Hi Gerald!!

I just began reading Jung and the lost gospels last night...(hefller)
doubt it has anything to do with this dream....but it is a tranformative experience...just reading this.

short dream.

climbing up stairs (outside...cliffs and caves)...dark man behind me...a robber..trying to steal my new engagement ring...i don't think he saw it...but am very afraid...i take it off and hide it in my pocket...i am wearing other rings..but am only worried about this one..i try to find people to stay the night with...so i will be safe.


background...i recently got engaged...and am still hoping I am doing the right thing..by getting married..I am very afraid....of losing my freedom..i guess...
wonder sometimes if I will sabotage something good...because of commitment phobia or control issues (from childhood? raised fundamentalist)..Or, are my fears justified? and, how does one know?

or, maybe it is about other issues all together...inner issues..
hard to tell when one is so close.

Thanks!!!!!

Lucy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 US

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes, several times

Lucy,
Climbing stairs often represents struggling to overcome some aspect in your life. Because it is outside this could mean outward related issues stemming from inner conflicts. The black man could symbolize unconscious masculine tendencies {commitment} that could be trying to rob you of your commitment to your relationship. This indeed could be pointing to those control issues you spoke of dating from childhood.
It is the commitment to this relationship that worries you. You are turning to positive aspects of the relationship to make yourself feel safe {and trying not to let the negative control issues derail you}.

Dreams reveal how you truly feel about those emotional experiences in your life. This dream seems to be addressing what you believe to be true, those childhood issues of control are real and overcoming them is a part of being in a successful relationship. That part is most likely the deepest desire, a successful relationship.

I don't see anything that comments on whether this is the right guy or not {your fiance}. If it did then it would be those intuitive feelings {which are always right} that demonstrate how you actually feel. This dream is most likely addressing commitment issues. That would be the first struggle to be addressed.

If you will delve deeper into Jung's Individuation Process you may find answers to those 'control issues'. Not everyone will fit with this process because it does require some intellect but more important it requires a lot of discipline.
If these issues are from childhood then most likely they are deep seeded and that will take some real effort and time to resolve. The good news is you are aware of those issues. That is the first step to resolving such emotional conflicts. Now you must confront the issues head on, going back to childhood and determining the source of your emotional imbalance, and confronting those aspects. The Individuation Process is a 'self help' guide. If you feel this beyond your capabilities then a trained psychologist is the other alternative.
But you have already started on the path of self realization. Try the process and if you are really wanting that balanced and harmonious life, one where you are able to commit and realize that stable relationship you seek, the it is possible.

It has worked miracles for myself and many others who were lucky to discover Jung. But it is not for everyone. But since you have shown a lot of interest in your dreams, and the inner joureny, that is an positive indication you ready to proceed with Jung.

The Dream Forum is here to help in that endeavor. One Jungian helping another. Or better yet, it is a part of that spiritual aspect of helping the other, a part in of itself of the 'Individuation Process' {the Self}. One part of the process that rewards both you and I.

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Hi Gerard,

Thanks for your intuitive insights....I am very interested in doing the work...that is what this second half of life is all about..I suppose....could you recommend any books..specifically about working on the individuation process? Something that may have been helpful to you on your journey?

Thanks,

Lucy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 US

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes, several times

Lucy,
Someone who may be helpful in your journey and who is a Jungian psychologist living in Canada is Marion Woodman. She has written several books on dreams including my favorite Dreams: Language of the Soul. Many of her books are about women's issues including the following {with a brief description}:

Addition To Perfection
Through case studies, dreams, and myths, Woodman, a Jungian analyst explores the hidden causes of compulsion in the lives of men and women. At the root of eating disorders, substance abuse, and other addictive and compulsive behaviors, Woodman sees a hunger for spiritual fulfillment. The need to experience a sacred connection to an energy greater than their own drives people to search for an illusory ideal of perfection. Through discussions of parenthood, creativity, and body image, this presentation shows that freedom from addiction can be found by discovering the wisdom and power of the feminine principle.

Dancing in the Flames
This powerful book about the Dark Goddess is a rich and intimate exploration that brings together history, mythology, psychology, and religion. The authors have written a seed text that is wise, vigorous, and revelatory.

Ravaged Bridegroom: Masculinity in Women
"Continues the author's long-standing concern with the feminine focusing on the ways in which a woman may be undermined by a crippling relationship with her inner man. Powerful images from poetry, myth, dreams, analysis and personal experience. Illustrated. Index. Over 35,000 sold. "Practical and inspiring in turn, one is grateful for Woodman's experience and perception." - Journal of Analytical Psychology."

The Owl Was a Baker's Daughter: Obesity, Anorexia Nervosa, and the Repressed Feminine
Eye-opening insights into the body as mirror of the psyche in eating disorders and weight disturbances. Case studies and practical procedures emphasize the integration of body and soul.

One or more of the above books may help you in your self discovery process, which is the essence of 'Individuation Process'. A self psychology process.

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes