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Dreams - What They Are and Their Function
Dreams are a succession of images, actions and sensations that occur involuntarily in the mind primarily during the REM stage of sleep. Dreams are unbiased, spontaneous products of the unconscious, outside the control of conscious will. The act of dreaming is physical but the contents of dreams is psychological. They are NATURAL expressions of the dreamer's emotional/personal life illustrating experiences that possess strong emotional energies. Although there are literal applications in dreams the primarily language is symbolic, metaphorical of the dreamer's emotional energies.
  • 1. Dreams are about the emotions, emotional energies of the person who is dreaming. They offer advice and a deeper understanding of our waking life as well as the foundations for the emotional energies of the dreamer.

  • 2. The language of dreams is symbolic, but also with literal applications {literal waking experinces}. The symbolic images and actions are metaphors for the patterns or motifs for the dreamer's emotional/psychological/physical life. Every character in a dream is a different aspect of an unacknowledged aspect of the dreamer and/or a prevalent situation in the person's life involving actual persons/experiences {dreams will address both aspects}.

  • 3. The purpose and function of dreams is to guide the conscious self to achieve wholeness and offer a solution to the problems in waking life. Solutions to problems and conflicts from everyday life, as well as the deeper underlying issues, 'emotional injuries' that stem from the foundations of the dreamer {early life experiences and trama experiences in life}.
    ---Dreams attempt to reveal the authentic emotions and feelings that are often concealed from the conscious mind.
    ---Dreams compensate for conscious attitudes and personality traits that are out of balance.

  • 4. Dreams are intentional. Nature provides us with dreams to understand and help heal emotional conflicts/issues. Just as the body has the immune system to heal and protect, the psych{ology} has the dream.

  • 5. Dreams possess 'Archteypal' representations. Archetypes are universal, original patterns and images that derive from the collective unconscious and are the psychic counterpart of instinct. An archetype is an inherited tendency of the human mind to form representations of mythological motifs-representations of the symbolic images/actions without losing their basic emotional pattern. Dreams and mythology share the same archetypal images, myths as illustrations of the universal patterns and dreams as illustrations of personal patterns.

  • 6. All dreams have at least two meanings or applications. One is the symbolic representation, metaphorical of the emotional energies, and the second being a literal application where a person, place or experience is addressing a real life experience. More about this in the Basics of Dream Analysis section at Power of Dreams

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    20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    It would be wonderful if somebody could help me with this dream.

    First, a little background, though. For some reason, probably medication, my previously very intense sexuality has been gone for several years. I am glad! I do not want it! I feel free at last! BUT

    Yesterday it came back. Again, I do not know why.

    Dream:

    I am a piano teacher again. A new student comes. He is a sweet-looking, dark haired man who says he is determined to become a brilliant pianist. He is a beginner, never having played piano before. I take him to be about 21 years of age; but I find myself attracted to him. I worry that, again, I am attracted to a man who is (1) too young for me; (2) helpless.

    At some point both of us need to go to the bathroom; he goes to one in my home, I go to the smaller one, with the shower. These are the bathrooms of my childhood home, which was very unhappy. I used to masturbate in one of them. The bigger one.

    When I come out of my little bathroom, I am in my robe; naked underneath. I was in the process, before we left for the bathrooms, of discussing practicing routines/habits with him. The student after him, a girl about 10 years old, had not showed up, and he was getting a longer lesson.

    I thouht he would have enough to pay me double, but did not ask him to as I was fine about giving him extra time, w hich I often did when I really was teaching. I loved teaching (although I am sort of burnt out now) and did so for over 20 years.

    Well, he was outside the door when I came out in my robe, and told me he loved me "so very much." Turned out that this was "sort of" his second visit for lessons.

    Next scene:

    I am in a park I used to go to with my wonderfully sexually satisfying 3rd H, whom I divorced for reasons of his selfishiness, mental cruelty and finanial abuse. He had been 13 years younger than me.

    Another man comes up to me ans says, "Well, we can say goodbye to one of our problems." I was afraid he meant the young man, who by this time had lain down in the park with me without sex; and had kissed me on the cheek, and whom I would nto allow to kiss me on the mouth because I was fearful of getting "invoved" with him.

    I saw a long train -- at least 20 cars long -- (the young man had told me he was not 21, he was 20)--asked of the other man meant he had left, by train. (I dream of trains a lot; and have a model train which I love.)

