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1}Interpretations 2}Childhood Memories

It may be Saturday morning before I am 'confidently' be able to interpret posted dreams. My intuitive 'self' is quite dysfunctional after having to apply so much physical and psyche energy to the 'social being'. But alas! Balance is a life long struggle.

As you may know, or may not know, I have returned to full time control of my construction business and this week has been extra-ordinarily busy, considering the time of year and economic conditions. That is good as far as paying the bills, and feeding my several felines. But too much of it in a short time dilutes my intuitive capabilities. Not to give my best is not how I wish to approach any dream.

In relationship to what we do here at the Forum, and related to what we learn from Jung's discoveries of the human psyche, it is that spiritual self that insures the 'helping hands'. Seems those helping hands have been quite busy on my behalf. A positive aspect of following the 'hero path'.

Childhood Memories
I would like to start a discussion on childhood experiences, what others have experienced and wish to share. Have there been dream images of children in your dreams, especially unknown or unnamed children? If so perhaps you can learn something important from those dreams. Everyone is welcomed to join the discussion, every experience having something to teach that all will learn from.

A question to stimulate thought
How many have actually taken the time to analyze oneself during childhood years. By that I mean looked back to actual events and give time to 'being' that child again, visualizing yourself as that child, not only remembering the experiences but also the feelings and moods, the moments, little aspects that you haven't though for so long, forgotten in time. Where there was enough psyche energy and/or impressionable energies to endure through time?

Take an age, and another, and another, choose at random, from childhood experiences, and repeat the above.

If you haven't done so, do so. Not 4 or 5 minutes, but 15, 20, 30 minutes. Find a quiet place where you can relax and look back. Don't be surprised if you are surprised.
As a third person you learn so much about the first and the second. That's what dreams are, that third person. And what you learn is about you.

If you dare to do the above please report your findings. Or have done it already, what can you say about the experience? Sharing knowledge is always enlightening for someone.

gerard/Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Re: 1}Interpretations 2}Childhood Memories

I'll be happy to do and post on some of this. I've done much, already, but never recorded those moments, in writing. I think it will be good to visit even those moments, again. Always something new to be seen and learned.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42, Kansas

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Re: 1}Interpretations 2}Childhood Memories

Found it a fascinating exercise, Jerry, and wrote the following in response to the question posed. In one of those wonderfully eerie coincidences, it also meshes so neatly with the dream I had of the assassin. Thanks a million.

Walking to first day of school

I’m with Mom. I’m think I must have been excited, particularly because my older sister was already going to school and I wanted to join her and be grown up too. But Mom had asked me to hold her bag. It was a clutch of some sorts. I thought nothing of it until we passed a group of 3 or 4 older girls on the way into the school and they mocked me , saying something like, ‘it’s a big bag for such a little girl’. It seems like it could be a good natured enough comment and yet I perceived hostility or menace in it. And I am sure my face fell and it must have cast a pall over the whole experience. I think the experience and my crest fallen reaction was a repeating pattern in general in my childhood. High hopes and excitement and expectations dashed. As though I were continually slapped back down. I always kept trying to rise again and rather than being a matter of character, it feels more like some natural child energy unable to not assert itself, like one of those air-filled bouncing clowns that you used to hit but no matter what would always bounce back and right itself. The child energy feels like one of optimism and lightness that wants to shrug off somber intrusions and continue exploring and playing. At some point though—what event, minor or major it might have been-- the weight and reality of it all did succeed in getting to me and a sense of despair and inevitability settled over me ever after like a shroud. My experience was that no matter how much you fought or resisted or how many times you bounced back, there were stronger forces at work that swallowed you up and they seemed remarkably blind to the extent of the terror and damage they were causing. Like a human hand that swats at a fly—it’s a flick for them, it’s death for the fly. And yet, amazingly, something in me would not die. It could not be killed—not even by me. No matter how irksome, how burdensome, how much harder it made everything, it absolutely and adamantly refused to die or go away.
As a child, I remember lowering the blinds on that part of me, letting it go into hiding from public view or expression. As a child, I knew it was there and could feel its heart beating. But as a child I also had little power or say over it. It owned me more than I owned it. But as I got older, I too turned on it. It brought me nothing but heartache. Mercifully, though, it turned out to be far more clever than myself or any other opponent it encountered and I do believe that it is the heart that beats in me now.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 52, ireland

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Re: 1}Interpretations 2}Childhood Memories

