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the spanish princess and my shoes

the husband of the Spanish princess has died and she comes to the community in the mountains where I live(I live on my own now ,but lived there when i was younger).She has come without luggage and needs my shoes or slippers,I get angry becuase nobody asked for my permission ans don't feel like giving them to her.Then I realize she has her own shoes and things.thenks for helping with the dreaM

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 46,spain

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Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

You may feel resentment toward others, or an aspect of yourself, as you feel they have more than you, they have inherited a more priviledged life, yet they still demand that you assist them. They still try to live off of your efforts.

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Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

thanks carlos for giving it a try,but I was meditating on what you said and it seems too evident and it doesn't click for me.i checked with my life situations and can't see a connection. I feel it might mean something else but can't figure it out.Best wishes margit

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 46,spain

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Hi margit

Im just wndring what yur own associations are about the princess and also her husband, with this it may give a more in depth understanding of what your dream is telling you

Marce

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Hi Marce,thanks for checking on the dream.I am quite clueless.However I will give it a try.The Spanish Princess is a journalist,educated woman,independent,goodlooking always able to deal with difficult situations in public and not lose control.She is quite dignified,noble and has on one hand an easy life because she is rich,but on the other a difficult life because of her public duties and private responsibilities.She is not a born princess but married the prince(a bit like lady diana,but she is appears more stern.)When her sister died from suicide I liked her way of being able to express her pain openly but in a very dignified way(very much contained but aware and not negating).She is quite different from me because I am very dramatic and often overreact.I have been also sort of rebel all my life even if with maturity I learned to keep it more in the inside and not be too rough.As a teenie I was that sort of romantic punk rebel who get herself in all kind of troubles...I always have a fscination with the dark earthy side,the yin,the moon and the inner world.So the princess is quite different from me at least apparently.I t must be an inner figure who wants something from me...My shoes,I am not willing to give to her...I rebel...even to the princess.What are the shoes? possiblitity to walk more comfortable,easier...protecting feet.slippers to relax in the house..be able to move arround the house..ok that is what came to my mind.looking forward to your ideas margit

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

ah,the husband.he is born prince.and doesn't intrigue me very much.I see him as quite stiff and not interesting.the princess is the mediator to the people for me.he seems boring and keeping up the tradition.he is the SON of the KING.old obsolete tradition....best wishes margit

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

The Spanish Princess is a journalist,educated woman,independent,goodlooking always able to deal with difficult situations in public and not lose control.She is quite dignified,noble and has on one hand an easy life because she is rich,but on the other a difficult life because of her public duties and private responsibilities.She is not a born princess but married the prince(a bit like lady diana,but she is appears more stern.)When her sister died from suicide I liked her way of being able to express her pain openly but in a very dignified way(very much contained but aware and not negating).She is quite different from me because I am very dramatic and often overreact.I have been also sort of rebel all my life even if with maturity I learned to keep it more in the inside and not be too rough.As a teenie I was that sort of romantic punk rebel who get herself in all kind of troubles...I always have a fscination with the dark earthy side,the yin,the moon and the inner world.So the princess is quite different from me at least apparently.I t must be an inner figure who wants something from me...My shoes,I am not willing to give to her...I rebel...even to the princess.What are the shoes? possiblitity to walk more comfortable,easier...protecting feet.slippers to relax in the house..be able to move arround the house..ok that is what came to my mind.looking forward to your ideas margit
margit

ah,the husband.he is born prince.and doesn't intrigue me very much.I see him as quite stiff and not interesting.the princess is the mediator to the people for me.he seems boring and keeping up the tradition.he is the SON of the KING.old obsolete tradition..

Hi margit

The princess and her husband likley represent some aspect of expression within your self, some feminine that has been bound 'by marriage' to some masculine form of behaviour, keeping up with tradition in some way maybe, in which you have done in the past.

The death of her husband seems to reflect that some change has taken place within in relation to these, stiff forms of behaviour, maybe there was some sense of inflexibility in ones thinking, that has changed in some way, with all the association you have given for the princess I wander if there is something you identify with her more so than anything else, that may show you where ones feminine has in some way been a force behind the action/behavioural side of what her husband reflects.

However the emphasis of the dream is on this change, and whatever you 'see' into the princess this quality has come about in some way placing an expectation on you. Shoes may represent what we wear in the way of our foundational self. Are there expectations you place on yourself, to convey a certain strength, and independance, to be able to stand on your own two feet

its funny how you say your not much like her, she may reflect your more unconscious source of strength or an expectation of her to convey herself to the public eye to be a certain way, even when under intense pressure, If this is the case im wandering here if this quality has been soemthing you also exibit and make demands of in yourself, that does make you angry in response.

