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terrorists torturing my spiritual teacher

I am in the desert. We are attacked by terrorists,very cruel and aggressive.There is a big mountain in the middle of the desert near where we are.It has a door.I am with a multitude of people..I try to make everybody enter the door and go up the stairs inside the mountain but before i can close the door to have everybody protected the last people are injured by bullets from the terrorists.It is a lot of suffering.the scene changes.the terrorists have captured ny spiritual teacher(real life one) and are torturing,he is really frightened and suffering alot.he gets more and more scared anticipating the following set of extremely cruel set of tortures.I feel helpless and I don't know what to do.
i watch him shaking with eyes out of orbits full of panic.Strangely,it is not a real nightmare and I am more a surprised observer than totally freaked out as I would be in real life it something like that happened.Can you make sense of that?Thanks for trying

Re: terrorists torturing my spiritual teacher

Hi Margit

Just some ideas to ponder over,

Your dream seems to imply that you are terrorising yourself with an inner set of agressive and cruel thoughts or beliefs 'Male' terrorists, It may be that these thoughts towards oneself are of a critical nature but most lightly represent ways you put yourself down and 'torture' your self over.

More specifically your dream intimates that you are torturing that part of you - your 'inner spiritual teacher', which lightly represents a higher wisdom and undersatnding which is coming through for you right now in relation to your own spirituality.

Old patterns of thinking (terroists) that have been with us for a long time may often feel threatened by new ways of understanding that we aspire too, in response the old thought patterns and understandings that we have (which incidently men tend to represent in a dream)come back with a vengenance seizing the psyche, not willing to let go with out a fight, fighting back with agressive impulses and putdowns to the new way of understanding 'spiritual teacher'.

Life creates from within and manifests outwardly drawing and 'attracting' those people and situations into our life that best reflect our own internal dynamics. When the tensions of these internal dynamics you have are held within they play themselves out in your innerbeing, and it is from this then that you will create the same set of tension dynamics in your outer life ie attracting those people and situations into your life that best mirror these internal ways of relating to yourself.

To put it another way, after reading your comments made to Gerard about your relationship circumstances, it is these circumstances that reflect your inner dynamics, your boyfriends behaviour in certain situations which tends to be critical ie in relation to the cutting of a water melon is truly mirroring your own intimate relationship with yourself, that of how you are critical with yourself, drawing you into a game of powerplay.

Only by making changes to your own interior being will you begin to see changes in your outer life the key is 'observing' these inner thoughts and beliefs that you have, which your dream suggests you are doing at the end 'surprised observer' and which also relates to the symbology of the diamond in your previous dream, that aspect of the mind 'diamond quality' which is able to penetratedeeply into the illusion in which you are creating in your day to day life, your previous comments watermelon etc also suggest your ability to penetrate and observe this reality which you are creating from your own internal being.

I hope this makes a little sense, and please keep in mind that it is only my limited perspective. Good luck to you Marce

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Re: terrorists torturing my spiritual teacher

Hi Margit Just to add a little more that came to me after the last reply and which may or may not be useful in undersatnding your dream -

Looking at your 'inner spiritual teacher', which lightly represents a higher wisdom and undersatnding which is coming through for you right now in relation to your own spirituality, What is it that your inner spiritual guidance is telling you right now? That so threatens to upset the applecart if you were to act on this guidance.

Your inner guidance ('male' spiritual teacher) may be percieved as repetious 'thoughts' that you have about taking some form of action in a certain part of your life right now, yet you respond by torturing yourself in some aggressive way over even having these thoughts, that are inspired from your own divine higher guidance and understanding that lies within.

As a result this is probably causing you much panic in your higher masculine energies of being able to see with clarity right now 'eyes out of orbits' about this particular situation and renders you feeling helpless in some way, unable to move forward pheraps in some area of your life, your call here.

If you any of this rings true for you and you have any questions dont hesitate to ask :)

Best to you Marce

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Re: terrorists torturing my spiritual teacher

Thanks a lot for taking the time to think about my dream and answering.I feel there are many interesting ideas in your interpretation.i completely agree on that we attract relationships and outer events according to the workings of our inner dynamics.I always have felt that instinctively even when I was very young.However, sometimes I don't really know how to change ingrown patterns which just perpetuate suffering. I have come to the conclusion that one step is just to become aware and observe.(this is also what you say,isn't it?).
With the trrorists your interpretation makes sense but how do you know that it is a repetitive aggressive thought pattern.Is this also a manifestation of the negative animus?.I have read that these aggressive male figures are representations of the negative animus.How do we know that it IS NOT some energy or part of mine that is "angry" because I do not honour it enough.A bit like the shadow which gets annoying because repressed.Is there nothing positive in these terrorists?.I later did some meditation on the dream and images of nomads from the desert beautifully clad in darkblue clothes came to my mind.Very male,vital and noble.They were the terrorists in my dream but in their own environment living in the desert.Very strange isn't it? How do you connect that?What could that mountain of the dream be also?I am very intrigued by this dream. Somehow ,I simphatize with the terrorists...very strange...But you are right also because I am very much selfcritical and have often obsessive thoughts which are torturing me and can't really relax into just BEING.Ok ,looking forward to your answer

Re: terrorists torturing my spiritual teacher

Hi Margit

Just in reply here to the comments you made-

"With the terrorists your interpretation makes sense but how do you know that it is a repetitive aggressive thought pattern.Is this also a manifestation of the negative animus?."

