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Repost For Embrace

Saddness/Happiness

I had a few dreams last night that were strange, and which woke me up, but I lost the first details since I was still too sleepy to write it.

In my first dream I was back at childhood home #2, but I was the age I am now. I am not sure what I was trying to do, I can't quite remember. But, someone I had spoken to on the phone, a stranger, was going to be coming over, either to get something or bring something.

I expected him to be tough, because he was a former boxer. When I opened the door he was very much shorter than me (I'm 5'3), with a curved back, and broad muscular shoulders, but he was deformed. His legs were like rubber and they were very short, and thin, and just cut off because he had been in an accident during his boxing career. They were triangular, the bottoms of his legs were the points. He had suffered a head injury and as a result his face was so appalling. He had teeth that were rotted, and pimples on his forehead, he was wearing the boxing gloves. His forehead was also large, and going down to his chin, almost in a triangular shape as well. His eyes were very kind though and I let him in and I shook hands with his glove and we boxed, which I rather enjoyed, since I like to box. I had a good time with him and we forgot what he came over for in the first place. I was at first shocked by his appearance, but I got over it quickly. If it's at all important he had a dark skin tone.

In the second dream I was back in high school watching a movie. I wasn't really a student though, it was like we all just got together to hang out. The teacher was one who I had a huge crush on back then, but the rest of the class was all boys who I don't like, the ones that were just mean. I was getting along fine with them though. My mom was also in the class and everyone was talking about my 19 year old sister that wears a diaper. They seemed to be belittling her and so I defended her profusely. I was a bit mad at my mom because she seemed to be encouraging the conversation.

We started to watch a movie, not sure what it was about, but this guy laid his head on me, he is a HUGE guy and we were never friends in HS. I was rubbing his head and trying to calm him down because he was very upset about being raped. I was crying, because I didn't realize he had been raped. I felt much empathy for him for some reason.

My mom was mad at me for letting him lay his head on me, and I told her, hey mom he was raped, ok, let me comfort him. Then he crawled all the way into my lap, and his head was down by my feet, and he was so large he just couldn't fit in my lap and his legs were on the couch next to me. I tried to straighten him up and he said that he was comfortable that way as long as I keep my feet at an angle so he can see the movie.

Another boy was sitting next to me(he was in a desk, I was on a couch), he had been a grade below me in school, and he was telling me that he had a picture of me from the open house and that he was going to throw it out. I was a bit insulted that he didn't want to keep it, or that he didn't offer it to me.

For some reason this dream bothered me because it left me with much saddness and I was very much crying in my sleep. It's also strange that the person who was raped that I was comforting was a boy that I have no feelings for at all(good or bad), I was indifferent to him & I can't think of what he would represent.

There seems to be a part which involved running, but as I can't remember it clearly I'll have to post a response if I can think of it later.


I've also been dreaming a lot lately about different apartments/houses for me to live in. When I go to bed I ask my subconcious to let me know if moving out is the right thing to do and every night I have a dream about me searching for the perfect place to live, and I am always excited and happy in the dream.
I remember now, why I wanted to post in the first place.

Sometime during the second dream, I got into a fight. I beat up a boy for some reason, I remember looking at myself in my dream & being surprised by who I was fighting, because he couldn't possibly represent me or any inner conflict I have in any way. I didn't know why I was fighting him, but I was beating the crap out of him. I was just hitting him again and again and again, and he was trying to fight me back, but I won.


That is also something that struck me, which I woke up from, was that I was fighting in my dreams, which has happened in the past, but this felt different. I felt the raw anger, rage and almost like being out of control. My conscious was aware of the dream, and commenting on it.
Last night I had another dream that took place in this house:

My bf and I were at the house to stay the night for some reason, and then we would be going back to England the next day at 4 in the afternoon.

My mom and step-dad (a different step-dad, I've had two) were at the grocery store when we first got there. We went into the bedroom and laid on the twin bed to watch the TV, and when they got back they sat in chairs and were looking in the room at us from the living room and watching the TV with us. I commented on this thinking it was funny that they were watching our tv instead of their own. There had been a blanket hanging down from the door way (we didn't have doors on our rooms) and they had moved it, and I felt an invasion of privacy. I knew they were watching the TV but I felt as if they were watching us.

