Another Anthony Dream! It's true they don't come as fast and furious as before this argument, but I still dream about him quite consistently. It seems there is a little evolution in it from the last dream--towards disentanglement and resolution. Do you agree?

I dream I am in a large studio apartment. You walk in the door and immediately to your left is a kitchen. You can walk past the kitchen and come to a little hallway that leads to the large room, or you can cut through the kitchen. The large room has a bed in it, and it borders on the bathroom. There is no separating wall between bathroom and large room. It has a European style shower, meaning there is no separate shower stall, just a shower head and a drain in the middle of the floor.

Anthony has been staying here. I think we’ve been sharing it, in fact, but for right now he’s gone and I’m there that night. I start by taking a shower, but aim the shower head into the living space, so that it hits right next to the bed. I start to take a shower, but realize I’m leaving a water spot on the rug—not a big one in relationship to how much water is coming out. It’s a strong spray of water. But I’m having fun and don’t mind much. But I realize it's irresponsible, so I move the nozzle back into the bathroom, and continue the shower. I’ve wet my hair to wash it. But for some reason, I stop the shower, put on a robe and wrap my hair in a towel and climb into bed which, for reasons unknown, suddenly is now in the bathroom. It’s as if these two rooms simply cannot be separated!

Just then Anthony enters the apartment. I pretend I’m asleep but see him walking around, looking at me. He comes to the bed and he’s looking around the bed. I say, “What are you looking for?” He tells me he left his aftershave there, or he thinks he has. He comes over to where I’m lying on the bed and leans over to kiss me. I wrap my left arm around his back and we kiss very chastely upon the lips. There is room between us. It feels a bit of a relief, as if something complicated and difficult is clearing up between us. The towel falls off my head and my hair is a wet, knotted mess. I say, “Oh, I look awful!” I'm saying it just a bit flirtatiously, the way a woman does when fishing for a compliment or reassurance. He says, “No, you look just lovely.”

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 51 Chicago

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Hi Rose,

Can you tell me a bit about what you do during your days (besides reiki), how you interact with others? How you act, your persona. What sort of work you do (no names). What type of person are you?

I have a sense I know what the dream is commening on, but I need it confirmed by your thoughts on who you are?

Stephen

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Hmmm...well, that's a tough question. I don't know if a "day in the life" will help, but here goes...I usually get up between 4:30am-5am, shower, dress, feed the cat, yoga, meditate, bike to mass, come home, breakfast with my husband and we pray together most mornings. After that each day commences a little differently. Usually mornings are most people's "evenings," since John and I are both self employed and tend to see people in the afternoon/evenings. So mornings I might be doing domestic stuff, chores, etc during the week, and I try to do my writing in the morning as well (I write for a local magazine). I usually only see 2-3 people a day, so afternoon/evenings are a combination of seeing clients/office work/writing. I have some social stuff I do during the week. I have a Bible study I attend weekly, a book club monthly, friends I grab lunch with or go see a play with occassionally. I play the alto recorder, and both John and I are involved in the music ministry at our parish. John and I hang out on weekends. We like movies, playing games and music together, reading together, biking together, just hanging out generally.

I'd say my persona, to borrow from a few personality tests is INFJ or P, I forget--it's supposed to be the rarest type, as I recall. I do like a lot of order and structure in my routine. According to the Enneagram, I'm a Four in a big way. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, I'm a Metal, which means I deal with issue of grief vs. acceptance, and am working towards a state of awe and reverence. My humor is "egg head." If that helps.

So do tell what you're thinking, Stephen. Your insights are so helpful!

Blessings,
Rose

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Hi Rose,

Well, here is my line of thought, for what it is worth.

The scene in the dream where the bed seemed to move from one part of the room to the other reminded my of the movie "The Exorcist" and this led to the thought of posession. Being posessed. But in the theory of analytical psychology ther only form of posession for a woman is the Animus Posession, which is defined as: Since the unindividuated woman has not consciously developed any of her symbolically masculine qualities (e.g. logic, leadership, need for independence), her personality is apt to be taken over or "possessed" by these qualities at times, so that she appears opinionated, argumentative, or domineering to others, though she will not think of herself that way. In the words of Jung, "Just as the anima of a man consists of inferior relatedness, full of affect, so the animus of woman consists of inferior judgments, or better, opinions." Alchemical Studies: The Secret of the Golden Flower (CW 13, par.60).

It works in quite well with the shower scene - to cleanse oneself.

Where the Fr Anthony personification enters the room as is only concerned with aftershave, gives me a feeling of ambivalence - having two opposing feelings occuring at the same time.

How does that sound?

Stephen

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Hi Rose,

Almost forgot. When I was walking the dog this morning I had my MP3 player going through an ABBA playlist I put together and this song happened which made me instantly think of you and the dream you had. Here are the lyrics for "My Love, My Life"

I've seen it on your face
Tells me more than any worn-out old phrase
So now we'll go separate ways
Never again we two
Never again, nothing I can do
Like an image passing by, my love, my life
In the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life
I can see it all so clearly
(See it all so clearly)
Answer me sincerely
(Answer me sincerely)
Was it a dream, a lie?
Like reflections of your mind, my love, my life
Are the words you try to find, my love, my life
But I know I don't possess you
So go away, God bless you
You are still my love and my life
Still my one and only
I've watched you look away
Tell me is it really so hard to say?
Oh, this has been my longest day
Sitting here close to you
Knowing that maybe tonight we're through
Like an image passing by, my love, my life
In the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life
I can see it all so clearly
(See it all so clearly)
Answer me sincerely
(Answer me sincerely)
Was it a dream, a lie?
Like reflections of your mind, my love, my life
Are the words you try to find, my love, my life
But I know I don't possess you
So go away, God bless you
You are still my love and my life
Yes I know I don't possess you
So go away, God bless you
You are still my love and my life
Still my one and only

I think there is a YouTube version of Abba playing it if you want to give it a listen. I think this is your solution to the Animus Posession.

