hello everybody,
I had a interesting dream last night here goes
I was in my room and i was getting my money reading for lessons and my sister comes in and goes to me
come on you need to hurry up were going to be late.
i reply by showing my money and saying im just getting my money together and she kept pushing it then all of a sudden my sister was in front of me and i felt the tension in me before i did this in the dream i slapped my sister then she says why did you do that?
then i said when i realized what i did i said I'm sorry i didn't mean to hit you I hugged my sister then i said i guess it's just lately mom has been stressing me out and put it out on you I'm sorry.
the end ?
background im trying to get myy independence(license&car)taking test in under a month and thinking of going back to (college 4yr bachelors then 2 yrs masters in syracuse) thing is my mother just lost her husband a couple years ago and her behavior has got 'worse'(guilt trips,manipulation,making me feel obligated cause she took on someone elses kid saying i bet you dissapointed your father cause you were suppose to help me with the kid.
no I have always helped her babysit since i was twelve always had to dance around everyone else(esp.her) I also think she is a narcissist
holding stuff against me even when she offered,waiting till the last minute of something to say a definet yes/fake illnesses,always compares herself i said it's weird cause i should of been seeing my father grow old she replys coldly well my father died when he was 27(i said i understand but forget it shouldn't have mentioned it)
sorry just had to vent.
any advice would greatly appreciated
I hope when i get everything in order i can have a clearer since of things to help out to return the favor.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Hi Kelly,

These are some pretty serious events in your life, especially for your age at the time.

The thing that amazes me is how some people expect their children to act and behave like adults before they hit their teens. It's not fair. Where is the fun in that. Aren't parents suppose to just love, nurture and protect?

Yesterday, I was watching a mother and father Plover (birds) with 3, day old chicks. These chicks have the instincts to start feeding themselves from the get go and they were free to investigate and explore their surroundings (I'm talking acres). The mother and father birds stayed close but not restrictive. They fought off predators, while the chicks pecked the ground. If the danger was too close then the mother would step in make a warning sqwark and the chicks would rush to under her. It was truly marvelous to watch.

The dream, I feel is making a comment on your real life situations and how it realtes to you (your ego). When did you get to have fun? When did you get to explore? When did you get the opportunity to find your legs? As you said "I had to dance around everyone else. It is reminding you of the pressures of the past and how easy it is to think of everyone elses needs, rather than your own. Do you notice the parrallel with getting your independence with your license, to getting your independence with so many obstacles in your path with your family.

If you are getting your license, then get it for you. Don't get it if it is to drive other people around. It's time to think of you for a change. Be a little narcisstic (not a lot). Slap those obligations in the face - the ones that keep on creeping into your head.

Does any of this click with you?

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Hi Stephen
it does click especially the bird story cause i would like that support for me going to college be there but don't be domineering in my life choices for going to college.
i love the plover(birds) story thank you so much for sharing that with me I wish i would have that guidance.
exactly i like the way you interpreted it honestly i never really go to explore. i got to have fun but i had to hound my mother i would find a defiant answer the day of the party of plans and would always hold it over my head over everything.
i feel getting a license/car I will be experiencing my own legs and getting a license right on it's not a favor to anyone else but myself but then again it is cause they don't hav to drive me around but that's only a chip off the 'huge' block I want my freedom lol.
thank you so much stephen I really am so grateful for your help, I try everyday to be balanced in relation to self we all need to be alittle self centered but not too much.
well i will be on again thank you again very helpful.

kelly.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Hi Kelly,
The interpretation worked because you were so generous with your background.

I must tell you, I recently found out that when I was born, my mother was unable to care for me (postpartum depression), so my father pulled my eldest sister out of school and told her to look after me. That was 49 years ago. When I found this out I started crying, profusely. No one had ever mentioned this to me. All I could think of was the sacrifice my sister endured. I am eternally grateful to her.

I am glad the dream has some understanding for you. I wish you well on your driving test.

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

hello stephen,
wow that is an amazing sister you have.
what happen with the post partum depression that she couldn't take care of you if it's not too personal of course i just don't know the symptoms too well.
im sorry you had that happen.


here's another freaky dream thank you so much in advance
i think i can understand but i want another view on it.
it all started when i was in a basement it was dark with little light and there were 2 dogs down there and my roomie(?) was going away for abit so i remember i kept going down to the basement alot the third time the dogs kinda scared me so i decided i would find somewhere else to stay which this was me staying at my school for some reason so i went to find someone and asked them can i stay with you(she lived outside of the school) for abit cause i don't want to be alone I feel scared there.

then she said sure you will pay rent etc.
then the next thing i know im coming up the school stairs going to the hs level and the security guard says go back down your not suppose to be up here before i go down he says something which i can't remember too well but he seemed like he was friendly with me and then i said something(laughed) then left.

then in another part i am walking up to my school and it's night time and there alot of people around then i walk inside i see a police man/security guard(serious ones not hs ones) he just lets me pass by
then i go inside it's really dark and only a few lights are on i go up to a stranger and ask what's going on? they reply you don't know there was shooting here and eleven people were killed in it from our school then we just reflected for a minute.
the next thing i am branching off with a few others to go hide cause we didn't trust that they were not going to come back.
so we go to gym room first contemplate things then decide to hide even more we were in like a back office
or janitorial all lights were off.
were all being very quiet and feeling really scared about the situation.
next thing i know im looking out a window and were at least like 6-maybe 8 stories high
im looking down there's a commotion going on and i see a big buff man holding his arm out and he starts shooting it multiple times and police tries to get him. then i get really scared so i get my phone to my mother the phone keeps ringing she doesn't pick up.
that was my weird dream from last night i startled awake after that felt tense and scared i still feel the feeling of being afraid even though it was just a dream.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Hi Kelly,
I don't know what symptoms my mother had that prevented her from looking after me. No one discussed that aspect and it really wasn't that important.

