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Back in my childhood home

In this dream I'm back at my first childhood home. It looks quite different, as if it is mixed with the scenery from a shopping mall, but I'm still shure it is the same place.

I am there with my boyfriend, our daughter and my mother. There are other people there too, like it is some kind of public place. We enter the house on the ground floor, and I know that the part of the house where we used to live is on this floor, but it is hidden, somehow. Still I can feel a really bad energy from this area, and I tell my boyfriend that I'm feeling uneasy because of this. It is not possible to enter into the area where I spent my first three years, the wall closing it in has no doors.

Instead I go up the stairs with my mother. It is a broad wooden stair and on the first floor there are no walls separating the rooms, just some poles here and there. It seems to be going on forever, there are big windows and expensive furniture everywhere, mostly couches and chairs arranged in different groups.

I know that I've been here before a long time ago, and I'm surprised thet the furniture is the same and still unused, like new. My mother tells me that this floor belongs to a distant relative of mine, a woman who is very rich.

All this time I know that this is a place I have been to before, and in this dream I remember another dream I had as a child where I enter the basement of this building. It is dark and moist, shaped like an underground labyrinth and it is a very frightening place, with something very evil chasing me.

Next I'm talking to my boyfriend. He is hiding inside a small closet, and I only see a minature version of his face through a hole the size of a key hole. He is telling me that he is going to meet with a girl who he used to hang out with before. That they are going out to have som beers. I have a suspicion that he has been in love with her before, and I react with fear when he tells me this. He then tells me that I have to give him this freedom or else he will leave me. Or maybe he has already been with her, he says. It is really upsetting for me.

Next I am all over the place looking for my daughter. My boyfriend doesn't know where she is and I have lost sight of her too. Now the setting is more of a shopping mall. I finally reach my mother on her cell phone and I am shouting to her because I can't hear what she says. But at last I understand that my daughter is with her and I go outside and over to another house where thay are waiting for me.

Re: Back in my childhood home

Inanna,
Very often these type of childhood 'home' dreams are reflecting the past having to do with childhood experiences. Your dream seems to be displaying some 'bad' experiences from your childhood. There may be unconscious aspects to these experiences {the part of the house where we used to live is on this floor, but it is hidden}, something repressed, ignored or forgotten. It could even involve experiences from the earliest years of your life {It is not possible to enter into the area where I spent my first three years}, before the brain was able to fully retain memories.

The girl in your dream, the one your boyfriend used to hang out with may be metaphor for another part of who you are. This part is most likely someone you need to recognize, and learn to 'hang out with' so to get to know her better. She probably has something to do with you as a child.

The daughter is probably a reference to you as a child also. You can not find this person, this hidden part of you. Since your mother is prevalent in the dream the relationship with her may be important, and vital to understanding these past childhood experiences. The last of the dream implies you felt your daughter {you} was safe while with your mother. The past experiences may very well have significance as it has to do with the mother/child relationship.

Unconsciously {through your dreams} you are revisiting the past, some traumatic experience {It is dark and moist, shaped like an underground labyrinth and it is a very frightening place, with something very evil chasing me}.

I suggest you speak with your mother about this time in your life and those experiences she remembers. These experiences may have something to do with who you are today, how you act and react emotionally in certain situations and circumstances. This may be why the dream is revisiting these past experiences, so you can discover the foundations of who you are as an adult, as well as confronting some emotionally charged experience from your past.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 57 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Back in my childhood home

Thank you so much for your interpretation. I agree in most of what you are saying. I know for sure that my first three years must have been quite dramatic, because we were the living with my alcoholic father. I don't remember much, but I think It was a great loss for me when me and my mother moved away from him. I believe I was really attached to my father in spite of his problems.

My mother worked a lot when I was little and she wanted to sort of delete the past when we moved, so she has never told me much about him or this part of our life. It has become something repressed for sure, and I was never allowed to grieve over my loss. I have a really tense relationship with my mother, as I feel that she failed to make me feel safe and loved as a child. I forgot to mention that in the dream I was not happy with her beeing alone with my daughter because I really felt that she wouldn't be able to give her what she needed, but I was relieved anyway thet she wasn't lost completely on her own.

