Hello,

I had a dream last night that left an impression on me.

I am at home with my family and I go next door to check on my best friend because I hear she is dead, or somehow I knew she was hurt, but none of my family knew it.

I walk in and she is laying on a bed that looks more like a gurney. The room is steel. I don't know who she is, but I think she is me. I race over to her and I am crying because she is dead. I put my head on her chest and I can hear her heart, so she is still alive, but not breathing. She was shot in the stomach, right below her breast. I start to give her CPR and she begins to breathe, but she is unconscious. I know she has a very small amount of time before she will die. I want to race out and get her help and the door opens. A man walks in who is tall and big. I seem to know him, but he doesn't resemble anyone I truly know. I look at him as a mentor, yet he pulls out a gun and starts shooting. I make his aim off, and I have my body curved, so the bullets keep hitting the wall right behind my back.

For some reason I tell myself that his aim would not be that bad, and I let up on controlling him. He aims and hits me in my stomach six times. I run out the door thinking I am going to put up a fight. If I am going to die then he is going to have to work for it. I am not dead yet, but I am bleeding. I am weary but feel no pain because my adrenaline is pumping. Outside it is dark, the ground is soil and there is a wooded lot only a few feet away. I run through the soil, all the time he is behind me calm and collected. He knows that I won't last long. I think if I can make it to the woods I can hide from him and then crawl to help. I can't make it though and I fall into the soil, on my back. I hear him approaching. I pull a hood over my eyes so I don't have to see him. I feel a plastic bag being pulled up over my body. I'm afraid of suffocating to death, but he only pulls it up to cover my wounds. I look at him and say you were my favorite teacher once, but I knew you were bad.

He just laughs. He says he is going to wait there and watch me die. All I can think about is how I am not going to die and how I need to get help so that my best friend doesn't end up dieing too. I know that there is only so much time before that happens.

He starts to talk to me, I don't remember what. I wasn't nice to him, but for some reason I developed that condition in which you empathise with your captor. I knew that was what it was, and decided to use it to my advantage. He was playing with a ping pong ball and paddle, but didn't have a table. He said he wanted one. I told him, over there in my families house we have one. Do you want me to go and see if you can have it. I was thinking I could escape then, but he didn't fall for that.

He turned his back for a little while, I don't know what he was doing. The door of my families house opened and a male came out. He didn't see me at first. I was desperate for him to see me. I blended into the soil. I sat up, it took all my strength, and when he looked back in my direction, I beat on the wall (somehow a wall ended up next to me) and I lifted up my shirt to show him my bullet holes. He made eye contact, but because he didn't want my captor to know he seen me he just silently went back inside. I knew though that he would get help.

The bad guy came back to me and laid down next to me. He started to molest me. I was crying and begging him to stop. His fingers were hurting me, pushing against me and all I could do was beg him not to rape me.


The door open and another male came out, this male arrested the bad guy.

I know my friend and I both lived, but I woke up after that.


The dream just shook me for some reason.


Does color have anything to do with it?

The one room was all steel, the floor, walls and even the bed she was on.

But I was laying in dark black soil, I had a black bag garbage bag over me, and the only color was the red blood which was dripping down me and pooled in the black bag. The forest was also very dark, the sky was not lit up with stars, but the moon was very faint. The leaves on the trees were not quite black but you couldn't make them out. The environment was just so texturally real.

My captor was white.

The two men who saved me were black & they were my family; I am white.

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I forgot. He was also pushing his fingers into my wounds, which one was in the same place as my belly button and causing me intense pain. This was at the same time as when he was sexually abusing me. These were the only real parts where I felt extreme physical pain.

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Can I please have some interpretation..

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Posh,
I apologize for not providing an interpretation. I have had to work double overtime with my business {self employed} the past two weeks and have not been able to be as prompt in providing interpretations as I usually do. I have to give a lot of mental energy to the projects and the time needed to do the job right {I am dedicated to the ethics of high quality} takes away from my precious time interpreting dreams.

I will do my best to provide an insightful response in the morning.

gerard

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Posh,
The dream statement, "I don't know who she is, but I think she is me" is most likely the primary message of the dream. Some part of you has been hurt, enough to cause that aspect to be felt as if it were dead. You are breathing but not really alive.

