When I was a kid, I had a series of dreams that lasted about a week and a half. These dreams were in the same place, but happened day by day within the dreamworld...

I am inside a castle, on an island of sorts, (no vegetation or anything, just a floating chunk of rock). surrounded by lava, within the Earth maybe, I am not sure.

It always begins within this castle, where I am asleep, floating above a slab of stone, I awake and float into a standing position on the ground. There is my room, then a long hallway and a stairway ,circular style in a half circle only on the right that leads down to the next floor.

On the left in the hallway is a small room with a strange looking metal door. The door has faces upon it, demonic faces carved intricately, skillfully, they stare as if alive. The door is about half the height of a normal door. I open the door and a bright light shines into the room drawing me toward another realm.

I find myself in a vast expanse of land, a desert with 3 pyramids in the distance, the sky is scarred red and there are demonic looking creatures roaming around as if looking for something. I am a shadowy figure invisible to most and can only slightly be seen by the more powerful demons. And when I run, I become invisible to everything, even them, I am faster than light. I claw at them with pure energy, slicing through them, tearing through flesh and bone as if it were nothing.

When I grow tired of slaying, I make the doorway back to my castle appear, and once there, return to hovering above my stone bed and back to sleep. That is how all of the recurring dreams ended, except the last, which I will explain soon.

In one of the dreams there was a wizard, and he too was slaying demons. He walked about at leisure and sprayed arcs of lightning from his fingertips.
Well, for some reason, he mistook me for a demon, and blasted lightning at me. From a stopped position he saw me, and it struck me as surprising, but I easily took off like a blur and evaded the attack. I was faster than lightning.

In another of the dreams, I looked into a lake of fire and ice. In the lake there were people, naked people, piled upon eachother and writhing around upon eachother, climbing and clawing, reaching up to get out. But they could not get out, because it was frozen over and they were trapped under the ice, stuck in the fiery pit, a mountain of souls, and I looked away in disgust from the wretched sight.

In yet another of the dreams, I had killed off the last of the beastly creatures tainting the land, and returned to my castle to sleep once more.

Somewhere within all this, there were a few dreams where there were windows into other worlds, and I travelled to them. One of these places was a huge forest of trees at least 10x bigger than the biggest tree currently in existence. Well, while in that realm, I could fly, and I flew from tree to tree exploring and I felt a leaf. The leaf was smooth and felt so very real, the bark of the tree also felt as real as if I were awake, and the trees were wet as if from a fresh rain, I remember a drop of water sliding down the leaf that I felt and drip upon my hand. And no, I did not wet the bed or anything like that when I was a kid, so that doesn't explain it.

But, yea, all this was extremely fun and exciting as it happened in the dreams and it made me happy until the last dream, which just left me even more confused and it frightened me in a way because of just how very real these dreams were. In the last dream I was angry, and felt betrayed, although now that I think about it, maybe I betrayed God without fully realising it as I went to slay an evil he said to leave alone. If this all is not some strange memory of an other-worldly existence, then what does it mean in reality? Keep reading, there's more.

Eventually, I grew tired and felt there was nothing left for me to do but slay the evil dragon that had been chained up, the beast responsible for creating the demonic creatures ... but I was not supposed to ... he did not want me to and I knew not why. I bided my time, and eventually the loneliness and boredom of seemingly no purpose left had gotten to me. I went to slay the dragon, and after a fierce and brutal battle, the dragon had fallen, and when it did, it crashed through the floor, dragging me with it. I fought it off and leaped up, grasping upon the edge of the newly formed abysmal pit. As the dragon is falling into the darkness, to what surely must be his doom, I crawl, nearly dead and completely exhausted out of the pit and pass out. I eventually wake and travel back to my castle to sleep and regain my strength.