An instance as a young boy that I remember and have focused on more than once is when I was about 8 years old. My father had left the roots leaving my mother to support 4 children. We were living in a government supported housing project {I spent nearly 10 years living in such housing}. I was playing outside early in the morning and there was no one else around. I can remember vividly the thoughts that were going through my head. Surprisingly they were mostly positive {I see that as the natural positive mind of a child}. But there were the thoughts of 'no one around' and the sudden loneliness of the moment.
Another train of thought that I vividly can remember were the parked cars. One model in particular stuck out in my mind. Looking back at that particular car I know now it reminded me of my dad's new car {a 1957 Plymouth}. Needless to say it was associated with memories of my dad, still in a time where I was not seeing him as the bad person he really was. Again the natural positive strength of the childhood mind. This positive aspect in time became less so, I eventually turned inward, became very shy and a bit withdrawn, lived in my own fantasy world {sports being my great emancipator}. It wasn't until I was a junior in high school that I began to climb out of that self imposed world {with the help of a black high school teacher would be the role male model I never had}.

The importance of this memory. It highlights the ending of that 'natural positive' self and focuses on the beginning of my journey inward {different from the chosen inward journey as an adult}. I am an extrovert by design, naturally positive and out going. It was at this age that that natural self that would/should have led to a positive outlook on life changed. Although there were earlier experiences of 'being different' {being poor in my mind's eye was different} it was this particular memory that pointed to the exact changing point in my personality and psyche. As I grew into a teen I became more introverted and had this proud streak, something that came up when charities brought us Christmas baskets. I felt shame at this, what I believe to be a product of that earlier positive self before turning inward. And a sign of my true self after 'coming out' of that unnatural introverted state. You can paint over the outside any color you wish but inside the original color never changes. I was fortunate with the help of others to return to my natural extroverted self and overcome those negative experiences of childhood {I was moderately financially successful in early adulthood and have operated my own business for 30 years}.

But this experience addresses only a part of that young child who as an adult lived out deeper influences associated with the negatives caused from a unloving and self centered father. That took many more years to overcome and it was not until I discovered Joseph Campbell in 1992 that I Began to understand the true power of unconscious motivations from childhood experiences.

One step at a time to recover. One childhood memory, dissected and pondered on, seeing what was there. Then on to another memory and its dissection. This is how I began to see the true person within, and cast out the negative self that had been so controlling throughout my adult life. It is truly an 'individuating' process, an individual examination of each and every aspect that can be remembered, and put into perspective.

gerard/Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Re: 1}Interpretations 2}Childhood Memories

Hi, Jerry.

I'm not sure if this was deliberate or otherwise but you appear to have a typo in "My father had left the roots leaving..."

I thought at first you must have meant to write "roost" and was struck by how rich a clue it would be to inner images and connections if that were the case. From a simple transposing or reversing of two letters.

I'd be curious to know if it was deliberate or an unconscious typo.

Thanks,
Julie

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Re: 1}Interpretations 2}Childhood Memories

Julie,
A typo. It should have been roost. I usually spell check my words but that doesn't correct improper wording or grammar. Of course you can look at his leaving the roost when I was a child as being the roots of many of my adult imperfections {both conscious and unconscious}. Perhaps my unconscious is fixated on the 'root' within the psyche since I do believe so strongly in childhood experiences as the cause to many of our adult actions. And many of those actions are unconscious, 'rooted' from imprinted experiences from childhood.

gerard/Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 58 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Re: 1}Interpretations 2}Childhood Memories

I suppose when I read the "typo", Jerry, I had the image of the roots of a tree underground and you growing up from those roots. You are what we see from what your father set down. And I can't help but wonder what were his hopes and dreams when he did so? And I think it must be those roots you essentially grew out of, Jerry, not what happened later. As a cousin of mine once said to me "Nobody stands in line to be a bitch". And it is so painfully easy to see the harm caused by negative experiences and villainous or beknighted people. And how irresistably tempting it is to see evil or just plain fecklessness as something that lies in others because we know our own motives and reasons and causes and justifications for our slips. We know ourselves and our reasons not to be evil, just misguided at worst. And I know if I want to let myself off the hook, I have to claim something dark in me. And by doing so, I am then forced to acknowledge something other in people it would be so much easier to just see as villains in a story. And as I've said before elsewhere, harm is writ large for us and pain still palpable long after but if those are present in any given circumstance then so too must be their counter and it will be proportionate. I've often thought that as low as you are brought in life, is as high as you can go. And my search is for the jewels hidden in these experiences. And for the search, I keep the image of the rock that encases mineral gems. Its marvel and beauty only revealed when its ordinary casing is cracked open.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 52, ireland

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