    The other man said Yes.

    I was not attracted to the other man, and do not know why he was even in the dream, or what relationship we had.

    By the way, the 20 year old man had told me he worked at the school. I asked him if it was the same school I'd taught at years ago; the one with the horrible principal who beat the kids with a paddle.

    He said he worked at a different school, "I prefer working at............" and was in [something that implied low-level janitorial] I forget the word he used.

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Portland Oregon

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    I think your mind is trying to help you move on and stop trying to fill a void in your life, which began in childhood which has moved you your life style.

    Because you have not appropriately addressed the issue from your childhood, and have indulged in the toxic behavior that has evolved from a lack of fulfilment in your childhood - which admittedly as you say "was not good" - the hurt child in you does not show up for the piano lessons and you continue to engage and fantasize, in a behavior that has evolved from your childhood's toxic environment.

    It is like the person that becomes anorexic because of lack of fulfilment in the vulnerable childhood years. Maybe the child's body image was excessively and abusively dealt with by a parent. The victim, rather than address the issue continues to obsess in the toxic behavior developed from the issue - bad eating habits. This gives the person a momentary sense of fulfilment, but at the same time destroys the individual because it never addresses the true issue at heart for the feelings leading to the eating habit.

    This is what you must address and overcome: the true void leading you toward your behavior.

    Some things we can never get back. SOme time periods of our lives we can never feel fulfilled about, but being aware of them helps us deal with the issue better.

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    Marian,
    Very similar to Carlos' interpretation...

    A possible time of transition marked by personal examination in seeking knowledge of why you engaged in those past relationships, the cause of this intense desire for sex, and the effect of this on past choices in partners and external perception of Self. A psychological need to look past affect to causation brought about by conscious desire to be in charge of or dispose of your desire for sex.

    This may describe putting 2 [2+0=2] and 2 [6+5=11=1+1=2] together. The two’s may be an examination of unconscious’s effect on past physical sex over other equally important aspects in relationships by returning to the awakening of sexual desire at about age 10 or 11. Also may describe a conscious (mis)-perception this intense desire for sex is of organic physical origin rather than of psychological origin. This may lead to attempts to employ conscious discipline to repress or suppress what conscious perceives as a natural biological function. Unconscious content would drive the sex seeking aspect to compulsively seek to sate an insatiable desire to the exclusion of other critical aspects (honor, respect, friendship, etc.) in a relationship. This is attempting to fill an inner void through sex, but can never be filled because in reality a psychological need is present and remains unfulfilled.

    While sex has been a central focus of past relationships unconscious communicates sex is but one of many aspects of individuality and Self. The completeness of a relationship and Self appeals to you with unconscious knowledge this rests in the whole combination of aspect, not a singular aspect. Sex is only one car of the train and is not love.

    Responsiveness may be a clue in the psychological puzzle of causation, or source. A consistent thread in the dream is your dream character, you in the dream, responds as a reaction to being alone. That could be an aversion to being alone, of being gregarious. IF this seems to fit, perhaps examining your life at 10 or 11, about the age of the young girl, for change(s) that altered your general character, disposition, or way of life may help identify the source of feeling alone. While identifying a source will not instantly resolve an issue, it is a step in the progression to resolution.

    Please feel free to respond with your thoughts on the dream and interpretation, even if the interpretation is not close.

    Kind regards,
    Kathy

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 45 Central OH

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    Dear Carlos and Kathy,

    It's a pleasure to receive an email today about your responses to my dream. Thank you so much!

    Kathy wrote:

    "...may describe a conscious (mis)-perception this intense desire for sex is of organic physical origin rather than of psychological origin."

    That also had occurred to me some 25 years ago. I was at a hippie type community conference and somebody put on a discussion, in a tent that held about 20 people, of male-female sexuality. It struck me at that time that if people had satisfying close relationships/friendships, and also touching like the Latinos do all the time, for communication (they touch just to make a point, for instance, as do African Americans, and probably Jews, Italians and other cultures), then the "distorted" or disproportional craving for sex would not happen.

    I've read that men often "confuse sex with affection," since that's the only time they get loving touch. Well, I think I was the same as that - it had not ocurred to me till just now.