In the last of the dreams, I travel a vast distance (this part I do not remember details of), and I am in a bright white room with a throne and children sitting, just sitting and staring at the figure upon the throne. I am assuming that this figure is "God", but what does God mean in psychological terms? ..
Well, noone spoke, I simply heard what he had to say.
I was scorned for killing the dragon, apparently by fighting him I had set him free from his bonds.
And while all this was going on, the walls began to crumble because a demon army was assaulting the walls of Heaven. I did not understand how that was possible at all considering that I had killed them all. I wished to fight them off, but God was furious with me. He sent me into a portal of some sort, that I looked into and seen what would become of me and pleaded for him to change his mind, he refused and I followed his command and entered into the portal, and that was the end of the dreams.

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Matthew,
It is very difficult to understand the dreams of a child since their {children's} psyche are so different from an older person. The fantasies of a child and those of an adult are different also. Childhood dreams and fantasies are usually a product of a developing psyche, fascinated with the developing world around them. Adult dreams with such images usually are associated with conflicting experiences accumulated through the years.

But remembering these dreams for so long of a time may mean something. Looking at the symbols metaphorically may provide insights to your personality {in your childhood they were just beginning to develop}. Slaying dragons is often symbolic of 'slaying' those emotional dragons in life {dragons could represent anything that is a barrier}. The inclusion of God in your dreams may be associated with childhood experiences having to do with religion. As for what God means psychologically, he/she is your highest authority, your highest quality. The fact you are having to slay so many dragons may indicate emotional conflicts as a child. And they could be describing developing personality traits, a feeling you need to confront emotional problems in a negative way. What type personality are you? Does any of the dream contents as a child have any bearing in your life as an adult?

Jerry

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Matthew,
An additional thought. The last paragraph of the dream, "And while all this was going on, the walls began to crumble because a demon army was assaulting the walls of Heaven. I did not understand how that was possible at all considering that I had killed them all. I wished to fight them off, but God was furious with me. He sent me into a portal of some sort, that I looked into and seen what would become of me and pleaded for him to change his mind, he refused and I followed his command and entered into the portal, and that was the end of the dreams."

Does that statement in any way represent your life as an adult? Are you having to fight off emotional conflicts in your life associate with guilt? Do you feel God is furious with you? Again, these early dreams may have been a precursor of developing personality traits. The roots to your personality will have a lot to do with childhood experiences. What was your childhood like and are there experiences that would cause you to have deep emotional conflicts as an adult?

Jerry

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Hmm ... well, ... there was alot happening around me as a child that I could not control.

My parents divorcing, the fact that I was moved around so many times, so no stable home or school, negative emotions of the people around me constantly fighting, few friends and when I did have some we moved, I never really got to live the life of a child.

Both my sister and I (I more than her) were shifted back and forth living with one parent or the other, sometimes with grandparents (probably because they were the only truly responsible ones at the time).

My dad concerned himself mostly with supporting us financially, but not as emotionally as he should have, my mom was concerned that she loves us, as if that would magically be all anyone ever needs, and did very little otherwise, she didn't even cook. When living with mom, she often wasted money, and there was precious little food, rarely clean towels or clothing to wear. Often embarassed to go to school because of my musky smelling clothing, I would stay home as much as I went to school. In school, my teachers weren't much better than my parents, I had to do everything myself and did not think to ask for help, because that is the way it always was and I knew no better. I was almost more of a parent to my younger sister than what they were to us. That covers it on a very broad sense I guess.

When I lived with my dad, who usually was living with his mom, I had clean clothes, plus real food everyday instead of fast food once in awhile, and even a television to watch. Mom actually had a tv at some point but it was black n white and no cable, only 2 channels, one really fuzzy, I used to watch TMNT cartoon on Saturday mornings on the fuzzy channel with my sister. There were usually lousy soap operas on, and news and terrible things like Murphy Brown, the stuff of nightmares.

So, other than a complete annhialation to one's developing psyche.... No, I can't think of anything.

