interpreter on here, told me to post this dream I had a couple nights ago. She tried to interpret for me, but said that she can't because she knows me too well, so I'm hoping someone can help. I will try to give some background info as I go along.


(The night before this dream, Mom and I were watching a TV show and discussing who the "hotties" were, and I chose the rugged, manly guy on the show). In the beginning, I was with friends. We went to a farm house, met up with peolpe I didn't know. There was a man (early to mid-twenties) comig in from a field. I remember thinking that he was attractive. We all went swimming in a lake or pond (some source of fresh water). Someone noticed there was a shark coming. We all swan like crazy and the guy told us to swin to this piece of wood with nails in it for climbing and small patch of land. The shark was coming from behind us, but once we all made is safely to the "island", it had circled around us, trying to attack from the front. After a few minutes, the shark went away. After we got back on the shore, I remember him flirting with me, and he wanted to date me. I rejected him, said we should stay friends. I remember thinking that I was stupid, I truly liked him also. Later, I told one of my friends that I really like him and can't stop thinking about him, since he seemed to be the one for me. He looked rugged, manly, was in a rock band and was sensitive, caring, nice and most of all funny. Later on, it was just the two of us, in the woods or field. He said that I was beautiful and that I have amazing eyes. He also said, again, that he really liked me and wanted to be my boyfriend. This time, I said yes and told him how I felt about him. The last thing I remember from that day was us walking in a field, holding hands. We stopped to kiss and it was right at sunset (the sky was orange).

Sometime after that (as in a day or more later), I went to his house. I hadn't yet met his family. It was like a ranch, secluded, in the middle of nowhere, it seemed. I met his mother and father, his sister. My grandfather and his wife (not my grandmother) were in the kitchen, cooking something (they love to cook; I have no idea where they came from, they seemed to have no ties with this family). My boyfriend held my hand, guided me upstairs. He showed me around. The first room we came to was a large, open den/play area. His sister was in there playing with dolls. He said "this used to be my room, but my brother moved out, so I got his old room." He then led me into his room and shut the door. We sat down in chairs, he grabbed my hand, and said that he thought I was amazing from the first time he saw me. We started kissing, one thing led to another, and we made love.

The next thing I remember: We were outside his house, his friends were all around me while he went inside to get something. For some reason, I was on the ground. When I looked down at my body, I was skinny (probably 140 pounds or so; I've struggled with weight my whole life and in the past year, I've went from 255 to 185 pounds) and I was wearing shorts and a tank top, so it must have been warm. All of his friends were telling me how beautiful I am, how they would love to be my boyfriend, how lucky my boyfriend was to have me, and how they wanted me sexually. When my boyfriend got back outside, he helped me up off the ground, kissed me, then took off to do some kind of work (his family owned their own business, something that was physically risky like catching alligators, or something along those lines, maybe hunters). Right before he left though, he told me that he loved me. I remember thinking that I thought it was too early in the relationship, but I felt the same way and said it back.

Towards the end of the dream, he began acting ungrateful to me, only around his male friends. He wouldn't abuse me, just seemed not as loving/caring as before. (Every relationship I've been in, I've felt abused, either mentally or verbally, or by actions that the man puts forth).

Please, someone help me get a better understanding from this!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20 Central OH, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? N

Re: Men in my life

Amanda,
Farms are where you grow things. The people you don't know probably represents aspects about yourself that you may not know or understand. And that seems to be dealing with masculine aspects, most likely men in your life but perhaps having something to do with your own masculine qualities {which seems secondary but may be just as important}.

But there is something that may be a threat to this masculine aspect, the shark. Perhaps this threat is about vulnerabilities you possess {opposite of masculine qualities you need}. When the shark approaches from the rear {unconscious} it may represent something you do not realize, or will admit, about yourself. When it approaches from the front {conscious attitudes} you recognize it for what it represents and it disappears.

The guy in your dream, attractive, flirty. You reject him. But when he takes on the characteristics of being rugged, manly, was in a rock band and was sensitive, caring, nice and most of all funny, you accept him. Perhaps this is the central message of the dream. The type guy you truly wish for in life, perhaps more opposed in reality to what you think you wish for.

Perhaps attractiveness is one aspect you want in a relationship but it may not be any more important than being, sensitive, caring, and funny.
The rock band? Perhaps recently you had en experience where some guy in a rock band got your attention. That part is listed in what you wish your guy to possess but it doesn't necessary mix with caring, sensitive, funny. Is there a rock band member you believe fits this aspect you require in your guy?

This part of the dream seems to be addressing the same concerns as the posted dream Marrying lips. It was a very short dream but it seems to be addressing some of the same emotions as the first part of your dream.