Then the tall guy becomes the focus of the dream. And injury and sexual abuse. Has there been such experiences in your life, actual abuse? There seems to be an element of repression, the steel room, strong, impenetrable. You don't want to confront this 'dead' part of you {I pull a hood over my eyes so I don't have to see him"}. And possible a family element having to do with this distress in your life. The matter may have been resolved {arrested the bad guy} but within your unconscious there remains the fear and pain.

The question is, has there been such experiences of abuse in your life? The dream points to some traumatic event that you are afraid to open up to. If you can address that question perhaps we can gain insights to the truth that needs to be acknowledged.

gerard

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Thank you for responding.


Sorry I was impatient. :) I have posted here before with other dreams and you have said this to me before, but I don't remember too much.

I don't know if I was. I feel like I am protecting myself and keeping something blocked, but I can't say why I feel that way or what makes me think it's true. Which makes me feel crazy.

couldn't it allude to a present situation in which I have those same feelings and it just manifests itself in my dream in that way?

Or does molestation/rape always refer to real life sexual abuse?

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Posh,
To answer your question whether dream scenes of rape/molestation can symbolize something other than sexual abuse. yes, it can. It can represent being over powered or disrespected, without any relationship to actual sexual abuse.

As for repressing something within your unconscious. Your dream has a lot of references that point to that possibility. especially the last paragraph where the black soil, the black garbage bag over your head, the very dark forest. These often point to unconscious information. but they too can point to other aspects, perhaps moods of depression.

One part of the dream may be significant. The dream statement, " I look at him and say you were my favorite teacher once". Does than bring up any memories about teachers {actual school teachers or someone who you saw as a mentor}? I suggest you look back at your childhood and early adolescence and see what may be there. Again, it doesn't have to be actual sexual abuse but could be impressions of psychological experiences that refer to the possibilities I stated above. but they most likely would have been strong enough impressions to remain within the unconscious, something traumatic enough so not to want to remember them.

gerard

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I'll have to think about it because nothing rings a bell in regards to teachers I've had.

My mom had a boyfriend who was 14 years older than her when I was only 4. I remember liking him, and thinking he was like a grandpa type. We all moved into his house and his wife and kids lived there too. It was strange, I know I didn't think my mom was with him in a romantic way because his wife was there. His teenage son would play "house" with me and my little sister, and I was supposed to be the mom and she was supposed to be the baby and he was the dad. I was supposed to make the baby with him- but after he starts pushing against me I don't remember much more.. kinda just goes blank.


thanks for your interpretations :)

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Posh,
If there is something negative from the dream that is registered in your unconscious then it will eventually show itself. Closure is the only true remedy to such experiences.
The conscious mind will often resist acknowledging traumatic experiences {repression} especially if it was an early childhood experience. The experience with the teenage boy may be part of it, perhaps not. A lot of the dream language could fit with those experiences. 'Going blank' when thinking about it either is the ego suppressing a bad experience or there was nothing there to begin with. Pay attention to your dreams in the near future and if you have any you feel related to this post them at the Forum. I promise to give priority to them.

gerard

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Thanks. :)

I had a dream the other night that was similar, I don't remember the details, but I was trying to rescue a couple of little girls who got left alone in their underwear and diapers with this man. I knew he was going to molest them and I had to rescue them.

I did end up getting him arressted.


There was also a part about the soil again..

the black soil.. loose and I dug up a spot and planted a tree in the center of it.

There were more details, but none that I can clearly recall.

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Posh,
Is there an evolving pattern here? Trying to rescue 'little girls in their underwear' and the 'bad guy' may have a relationship to past childhood {very early} experiences. The soil, could that have a relationship to 'soiling' your underwear'? The terminology used also seems to fit with what a young child would use. You may want to investigate your very early childhood years to determine what possibilities there were for some type of abuse. Your mom's boyfriend, or his teenage son, they could be involved if there was some type of inappropriate behavior. Does your mom have any thoughts on the matter tat may help?

gerard

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My mom doesn't believe any of it..


funny you mention about soiling.. because I was thinking about how my sister and I both would wet ourselves a lot after that, in the bed and I had problems my first two years of school with wetting my pants at school. I didn't stop wetting the bed until I was about 8.


I just don't want to be one of those people who thinks they have a repressed memory and makes things up.


I know my little sister told my dad that he touched us, but that's the most I've ever gotten out of my relatives.


And, he went to jail but for armed burglary. I know I was there when he was arrested. I don't remember that so clearly, but I do remember going to the jail and being brought to a foster home because my mom had to go to jail as well. She was released though the next day .. blah now I'm rambling.

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