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men and jewelry

I have some ideas about what this dream symbolizes, but I want to get your perspective before I post my take on it.

I'm with my fiance and I get a call that I need to go see my dad. My fiance and I go to this restaurant and sit across from a man that is supposed to be my father. My dad's friend is telling me that my dad is very upset and has been talking very strange lately. I ask my dad what is going on, and he tells me that God told him he would go completely blind in 40 days. He wants to see the world before he goes completely blind. I laugh and tell him that the movie Forty Days and Forty Nights has been on tv a lot lately, and he was probably dreaming. He must have fallen asleep with the tv on. Both of his eyes are very light blue and glassy. His left eye is matted over and it looks like maybe he has glaucoma or something. I'm acting very aloof. I really don't want to be there, but I don't want people to think I'm a bad daughter. I say things to comfort him, but I'm talking loud enough for everyone in the room to hear me. I want people to know that he is ridiculous. My fiance and I decide to take him for a walk. My dad's shoes are on a stand on the wall. Apparently, in this restaurant, you are supposed to take your shoes off when you go in. I walk over to get his shoes to put them on for him, but when I turn around, he and his friend are sitting on a bench and they have both fallen asleep. My dad's friend is sitting next to the wall, and his head is leaning on the wall. My dad's head is leaned against his friend's shoulder. My dad's nose is running, so I grab a tissue to clean it. I can't get everything because he's not awake to blow on the tissue. It is really grossing me out, but I don't want to leave him like that.

An older male shows up and he is outside the restaurant and the door is open. He asks me to go for a walk, and although he is only talking to me, I assume my fiance will go, too. But, he can't get his shoes on quick enough and tells me to go by myself. I walk out and ask him to please clean my dad's nose.

I'm alone on the street with this man, and he tries to kiss me. I kick at him and push him away. I feel very invaded, but not angry. He keeps trying, but I'm always able to push him off. We walk around a corner, and he takes a jewelry box out of his pocket. I think it's going to be an engagement ring, and turn to run away. But, he pulls a necklace out of the box, so I am relieved and stay. He hands me the box and the price tag is still attached. He acts like the cost of the necklace is supposed to impress me, but I think that he paid way too much for it. The diamonds are very small and it is really ugly. I think that my fiance got a much better deal for my engagement ring, and the diamond is 30X bigger than all the diamonds in this necklace put together. I try to give it back to the man and tell him I can't accept this. He seems satisfied because he thinks I am referring to the cost of the necklace, and tells me he bought it for me and wants me to wear it. I think I will wear it for a little while just to be polite. I wish that my fiance had came along because he would be kicking this man's butt right now, but I don't want him to find out what happened on the walk. I don't want him to know the man tried to kiss me.

Then, I'm back at the restaurant and my best friend is there. We decide to go to the store. I kiss my fiance and tell him I won't be gone long. I drive to the store. The necklace the man had given me is now a huge clunky thing on my neck and it is embarrassing to wear it, but I think it will be rude to take it off. We park and as we are walking to the store, I see a woman who is supposed to be my dad's wife. It is apparent she works for the store. I hope that she won't notice me, but she sees me and I can tell she recognises me. When we pass her, she says, "Welcome to Walmart." It sounds like gibberish, like maybe she had a stroke or something. I laugh and ask my friend if she could understand what the woman said. She said no. My friend doesn't know that the woman is my dad's wife.

We walk into the small department store. It is like a smaller version of a Walmart or Kmart. I go straight to the jewelry counter. The woman behind the counter seems very impressed with the jewelry I have on and very eager to help me. I feel a sense of superiority to her. I ask to see the engagement rings, and she brings out two and tells me they are the nicest in the store. One is very plain. It is a lot like my engagement ring, but the stone is very small. The other is shaped like a flower with a small diamond chip on each leaf. I don't like either one, and when I see how expensive they are, I think that's outrageous. These rings are ugly and small and my fiance paid a lot less for mine and I like it better than either one of these. My diamond is a lot bigger than the stones in these rings.

The next thing I know my fiance and I are in our bedroom watching tv. We have two dogs that don't get along and have to always be separated. One of the dogs is on the bed with us and the other is whining to get into the room. I get off the bed because I'm going to go in the living room with her so she will stop whining. Before I can get up, my fiance has let her into the room. She jumps on the bed and the two dogs start to fight. I pull them apart and ask him if he's crazy. He is laughing and tells me it's no big deal. I tell him it is a huge deal, the dogs could have killed each other. He just shrugs it off. That's when I woke up.