The shark! If it does represent vulnerabilities it may mean you are capable of excepting someone less than your true desires as a companion. The rock band may be a clue to that. The rocker from a distance may seem the 'right' type guy and this may be due to the popularity of his fame. What girl isn't vulnerable to that?

Note: I had not read the remaining parts of your dream prior to making the above comments.

Reading the rest of the dream. Although the above observation probably fits, the shark could very well be the struggle with your weight. But that shows up later in the dream. I will focus on the second part before going there.

His house, the one you go to in your dream, is the masculine aspect you possess {real people or actual aspects of the animus}. Since in the dream you have not met his family, this may suggest you have not explored all within your psyche pertaining to this aspect. When you do there are familiar parts {his mother, father and sister} but also some parts that are not clear {the grandmother who is not your true grandmother}. The inclusion of your grandfather, and the unknown grandmother may represent your deeper wiser self {as well as qualities you may respect for which they possess}. The unknown qualities of the grandmother may be addressing qualities of your true grandmother that consciously you do not recognize but unconsciously {intuitively} you do. I would explore that possibility and see where it leads.

From there you explore other parts of your psyche {there seems to be some aspects dating back to actual childhood-does the room that belonged to your brother and then became yours hold any truth?}. And although the parts where you and the guy start making out and ends in other things {sex} probably is addressing desires, there may be roots from earlier childhood experiences mixed in with those other aspects. Those experiences may have some control over how you think and process data in your current life.

The last part of the dream is probably addressing the real issues in your life. The trouble with weight control along with desires to be accepted and finding a guy, are these aspects that control your waking life? Deep down you wish to be accepted and since you have lost a lot of weight that has been more accepted by your peers than before you lost the weight. But you may feel there are those who still 'snicker' at you {guys in particular}. The last part of the dream focuses on that aspect. The abuse you suffer in real life is played out in this part of the dream, reflecting the true events in your life.

In conclusion
The first part of my commentary seemed to be incorrect, or at least very minor, until I read your last statement about the abusive nature of the guys you have been with, This may be due to the choices you make in choosing not only boyfriends but friends in general. Other parts of your dream is focusing on desires {a natural event for someone your age} about companionship {the stimulus may have been the TV shows with all the 'hotties'}, and of course your battle with weight control. It may be that you have in the past made wrong choices in guys and friends and your weight may have been a factor {accepting something less because you feel less than you should}. But now that you have lost a lot of weight your priorities have changed, and perhaps you feel emboldened to make wiser choices. But since you may have made wrong choices previously, the last part of the dream reminds you of those choices as well as how others can act towards your appearance, more so than what is inside.

There is a silver lining in all of this. Losing so much weight shows there is that needed desire and discipline to lose even more. If you stay the course you WILL achieve that desired goal of weighting 140 lbs. And with the better looking you perhaps it will help you make better decisions in the future.

Now tell your mother she should have given an interpretation to your dream. She would most likely came up with something very similar. Jungians tend to think alike.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 57 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Men in my life

you seem to have a desire for a type of man that you fear will inevitably let you down.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42 bronx ny

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: Men in my life

Sorry it took so long to get back on here, I know how you guys get pissed if someone doesn't reply. About the shark, that's an excellent point, I guess I hadn't thought about that. I fight between both my masculine and feminine side all the time (to be girly or not be girly). About the rock band thing, I'm around guys in rock bands all the time, so I think that may have something to do with the influence. And I do find them attractrive, so that makes sense too! I'll admit it, I have accepted someone I've thought to be lower than me (looks, intelligence, upbringing). My grandfather and step-grandmother, I would say are the epitome of love and marriage. They are always happy, older, and yeah, pretty wise. I think I may have confused you on this. In my dream, my grandfather and step-grandmother (I know her, have seen her before) were in the kitchen, not someone unknown to me. Sorry for the confusion.

I never had a brother, or a sister for that matter, so I never got a hand-me-down bedroom. Right now, sex is one of the least important things to me, I have so much going on. I was in a long relationship and my sig other cheated on me. Since then, I haven't really trusted guys (I think this may have something to do with me rejecting the guy in my dream).

The being thinner, more beautiful, they are things I think of often when I'm awake. But finding a guy right now, I don't really care one way or the other, I think that's just too much to handle right now.

I chose my friends and boyfriends by what we have in common. For instance, I love rock n roll, I could never be friends with someone who loved country. But, the flipside to that is, I have a weird sense of humor and can be mean and hurtful, but in a joking way. I guess if I find someone like that, every once in a while, I may just get hurt by a comment they make, even if they mean to be humorous.

Now that you've put this in perspective for me, I see the bigger picture. Thank you so much for all your help!!

Carlos - I have found that many men in my life have let me down.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20, Central OH

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

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