    So "how" would I get in touch with this inner part of mself to heal it? Yes, I know -- DEFNITELY Art Therapy. However, I absolutely cannot afford it! And the public h ealth systems do not allow Art Therapists or Jungian trained counselors to use Jungian methods, even if they know how. That's what one of them told m e, hands down.

    Any other suggestions? (I guess I could do art therapy on my own, but I really don't know...)

    Marian

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Portland Oregon

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    know thyself.

    You first must try to change your definition of fulfilment and where and how it is found.

    Come to understand what the void is and why. It helps to first take an honest hard look at yourself. This has to be done dispassionately, fearlessly, honestly and with a true intent on resolving it. It is easier to do if you are not judgemental about what you find out.

    second stay aware of it, and don't let it influence your conscious behavior.

    Its like I said before, somethings you can never get back. Some voids can only be healed but a scar remains. The way to heal is to be mindful of the urge and realize that it is not the way to really feeling whole and fulfilled.

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    Hi, Carlos.

    Just want you to know, I have realized I can't have a relationship with any man. No offense, please.

    I find that "any man who wants a relationship with me, has something wrong with him." I married for the fourth time to a man I trusted, but I gave him "too many chances," and fortunately the marriage did not last long -- as I knew it would not because he had terminal cancer when we had married. But we'd been in a close relationship for two years by then. He yelled at me a lot, and once I had sex with him, h is whole attitude towards me changed, and he became what I'd call emotionally unfaithful to me.

    I also gave my life a hard look, toward the past. I realized that, had it not been for my previously extreme sexual longings, I had always b een happier single.

    Fortunately, for some reason I now am a-sexual. So I am h appily living a life with friends in my building, and friends outside it, too. Life could not be better. I'm even getting along with my family, although there is still a caveat there to be careful, in their case.

    Marian

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Portland Oregon

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    imteresting, I never mentioned a man in my post. Is there a reason you response to my post is about finding a man?
    What word triggered that off?
    I am not being a wise guy, I sincerely mean that with all due respect and a deep seated desire to help.

    answer back. I think this will be interesting.

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    Hi, Carlos,

    I guess I should re-read my own post...but I was just going by the title, and when you said I needed to "know thyself," as it were, I wanted to explain to y ou that I do know myself esp. now that I no longer need "sex" in my life OR a "man" at all.

    See, it's not only that I wanted sex so much, it's also that I felt I needed a man in my life. But, as I just wrote in my previous last post, I no longer have that need. And there are two reasons, I th ink -- one, I am no longer interested in sex, in fact disinterested entiredly. And two, I looked over my life and realized I have been h appier by far, when I had no man in my life.

    The men I've tried to get into good, loving relationsips with, have each and every one done a "changeo" on me, changing from interesting to disinterested, and all have become verbally and emotionally abusive. It matters not that I've gone to plenty of abuse recovery classes, and that I've h ad great therapy for probably 20 years. The more skills I have learned about avoiding abusive men, makes no impact. Well, I won't say "no" impact -- I am b etter at taking care of myself than I once was, beause I don't let the relationships "last" long. But I've had two recent ones that lasted longer than 2 years each, because I could see the good in the men, and realized how wondeerful they "really were," but I could not accept that they also were not wonderful at all. These people CHOSE to be cruel to me. The latest abuse recovery group I've been in is a Christian group. They taught me that men who are abusive KNOW they are, KNOW how to control it because they only treat the woman abusively in certain situations. Some, nice at home, mean in public. Others, mean at home, wonderful in public. I have had both types.

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Portland Oregon

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    Oh, I have a few male friends. I like male energy, so to speak.

    One just called me back because I want to make a Halloween costume for him. I think we are going to make a pumpkin costume for him! He is a super guy, lives in the building next door. He has h ad spina bifida all his life, and is now in a wheeled chair. He told me he used to be on crutches, but now he has to be in a chair because he's in h is sixties and does not have the strength to use the crutches anymore.

    He used to be a counselor. Now he is working in an office, bc it is so hard for disabled people to find work. Isn't that terrible? There is no excuse for not hiring him into another Social Work job. He is so h andsome, so fine, so nice! Everybody loves him! Everywhere we go, and we go to the theatre sometimes, somebody comes up to him and says Hi. I'm the same way -- I know everybody. He doesn't probably know as many as I do b/c he works full time and supports himself. I'm footloose and fancy free, and even when I was teaching Piano and Music, I had lots of time to run around the community at large.

