First of all, thanks Justin for continuing to look at this theme. For those of you who help to interpret and look deeper into these dreams... Thanks. Sometimes, this is hard work to open up and expose such vulnerabilities and truths. The warmth and lack of rigidity of your resonses helps too.

Okay, the dream theme...
Sometimes, I am in a house at night and there is a thunderstorm, which makes the lightning and thunder more ominous and the flashing bright lights stand out. The thunderstorm is in every dream. The outlets start to spark and I fear that the house is going to catch on fire. I want to go outside, but I fear the trees will fall on me.

Another thunderstorm where the trees are falling down behind me. They are being struck by lightning and catching on fire and falling into the canal. I walk in the canal while the trees are on fire, but I am safe in the water from the fire.

Another thunderstorm that is causing the transformers on telephone poles to explode. As the transformers explode, the poles fall (or I fear that they will fall on me). I keep trying to outrun them because they explode or fall like dominoes. I look up to see the transformers arcing from one pole to the other. It is unbelievably bright. I try to protect my head with my arms. The sound of the arcing electricity continues above my head and gives me chills. I hate the sound.

This one might be a different theme, but after a thunderstorm, my electricity went out. I went to the neighborhood control box that was more like a tiny dark room, and I noticed that only my house was affected. I kept trying to play with the wires. The only thing that bothered me was that I could not fix the air conditioning (I hate air conditioning because I am usually always cold ?).

Again, thanks for helping me look into these dreams.
Martha

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Hi Martha

Many thanks to you - for your support, appreciation and encouragement.

I have been helped greatly by the folk on this site - and so what you say has meaning for me. I have recieved support and an honesty that in turn has helped me to continue learning and get to aspects of understanding much more effectively than I could have ever done alone - and for this I am very grateful.

I need more time than I have right now to look at your dream - I am digesting it ,, so to speak

namaste
Justin

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Hi Martha,

These dreams all seem to have similar themes.

The location - in a house at night ,, this is something that your consciousness is not aware of ,,, and this unknowing makes it seem all the more ominous. Part of you wants to go into this (it may feel that you are confronting something?). That the house (a metaphor for you) ,, wil catch fire. This fire could be the fire of transformation,,,, that if you 'go outside' everything you know, own or hold dear may be destroyed.

Where are these canals? ,,,, do they lead / connect to the sea? The sea can be thought of as 'the great Universal Unconsciousness' - that the canal is connected to ,,, although canals are man-made. This is likely worth thinking about ,,
"Trying to outrun them" ,,, speaks for itself ,,, you running way> and you intrinsically know, that once inner defence falls they will 'fall like dominoes'

This is balanced by the trees ,, being struck down by lightning,,, both are natural phenomena. The power of Nature ,,,

The transformers and telephone poles ,, again man-made. Or dried out, dead trees ,,, all the life has gone out of them.
The telephone - the connections; the where-with-all for communications. Could this relate to you loosing your internal wiring, the internal ability to connect different parts of yourself / different ways of thinking ,,, perhaps by being too logical.
Transformers - As you know the symbols in dreams usually work in at least two levels - so,
i) one meaning of this could be personal - ie: Could this be what you are doing in waking life ie: turning down your energy, or
ii) were you overloading your energy systems at the time
ii) another level of meaning relates to the metaphysical structure of ourselves ,,, in the Universe

And finally the air conditioning, you are 'usually always cold' ,,, can I leave this one to you?


A lot to think about there ,,,,
All the best
Justin

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WOW! Thanks Justin. Your insights caught me completely off guard, and now I have to digest those "aha" moments.

Here is some background info: After spending most of my life numb and distanced from my past, I decided to turn to my dreams for help. They came with a fury, and I quickly wanted to turn away. However, Pandora's box was opened and along came nightmares and flashbacks and the many effects of PTSD.

So, you were right... "part of me wants to do this," but the other part wants to run away terrified.

Yes, "everything I know (or as I know it) will be destroyed." Not being able to see the gift of new life or rebirth yet.

The canals are from back home in South Florida. A mention of the past that I am running from. How obvious it is to see that now.

Disconnection? WOW! That pretty much sums it up. Spending most of my life disassociated from my "bad" or "shameful" parts, which means I cut off from life in general.

And too logical (intellect)? And we didn't even talk about the decapitated dreams! Depending too much on the logical - reading and studying so much - because it's what I can control.

About the transformers... The one that makes sense (maybe obviously now) is that my energy system has been overloaded. I want to get over things as of yesterday, so I push hard, but then push back in fear (a vicious circle). I guess what took 30 years to repress can't be dealt with in 30 days.

And, I have to look more into this chakra - kundalini energy.

Thanks again!
Martha

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Hi Martha

good on you - and thanks for yor feedback.

I am taken by the fact that 'you turned to your dreams' - this is greatly respectful to yourself, a sign that you are willing to tune in to the deepest parts of you ,, it is indeed, turning to the teacher within.

Many folk on this site will understand what it takes to do what you are doing - hang in there, especially on days where the ebb is low.

I know that you will be digesting and there is no need for much of a reply - you are clearly 'on line' with what is going on and just needed a bit of focusing (as in an out of focus lens,, not intensity - you obviously have enough of that.

My thoughts - all will come as it ought, and look to / for the good: see how much things have changed - and be grateful - to the teacher within, who had never left you.

For myself also, what I have buried for decades cannot be cleared away as quickly as part of me would like (the part that wants to know) ,,, I have found a compassion in the process. It seems that my understandings will only unfold at their rate ,, giving me as much as I can take, although surely I am at the limit.

Good for you
Justin

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Gerard,
You asked where I was in the process of therapy... I ended therapy a year ago. I am Thankful it's over. And, I am a completely different person.

Your question about therapy, although maybe not the way you intended, really made me think... The last two years of therapy were the hardest. I was trying to gain my own sense of control, power and voice. (One example, is that I wanted to look further into my dreams -- she did not encourage this.) We started to argue more (I am pretty fiesty). After almost 7 years, there was a bond (more like bondage), so it was one of the hardest things I had to do in ending the therapeutic relationship, but I think it saved me. Almost immediately, the depression lifted, and I stopped taking anti-anxiety medication.

I am still playing with the dream theme, this therapy issue and the questions. But, something feels familiar and "right." ... I had come to the place where I was fighting a strong power (her)... I was trying to own my own power, but at the expense of losing the other... very emotional due to the loss of connection (with her)... the most important connection that I needed was to myself... I was giving her too much power over my life...

As for where I am at with dream processes, You are looking at a work in progress. I am in transition again. I am sitting back thinking... I can't believe this is what was going on. There are more dream themes from the past that are making sense now -- like pieces of a puzzle coming together.

Peace - Martha

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