I know this is long but it's really interesting and kinda scary and important that you get back to me about it.


Okay, I know it sounds really weird that I'm dreaming aboout Kurt Cobain and I'm 13, but thats why I asking. And sorry, this is the 1st time I have been on this site so i honestly have no idea what I am doing :P and sorry for all the spelling mistakes and stuff. I'm dead tired and it's 2am.

Well, lately (the past month)I get this weird feeling that I'm bing followed. I know everyone gets that feeling but it's starting to scare me a bit. I feel it constantly. At first I didn't think much of it until I have been expering some strange things that could probaly be explaned but still.

It was february 19th, and me and my mom were driving home from the supermarket. Nirvana's Come as you are song came on the radio. The song brought back memories about me that I don't even know if they happened. It was weird. I never really listened to Nirvana, but of course I heard of them. I went on iTunes and bought the song and started listening to other songs. I watched the Heart-Shaped Box video and it didn't scare as it does most people. I bought other songs by Nirvana that night and couldn't get them out of my head. I feel asleep immeditally after watching the video.

That night I had a scary nightmare about me watching MTV with Kurt Cobain, which at the time I didnt know died or anything about him. Anyway, Kurt started saying how MTV overplays music and stuff and when I turned to see his face, he had a gun against his temple and shot himself. I don't really remember what happened after that, but. That day when I got home from school I did some research on him. I found out that that day was his birthday, and that he died from shooting himself. I was kinda scared. And I might be overreacting but there was a lunar elclipse that day as well, if that has anything to do with it.

About a week went by after that night, when I was just cleaning my room, and my iHome started blaring, I mean full blast, Heart-Shaped Box. I immeditaly ran over to it to turn it off. It wouldnt turn off after maany times of me pressing the button. What scared me the most waas that I wasnt even listening to that song last AT ALL! And I know no one touched my iPod because I was the only one home. It might not mean much, but it was kinda scary how it wouldnt turn off.

But what scared me the most was the dream I had tonight. It is almost 2am right now and I can't sleep. Latly I havntbeen able to sleep until at least 4am since those nights. It's not that I'm scared, it's just my mind won't let me. I'm tired and I'm laying down in the dark but I wont sleep. and if I do sleep I wake up every 45 min. Anyway back to the nightmare I had just now. Today I was able to fall asleep at 10 finally, and I had a very strange nightmare if you can call it that. It all started when I was at my grandma's house before she sold it 9 years ago! I was walking around in the backyard for some reason in the pouring rain. When Kurt walked up to me randomly and said "Geez, it's been awhile since I've been here. Since I died and all." Or sumthing along those lines. I didnt say anything back. He lit up a cigarette and said for me to follow him down this pathway that I have never seen before. We started walking and none of the houses were in view anymore. He brought me to this field of blue butterflies and wheat growing. Strangly there was a crusifix sticking out of the ground. I relized my dream took place where to heartshaped box video was. He started singing a tune I have never heard before. He was singing it slowly and almost like whisper. He said to me after he was done singing, stay here. He ran off to this chuch that seemed to appear out of nowhere. It was huge, brown, and was borded up. It looked very old and people havent been in it for years. He climbed all the way to the top of the church and screamed "EMPATHY!" (I later found out this was part of his suicide letter..."Peace, Love, Empathy, Kurt Cobain" is what he signed it as) and jumped clear off the roof. The closer he got the the ground the more transparent and whitish he got before he just disappeared. I immeditaly woke up. I woke up at 1:30.

Now I can't sleep with these frightning images. I was hoping you could tell me what these could mean, and if its just a quinsidence. It's starting to get worse and worse. For instance everytime I walk to school, I see his image walking across the street. I walk extremly early so its still dark. His image is faded and he is smoking. He is wearing jeans and an oversized trenchcoat. I dont know if I'm just imagining all this or what. And I dont need psychoigocial help at all. Im perfectly fine. Except when I sleep. I might just be extremly paranoid or something. I dont know.

And I usually dont remember my dreams that well if not at all. It's only these dreams I remember. And these are only the major dreams that i have listed. From all the dreams I have he is in at least 2 each week. He may not be very important in it but he is standing in the side scene or walking somewhere. And most of the dreams its raining. And he's always smoking.. I just relized that. There hasnt been dream where he wasnt smoking. Please help me. I'm terrified out of my wit. This is so strange. His death day is coming up to. And it all started on his birthday. I have never expreianced anything like this. Also, my dad seems to be in the side of most of my dreams. My dad past away though from a drug overdose when I was 11. So I find it strange how my dad and kurt cobain are standing on the side frames. And if this has any relation, my mom used to have "psyic" dreams when she was little and they turn out to be right. Is it genetic maybe. Do I contact the dead through my dreams? Or am I just scaring myself? I know this may sound absurd but could he be following me?

