I think that I am on the verge of discovering something, but I'm not sure what it is. This dream has several of the same elements as dreams I've had before (alleys, back entrances) and "feels" like it has the same type of message--something repressed--that needs to come foreward into my consciousness. This dream also contains several three's, which if I understand the dictionary correctly symbolize something close to resolution.

I had been searching for an apartment and finally found one. The apartment was in an alley and behind a grocery store. It was connected to the store, and the door into the apartment from the alley looked and moved like a garage door. From outside the apartment looked as if it were part of the loading dock for the grocery store. There was no way to enter the apartment from the store.

My mother and I went inside the apartment, and the apartment was fairly large. It had one spacious living room and the kitchen was part of that room. Then, there was a small bedroom and bathroom down a small hall off the main room.

The walls were a dingy white, in need of a good scrubbing or paint job. I could see where paintings and wall decorations had previously been on the walls. One spot showed that a cross had once been on the wall, but it was now missing. My mother stayed the night with me, and we went to bed in the bedroom. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom, and saw three cockroaches crawling along the baseboards. I realized that I would have to spray the apartment with bug spray in the morning.

I woke up the next day and went into the living room. There I saw a cigarette that had been smoked and left burning on a table. This was frightening, because neither my mother nor I smoke. I dumped a glass of water on it to put it out, and then saw another lit cigarette. This cigarette was the light to a bomb’s fuse. If the cigarette burned down far enough, it would light the fuse, and then the bomb would explode. I saw a woman in her late 50’s in the room. She had short gray hair and had not aged well. The woman was a roommate that I didn’t realize I would have when I moved into the apartment.

When the bomb squad arrived, it was apparent that they had been to this address before. They knew the woman, because she had set bombs before. She had lived in the apartment for a long time. The woman was a pyromaniac/repetitive bomb setter and she had intentionally set the bomb to explode because she had put her pet dogs (three large, beautiful German shepherds that were tame) outside so that they would not be hurt when the bomb went off. The bomb squad defused the bomb and some of the police took the woman away. There were three young detectives left in the apartment. Two were male and one was female. The female had long blonde hair. Suddenly, a grizzly bear appeared in the front yard. The detectives went out to subdue it, and all three were killed. Later that day, a memorial video featuring the three detectives was shown on TV, and I called the police station to ask when I could get a copy of the video, because I was very grateful that the detectives had saved my life.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41, New Mexico

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I forgot to say thank you for your help and insight!

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pilly,
In Jungian psyche the number 4 would represent wholeness, completion. So your understanding of the number 3 would fit with something that is not quite whole or complete, but close. The alleys and back entrances are most often symbolic of unconscious aspects and how you learn to realize these true aspects. To your dream.

Apartments usually represent particular aspects about yourself {an apartment complex would be your whole self}. That particular aspect, a true aspect is to be found in your unconscious if not already consciously realized or understood. Grocery stores are place you go to shop for emotional nourishment. The garage door goes up and down, possibly reflecting conscious experiences having to do with this one particular aspect {with the one particular aspect being related to other aspects}. There is not yet a complete conscious entrance to that nourishment you are seeking {no way to enter the apartment from the store}. This would fit with the number 3.

This one particular aspect is a large part of who you are. Your mother may be relevant to that and/or she may represent your own wisdom or higher Self.

where paintings and wall decorations had previously been on. Could this be your creative self, that part that was 'stifled' when you were in high school? It could be but it could also represent those underlying reasons for the stifled creative self. It is your mother that is 'staying' with you in your unconscious stayed the night}. That could be relevant.

The cross can represent balance/ wholeness in Christian theology 3 represents wholeness and the cross would also}. But in the unconscious you are not yet there the number 4}. The cockroaches and the need to spray the baseboards a need to reevaluate major aspects of your life. Not just the creative aspects but also those underlying causes that 'stifled' your creative spirit. The morning part may represent a new day, new beginning. It also may be speaking to putting off something that needs to be done now.

The cigarette may symbolize a lack of discipline. Is that a inherent or natural trait you possess? Would that trait also fit your mother? Putting out one cigarette and then seeing another may also be about discipline. You have good intentions but do not stay the course {3 out of 4}. If you continue this attitude it could lead to an 'explosion' of your true Self. The woman in her late 50's could be your mother and you, perhaps sharing the same traits. How old is your mother? Is your mother happy in her life? Would you be happy at that age, late 50s, if you could not be your true self, creative, balanced and whole? Two women sharing the same apartment. Does that ring a bell?

You've been here before, confronted with this same issue. Does the repetitive aspect fit with who you are or perhaps your mother also? {determining if your mother is representative of herself or an aspect of you, or both, is the key question}.
From Hyperdictionary:
Seeing a dog in your dream indicates a skill that you have ignored or forgotten and needs to be activated.

That may address one aspect of the dream symbol. But are there other underlying aspects? Again, going back to your teen years when you were stifled. What were the causes? Were they unconscious reflections of inherent traits?

I need to end here. I have an appointment I must make this morning. I will finish my interpretation later today. If you visit the forum before then please give your comments on what I have written thus far. Usually the last part of a dream points to possible solutions. Let's see if that is the case in your dream.

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Dear Gerard,

Again, you have offered insights that I did not see when I looked at the dream myself. I definitely understand the connection of the grocery store with emotional nourishment. I definitely have been shelving my own wants in the attempt to get caught up at work and finish the items I need to have completed for the end of the semester.

