I am a conman, with a group of people at a shopping centre. The centre is closing but I have stayed behind after it has closed. It is the beginning of my 'life of crime'. The security guards have been alerted to us and are coming looking for us.

I dress in woman's clothing (specifically a short skirt and purple panties) and stand as a dummy in a shop window to try to fool security. They recognise us but aren't sure if we are dummys or not. They say they will come back later and if we have moved slightly they know we are not dummy's.

After they have gone I steal a car which is on display as a prize for a raffle with the rest of the gang [I seem to be the leader]. Security chase us but we manage to get away.

Their is a brief 'fast forward' of a sense of several adventures and schemes.

It is now some time into the future. I have a fine house, I have a feeling of sophistication. I am in my mansion with my cleaner. She is telling me that the security from the initial part of the dream is in town and hot on my trail. I get the sense that I have alluded this authority for some time. He wants to catch me.

The cleaner tells me I must give myself in, it is the only way to lead the life I want to lead. She gives the impression that after I give myself in I will be free to do as I please.

I agree that I must give myself in. I feel that it will destroy the game we have going if I give myself in freely, and will be a final victory over the authority. My belief however is that I will be 'going away for a long time'. I have the impression that I have become more than a conman, I have additionally become an assassin.

I tell the cleaner that I want her to manage my estate while I am away.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27 - Perth, Western Australia

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Hi Rook,

I have some beginning thoughts on this dream, but I have not had the opportunity to spend more time with it. I may find time over the weekend.

Kristi

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Rook,
Same here. I will have more time to examine it this weekend. With the 3 of us working on it I think there is a good chance we will decipher the symbolic language code.

Let's take a quick look.

There seems to be a focus on 'security', and perhaps authority. The 'security' may be related to unconscious content that has just begun to be consciously understood.

The mansion with the 'cleaner'. The 'conman' and security chasing you. Authority, a crime, breaking the law, a sin. Could it involve guilt? Security from the first part of your dream {She is telling me that the security from the initial part of the dream} may be related to a guilty conscience.

The assassin would be a guilty conscience. You wish to rid yourself of the guilt. It may be something you've had linger over you for a long time {'going away for a long time'}. The game may be with yourself. The authority is your higher authority, overcoming a guilty conscience.

Does any of the aobve fit anywhere within your waking life?

Jerry

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Hi Rook,

Searching for yourself by shopping in the world of things. A con man (confidence man) is someone who exploits the confidence of his victim, who defrauds someone after winning his trust. There may be a part of you that feels guilty, that it is criminal, to want to find your own identity. If so, this most certainly arose as a result of childhood conditioning. This part of you is willing to be (dress yourself) and pretend to be other than as you really are. Indeed, con your own self, as learned. And this is the piece my attention continues to be drawn to...the very opening of the dream which sets the stage for what follows, the psychic mechanism of being a conman. Who are you fooling? My sense is that the primary message of this is directed to your own self, that it is not addressing deception in your interaction with others in life, but with your own self. Any deception in your interaction with the world is secondary to this. Did you, as a child, pretend to be other than as you were, dummy up (or down) and dress/become other than who you truly are? Did you learn to feel that you did not have the right/could not be your own self? And hence are still searching for this, but not sure you actually have the permission to do so. The scrutinizing eyes of security would be the eyes of an inner authority. Again, this aspect most likely developed as a result of your childhood experience with mom and dad (authority). Is a part of you frozen in an image of yourself that was not your own choosing? Things in life may not have been given freely. You may have learned to believe that you have to steal your way through life, because true love and acceptance was not given freely, and became traded for status symbols (taking of the prize car, fine house, sophistication). I would trust the advice of the cleaner. She is instructing that you come clean with yourself, be true to yourself, so that you may be/feel free. I think she gives you an invitation, asks you to truthfully examine your life experience and discern where these psychic mechanisms of guilt and criminality in being your own self come from... Only, you will need to be there with her in the cleaning of the home of you, the false estate that has developed within you. See, she asks you to come clean, to do some psychic housecleaning to set the aforementioned matters of the dream straight within you, but your ego thinks punishment (going away to jail).

Our sense of punishment and authority come primarily from our experience with our parents, who are as the institution of God to children. You still have the effects of your childhood conditioning with Mom and Dad pursuing you.

I am some wondering if this look into your psyche was catalyzed by the recent exchange of information in Justin's "Can't proceed" thread, your contemplation of those matters discussed. When one feels "less than," it is normal to want "more than." And, again, when things were not given freely in life, love becomes a play/"game" of give and take, not at all real, but rather empty feeling (like a mannequin/dummy). These kinds of interactions, or bartering and trading of what we think is love happens in all families. And if you look deeply, you can see that most children are of an energy that is as if competing for acceptance and approval in the world, trying to steal (if you will) this energy anywhere they can...the energy of acceptance that was/is not given well enough/freely by one's mother and father. Indeed, most people go to their grave this way, having never had their most basic need for true love met (which ultimately must come from one's self/Self), still at the level of emotional development of a 4 or 5 year old.

Kristi

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Guys, thank you!

I have been puzzling over this myself, and come up with a similar theme but not quite as in depth. I think I can see what you are both alluding to.

Jerry – a situation that you are perfectly describing is myself and my partner. The con I am pulling is being her husband. There is an element of guilt there for me, I have done things in a different order mainly due to the circumstances of our meeting. When we met she was a single mother with a child. She had what I always wanted, a happy fun family, though I could she was clearly struggling. I had just graduated from uni and gotten my first paycheck. I wasn’t well off, yet, but I knew I could provide better than she had.

Everyone around me and even my own head to a degree was saying “don’t go there, you can do better, you don’t need to commit to that”. But I was moved by these beautiful people, and had fallen in love. For the second time in my life I went against my head and what others said and followed my heart. The second best decision I ever made.

Greedily, I wanted to have children young too. I didn’t want to be like my brother who is a serious DINK. Once again everyone was against my decision to start a family with her. It wasn’t ‘proper’ society wise, but between me and her, it ‘felt’ right. So we had a son. That was THE best decision of my life.

We have stuck together through a lot, we have learnt a lot. But I was poor. Now I am making some good money, have bought my own house, and I am on solid ground. The guilt that I have felt is that we are not married. See my partner hasn’t had the most romantic life, and I have always wanted to provide her what she deserves. For me getting married is more than an act of commitment, it is a celebration of our finding each other, casting off the bonds that tried to keep us apart and making the right decision. And I don’t want it to be a poor man’s wedding. To me that would be upsetting, not providing her with what she deserves. She says she just wants to get married, but from my understanding the wedding day is possibly THE biggest day of a woman’s life, and if I regretted the quality of that day which I provided it would haunt me the rest of my life.

Hence I have waited, playing the part of her husband even though I am defacto partner. People at work keep calling her my wife, and I have stopped correcting them. To them I am a married man, and there is a pang of guilt every time they say it. So it is painful when I bring in the fantastic cakes she provides my office with. But at the same time I bristle with pride (every other man in the office is extremely jealous). I know her love is one of the greatest blessings of my life, along with the family we are building [there is another bun in the oven ;)]

Anyhow, now is the time to propose, but I am procrastinating, I am not sure why. There is a shove here perhaps in that direction.

Kristi – I think you are definitely on the right track for the ‘big picture’ of this dream. I was considering the image of dressing up as a dummy as relating to my persona. That I was conning the world by presenting an outer image that is not in relation to what is truly inside. That was a true statement to me, I certainly am not myself when I am at work (where I spend the majority of my time unfortunately). I am playing the part of the professional, even though my workplace is quite a fun place to be and most people in my office don’t fit the typical professional role.

But the deeper level that I think you have touched on, that only briefly crossed my mind is that I am conning myself.

It was interesting reading your first paragraph, that you state that I perhaps feel guilty about seeking my true self. When I left high school and was deciding what to do at University I had no idea where to go. I enjoyed maps so I put that down as a preference, but my mother who knew I enjoyed geography persuaded me to put geology as my number 1 preference. I was accepted and studied geology. It was boring. I didn’t enjoy it much at all. Yet I studied it for two years. Finally I had a eureka moment when I was on a field trip, working on a geological map of a study area in the middle of nowhere. I was loving drawing the map. It was fantastic figuring out where I was, marking down the locations on the map then going back to the accommodation and marking it all out. The eureka moment was when the tutor was with us looking at a rock formation. He was talking about how fantastic and beautiful the rocks were, with such conviction and passion. To me it was just a rock. It then dawned on me that my passion was for drawing those maps.