Men in dreams tend to represent, thoughts,ideas beliefs and understandings that we have and is a part of 'our' mind or our more mental nature.

In my second response I was intimating that the spiritual teacher in your dream was lightly representing an aspect of your Own inner guidance which you would probably percieve within yourself as repetitious 'thoughts' in relation to taking some form of action or making a decision of sorts that will be for your highest good. For example these thoughts may be linked to some form of action or decision to be taken within your relationship or career and which would ultimately serve you in some way.

The terrorists then if they are all male would represent an inner response to you having these thoughts, for example thoughts of a change in career, or thoughts about leaving your relationship, and many other possibilitys. The notion of you thinking such things is causing you to respond in a way that ultimately you beat yourself up over or torture your self over, this would be the more aggressive/thinking tendencies that the terrorists would represent in your dream.
The above are Just avenues to explore and ultimately only you the dreamer can find meaning in the nature of what your dream is telling you, go with the ah-ha gut responses you have to anything that is said as trying to work something out or analyse something with the mind based on what you have read leaves the dream in a place where asscociation after association may be applyed but no truth actually pervails.

Again I could be totally of key as well but the sense I get is that some form of positive understanding or direction which is coming to you from your own internal guidance is being met within by a need to surpress these ideas that your having and which may even be unconscious.

The desert paints a very mental landscape devoid of feeling (no water) when you are in this space 'mental space' This mental space may even be likened to those moments you encounter with your boyfriend when he draws you into a power struggle just to give you a picture of the sort of energy landscape you may encounter within oneself when you become angry and try to surpress certain thoughts you may have in relation to your guidance or spiritual understanding its almost like you push something aside as you are as yet unable to recieve what you are being shown because it may illicit more pain.

In doing so the feeling is that you in some way symphasize with the 'terrorists' with your own actions, Ie "No thats stupid to think like that" when having an understanding or thoughts in some form of inner guidance that the inner spiritual teacher reflects.

It seems that you are making much progress, im sure your meditation will lead you to more insights as well as your dreams. I hope this also helps you a little or at least gives you some more ideas, when being in a mental space for too long it is also good to do some good grounding exercises, even if its just walking around barefoot on the grass outside or something more physical like yoga this helps you to come back to the more feeling values of your nature, and switching off the thinking mind, as a result you may even begin to hear what your innervoice is saying more clearly. Getting a sense of how you feel in your body is as important as understanding ourselves as we can sometimes run away with our thoughts, funny i mentioned that else where in someone elses dream earlier this week.

If theres any more Questions feel free to ask, good luck to you Marce.

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Re: terrorists torturing my spiritual teacher

Dear Marce,thanks alot for taking the time to answer.I really appreciate it.
Yes,what you say has some deep inner resonance as I am going thru a lot of changes.I have been practicing Tibetan Buddhism for 22 years since I was quite young and I always felt happy with it. But now I am at a curious point where I am getting very independent and rebellious(I always have been a bit).Like a strong need to discover my own inner way.Before I was happy with the rituals (which are quite archetypical and really powerful)but now I sort of feel more attracted to "my own symbols". I am a translator for the Lamas in my spare time and translate their teachings at lectures and retreats.I am quite independent(I don't live at the centre and have an independent job).I enjoy helping with the translations but feel a bit tired of the drawbacks of a structured organisation and feel I need some "fresh wind".I cannot bring myself to do sitting meditation now(before I did three hours every day)and feel an imperious need to explore my dreams instead of doing the structured techniques I have learnt(mostly visualization,mantras and vipashyana.)I feel as if I am running away from my Self(the true enlightened essence) on one hand and jumping into my unconcious and my shadow on the other hand(which is also the self of course)with my dream work. I feel guilty for not doing more formal meditation(even if I know that this is silly).I feel that we are composed of four parts:spiritual.intelectual.emotional and physical.In my life three parts are taken care of .But the emotional part is starving.In my tradition emotions are or the enemy:the way of the monk(because you are pushed to create negative actions by the influence of negative emotions ) OR they are the fertilizer(where you try to get access to the energy in the emotion and see their inherent purity and enlightened energy(the way of the Vajrayana or Buddhist Tantra).
Even if I now the theory very well and have advanced on some levels of my beings I feel totally stuck with the emotional.I feel trapped in habitual tendencies and see how I can't really handle a healthy personal relationship with a man.Yes,after corresponding with you these days I realized yesterday so clearly how I get trapped in powerplay.AND how my boyfriend unconsciously manipulated me in a reaction of mine where he then triumphantly expressed:"look how possessive you are ,you never let me do anything.!" And then has the excuse to be possessive with me and contolling in response in the future.I realized he was not at all interested in the "thing "itself but just said he was going to do that activity to stir up a jealous response in me and then be in his right to control me and let's say not let me do something which would create insecurity in him in the future.
And I just fell head over in the trap.I realized how this is our dance in arguments.BUT, I have no clue how to withstand the emotional pain situations like that are stirring up.I don't have this problem with friends or in my job(where I am quite admired and successful),it is just with intimate relationships.I have the feeling of such a pain in the heart which is almost unbearable and frightening and there to this dark place I cannot reach with my spiritual tools at the moment.
So maybe your interpretation goes in the right direction.there is sort of inner conflict going on but I am just as you said becoming aware of that and so it is not completely understandable.There is also a very pushy side in me with a lot of musts and shoulds,It is difficult to slow down.My spirtual teacher with whom I had the dream said in real life that I should just relax and not be so hard on myself and enjoy life more.I also have a lot of phisical symptoms of that inner conflict such as anxiety and digestive problems.It is as if something inside me pushes me and it is difficult to just rest and do nothing.Maybe it is also because i raised four sons alone and in spite of living alone now still have the adrenaline in my system wow that was long.hope not too long or off topic for this website.I enjoy your comments,they really bring some insight but i have sort of take them down to my inner being and not just listen with my head.