My stepdad came into the room and laid down on the bed, his face was close to my feet. I felt very uncomfortable even though I knew I was safe with my bf and my mom there.
My mom told me that my step-dad had offered to change my little sisters diaper for her, the one who is 19. I was so mad. I started to yell at him and tell him he was a pervert and I wanted to kick his teeth in! He hopped up and backed up against the wall, but acted rather nonchalant about it all. My mom realized how angry I was and told me she had just been joking, and that she didn't mean it. I knew she was just saying that to make me feel better and I was pissed. My skin started to peel, it was flaky, and I would pull of big chunks of it, which looked like it had bubbles in it. That was gross. I was appalled by it. My bf was just watching me and helping me to peel off the pieces. I held it up to show my stepdad and he took it and I knew instantly what he was going to do. I begged him not to do it, I begged him not to put it in his mouth but he did anyways. He ate it, and it was like clinging to his lip. My bf and I were completely disgusted by this. He left the room and said he would be waking us up at 4 so we could leave.

That was it, but the dream again bothered me.


I really like the dream interpretations I have been reading around the site. I noticed a lot of people are coming to revelations with theirs, but I feel clueless about mine. I would love to try and interpret other peoples dreams, but I can't even figure out my own. I have no idea what my psyche is trying to tell me. Even with the advice and guidance of my last dreams, I still feel as though I am not getting something, like I am missing the big picture.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Michigan

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: Repost For Embrace

Hi, Posh:

Let's take it one dream at a time, one step at a time, okay.

The adult you visits your childhood home. You are not sure why you are there (but 'you' are going to find out ;) Telephone = communication/information. Stranger = unknown aspect of yourself. To bring something or to get something...

The introduction seems to point to the fact that you are trying to understand various dynamics of your self, and in so doing, your psyche is leading you to where you need to go to unravel things - your childhood. This male character intends to impart some imformation to you which is being symbolically revealed in the dream.

First, I'd like to say that a lot of the exterior toughness we see in folks is often covering up an inner vulnerability/wound - it's a part of the armoring we develop.

Many say that "our vulnerability IS our greatest strength."

I do think The Beauty and the Beast theme is important here - finding that beyond all appearances, beyond all masks worn, beyond all perceptions, beyond all learning to the contrary - we are Love and we are loved.

We'll follow Stephen's line of questioning on this first one, as it is key to understanding.

Think about a boxer, a professional one... What is the image they portray to the world? How about
"Rocky?" Now, think about the street corner bully, who's always 'boxing' everyone. Is he protecting something? How do you think the role of being a boxer serves each of them? Now, think about yourself... What does boxing do for you? Why do you do it? How does it make you feel? Might you have a little of both Rocky and the "tough guy" in you? Or no?

There's no right/wrong answers, just yours, whatever it may be.

Do you think the catalyst for the you who grew to like to box developed in the second home of your childhood? If so, why?

Embrace

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, Overland Park, KS

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Repost For Embrace

Posh, do you mind me asking what line of work you do? Don't mention where you work or the business name, just what it is you do.
Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Repost For Embrace

Kristi,

I did like Stephens line of thinking on that, but the other post was too confusing for me which is why I didn't respond in there. I do box for fun, mostly just with myself. When I was in high school I found a boxing thingy, those things that you hang up and hit, in my garage and I would hit it a lot just for fun. I never did it in a way of being agressive, at least I didn't think I did. I just really enjoyed the feeling of releasing my energy.

I don't box now with anybody, except I do it a lot for fun with my boyfriend. I just box on him and he just stands there and lets me. I pretty much act like a goof about it, and I've always had a desire to take a kick boxing class.

I am in love with Jet Li.

Stephen,

I work in the adult industry as a fetish expert. I run my own website, and delve into light BDSM. I am a "Pro-Domme". I am different than most Pro-Dommes. I do not adorn leather, I do not carry whip. I am gentle and empathetic with my submissives and slaves. I mostly get into body worship, and financial domination.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Michigan

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: Repost For Embrace

Hi Posh,

Thank you for your contributing response.

When there is a dominant archetype in ther house, their attitudes follow along with them. If they don't agree with yours then a conflict arises and a dream ensues. Your occupation would be very Aphrodite and she is the goddess of beauty and love. The sensual part of the feminine. I feel the dream is making a comment on "boxing" according to Aphrodites realm. To her it is ugly. Yet your dream ego sees through the outer shell of an opponent, just like Belle did with the Beast. Did you know that Aphrodite set the whole ball rolling with the Eros & Psyche fable? I read one of the earlier versions of "BATB" early this morning and the themes followed closely where the Prince was turned into the Beast by an evil anchantress (angry Aphrodite) and Belle's encounter with the Beast was as a result of the father, who in his daughter's eyes was very kind (positive father imago). The only sign of a feminine presence is the evil enchantress (negative mother imago) along with her 2 other sisters (who resemble the ugly step-sisters in Cinderella) and her 3 brothers (positive masculine). So Posh, you can see why you can see past the ugliness of the boxer because of the positive masculine influences. I don't know whether this is a reality in your real life. So Aphrodite would be like your inner mother saying to you "Why do you box?" It's so unlady like." "Only boy's box!" The parrallel between the boxing and the "BATB" storyline is that revolves around competing or conflict and that was the initial feeling between Belle and the Beast. But Belle saw past that, just as you do. It's just the Aphrodite energy that doesn't understand. And this is one of the eventualities of working with the unconscious. The conscious learns from the unconscious and the unconscious learns from the conscious. It is easily settled. Just write a letter to Aphrodite explaining why you box. What your ego gets out of it. Try to include as much deatil as you can and try to talk to her on her terms. These energies are past down from generation to generation from thousands of years ago. I think Jung called it "Genetic Memory". Unfortunately they are a bit set in their ways. Just explain it to her and see if another dream pops up in repsonse.

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Repost For Embrace

Stephen,

Thanks for the input.

I don't know much about greek mythology, but I certainly love history and maybe will do some more reading on these Goddesses/Gods.

I do portray a "Goddess" to my submissives. Some other Dommes and some submissives feel that a Domme can not possess certain qualities, which boxing may represent, but it may not be the actual boxing.

Such as the fact that a Domme is supposed to be 100% Dominant and is supposed to always be in control, and she is also supposed to see only the bad in her subs.

I treat my submissives with respect and take the time to get to know them, which has ruffled a few feathers.

I also am very quirky, and behave in a "cute" mannor a lot of the time, rather then bitchy.

I do not fit into the stereotype in other words. I do things my own way, and create my own niche.

Boxing may represent the fact that I also really enjoy what I do, just as I enjoy boxing. It is sometimes thought that for most Pro-Dommes it is just a "job" and is not "enjoyed". While I am very happy with this lifestyle that I have chosen to live.

I have recently been discovering the very feminine side of myself that before was hidden by low self-esteem. I've been doing the things that I truly have always wanted to do but held myself back on.

Thanks for the information.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23 Michigan

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: Repost For Embrace

Hi Posh,

You may not exhibit the traits of the goddess (only if your ego is identified with it). These energies are autonimous (they act under their own accord and energy). All I am saying is that your unconscious Aphrodite energy is making a comment on you "boxing". These archetypes/energies are beyond your control, but you can learn from one another.

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Repost For Embrace

Hi, Posh:

I think it is important to not lost sight of the fact that this dream took you to the home of your childhood - and that you are there to learn something of yourself that was catalysed during that period of your life...

What age range were you when you lived in this second home? Was it there that you lived during your high school years (when you took up boxing)? How would you describe your personality during your highschool years? What drove you? What did you feel deeply about? How would you define the energy that you released into the bag? What was its feeling?

May I make a suggestion? To sit quietly, with a focus/intent to lovingly "connect" with that younger you who began boxing/hitting the bag, and gently ask her (in silent thought) why she liked it? Don't think about it, don't try to come up with an answer in words ... but just allow yourself to be gentle and receptive (open) to softly "feel" her response.

You can give it words later.

Embrace

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, Overland Park, KS

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes


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