    The other good friend I hae has my computer guru. He's been my sysadmin for 11 years. Super guy -- probably has 180 IQ. He knows everything about everything, and is super interestig to talk to. I used to want to go out with him, but for some reason he does not go out with women, and says he's a recluse. And he is - an emotional recluse. He has lots of friends, and a wonerful family consisting of a sister and others from his primary family, I think. No wife, no kids. He was burned badly by his ex-wife, who was from a different culture, whatever that has to do with anything. She just "was." I think it's great, that he married a woman from a different culture. That had n othing to do with how he "suffered a world o' hurt," as he puts it.

    I do not avoid men -- only intimacy of any sort.

    Marian

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    talk to the girl not the man.

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    Marian,
    Thank you for providing detailed response including personal information. It provides necessary context for dream interpretation.

    For the individual the crux of an issue with past abusive relationships lies not with the abusive partner rather with WHY a person repeatedly engages in relationships with abusive partners. It's a repeating psychological pattern.

    Adult victimization in relationships fails to incorporate and appropriately address a person's own psychological issue as to why they would repeatedly engage in negative and/or harmful behaviour pattern.

    I would not agree that past therapy has brought positive psychological growth if an individual remains unable to 1) engage in a healthy relationship with a non abusive partner and 2) finds psychological 'relief' to not desire sex because the only alternative is harmful behaviour.

    This site is a Jungian psychology do it yourself knowledge base and practice arena for those that can not afford or prefer to do the work on their own. Psychology as well as art therapy can be self taught. It requires discipline and time to acquire knowledge, a true desire for healing/wholemess, and willingness to as Carlos states - seek truth through a hard look deeply into Self without judgement, and in this case talking to the girl.

    An aspect of Jungian psychology is in a sense art therapy. I know nothing about art therapy yet I successfully engage this in my Self work with my creative bliss - photography.

    If you are interested in this journey to wholeness then a good place to start would be with two books - Robert Johnson's The Fisher King & The Handless Maiden and Carl Jung's Man and His Symbols.

    And for the record I am here working through my own psychological issues, so speak from some experience in this area. Two failed past relationships and MY part in those relationships were a catalyst to now seeking understanding, healing,and wholeness. I can only say...progress comes through whispers... sometimes in a clap of thunder. It works.

    Kind regards,
    Kathy

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 45 Central OH

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    Fascinating. Thanks, Kathy. Im sure it does work. After all, that's what Jung did for himself! And he had no tried-and-true path to follow, the one that we now enjoy because of him.

    I'm learning. Thanks for the references, too!

    Marian

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Portland Oregon

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    Whenever I have had childhood dreams or dreams that in some way connect to childhood then they tend to link to the

    personality. They show us examining problkems which have always been there and have stemmed from childhood.

    I often believe that there is a trigger for every dream. Something perhaps that happened the day before that dealks

    with old problems but in some new setting. So think of some new issue which deals with common themes in your life.

    Theissue of sexuality which is evolving in your life perhaps?

    Did you come into conbtact with any males on the day before the dream. Any ones whom you really felt attracted to?

    Maybe you saw someone on tv behaving in the way that you used to.

    You give him a second lesson . That could symbolise how you give extra time and attention to someone. Perhaps you

    have started to relate to men in a different way generally and this theme seems to have evolved just recently. Its

    forming within your mind. Then the next step is to put this into words. First you start to feel slightly

    differently and then you start to generate some new ideas which capture your thoughts on this subject. eg "I noiw

    know I do not really want a relationship with any man. "

    You mention this recluse - Have you been thinking about him just recently. If thats the case then these new

    thoughts could well link to this dream.

    -----------------

    DREAM ESSAY

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36 scarborough

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    Re: 20 year old man falls in love with me, 65

    marian,

    Like yourself I have pretty much decided that relationships are not for me. It is a brave decision, and a noble one too. I think you have changed your definition of fulfillment and the dream is about the residual effects of the past just trying to kick up a storm.

    sometimes urges that we have long held and acted on, have no other outlet, especially when we are well in control of them, and their tension is released in a dream.

    Not allowing the kiss on the mouth indicates that you are not allowing lust into your being; and you are not letting it dictate your life.

    Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42

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