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marriage

I'm going out with a friend(female) to a comedy club or dance club--we ask my mom to go with us-- we are in a semi-cluttered living room-but she tells me she has a date--(in real time my alarm clock goes off and i hit the snooze button--it goes off 3x's (maybe) and i turn the alarm off) i remember being annoyed by the noise of the alarm) i am putting something together with male friend of mine and my mothers--he is a doctor--and ask him to talk to my mom about being careful on her date--the dr then proposes to my mom--he gets down on his knee and pulls out an engagemnt ring out of his white jacket drs coat--as he is putting it on her right middle finger realizes it is the wrong one then moves it over to the ring finger still on the right hand then all of a sudden my mom is on her knee and he is sitting--my mom puts the ring on his left finger and hers is on the right hand then i woke up and i remember saying isn't the ring supposed to be on her left and his right???
when i woke up i didn't know if the alarm was in real life or if it was part of the dream

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 NJ

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: marriage

here again you are reassesing yourself, and the values you inherited from yout mother and her mate and you think they are doing it all wrong. This time you have possibly pinned something down to your mam, and her relationships.
Did you thingk she should have been more careful. I ask this and I don't know if youever dated or was married to one guy througout your childhood.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: marriage

yes she was married to one man--although abusive--he passed away in 03 and she is 71--hasn't dated since and loves being alone--very involved with her church including cooking for 80 ppl every wed night

i was married for 24 yrs now divorced for 5

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 NJ

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: marriage

I meant to say I ask this and I don't know if she ever dated ....

The dream is also saying that there are is a lot of clutter between you. things aren't clear, for you to have a close and open relation with her. this is your perception in the dream, if I am correct.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: marriage

did she date???? while she was married no and not since my dad's death--she was 17 when they married

yes there is some clutter between us--and yes i've written it down in a letter to her--but as of yet haven't given it to her

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 NJ

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: marriage

so it wasnt her choice in men, it was her choice in the man she wanted to be with that you are wquestioning in your dream, as well as the effects it had on you and how you choose your men, or chose them at one time.

Is she far from you that you have to mail her a letter? Or is it that you can't face er when you tell her?
rifts with a mom are difficult. they are better off fixed if possible. No one should miss out on that relationship if they don't have to. semtimes, because we know them so well, and know their errors, it is best to not expect too much from them, but still enjoy the motherly love they can give you; but with great care.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: marriage

no my mom isn't far from me--the big thing with her is that she doesn't accept the part she played and if i or my brothers try to talk to her she cuts us off and gets defensive--that is why the letter--i may never give it to her personally--i did do some chair therapy at Caron when i was there for 5.5 day co-dependency program back in 02
i think some of what is coming up actually has other orgins and is making me look at what i'm doing with my life right now--if this is how i want the rest of life to go
a good friend and past lover past away from liver cancer 2 weeks ago tomorrow--he was a drug and alcohol therapist and high school friend was there for me when i was going thru my divorce--and death of others sometimes has us looking at our own mortality, wants and needs!!!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 NJ

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: marriage

Peggy: I intuitively think that this was a dream of warning about your mother's health. In dreams, our subconscious gives us literal sometimes images to relate to. Your was full of them. The alarm going off several times was for you to become alarmed when your mother develops a health problem and goes to the doctor who "engages her" probably in some therapy or other but the "wrong finger" means he is wrong. She stands up for herself then (when she takes his place in the position) and gives him the ring back onto his wrong finger. So if the situation comes up in the future with your mother going to the doctor - I think I would go with her If I were you.

I hope I am wrong about this, but if I am not, then nothing lost.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 51, Naples FL

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: marriage

Peggy,

I think we all need to separate from our parents at sometime in life and diminish their effects on us. The dream may be trying to tell you that the situation is hopeless and you need to move on to the next and higher level of development despite your mom. We all need to do this at some point in our lives, some more than once.
You have done so much already, so lets take it to the next step.
For a few years I considered seeing my mom in a dream as being negative, because it meant i was weakening in my resolve to forge ahead to a better plane of living and existence, and sure enough it was. you don't need the understanding or resolution with someone in that stage of life. you deserve a good life; you are a worthy person, and you deserve it. the work you are doing for yourself is evidence that you believe this already, just move along and let them catch u if they ever can catch up.

good luck.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes


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