Re: terrorists torturing my spiritual teacher

HI Margit

Your welcome and thanks for your feedback, On reading your reply it sounded like that you were in many ways answering your own understanding of the dream, its funny how that happens sometimes, your commented-

"I cannot bring myself to do sitting meditation now(before I did three hours every day)and feel an imperious need to explore my dreams instead of doing the structured techniques I have learnt"

You feel an imperous need to explore your dreams this could be one of the many things that your inner guidance is intimating to you, to listen to your 'pearl of wisdom' and follow this path of understanding yourself through your dreams, This guidance most lightly serves your highest good, You also convey a need to put aside your meditation at least the structured component of your meditation routine, im just wandering here if this is also your guidance coming through that right now you need to take a different approach to understanding yourself 'inner spititual teacher' are they repititious thoughts you have been having of late?' as your current structured meditation techniques no longer are a suitable tool and rather may be hindering you in some way.

Your response here at the thought of making these changes within your life is to come down hard on your self, Maybe torturing yourself with thoughts like "I have to, I should keep up the structure the routine" but these thoughts conflict with your own sense of internal guidance about what is really best for the need to relax more even, to stop trying.

In your reply, you continue to express exactly what it is your inner guidance is telling you, "before i was happy with the rituals now I am more attracted to my own personal symbols" to shut this guidance out and continue with what you think you should be doing is to quash these impulses for change leading you further into your suffering, To continue within this structure is to walk dry in this mental desert and not attend your own inner thirst.

Buddhism is a beautiful path but can be fraught also with pit falls when training the mind in such intense ways, When engaging in such practices as vipassna, one adheres to a particular path to understanding self and when followed intensly for such a lenghthy period of time it is possible to miss the impulses of the souls guidance which may not only want you to take one path, when there are many other colourful and rich paths that one can take. It is my undersatnding that our Soujurn here on earth is to partake in the rich diversity of life, and in doing so grow in our being, Cleansing our emotional bodies, and developing our higher mind, so that the higher Love of the heart can shine in our eyes.

We each have a soul journey to take and navigating the draughts and currents of this sojourn requires to listen within, what may have been the path of one person is not necessarily the right path for another, and is most certainly not the only Path. Meditation can be practiced in many ways and it may be that your guidance is just intimating for you to take a break for now from this particular way you have invested yourself in over the years and try something that is more nourishing to your very essence that allows you to reach deep into your heart and release the pain you 'feel' here. Asking Ones self for dreams and guidance on how to do this can also bring about profound changes when investing ones attention in this way. There are many wonderful healing modalities that can help you on your way, again listening to your own inner guidance may help you here to find the right one, inklings, thoughts about trying one thing in particular though you have never really brought it to your full conscious attention. When setting the cogs into motion to bring about change to our present circumstances, when we can longer live with the emotions that are buried deep with in us, our hearts lead us on to the right path even though it may require making great changes or little changes, all that is demanded of us is to surrender to ones own divine will, and let go of the Overpowering and dominating will of the lower mind.

Best to you
Marce

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Re: terrorists torturing my spiritual teacher

yeah,my dream might reflect that need for inner exploring without going on with the structered former techniques...Also that torturing,yes,you are right that is a part that tortures me pushing me all the time.I will go on posting my dreams, so let's see how things evolve Margit


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