It took me a while to find connections with your dream. It was a tough one for me, but my thinking function (rational) attached it to your question of going back to college at Syracuse.

The thing to understand is that our environment conditions us (attitudes/beliefs/perceptions) to behave in particular ways and the dream highlights to me that you are surrounded by drama (the hint came from the question you asked about my mother's symptoms). Your family life to date has had a lot of drama and you seem to defend yourself by being aware of it in the first place, so you can take a defensive/offensive position. To me that is what you are conditioned to do. That is how your mother conditioned you. It's not right or wrong, it's just the way it is. There are no accidents.

So, what I think the dream is commenting on, is until you can stop this automatic reaction, your experience in college will be all about the drama of the experience and not about the learning experience (end up being a waste of money). It is time to stop relying on your mother's conditioning to get you through life.

I have had a few dreams myself about 2 dogs. It took me quite4 a while to figure it out. Marie Louise von Franz says that 2 of anything is a sure sign that something is coming up from the unconscious. But it wasn't until i stopped using the word 'two' and replace it with the word 'pair' that the magic of this symbol appeared. It's a pair of dogs and if you say it really quickly over and over again, it sounds like 'paradox'. I've dreamt of 2 ducks and 2 dots as well, which basically does the same thing. The definition of 'paradox' is "A statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is actually true." And this is the land of opposites, where the unconscious and conscious meets.

Does any of this click with you, Kelly?

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

the conditioning is the hard part how do i break that
i do see the offensive/defensive in me alot
how can i overcome her ways that she put on me i don't want her to have such a negative impact mentally.
just to understand more can you give me some examples of the offensive/defences tactics,sayings,reactions, or site link.
oh yeah there's been major drama in my family.
I really want college to be a learning curve not something that is the result of my mothers ways.
how can i work with that? be truely independent.
you think counseling will work? cause im going this summer for it.
thank you so much i like where you say
It is time to stop relying on your mother's conditioning to get you through life.
that saying put a whole new spin on it.

the paradox theory makes sense to me with the dogs
cause(hopefully i get this right hehe) it's my unconscious telling me something?

thank you again so much.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Hi Kelly,
Being aware of the conditioning is a big start. You can catch yourself falling into it. I guess this is where the big fear is. If this conditioning goes, what is left, or what is it replaced by? I guess the answer is 'Life' - yours.

If I was you I would use the college experience as a way of reconditioning yourself. Treat each experience as something totally new and see where it takes you, without the inner dialogue that was bestowed upon you by your family. Sometimes the experieinces will be good and sometimes they will be bad. Sometimes they will be boring and sometimes they will be exciting. But, they will be your experiences. You can decide not to go to college as well and avoid all those experiences as well.

Only you can answer the question about seeking professional help, Kelly.

That reminds me of a joke...

Question: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change to begin with.

Here's to your future, Kelly. Whatever it may bring.

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Hi Kelly,
Being aware of the conditioning is a big start. You can catch yourself falling into it. I guess this is where the big fear is. If this conditioning goes, what is left, or what is it replaced by? I guess the answer is 'Life' - yours.

If I was you I would use the college experience as a way of reconditioning yourself. Treat each experience as something totally new and see where it takes you, without the inner dialogue that was bestowed upon you by your family. Sometimes the experieinces will be good and sometimes they will be bad. Sometimes they will be boring and sometimes they will be exciting. But, they will be your experiences. You can decide not to go to college as well and avoid all those experiences as well.

Only you can answer the question about seeking professional help, Kelly.

That reminds me of a joke...

Question: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change to begin with.

Here's to your future, Kelly. Whatever it may bring.

Stephen

thank you so much i think that sounds like a plan making college as way to recondition the ways put in me and going to counselor will help too.
I am doing some deep thinking reading dance of anger really has opened my eyes to the patterns in my family and how i can work on like you said'recondition' myself.
good joke i like so true lol and i want to change cause im not happy im stressed xDD.

hey this is not my dream but my mother we just had a fire in our house so were out of the house so alot of the house is being redone like she always wanted eventually
well here goes
she told me in simple terms
i had a weird dream last night that
i got my house to be redone and i got it to look really nice she said i really got it to look nice/bigger.
then she said out of no where it got distroyed to the ground all she told me.
can you help me?
is that a peak in her psyche?
i heard a house symbols the person(the self) having the dream from carlos on the board here so im curious.
thank you again.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

HI Kelly,

I have a feeling the deeper meaning of this dream is the cycle of rebirth (renewal) and death. Sort of ike the Phoenix. So as a compensation, the dream is pointing your mother in that direction. Not, as in the literal "life and death", but the psyche's structure. Living a life of activites that are new, continue for a while and then stop. Like recreating herself on a regular basis. If this interpretation rings true than it would probably be a compensation for being in a rut, no change, habitual.

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes