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Car, child and clothing

Those of you who know my situation may be better placed to respond to this dream.

I am driving my car forward out of a domesruc driveway and am just about to pass through the gateposts when my ex's car pulls up in the drive entrance, blocking my exit.

He and his partner are crying, their faces pink/red/blotchy with tears.

I think they are crying as something terrible has happened to my son.

They are stood outside their car and my ex and his partner are stood in front of their car.

My mother then appears in the dream, walking from the left hand side of the 'scene' and seems unaware or at least not acknowledging my presence.
(My mother died in 1999 and this dream is lucid as when she appears, I know that she is dead and think to myself 'why is she here?' and then with bewilderment 'why is she showing HIM pity?' as he is evil incarnate)

The next 'scene' in the dream is inside a house (possibly their house - I do not know.

My son is much younger - as he was when he was 2 years old or possibly younger. (He is 7 in waking life.

My ex places my son on the sofa/couch which is dark brown in colour and the fabric looks like soft velvet/velour. My son looks miserable, old for his age.

My ex starts laying out my sons clothes - appropriate for his age in the dream. Little trousers and tops are placed separately on the seat of the right hand part of the sofa and my son, almost babylike, sits propped on the left hand side of the sofa, looking on, still looking miserable.

I do not understand what is happening or why.

When I wake I feel terrible, as if this is some portent of my son's imminent demise.

As the day goes on I wonder if forgiveness is the issue here, or seeking 'redress', or maybe driving forward, moving forward, as in waking life I always drive into my ex's drive forward and then reverse out looking over my shoulder, but in the dream I am facing forward, not looking back.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, UK

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Car, child and clothing

s,
Since this is a long post, let's look at the dream as it progresses.
You are going forward until your ex gets in your way. This may represent a desire or need to get past {the exit} certain aspects of this relationship. The issue of your son bounds you to him {ex} but other aspects of the relationship is preventing your exit. Does he use your son as an instrument to draw sympathy from you?

The appearance of your deceased mother. Her relationship with your ex may be the reason for her inclusion in the dream, perhaps that being more sympathetic to him. Or it may be she was much more trusting than you and her example is opposite what you feel, or should allow.

Your son, at an younger age but looking older. His clothes {persona}, perhaps represents your idea of his present condition {looking miserable}. At 2 was he living a normal life {before the breakup of the relationship}? But now, either in your mind or in reality he looks miserable. Perhaps from the toll of the breakup and/or continuing negative aspects of your relationship with your ex.

The dream does seem to have an intent of looking back, which is normal at your age. But the desire to move forward is prevented by emotions in regard to the relationship of your ex, his current partner and your son. Whereas you would like to show forgiveness {your mother}, the actions on your ex's part may be preventing that, getting in the way of your exit from these emotions.

Does this fit?

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 57 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Car, child and clothing

Sorry Gerard - but there is no looking back.
My ex uses my son not just as a neutral conduit via which he abuses me - he abuses my son as he perceives this to be his entitlement. He is a psychopath and a paedophile, so let us not mince our words here.

As for my mother - on her deathbed and upon discovering I was pregnant, my mother who was pretty much on her death bed (she died when I was 6 weeks pregant) ,vehemently anti abortion and pro-life, told me to have an abortion as my ex would ruin my life as he had effectively sabotaged my life for the previous 15 months.

I left my ex when I was 4-5 months pregnant as he threatened to kill my unborn child and me with anaethetic muscle relaxant, which, he alleged did not show up at post mortem. That and sickening comments about victims of paedophiles 'wouldnt do it if they didnt want to' and that 'everyone should be allowed what they want to' with regard to child porn. And more abuse of all but two of the ones listed on the Womens Aid list of that which constitutes domestic abuse.

And then, as the police domestic violence officer told me, he followed through with his threats to ruin my life. And, just as the DV officer warned me, the police would do nothing to help as the legal system was corrupt and did nothing to protect innocent victims, but, instead, would victimise them further via forcing contact and not caring a jot when a child made explicit disclosures of abuse. And is that were not bad enough, would then seek to criminalise the innocent mother for protecting her child.

So, no, had my mother lived, she would have put an axe through my ex's head and not 'forgiven' him. Forgive evil psychopaths at your peril. They cannot be negotiated with and will carry on until all in their path is destroyed. Unless something destroys them first.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, UK

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Car, child and clothing

s,
There is no escaping looking back. If it were you could not use past experiences to move forward. But I understand what you mean by not looking back.

From what you have stated in your last post, your dreams are reflective of your current emotional situation. That is to be expected, that is what dreams do. The question is what do you do about the relationship with your ex? If you have continuing dreams about that relationship it suggest there is inner conflicts that need resolution. The conflicts are hurting you, internally and perhaps physically {blood pressure rises, stress}.

Dreams have a personal message for the dreamer. Interpreting that message can only be in assisting the dreamer better understand the dream. I can throw out possibilities but only you can recognize what fits. You seem to have done that quite well with this dream. Have you had dreams recently where you have 'moved on'? Is that what you are planning, your goal? Going forward is often dependent on looking back, seeing what is there and putting everything into perspective. Just by talking about the conflicts in your life is therapy. I would like to think the Dream Forum is good therapy.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 57 Murfreesboro, Tn.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Car, child and clothing

My feelings about the dream are that yes, y ex hsa blocked my progress every step of the way, since 1998, and no , it is not because I 'let him'. The legal system permitted, sanctioned and imposed its will and allowed this to happen to my son.

In the dream, I only become aware that I am exiting my ex;s drive when his car pulls up in front of me. In the past this was to be experted - blocking from him. But I was not reversing out of his drive as I normally do, I was driving forward, not looking back.

The disconcerting element was that my ex and his partner were crying, which for two pathologically callous individuals appears unlikely in waking life.

As for my mother appearing - maybe this is representative of ME, that I have in some way betrayed myself and my son, via the fact that he was abused. Because I was too trusting/let my ex have chances, despite my gut instincts which proved not only to be right, but worse than I could have imagined. I do not see my mothers face, only the back of her walking towatd my ex.

The laying out of clothes brought to mind the thought of a dead person and their 'laying out' which coupled with their crying left me quite upset. At the same time as this concern, I felt as though they were wilfully givig him back to me - but on their terms i.e. a person destroyed/ruined/dead and not a whole and happy one.

My conclusion: I will get my son back, but he is very damaged and its going to take an awful lot of work to make him feel even reasonably ok with his world, if at all. You cannot 'undo' damage like this, due to its severity and longevity, one can only move forward and do the best one can.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, UK

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes


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