I knew I had to change courses, so I did it. But I felt so guilty I didn’t tell my parents for a whole semester. I felt guilty because I wasn’t being what I perceived they wanted me to be. When I did tell them they weren’t upset that I changed courses, they were upset that I felt I had to hide it from them.

My parents did encourage me to do things in my youth. It was good in a way, but I think this has lead to the situation this dream is speaking of. I HAD to do SOMETHING, and as long as I was doing something there was nothing to fix. But I didn’t get to explore a lot of different activities, and it had to be ‘safe’. Particularly if my brother liked something, I would most likely like it. False, me and my brother are completely different, and different things make us tick. He likes slow paced battles of strategy and cunning where I like fast paced action and intensity. That’s why he is a goalie in hockey, and I was the goal scorer. But that only came in my teens when I was allowed to decide to do something that would break bones.

It was good in a way because I am a procrastinator, and would put off trying new things for too long. But I think that this past has a lot to do with this guilt complex about finding my true self. Along with my sense of going along with the flow. I have always been conditioned that way and I am not sure why. I would rather just let things happen and play out rather than speak my mind and put a spanner in the works. I think that could be part of that which keeps my true self from its expression.

Could the con-man role though, could it be representative of the ego-self? Hence, as the cleaner says, my Self will continue on instantly after I give myself to the inner (spiritual?) authority. But the ego-Self will be ‘locked up’ so to speak, hence it will be going away for a long time – the symbol of the helicopter crashing in my other dreams.

The biggest challenge for me is how I go about this step in the conscious world. I don’t really get how I help the cleaner. How to get in touch with my true self. I suppose it is not something that is easy to explain or even contemplate. I think my biggest hang up has been something you stated in your first line.

“Searching for myself by shopping in the world of things.” I look at Religion, esoteric, the occult for clues on this inner journey. But the keyword I think I am missing is the inner part. Most of my activity in this are is external applications, which usually lead nowhere fast. Perhaps I need to trust my own inner self more? Delve into my self through meditation / contemplation of my own inner world.

Hmmm, food for thought. My thanks Kristi and Jerry. Any further discussion would be most welcome and of high value.

Cheers,
Rook

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27 - Perth, Western Australia

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Hi Rook,

Could the con-man role though, could it be representative of the ego-self? Hence, as the cleaner says, my Self will continue on instantly after I give myself to the inner (spiritual?) authority. But the ego-Self will be ‘locked up’ so to speak, hence it will be going away for a long time – the symbol of the helicopter crashing in my other dreams.

I did not study the helicopter dream thread well enough to comment on that. When I have more time, I can look back at it. Yes, the conman would be an aspect of your ego, a shadow aspect you have not consciously been aware of before, hence your dream bringing him to you...and the scenarios you describe with your family may well have been a part of what led to the development of this aspect. Though many(most) of our shadow aspects begin their development in our childhood, if you study yourself as you are today, remembering the dream characters, you may find how they interact with your outer world. I feel the key rests in seeing where our shadow aspects originated in our childhood and then following their manifestation in our personalities as they interact with the world, and indeed, our own self.

The biggest challenge for me is how I go about this step in the conscious world. I don’t really get how I help the cleaner. How to get in touch with my true self. I suppose it is not something that is easy to explain or even contemplate. I think my biggest hang up has been something you stated in your first line.

It takes time, BUT you are already doing it! I suggest just continuing to be open to what your dream characters are speaking to you. Try to get your mind out of the way and let them speak to you. Even that may appear at first easier said than done, but with practice, it comes. Try to "feel" them. Most people go through the analytical process of their dreams without taking the time to feel them, and I think that the feeling energy is most important to identifying what needs resolution. The feeling of our dream ego in the process, and the characters presented to us.

“Searching for myself by shopping in the world of things.” I look at Religion, esoteric, the occult for clues on this inner journey. But the keyword I think I am missing is the inner part. Most of my activity in this are is external applications, which usually lead nowhere fast.