I'm so confused. I'm just an average 13 year old girl. I'm not emo or goth or anything like that at all. I never have suicide thoughts or am I obsessed with ghosts and dead rockstars :P

I'm going to try to go back to sleep. Please reply. Im begging you.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 13 Columbus OH

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Darby,
Your first time posting at the forum must be complimented. Your added info provides valuable insights to the possible message in your dream. If everyone would provide such info it would help tremendously in interpreting dreams.

The feeling you have had of recent that some is following you may indicate unconscious feelings of something in your past that is 'following' you, some past experience {The song brought back memories about me that I don't even know if they happened}. Often it is some type of stimulus, such as hearing a particular song, that brings back these lost memories. This could be the case in your life. Add to that you are unable to sleep and the frightened feelings, that may add to te above possibilities.
Let's see what the dream has to say.

""It all started when I was at my grandma's house before she sold it 9 years ago!". That would have made you 4 years old at the time. The backyard may symbolize things in the back of your unconscious mind {something forgotten or repressed}. Pouring rain often represents the pouring of emotions. The inclusion of Kurt in your dream may symbolize shared emotions {his emotions before he died and yours at the age of 4}. That may be the stimulus that ties the two of you together and why he is in your dreams {and the co-incidences in your waking life which I will address later}.

The constant inclusion of his smoking a cigarette may be important. Smoking may indicate trying to shield yourself from your emotions. Cigarettes may lead to self destruction. This may be a warming of implied illness within the body {psychological} illness}. The 'EMPATHY' may represent understanding and entering into another's feelings.
End of dream.

The dark images you 'see'. These may be represent unconscious dark images from the past. What I am getting to is past experiences in your early childhood {age 4} that may have been repressed. Your grandma's house may indicate a relationship to those experiences. Dreams often reveal forgotten or repressed memories. It is unusual for someone your age to have such dreams {they normally would occur much later in life}. There are two reasons I see that may cause you to have such dreams now.
1. The past experiences were so traumatic they need attention now
2. Psychic abilities {you mentioned your mother's psychic abilities} you possess. These would be as much as intuitive as psychic {one supports the other}. The fact that you see certain dark images in your waking life as well as in your dreams may point to this possibility.

So the question becomes, are there any emotional experiences when you were very young that may have been forgotten or repressed? Look at the grandmother's house and see if that brings up any memories. These memories could be as traumatic as physical or psychological abuse. Or they could be merely addressing something that frightened you so bad that they remain in your unconscious. The later may be the best explanation.

As for the co-incidences I mentioned above. They may represent what Carl Jung called Synchronicities, people, places or events that your soul attracts into your life - for one reason or another {I had such an experience when I first started studying Jungian psyche}. Read the link I provided to get an understanding of this phenomena.

Let me know what you come up with after reading my interpretation and statements. Ask your mom to help you remember possible past experiences that may be at the core of these dreams and waking experiences. This is an usual dream that may point to something important. Or something that so traumatized you that it needs sorting out {something that so frightened you, other than some kind of abuse, that it left an impression that could cause emotional pain later if not addressed}.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn. {Nashville}

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Hi Darby,

I'm sorry for you, that you are having a tough time of it, of late.

I think you should talk about your recent dreams, how you feel about them and what effect they are having on your sleep, to your parents. They know you much better than I do. You are only 13 and not really the best judge of what you need right now.

Just as an aside - dreams are never literal. They are always symbolic. So never take anything you see in a dream, literally.

Talk to your parents, Darby.

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

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Also Darby, talk to your parents about what has been happening at school, the good stuff and the bad stuff. Maybe there is a peer pressure thing happening and you are unsure of how to deal with it. The key to all this is your parents. Ignore them and you run the risk of going down a slippery slope.

Stephen

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 49 Sydney Australia

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Darby,
Stephen of course is right. If there are those fears developed earlier in life I spoke of, they are most likely affecting your present emotional state of being. And if there are such emotional fears that need addressing then seeking council is imperative. Parents if possible. It may seem minor but such experiences need an older mind to help sort out. Finding the underlying causes is important. But first seek advice on your nightmares and fears.

We must remember your age.

You may have inherited some of your mother's 'psychic abilities {I tend to think of them as psyche abilities- a natural {nature} aspect, inherent in us all}. Such abilities are related to intuition. Psyche {Greek for soul} is intuitive knowledge, often referred in mythology as secret knowledge. It is centered in the feminine aspect. Reading mythology {which includes fairytales} may be something that will interest you.

Your narrative is written as if by a more mature person. The grammar, the structure, the thought process in detailing the dream. You must be good with grammar in school {I was better at grammar than literature}. Impressive for a 13 year old. That may be due to the inherent 'psychic' within you. You should talk to your mother about her talents. And take an interest in learning more about dreams. Dreams are true 'psyche' events.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn. {Nashville}

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Darby =]

maybe Kurt wants to talk to you, since he's in almost all of your dreams. Next time you go to sleep focus on talking to him. Ask him what's going on. ask him if he's trying to tell you something....

everything seems relevant

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