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Suicide?

Hi ! I'm hoping someone can help me interpret this dream.. usually I brush off most dreams that i have except I really felt like I should know what this one means..
It starts off with me at work, (I work at a large cell phone company and just started in a new department a little over a month ago) and it is announced to everyone that I was selected as the last month's best employee. I am really happy to hear the news but confused at the same time because I am so new, it just doesnt seem right that I would be the department's best employee. I leave work right after and enter a black car which is apparently mine (I dont own a car). I am sitting in the driver's seat and all of a sudden I have a gun, I dont know where I got it from but I put the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger without ever second guessing myself. But I'm not dead, I know that I've just shot myself and I'm gonna die soon, but I'm not dead right away. I start driving and I drive to a funeral home. once at the funeral home, my mother is waiting outside. I begin talking to her from my car window, I have my seat down with my bare feet out through the window, as if I'm in a very relaxed position and I'm talking to my mom about very normal things (how her day is going, etc) all of a sudden she touches my feet since they're hanging out the window and she tells me I should really be taking better care of my feet, they're so rough. I tell her, very calmly, it doesn't matter if my feet are rough, I'm dying soon anyway. She agrees and tells me she has to go back to work. we both say bye and I get out of my car to walk into the funeral home. the funeral home is all windows and as I am walking, I look at myself in the glass, where I see that there is alot of blood and gucky stuff in my hair from the bullet going in my mouth and out of the back of my head. I remember thinking to myself "I look so ugly right now". I go into the funeral home where an elderly woman helps me plan my funeral, she doesn't seem phased by the fact that I'm shot at all. As I'm planning, my brother calls me on my cell phone and asks me if i'll be much longer at the funeral home. I tell him I'm almost done and he tells me to hurry because it's such a beautiful day outside (at that point I look out of a window to realise the sun is beaming and its a perfect summer day). he tells me he wants to go with me on a terrasse and eat and have some drinks. I tell him I dont want to, I have guck in my hair from when I shot myself so I really don't look good enough to go out for drinks. he tells me he knows I have gunk in my hair, our mother told him, but it doesn't matter, I should come meet him anyway. I tell him he's right, I'm dying soon anyway, who cares if people see me like this? he says 'exactly. I'll see you soon'. I hang up the phone. I start thinking that maybe I shouldn't have shot myself, but that thought dissapears quickly. the elderly woman tells me my funeral plans are finished, I start heading towards the door and I wake up.
This is such a weird dream to me, I didn't at all feel nervous about dying or scared during my dream. I also didn't wake up feeling weird in any way. it was like the entire dream, I had accepted that I was dying and everyone around me had done the same.. anyone know what this could mean?? Thank you in advance for your help !!!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20, Canada

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? No

Re: Suicide?

Anne,
The dream seems to be addressing anxieties of some phase or aspect in your life. The most likely aspect is your new position at your job. Do you feel you are in a less desirable position due to the changes at work? The suicide is most likely a desire to change something, kill it off {your suicide in the dream isn't about a real suicide}. You may feel this new position isn't what you really want but others may insist you continue {your mother} with the position anyway. It is causing inner conflict and you want to lay that conflict to rest {funeral home}, or you do not feel at peace with the new positions.

Is this new position causing anxieties? That seems to be what the dream is about. If not the new position then some other aspect in your life that is causing you conflict and anxiety that you wish to change.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Suicide?

Gerard,
I think the interpretation you gave for my dream is good. however, I absolutely love my job and I do really well in it. I am not planning nor do I want to quit, but if I did, my mother would support that decision. She is not the type to try and force me into doing things, but more into watching me make my own decisions and even learn from my own mistakes.
I broke up with a man that I was with for 4 years, about 8 months ago. it was very hard since I was so young when we got together and infidelity was the reason I left. Perhaps, even though he wasn't at all in my dream, it could have something to do with him? Maybe anger I didn't know I had?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 18 canada

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Re: Suicide?

Anne,
If we insert him with where I suggested the job may fit, does that work? Obviously you recognize what it is that you wanted to change. I must always remember dreams of a younger person is most often directed at the ego life and not the inner life. You picked up on my intentions, even though I failed to get it exactly right. You made me look good. Thanks.

Gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes


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