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red bird and fence of books

I suppose a short clip of my life should make this dream fairly easy to interpret, yet I am somewhat unsure of the total meaning.
I lost my sister when we were both very young, and my brother ( who was the only person i ever felt connected to or close to or loved by)when we were both 25ish.
I have lived most of my life between New mexico, and Dallas. I am presently in New mexico but trying to return to Dallas.
I am in a committed realionship, but feel very insignificant, and unwanted in it. We have spent 2 solid years discussing the issues, but nothing changes, and i still feel the way I feel.We have fidelity issues( he has a LONG history of that in all his previous relationships, including this one), sex issues, money issues,and the list goes on. This realationship is cleary about him and his kids, and i and mine are not considered or respected. I know I can stay or go , but I cannot change it. Both of our 25 year old sons moved back home in Nov( argh! yup, that added to our already strained relationship)my son was asked to leave for verbally defending me( in DEC).We are not "allowed" tohelp him or talk about him. HA!But I can feed and clean up after his. WRONG. His son is still here and controlling him and me , AND our finances, which I now am not involved with, as his son says it should be that way. HE is involved in OUR finances.i was putting 4000 a month in the bank for us .I no longer have access to the bank account either. Though MY money was going in it also.Now I am at his mercy so to speak. I did not work for 3 months, so now I have nothing...our money stopped. It is all his now. And yeah, I don't like it.

My dream begins with a flash of seeing my brother in the casket at his funeral( I've not ever had that happen), it then goes to my being in a new house( new to me) in Dallas, bright, open airy...the way i like.It was situated in a BOX of houses, not a block, but a box on a lot. The house has 2 bedrooms, 2 baths 2 living areas, one is 2 steps below the other. In that lower den I am taking a small feather from several different birds, because they are so beautiful.Then from a big red bird I try to take one wing feather but Accidentily pull off half it's wing. My thought in the dream was "oh my God, I don't know if this bird is dead or alive, but now he will never fly again". I felt very bad . I then looked across the courtyard if you will, to another house and saw my best friends old car.( my best friend is a gay male,we have been friends for 20 years)I was thinking , in my dream, how cool would it be if we were neighbors.Then he drove up in his new car( which he really does have), and I was so excited. we then walked out the back sliding glass door, to a beautiful green grassy backyard with pretty little flowers, etc. but it was his backyard.There was an eight ft tall wooden fence around the entire yard, but the inside of the fence is like solid bookshelves full of old books, masterpieces, academics, poetry.it did not seem strange in the dream. And I told him how much I liked what he had done. I was thinking then that that must be what he did with his mothers things after she died (2years ago)Then I woke up.
this really sounds so simple for a dream, but why I can't get it, or forget it puzzles me.
Please point out the obvious!!!!I have a good idea but open to insight!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 47 nm

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: red bird and fence of books

In re reading my dream it occurs to me that this relationship has been 4 years but we have lived together for 2 years. The number 2 appears frequently. I just saw that.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 47 nm

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no


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