Sometimes we need the outer to help us discover what is inside. BUT it is all inside. Anything you may see refelcted outside, in another, in a teaching, IS already INSIDE. And it would be well if all teaching taught this, pointed one back to their own self/Self, for it is there. Unfortunately, many teachings would keep us (and our mind that is trained to grasp afeter things) going in circles. Some say the process is so difficult because truly it is so simple. We've learned to believe that everything in life is hard won. Perhaps the hardest won thing is resting the part of us seeking and realizing that it is the very thing it is looking for... It is said that "God" is closer than our very nose. But we have learned to look outside and to expect thunderbolt and lightning like experiences. And even searching after spiritual experiences can be a form of competition, the ego wanting what it sees others having. We forget the paradox that we cannot perceive what is not already a part of us. It is there, only slightly hidden by our too busy minds. We just have to turn around and we may bump into it! Mother Nature is expressive in her shows, but it is said that the ground of being from which everything arises is perfect stillness. Our egos don't want that. They want something showy, something dramatic, 'cuz that is what they know/are used to.

Just some of my own thoughts.

Perhaps I need to trust my own inner self more? Delve into my self through meditation / contemplation of my own inner world.

Yeppir, you got it!

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

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Rook,
The dream statement, "The cleaner tells me I must give myself in, it is the only way to lead the life I want to lead. She gives the impression that after I give myself in I will be free to do as I please".

'It is the only way to lead the life I want to lead'. Giving yourself in may represent giving in to what you know is best. As I read it you are reluctant to propose marriage. If my experience serves me correct {I have had friends in unmarried relationships for many years who eventually married and all are still together} a woman is not whole in a relationship until she is proposed to and indeed married. And your post seems to say the same thing about yourself, not being whole until the relationship is legally consummated.

Is your reluctance due to your own fears or the fear of rejection? I dare say rejection would only happen for some emotional reason on her part. You have already made your commitment to her, and she to you, long ago so why not do the right thing and get married. Legally it would be for the best if for nothing else your children.
Objective thinking should always accompany subjective emotions. It is the one true balance we can count on.

But it may be that you are a procrastinator. That isn't a good enough reason not to marry. Giving in is usually what happens after procrastination. You give in to what you have been putting off, something you know you should do, eventually. The con-man be that procrastinating part of you.

The cleaner. Could that not be the part of you that is the procrastinator that needs to be 'cleaned up'? It probably is eluding to other aspects of your psyche but may fit with the relationship as well as any other aspect.

The inner search
In my mind it is about one main objective. Searching your own life for those underlying causations to who you are. A self psychology. If one goes looking for a spiritual aspect they usually end up with a religion. Religion is at best a temporary reprieve from what ails you. Spirituality is about naturally being who you are, and living in accord with all of nature. It is an evolutionary aspect that fits us all, if we only give in to that nature self.

If one goes looking for a creative aspect before discovering that inner ground, there is a good chance that creative aspect will only come to haunt the person. What flows from the creative mind is the deepest and darkest aspects within. If those demons have not already been confronted then the creative self will display those negatives, as it is does in our dreams. We can see what happens to great creative talents who have yet to confront their darkest demons. They self destruct.

If one searches for the gold within thinking it is merely a search inward that will discover the riches within life, there will only be fool's gold to be discovered. Nothing has changed in the life. To be a fool inside is to be the most foolish outside.

I have spent the past 17 years, and still spend a lot
of time, exploring my life. I often take one period of time, most often when I was a child or younger teen, and examine it with the eye of that third person. I am able to see clearly what was there during those years. This is a part of that self examination, a complete analysis of the self. For me that is the inner search. And with each new discovery comes a richness of knowing who I am, today, and why I am who I am. There is the gold, and when thoroughly searched the creative, the spiritual, the gold all naturally comes about. Jung's Individuation Process is that inner search. It is a life long journey to understanding one life. But in the process in the discovery one finds so many positive aspects that are most often kept buried if not for that 'individualized' search. The hero's journey is the Individuated' process.
At least that is the assumption I live by, and use in my attempt to understand life, my own as well as the world around me.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Guys

My thanks, I have been absorbing all this information over time and it is very eye-opening and encouraging.

I am excited.

Cheers,
Rook

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27 - Perth, Western Australia

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