Stephen

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Hi Stephen,

It does make sense. The Abba song is very fitting.

I'll go give that song a listen. I don't think I've heard it before.

Blessings,
Rose

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Stephen,

A few follow up questions/thoughts.

It seems a little harsh to say an animus possession means a woman has not developed ANY animus. I don't see how a woman could get out of bed in the morning without having developed some animus (and vice versa for men), so could you elaborate on that point for me?

Also, I didn't quite get your leap in saying the shower fit in nicely. Did you mean I'm trying to cleanse myself of the possession by taking the shower?

Thirdly, could Anthony have also had an "anima possession" triggered by me that was playing out at the same time?

And lastly, could one say these "possessions" are what some would call the "falling in love" stage of a relationship?

Blessings,
Rose

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Hi Rose,

I have tried to answer your questions as follows,

Q. It seems a little harsh to say an animus possession means a woman has not developed ANY animus. I don't see how a woman could get out of bed in the morning without having developed some animus (and vice versa for men), so could you elaborate on that point for me?

A. It was Jung's definition of Animus Posession, so you would have to ask him, if he was still alive. From what I understand, to develope the Animus is to consciously assimilate the Animus qualities that are residing in your unconscious. That means if a situation arises where a conflict occurs, for example a woman would consciously be assertive (rather than passive) and not unconsciously be assertive.

Q. Also, I didn't quite get your leap in saying the shower fit in nicely. Did you mean I'm trying to cleanse myself of the possession by taking the shower?

A. Yes, that is what I meant. A ritual cleansing to eradicate the posession.

Q. Thirdly, could Anthony have also had an "anima possession" triggered by me that was playing out at the same time?
My feeling is that it has more to do with personality types. With you being an INFJ it may well be that Fr Anthony is an INFP (its description fits quite well with his vocation). Maybe your Animus is more about Perception and you are too one sided with Judgement. The whole thing is a compensation.

A. And lastly, could one say these "possessions" are what some would call the "falling in love" stage of a relationship?
No. According to James Hollis, "Falling in love" is technically a projection, which wears out over time. That is when a new kind of love emerges. A real love. That of not wanting. With a projection you cast the shadow onto another person. With a posession it effects the person with the Animus Posession.

Stephen

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Hmmm. Very interesting.

And last but not least...until I think of something else...

When you mentioned you wanted to know more about my personality before putting out your thoughts, can you tell me what you thought you were looking for? I'm picking up on your answer regarding the undeveloped animus being exemplified in the woman who is consciously assertive vs. unconsciously assertive. Were you hunching I have a passive personality style? In fact, I think I'm pretty good at asserting myself and so forth...BUT it is also true I always found it very challenging to just "be myself" around Anthony. It almost seems like a force field envelopes me when I'm around him that I have to consciously fight. So it seems this relationship taps into a part of me that goes very "yin," if that makes sense.

Also, is it possible to be in love AND have one of these possessions going on? I keep harping on this because it is so clear that both of us have very strong feelings for each other, and are very attracted to each other. As regards that, I'm not sure I fully understood your answer to my last question regarding the possibility Anthony was having an experience of possession also. Do people mistake "possessions" as being in love? If he's not experiencing a "possession" would you say then that he IS in love, but I'm possessed?

Sorry...it's just that there are a LOT of emotions tangled up in all this, and I'm trying to sort it all out. By the way, are you familiar with the concept of quantum physics theory entanglement as applied to relationships? I have always explained this experience with Anthony as one of entanglement--our minds being so enmeshed we experience each other's lives, much the way a husband and wife can finish each other's thoughts, or twins know when their twin is in pain, etc. On that note, where do precognitive dreams figure in to Jung's theories on possession, or in dream theory in general? I bring that up because a handful of dreams I've had of Anthony have been precognitive.

BTW I'm going to an introductory workshop on Jung this Wednesday.

Blessings,
Rose

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HI Rose,
I was only using assertiveness as an example. There are many masculine attributes that consist of the "other: in a woman. I don't have any idea whether you are passive or assertive. All I do know is that when I asked you to describe who you are, your really described what you do.

Can a person confuse posession with being in love? Interesting question...I doubt it. Posession is unconscious. You have no idea that it is happening. For Fr Anthony to be posessed by the Anima he would need to exhibit more affect, more passivity. Nothing really to do with love. I really have no idea if Fr Anthony is in love. You would have to ask him. I'm only referring to the dream you had.

Your referenced to finishing one another's sentences is also called "participation mystique", which is also a form of magical projection. Maybe the question on precognition should be asked at the Jung seminar you are attending. From what I have read Jung said that in his experience very, very few dreams were of this nature.

I tend to look at statements that are made out of context and you question on quantum physics drew my attention. Here you are trying to explain the subtleties of love into a scientific theorum and you are wondering if you are posessed by the Animus!!!

Stephen

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Hi Stephen,

Just musing out loud, really. So much of this is mystery that we try so hard to explain when no explanation can fully do our human experience justice. It can only help us to weather it more effectively, and lend it greater meaning.

That is very interesting what you say about possession being an unconscious experience. I suppose making it more conscious is what helps to loosen its hold? And it certainly makes sense to me that several things can be happening at once...being in love and being possessed and being entangled: they aren't necessarily mutually exclusive events.

Yes, I will ask about precognitive dreams at the workshop. Good idea!

Blessings and thanks so much for your help. I appreciate your support.

Rose

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