I also have a habit of burying things that bother me until I just can’t take any more, and then expressing anger or sadness out of proportion to the triggering event. The final straw might be something slight, but because of all the other emotion behind it, the reaction is extreme. That might be an explanation for the bomb and cigarettes. I think I have one situation under control, but in reality it is just pushed aside until something else “sets me off.” This is a definite pattern in my life.

I definitely agree with the lack of discipline you mention. I do have a problem with staying with a program unless I really want to accomplish the goal. The perfect example of that right now is with going to the gym. I had a virus and couldn’t keep my regular workout schedule. Now, I am using every excuse I can think of to take days off. I also have time in the evenings to work on my craft projects, but tend to just laze around and watch TV.

As to the stifling in my teenage years, part of it was definitely communicated by my mother—practicality is very important to her. Trying to earn a living as an artist would never be acceptable to her, because it is an unsteady income, because you might sell several items one month and then nothing for six more months. I absorbed this message, and (this is important now that I’ve thought about it) used her beliefs as an excuse NOT to pursue a career in art, because I could not face MY OWN fear of not having a reliable, dependable income.

I think you’re right that the morning symbolizes a new beginning—it is almost time for a new semester, it is almost the New Year, and yes, I am scheduling time to work on creative pursuits. It is definitely time for me to quit making excuses and do some of the things I say I want to do, or accept that I don’t really want to put the time and effort forth to do them and realize that is all right, too. I also have to accept that my projects don’t have to be perfect. The point is to have fun while doing them.

I hope your appointment went well this morning. Thank you so much for all of your time and effort!

pilly

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pilly,
I apologize for not finishing the interpretation yesterday. My appointment {actually a contract job I was working on} was slowed because of the weather. But I did finish. Now on to the next job which may be affected by weather also and will limit my time again this morning. I do want to give the last paragraph some in-depth consideration because it does have a lot to say about what may be limiting certain positive aspects of your psyche. And there does seem to be an offering of what it is that is 'saving' you. Could it be the creative aspect?

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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pilly,
I'm trying to get a grasp on what exactly the 'bomb' represents in your dream. If there is a discipline problem then the bomb squad task would be to diffuse that negative aspect. Are other aspects in the relationship with your mother and her practically that needs/needed diffusing? Whatever the emotional issue, it is something that is still unconsciously 'playing' on your psyche or you would not be dreamer about it.
Are there any other unresolved issues with your mother due to the relationship when you were a teen? What makes her so practical in her principles and it could be that something associated that affects your psyche? Or perhaps a fear that it may influence some aspect of who you are, something you reject and thus have an unconscious repulsion from it?
Often such emotions play out in some form in your waking personal life, influenced by personality traits many of which are unconsciously imprinted from early life experiences or are inherent.

Exploring the possibilities. If her practical ways inhibited your creative aspects, did they also inhibit other aspects? If so what would they be.

Self examination. Jung's Individuation Process is a guide to that inner search and when put into practice proves itself time and again. I try to encourage anyone interested in personal growth, or are on the spiritual quest, to read the pages I have created at Myths-Dreams-Symbols. There is an abundance of intuitive knowledge that will be discovered if enough time is given to reading these materials {and watching the videos}.

I'm always looking for clues to personality traits in dreams. Often I can determine such characteristics, certain dreams pronouncing those traits because they are affecting the waking life. And when a dream focuses on personality it often is in an effort to realize something about yourself that is out of balance, or, if there is a repulsion to express that repulsion in some way may be unconsciously controlling of waking actions.

Have you fully explored the relationship with your mother? Could there be other aspects in the relationship that are in conflict, or out of balance?

In the last paragraph of the dream the language 'because she had set bombs before'. Could the she be your mother? Or you? Or both?
The cigarette could also be a symbol representing a person, you, your mother.
'There I saw a cigarette that had been smoked and left burning on a table'. That could be a metaphorical statement representing 'some part of yourself or someone you are in conflict with. Then there is the sentence other lite cigarette', perhaps representing something else that is in conflict besides the original aspect that was in conflict.

Dreams are fascinating in how they do use metaphor, symbols and motifs to express an emotional energies within the dreamer. Jung provides the tools that lets us understand dreams. Anyone with a good intuitive sense, and studies Jung in depth can learn to understand dreams and do it successively.

It is best to also study the works of Joseph Campbell. Campbell, a 'Jungian' like myself {his philosophies being what we celebrate and less the man} articulates Jungian though so even simple minds like myself can understand those 'secrets' within the psyche. Natural secrets.

And it is great food for the creative self. That may be because both Jung and Campbell believed our true self, Campbell's 'follow your bliss', is to be found within the creative aspect, and it is a part of the spiritual aspect {giving of oneself to another or a higher purpose}.

And there is where you find the real meaning of/in life. Going within, the inner search. Psychological.

gerard

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Thank you for expanding on the interpretation. I think the conflict must be representing an internal conflict withing myself...

No apologies necessary--I am truly grateful that you put forth the time and effort that you do. I am very einterested in Joseph Cambell--"The Hero's Journey" is truly an amazing book. I am becoming more intrigued by Jung, as well. Studying these dreams is giving me much more insight into myself than I ever thought possible.

Thanks again,
pilly

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