This Bite of your energies, that is if you like the princess and her husband, and the princess now without this inner masculine by her side, how was she in the dream the princess, maybe not the associations to her in real life but the associations of her in the dream, the princess may just be indicating a metphor for some 'princess like quality in self' ie getting what she wants, When she came to the mountains she left behind all 'baggage' her past what was it that really made you angry about not having given your permission, whats the underlying feeling to the anger, being undervalued? not acknowledged? what drives this angry response, that is possibly operating at a more unconscious level in your life right now.

Before going on it may be worth just to sit with the dream princess qualitys and her self in the dream and how she was, did she have any emotion, or feeling about her in relation to coming to the mountains, death of husband, taking your shoes, journal it if needs be it may help just to write what comes up.

Hope this helps a little

Best to you marce

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

What I most admire about the princess is when her sister died how she expressed her pain in a contained but not negated way.That is something I would like to learn,be with the emotional pain,not acting it and not negating it.
the quality I most associate is independence(but maybe she has lost that due to her newly adquired responsibilities as a princess?She must have been much more independent before marrying).Maybe she is leaving everything behind by coming to the community and wants to become independent again?
As I was refecting on what you said and what i was so angry about in the dream ,it came up that I get angry when somebody uses my things.I am having some arguments with my boyfriend about the use of our new car.I have to really set limits becuase otherwise he just overpowers me wanting to drive all the time,taking the car with him etc...when in reality I have put the biggest part of money contribution to it becuase it was supposed to be mainly my car(as he in the beginning advocated that he didn't need one and never had one).I just needed a little help of him to buy it,then it became our car and I am afraid that if I don't set limits it will become HIS car.I feel really angry inside of how the thing is developing,but had the dream before the confontation,lets say,which was just yesterday evening.Could the shoes be the car? just so literal? and the princess his majestic male attitude of demanding my things?He makes me feel guilty by saying that I am the most egoistic person he ever met(which is in itslf quite ridiculous).Just to get you an idea,we don't live together and when he comes to my flat he is the one who has the remote control and won't give it to me.He is Spanish,I am German.So maybe the Spanish Princess is that demanding attitude of his side.But that would be maybe too focused on the problem as outside?I have to learn to say "no" and set limits,for me it is much easier to say yes and feel bad inside afterwards.Maybe it is:even if the spanish princess comes and asks me for my shoes I will say NO...Anyway she did quite well without my shoes .She was not the one in the dream who was demanding it were the poeple of the community who sort of wanted to oblige me to give them to her. In reality it was not her fault or her thing.she just came without luggage,but sort of handled the situation quite well after my refusal.(my boyfriend dosn't and is capable of sulking for days which affects me a lot on an emotional level and makes me feel bad as well).I have some friends who after being accused of being an egoist just think ,so what? and live on quite happily but I eat up my brains and put the needs and wants of others before mine and that also drains my health(maybe a conditioning adquired by rasing four sons on my own).I don't know if that all could be connected to the dream but the angry feeling is the same. best wihes looking forward to your ideas.margit

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Hi there
so much comes from reflection! and its interesting that there is some situation happening in your life in that you get angry in a similar fashion as you had done in your dream its very likely there is a link, and I wander what is the feeling that drive this particular way of responding.

It could be that this dream is showing you something in self of how this comes about, The princess energy seems to reflect then your own sense of independance and strength, and the way she expresses herself in how she feels, the underlying feelings for her the princess is in relationship with she is able to hold the space for her feelings and express them appropriatly without the masculine behaviour, and response 'Husband died'.

Remember a debilitated set of feelings in self will often have a masculine componet to it which reflects the behaviour and actions of the individual when experiencing a certain set of feelings. In a previous post using the analogy that a person having strong feelings of abandoment, will react and behave accordingly until the feelings have been acknowledged and healed with compassion. The reaction and behaviour may be to first abandon the person who is triggering the strong feelings of abndonment in self in doing so this form of behaviour helps to protect the individual from these feelings, this behaviour is bound to these feelings in self and until the feelings are healed the behaviour will be one that continues to act itself out. There are any set of reactive responses that may happen and will be reflected by the masculine bound to the feminine. does this make sense?

In your dream then The princess represents the ability to express her feelings in a way that she feels them then acknowledges them for what they are, there is no longer any masculine set of behaviour, that acts in a certain way as a result of feeling a certain way and which is still bound to her.

This is really good imagery, the lack of luggage in coming to the mountains suggest the letting go of the mental/emotional baggage that one carrys around with them in life, It may be that this is something you have experienced recently in being able to express your self as it is, even if you glimpsed this ability once in self your dream could be reflecting that, and it so happens that from your other dreams this is what you have been working towards.

Or it may still be a potential for you a potential in self that you are working towards, that potential exists even if you are not conscious of it yet,

the next part of your dream however shows you where you are stil reacting in your every day feeling thinking self, the anger here you have sensed similary in other current life situations, and im stil wandering if you have really connected to the underlying feeling in self that motivates this anger.

You did mention in your reply why you have been getting angry, but this seems only to divulge the circumstance, and not the underlying feeling that exists in self, your feeling, maybe looking to the dream will put you more in touch with this feeling, the community they are making you feel obliged to do this for her, even though the princess does not have this need.

How do you feel when the community puts these obligations on you, feel it in your physical being, are you feeling being taken advantage of, are they feelings of lonliness, feelings things arnt working out? feelings of inadequacy, feelings of not being able to go it alone if it comes to the crunch.

The shoes im wandering if you are placing expectations on yourself 'obliging the community' to be this certain way to develop your self this way, but with out any regards for you, how your feeling in all of this.

I get the impression that as soon as you connect withthe feeling behind the anger all of this will make more sense for you, that is not to understand the circumstances that are making you angry but the feelings you are experiencing.

Goodluck to you Marce

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

you got it margit. I think that is the answer. Dreaming ahead of the incident just means that a part of you saw it coming.

The spanish prince dying could be a view you had of your friend before which has changed. the spanish princess is a part of you that felt a close connection to him.

take care and good luck

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

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Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Thanks Carlos and Marce for responding.I had a big argument with my boyfirend about the car issue and this triggered a reaction in him as if he all of a sudden has disconnected his soul from me and let me completely devasted and i went thru a night of crying repeating again the old pattern of the little abandonned girl.He said I treat him unfairly and bossing him around organzizing his life and when I left after the argument he went to a hostal not to be with me.As I phoned him later(because the little girl in me didn't have the strenght to just stay with the raw pain and give him the space to phone me maybe the day after.),I only made matters worse and he says he feels suffocated and like in a spider net and needs his freedom.For me it is very easy to adapt to his needs and give "the shoes" but now I feel this anger inside and want to be able also to have my own needs respected.What happens as I understood from listening to him is that I am maybe overdoing it and being too assertive which he perceives as sort of castrating.He said it is NOT a problem of not loving me but of anniquilating him.I live the whole thing from my side that he is not able to commit and that he still needs "to be with the mates".We repeat a pattern his painful need of freedom and space clashes with my painful need of stability and emotional security.I have no clue how to work on that.At the moment he has decided to spend some time separated and he needs some space to make up his mind about the relationship.I suppose that is all acatalyst in a process to work on the abandonment feeling which when it comes up simply knocks me over and makes me fall back in behaviour of a small girl,even when I am quite a successful independent woman.So the anger from the dream is about having to give and not being loved and contained.And maybe the princess quality of being able to express emotion in a contained way is what i lack so desperately and admire in her.Very painful process.And tonight I had another dream where I was unfaithful to my boyfriend and had a short affair with another boy,I didn't see him in the dream,it was just that feeling in the air.And all the community where my boyfriend lives looked at me with disdain and rumored behind my back that the fact that he has left me was what I deserved after that and treated me coldly.that was very painful and nightmarish because it is my spiritual community too where I normally go to meditation sessions.I had no affair nor thought in real life but think the dream is impoartant with what is going on.maybe that helps as a feedback.Best wishes margit

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Hi Margit im really sorry to hear about your realinship trouble but your latest dream does convey more wonderful imagery, that some deeper process is taking part in self some deep shifts and changes are happening and remeber the outer allways follows the inner as we change in ourselves so to will our external environment become more turbulant, until things settle thats how change manifests, we are responsible for that change whether we want it or not, and unfortunaly theres usually painful feelings associated with change,

My sense was that your next dreams would involve being with a new male an unknown male in some way, this is the change thats taking place for you right now, your inner masculine, Going back again to a reply to an earlier post also highlights that when some acknowledgement takes place of your feeling self your behaviour in response to experiencing this feeling self also changes, and is highlighted by being with a new male in some way in your dreams.

The princess is a quality you posses alebeit unconscious and the feminine without baggage you are relating to your feelings now with the same sense of being with them in the way you see the princess expressing them, when all that is 'seen' there is no baggage there is no behavioural response that she has aquired to avoid her feelings, she does not blame, she does not become angry holding others responsible, she just express what is for her, this is the richness of the feminine self being given the freedom to breathe and move through us in its truest sense, hence your psyche is also making an emphasis on the symbolism of a princess, the archtypal feminine its quite beautiful, its as nature intended so to say.