I have great trust issues because of this lack of safety and warmth in my childhood, and I often feel threatened by the thought of my boyfriend leaving me. I have had many of these dreams lately, variations over the theme that he is leaving me. It is really exhausting, but I hope that I'm getting closer to the core of my problem so I can work it out somehow...

Re: Back in my childhood home

Inanna,
Thanks for your response. The personal info you provided confirms {once again} the hypothesis that language within a dream eluding to childhood {especially childhood homes} more often is addressing emotional issues from actual childhood experiences, and which are brought forward into adult life because the issues have not been properly resolved. A function of dreams is to help you work through the emotional issues in your life, past and present, and sometimes even future.

A lot of what dreams are speaking to are personal issues. A good interpretation of a dream will be fully able to address the >parameters of a dream, and often provide insights to personal experiences {in general form...childhood home symbolic of emotional childhood experiences}. But many of the personal aspects of a dream only you can understand. For instance, the relationship between you, your mother and your daughter. I can determine that there is some relationship but the actual experience can not often be provided by anyone {including me} who knows nothing about your personal life. Analyzing dreams in many ways is like being analyzed by a psychologist {without the couch of course}.

The issues you speak of, trust issues, most likely has it foundations from those negative experiences you spoke of in your response. Even the young psyche of a 3 year old takes in information and makes associations. An alcoholic father and a working mother often denies a young child the needed emotional nourishment required for a developing psyche. Those experiences help shape the psyche and have some degree of control as how you live your life.

your mistrust of your mother in giving your daughter what she needs is mostly likely an imprint from tyour own childhood experiences with your mother. It is a common pattern of experience and can be expected {much greater chances of occurrence} to affect {your} behavior.

Either you acknowledge and confront the emotional issues to bring about closure, or as most people do simply ignore them and continue to be negatively influenced in life. There must be closure or the wounds most likely will never heal.
It is often a long road to recovery.

My life include 'negative' childhood experiences that controlled how I lived to a great degree, up until age 42. I ended that control when I discovered Jung and undertook an individuation, a thorough inner search. You may want to read the links provided
about individuation, and the inner psychological search. It is psychological, and with discipline you can work through your issues on your own. Or you can find a psychologist {preferably Jungian} and go that route. But you do need to work through these issues or they will retain enough emotional energy to disrupt life.

To that end, our thoughts are with you.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 57 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Back in my childhood home

Inanna,
You may want to read my post from this morning Simplifying Jung. It provides some good insights as how the psyche functions. Understanding that will help with personal isues.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 57 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Back in my childhood home

Again, thank you for your response.
I'm on the path of individuation myself, it's been three and a half years now since I met my shaddow in a lifechanging dream. It's a long process, sometimes very painful and frightening, but for the last seven months I've been going to therapy, and it speeds it all up, I think. I've told my therapist about this dream and we are going to work with some of the images to try to get acess to the feelings from that time. It's a really strange thing that my memories from this house (symbolic for my first three years) are all gone, but from the exact moment me and my mother walked out the door to leave for good my memory starts to function. The journey away from the house is crystal clear to me, and from then on I have lots of memories.
My mother wanted to erase those years from her memory, and it seems like that has had a deep affect on me too. I'm looking forward to reaching a point where I'm free from my fears and free to enjoy life to the fullest..

"Peace,Love,Happiness,Eternity.. may all these walk with me"

Inanna ( have you studied the ancient sumerian texts about the goddess Inanna who went down from heaven to the undreworld to encounter her dark and "evil" sister? I think it's all the same story..
And Inannas wedding with the shepard Dumuzi. It's Anima and Animus, it's archetypical, and it's everywhere.. The facinating thing about the Inanna-version is the simplicity and beauty of the words, and that it is the oldest known written versin of this theme..)


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