In real life, I have no relationship with my father. My mother raised me by myself. I've never even had a conversation with the man.

We really do have two female American Pit Bull Terriers that cannot be around each other. We have to keep them separated at all times because even though they are the best dogs in every other way, they hate other dogs.

I really do love my engagement ring, but I would have said yes if he had proposed with a bread tie. I am not at all materialistic.

In the dream, I was a little stuck up. I am not like that at all.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Kentucky

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Re: men and jewelry

Betty,
I haven't forgotten your dream post. I have a newly built computer and am having to reshape its mentality so to fit with my own. Of course computers can often do there own thing and that sometimes gets in the way of accomplishing tasks such as giving a good interpretation without having to start over again because the computer erases what I try to present. It may be in the morning before I work it all out but I will definitely give my impressions of your dream. Hopefully it will verify your thoughts. It is the dreamer who knows best and if I can match your impressions then the chances of getting it right are twice as good.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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Re: men and jewelry

Thanks. I can't wait to hear what you think about it.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Kentucky

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Re: men and jewelry

Hey Betty, just wanted to say thank you for sharing your dream.I was gonna leave you my opinion but I have a question? You said in real life you have no relationship with your father?
Is that mean you never met your dad? Or he was just never around?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28yrs old - las vegas, nevada

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Re: men and jewelry

Betty,

It seems this dream is addressing the relationship, or non-relationship, either with your father, about your own inner masculine aspects, or your real fiancé. Perhaps there are qualities your real fiancé possesses, or a fear of his possessing, the dream is also trying to address. I'll attempt to address all aspects as they present themselves in the dream to determine which is in the forefront of your emotions.
The first chore will be to understand what 'fiancé' represents in your dream. Is it about your real fiancé, an unconscious desire for a long term relationship with your father or inner qualities of your own psyche, or all three {a real possibility}?
The fact that your fiancé is so prominently a part of the dream may suggest the subject may be about 'major commitments'.
Other possible symbolism of fiancé which may apply are:
A desire for a lasting relationship
Indecision


The dream {he was probably dreaming} may be the unconscious desire for such a relationship even though consciously it isn't something that you entertain as doing. Having had a similar experience with my father {he was never present in my life and it sever consequences on my personality and decision making} I understand how the unconscious can approach such desires.

I always look at numbers in dreams as being significant in there metaphorical meaning. 40 may have waking conscious meaning. The number 4 in Jungian psyche is representative of wholeness and balance. That could fit all three aspects. Which in your mind is more important at this juncture in your life? The desire may be to find that balance and wholeness in a long lasting relationship, something that was lacking in the relationship with your father.

There does seem to be a problem of 'seeing' in the dream. That may be addressing perceptions of one or more of the 3 aspects. The bad daughter may be getting to the unconscious roots of the father relationship.

Your dad shoes and the walk with your fiancé. And the 'My dad's shoes are on a stand on the wall'. That may be addressing the perceptions of your fiancé, comparing them to your father. Is there reason to believe he possesses certain qualities that your father possess? That would be a norm in choosing relationships, often we make such choices based on early childhood imprinting {unconsciously choosing a mate who possesses qualities of a parent}. Are there such fears?

An older male shows up and he is outside the restaurant and the door is open. He asks me to go for a walk, and although he is only talking to me, I assume my fiance will go, too.
This seems to be making a comparison. It seems a pattern is emerging in the dream, one that may be of perceptions of inner fears associated with the qualities of your father, and perhaps being projected onto your fiancé. This could also be saying something about your inner masculine qualities, whether to 'trust' them or not {if they were feminine qualities such as intuition I would say, definitely trust them}.

I'm alone on the street with this man, and he tries to kiss me. I kick at him and push him away. Can this apply in any way with your fiancé? Or is a commentary on the relationship with your father?
I feel very invaded. I sense this is an unconscious invasion, perhaps again of perception. Are you consciously, or unconsciously, applying this to your fiancé? There may be a 'price' to pay if such perceptions are wrong. This may getting to the inner masculine qualities {or lack of}.

I am going to have to stop here. My computer is acting up and I am afraid I will loose everything if I don't find a solution to the the problem. It can be so frustrating to put so much effort into an interpretation and all of a sudden loose it.
But it may be a good thing. It gives you an opportunity to comment on what i have stated thus far. I do believe there is a developing theme to the dream and I have already made an assessment to what it is. If you provide comments to the above perhaps we will be able to confirm my thoughts {or reject them}. Is the above in line with what you were thinking the dream is about? I'll finish the interpretation later, after I have worked on the computer and do some 'social requirements' {called work}.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: men and jewelry

Julz,
Thanks for taking interest. I know who my dad is, he lives in the same town I do. but I have never actually talked to him or spent a day with him. I would see him in stores and stuff when I was a kid, and he would try to talk to me, but I was afraid of him. My half brother and sister lived with him, and I heard they were abused. I know they were taken away when they got older. He tried to kidnap me once when I was very young. I was terrified of the man.

Just recently, my mom told me some things that happened when they were together, and it made me wonder if she kept me away to justify her own feelings of hurt and betrayal instead of my own safety, which I always believed growing up.

It is hard to sort through what I should and shouldn't feel for the man.

Gerard,
I think the dream has more to do with my father than my fiance, but I do think that it also has a lot to do with my masculine side that I suppress. I don't think I'm comparing my fiance to my father, because I really don't have anything to base the comparisons on. I don't know enough about my dad to know his characteristics. My fiance is the primary male in my life, so it does make sense that when dreaming of a "father figure" my fiance would be there. If I was comparing, I think it would be more about wishing my dad was the type of father I know my fiance will be when we do have children.

I think that the walk with the older man may be about my father trying to force a relationship on me I didn't want (trying to kidnap me as a child), or, he may represent all of the things that I feel I have been "bullied" into recently. (I thought, if my fiance was here, he would be kicking this man's butt). Maybe if I wasn't so polite, I could stand up for myself a little more. (My inner male).

I have no idea what my father's wife would mean. She was speaking in gibberish. Maybe she represents my mother, and how I have started to question (not understand) her intentions lately. Did she keep my away for my own safety, or to punish him?

The jewelry throws me off a bit. It could be an inner desire to cheat on my fiance, but I really don't have any urges like that. (The jewelry isn't worth as much as my engagement ring, and the cost is always too high). This could mean that I haven't met anyone who is better than my fiance, and I wouldn't be willing to give up what I have now for someone else.

Or, the jewelry could represent a relationship with my father. The diamonds are small and not my style. Maybe I feel like he hasn't tried hard enough or isn't offering enough. (The price is too high). What if I open myself up and end up hurt? I think that with the theme of the dream, this explanation makes the most sense about the symbolism of the jewelry.

I'm really not sure if the fighting dogs mean anything or not. It is routine in my waking life to keep them separated. We have to be very careful about making sure that they are not in the same room. This is just routine, and may not be anything important in the dream.

If the dogs do represent anything in the dream, it may be emotional ties to my father. My fiance (the primary male in my life) lets one dog in, and chaos happens (they start to fight). Maybe if I let the emotions in that my father may have to offer, I fear chaos would happen. A relationship with him may disrupt my life.

Please let me know what you think.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Kentucky

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: men and jewelry

Betty,
After reading the whole dream and your last post I believe the dream is comparing, not only the non-relationship with your father compared to that of your fiancee, but also inner qualities about yourself. I don't believe there is any doubt the dream is addressing the relationship with your father, albeit an unconscious one that I mentioned in my last post {similar to my own experiences}. Unconsciously and inherently there is that degree of interest in knowing our parents. It is not clear to me the statement in your last post:
I think that the walk with the older man may be about my father trying to force a relationship on me I didn't want (trying to kidnap me as a child), or, he may represent all of the things that I feel I have been "bullied" into recently. Are these true statements about your father and who is bullying you?

Welcome to WalMart
I sense a search is in progress, a need to possess some thing in your life {store}. The necklace may represent 'the head-heart connection'. It may be addressing the unconscious aspects of that non-relationship with your father, something consciously you do not want to think about {now a huge clunky thing on my neck and it is embarrassing}. His 'wife' would be something you need to recognize about yourself, but do not recognize consciously {again getting back to unconscious desires for a relationship with your father}. I sense there are fears about some aspect of 'relationships' that may be not be fully consciously known. You do not recognize these attitudes but unconsciously they are there. They may be deep seeded and buried.

The jewelry.
This may be saying something about your 'inner treasures'. You are in a WalMart/K Mart store which would signify a non-materialistic attitude. The woman behind the counter is another aspect of you, a lesser aspect that may be a comparison of one part of your life {father} to your fiancee. There are two rings, which would symbolize perfection, wholeness {ring}. This may addressing the unconscious attitude toward your dad {unconscious desire for a good relationship that never existed}.
Not liking either one. here again is a contradictory statement that I believe is addressing the unconscious desires and perhaps inner fears about relationships {although they may be false fears}. The true relationship with your fiancee { and my fiance paid a lot less for mine and I like it better than either one} is valid but I do sense some insecurities about relationships in general which would be a result of the non-relationship with your father {unconscious fears instilled early in life that may have no merit but exist anyway}.

The Dogs
This may represent inner conflicts. The unconscious attitudes of the non-relationship with your father and the unconscious fears it presents vs the reality of the true relationship with your fiancee {which is superior}. There is an unconscious need {whining} by one aspect to enter into that unresolved issue of the father relationship. On the outside you want to 'live' your life {living room} without confronting the unconscious need for resolution. Conscious reality vs. unconscious need for reconciliation.

My approach to this may be confusing. There are unconscious attitudes we all possess that may not be consciously desired but remain in a dormant state within the deeper unconscious. relationships with parents is important although consciously you may feel it is 'me it's no big'. It is an inner conflict reflecting inherent inner values and desires. I believe the central theme of the dream is about those inner conflicts that could have affected your outer unconscious relationships. But your true inner values, the diamond that is better than the stone, as provided guidance beyond the unconscious fears that were instilled in your early life. We all have to get past those childhood conflicts {which unconsciously carry over into adulthood} in order to find balance in our adult life. This says a lot about your ability to cope and progress.
But there does remain that element of closure to the father relationship. That is, if I am correct in my conclusions. Is that a possibility? The strong denial of a desire to know more about your father may say a lot about the need to acknowledge what is unconsciously a conflict. On the outside the psyche is a bit 'stuck up' about the whole thing but inward there is that desire or need that just will not go away.

Your thoughts?

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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Re: men and jewelry

*I think that the walk with the older man may be about my father trying to force a relationship on me I didn't want (trying to kidnap me as a child), or, he may represent all of the things that I feel I have been "bullied" into recently.*

*"Are these true statements about your father and who is bullying you?"*

My father really did try to kidnap me once when I was a child. I would see him in stores and just around town and he would try to speak to me. I felt like he was "forcing" himself on me.

No one is really "bullying" me, that may have been the wrong word. But, people do ask things of me without regard for my needs. I don't really feel bullied, but sometimes I do feel taken advantage of. I have this need to help people, and if people are unwilling to help themselves, it can get very frustrating and overwhelming. I thought that may have some significance to the ring the man gave me. I took it to be polite, but it became a huge clunky thing on my neck. I wouldn't take it off for fear of being rude. This may be a desire to be stronger, to just say no. (my inner masculine side)

Of course not having a relationship with my father has effected much of my life. I'm sure it probably effects me in ways I'm not even aware of. That relationship will always be void to me. A father/daughter bond is supposed to be sacred. I'll never know that.

What you said about becoming stronger as an adult makes a whole lot of sense. My life is so much better now than it was when I was a child. I watch so many people fall victim to their environment, and I wonder where my strength comes from. I'm just glad I was smart enough to help myself, and do good for myself, instead of spending my life whining about where I came from and how ufair that is.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Kentucky

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Re: men and jewelry

Betty,
Then there was some remembered experiences with your father? That puts a bit of a different light on the possibilities. And probably points to the fact the dream is addressing inner aspects and personality more so than the relationship with your father. The affect of his actions, even as young as you were, are ingrained within your psyche and the evolution of who you are has been affected by that. But you have overcome those negatives to find a relationship and life that are full of positives.
But the impressions will always remain. If such dreams persist it would probably indicate there are still some unresolved aspects to that childhood.

The last part of a dream the two dogs fight. One is female. Is the other male? This may represent different aspects in conflict. Masculine vs feminine. It could be an outer conflict between male and female {you and your father} or inner conflicts of masculine and feminine qualities. Or both. Being the last of the dream may be important to future experiences or emotional reactions. And would indicate on ongoing conflict.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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Re: men and jewelry

Both of my dogs are female, that's why they don't get along. But, a male (my fience) let one of the dogs into the room. That's why the fight happened.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Kentucky

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Re: men and jewelry

I do have a few remembered "experiences" with my father, but they are very few. Usually, I would see him in a store or on the street, and he would send my half brother or sister over to me with money. I usually would not take it (but sometimes I did). I never talked to him. I didn't even say "Thank you."

He tried to "kidnap" me once when I was a child. I was playing outside and he pulled up in a car and told me to go with him. I ran inside and told my mom. He left very fast.

That's all I really know about him except for things my mom has told me.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 26 Kentucky

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