You say though you dont see this quality in your self and lack this, but your dream suggests otherwise, it may be something your unconscious too but you 'do' posses this quality, and from your latest dream it also suggests that you are beginning to form a new relationship with your self, your feeling self your essential day to day self, my guess is that there has been some strengthning when your boyfriend chose to stay away like you say it is a catalyst for you, your normal mode of behaviour in how you react to these painful feelings is to first try to remedy everything 'telephoning him etc' that way you absolve your pain at least temporarily though it is not being dealt with really, and like you say this is also now a catlyst where you have to adjust to this by using another form of behaviouror/action which after trying what hasent worked, youve had to go inwards and relate to yourself, even if this process was unconscious on some level youve had to find a new way to relate to your self, a new form of behaviour , take on a new attitude towards yourself and this situation, This is what the 'new dream male'
is showing you

Does that make sense?, however this new dream male is still vague you know hes there, you can sense this way in self on some level.

This is the cheating positive imagery, though you may not see that yet! The rest of the community frowning on you this is again reflecting your other aspects possibly related to questionng your own actions about maybe overdoing it being to assertive, youve gone back within and turned over the events seeing where this is your fault and how youve contributed to this, these thoughts and feelings towards self here are reflected by the greater community turning their back on 'you' your essential self your needs etc, treating yourself 'coldly' in this way so to say.

If you choose to get to know this new male inself then my guess is it will only strengthen your sense of self and qualify what your needs really are what it is you reaaly want and expect out of a relationship, and how to be selfloving to yourself in the process.

So goodluck to you, a sunrise is allways on the horizon in the darkest hour

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Thanks a lot Marce,your avdise is really helpful and I think I your interpretation is right. I have a question:How can I get to know this new inner male?And how can I work effectively on self love?.I tried several things to love myself more,but don't really know how to bring it about.It all rests on a heady level and the emotional being doesn't go with it.It is as if from the perspective of an intellectual level I of course can see that I am a worthy person but on an emotional level I feel deserted,vulnerable,needy and weak, and not really convinced.
The Spanish princess of my dream and the reflections in this conversation are I think a really blessing and new possibilities.
I decided to try to stay still...on my own and with the emotions,...not phoning him etc.I will take all my courage and thinking of the princess helps.Thanks alot Marce ,you are doing a great job here dedicating your time to bring light.

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

there are a few things you can do to help you with self love.
One thing would be to tell yourself that you love yourself everyday;
2) spend time with people that respect and love you.
3) if you havent done it already, work on individuation.
4) Do some meditation on a daily basis and work on that issue. Paramananda (John Wilson) wrote a great book on this: "A Practical Guide To Buddhist Meditation". If you are not Buddhist, don't worry. John Wilson is a psychiartric social worker and he deals with meditation as a healing art, not a religious art, because he sees the practical purpose to meditation.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

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Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Hi Margit in addition to Carlos sound advice,

You do have this way of being with yourself in a loving way its inherent in each and everyone of us, Inner child work is very healing using guided imagery to go back to your innerchild self, and giving the little girl within who is still arrested in feelings of abandoment, fullfilling her needs in ways that were not met through tender words, encouragment or play.

And as you have been doing it will help to continue connecting to your princess energy within bringing her imagery more consciously into your life choosing to see this as a way of being for you.

Being gentle and kind to oneself, and maybe just working with the sense of the dream male in whatever way seems to be most natural for you,

But what I really feel is that this way will come to you, just asking within to be shown, or to bring love to yourself with true intent will set the wheels in motion for this to unfold in your life,

I hope this helps a little, a lot of the healing work I engage in is with the use of an Angelic oracle, by Ambika wauters, a beautiful little book which holds many messages of love and freedom, just working with these energys brings about powerful and profound changes

Many blessings Marce

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

thanks to both for your advise.It is very helpful.Margit

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Hi,just wanted to give the feed back of a mysterious synchronicy that on saturday a woman friend came to visit me who embodies the qualities of the princess and is giving me a lot of support during this difficult moment strengthening this quality in myself.We have never met before in person as we connected per email thru a friend and had only had long conversations on the phone before. Life is very mysterious

Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

margit,
A quick look at this dream and a thought. Does this fit anywhere?

The Spanish princess is you and the ideal image of a husband has died. The community in the mountains, the community you actually lived in when you were younger. Luggage carries our 'CLOTHES', the persona, personalities. Luggage can also be buedens we carry around with us. She is filling your shoes, she is you. The slippers may be a cognisance of the 'AMOUR' that has been lost. Are you carrying around any unresolved childhood issues?

Gerard

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Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

if she asks you for your shoes, run.

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Re: the spanish princess and my shoes

Hi gerard,any unresolved childhood issues?yes ,My father made me leave home at 15,and it was basically my grandmother who brought me up since the birth of my second sister(one year younger).I travelled around as a teenie,brought myself alot of problems and difficult situations,I always felt this abandonmnet feeling of having no one to back me up.
She is in my shoes?but I don't want to give her my shoes! and she has her own shoes... Yes maybe the old image of husband has died, what do you mean by amour? Maybe you can give me some more ideas about the dream...I stick quite a lot with marce's interpretation but maybe some more of your thoughts open new angles.Best wishes Margit


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