Come to think of it, I'm lucky that I'm addicted to caffeine drinks, television, and videogames, instead of crack or something ... the reason both drugs and videogames are so popular btw, is because there are so many people seeking an escape from reality ... maybe that's all the dreams I had were, an escape from reality, brief intermission from the pain of a terrible life. Perhaps without those dreams, I would be a drug-addict, or dead, or worse, who's to say ... maybe it was an ego boost that I needed because I had nothing else to believe in?

Don't get the wrong idea about my parents though, they weren't intentionally abusive, just a bit neglectful of what a parent should be. It was about them with everything, when it should have been about my sister and I. I guess they were just too young and immature to be parents as it were.

Well, my life is still a mess, but I'm better off than alot of others out there, surely that must count for something, even on my parents part. I don't have fantastic dreams anymore and I miss them because they were indeed fun ... I used to love sleep for the crazy dreams I would have.
Now I sleep out of habit and simply to reboot the brain.

I think the guilt might be that my sister got stuck living with my mom, while I was living at my dads, cause that is when I had the series of dreams. I don't think that was the main aspect of the dreams that I had though, and so should not be focused upon too much.

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Just curious what your thoughts on that dream are now that I've given you some personal background on my childhood.

I could also tell you some supernatural happenings while I was awake that I can't completely explain, but you'd think I was joking and probably dismiss it all as some illusory waking dream-state.

My aunt once lived in a haunted house ... I always wanted to visit where she used to live because of the strange things I've seen, but I never got to.

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Matthew,
I'll provide a response in the morning. The mind is beginning to drag from all the social requirements {work}. Best to try and provide my thoughts after a good night's rest.

Jerry

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Matthew,
Your early childhood, much of which I can identify with because I had similar experiences, could be reflected in your dreams, but with the twist of the natural positive childhood psyche with fantasies and the stunted growth you were experiencing at that age. Slaying demons would be slaying those unnatural conditions in which you were raised. But your psyche was still developing and the negative influences may well have been played out in your dreams using symbols and metaphor {dragons being those negative forces you faced}. But we must remember a childhood psyche is not yet fully developed and the integration of waking life conditions and unconscious forces witnessed in your dreams are most likely a mixture of those true experiences and the fantasies children normally have. It would be those natural fantasies that make the dreams seem so weird.

As for your life still being a mess. We can't say your childhood was the only reason for that but we can surmise it put you on the path of having a messed up life. My own stunted growth had repercussions well into adulthood and it was not until my mid 30s that I began overcome them. Even with that it was not until I discovered Jungian psyche that I began to understand the influences of childhood and started the healing process {where those childhood influences no longer unconsciously controlled my actions}. Perhaps the same therapy that gave me a new life can help you. That therapy is Jung's Individuation Process. This is a process that requires discipline and time. Don't look for any quick fixes because they don't exist. But if you will follow the path prescribed you will in time find wholeness and harmony in your life.

Jerry

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It's encouraging to know that someone out there has been able to overcome circumstances similar to my own.

Thank You sincerely for that. This is the best response I could have hoped for. I'll look into the Jungian way of understanding the psyche.

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Matthew,
I like your positive response. That bolds well for your future.
I read an article this morning that may help us understand the lack of personal growth in children from neglected childhoods. I have always thought my personal growth was stunted because of the poor conditions I was raised in. This article seems to support that thinking.
Research Links Poor Kids' Stress, Brain Impairment.

I don't believe I have any real brain impairment but I have had memory problems as long as 'I can remember'. Those involved memorizing details. Literature was not one of my strong suites. But grammar was {go figure}. Perhaps it had to do with the interest involved in the learning process of each subject.

The good news is my personal growth has been restored. Of course that can be attributed to discovering Jung. And the great interest {a natural interest} I have in the subject of the psyche and dreams. It is something that fits, a part of that bliss my soul identifies with in this human life.

Perhaps the answer is in Campbell's call 'to follow your bliss'. Have you discovered what the bliss is in your life?

Jerry

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