Hi, these are two recent dreams. I do feel I understand them pretty well, but there is more to be gained, so I'd like some input from any who feel they may have some insight.

Dream 1: I am seeing myself in the Army again, as if I have re-entered the Army after the time I left it several years ago. I am in a large stairwell, as were common in the construction in many of the buildings/barracks I frequented in the military. I stop and talk with Anthony Mendenz. We are speaking about a draw-down/reduction in forces. News has come that 60 members will be asked to leave our unit/the service. This will soon be announced formally. Higher up the stairwell, I meet with Michael Rudnicki. I tell Michael that I have heard this news, and that I feel I will one of those first asked to leave. He pulls me closely aside to speak more privately with me, to gently tell me that he understands my sadness and that this is best for me. Scene changes. I am out of doors, jogging/running. The weather is nice, the sun is shining. I am in a residential area that does not feel at all associated to the military, but more of my now, in an influential area of Kansas City. I am not wearing an Army physical training uniform, but my own shorts and t-shirt. Inside, I do not feel myself. The consciousness inside of me is strange/foreign feeling, and I want to know "me." As I come to waking consciousness, I immediately think of an earlier dream scene, from 2004:

The earlier dream: Strangely, I wake a short time later, with the sense of a woman being/laying unconscious, while two men are pruposefully dressing her, protectively, inconspiculously, in Army fatigues (there is a feeling reference to “mother”).

Dream 2: I am walking on a congested highway where the cars are at a standstill. There is a man with me, walking some bit ahead of me. He gets into a vehicle that is a white step van. I go to the passenger side door and speak to the driver. He is an oriental man. He has a wound, only one leg. His right leg is missing. There is something wrong with one of his hands, too. The diameter of the steering wheel is very small, about 7” across. I get into the vehicle and notice that the man who was walking outside with me is sitting in a back/rear seat of the step van. There is also another man, an oriental/foreigner sitting in another rear seat. I am about to sit in the passenger seat when the driver, who is already getting out of his seat, says to me, “Don’t you want to drive?” Well, yes, I feel, and proceed to get into the driver’s seat. As soon as I sit in the driver’s seat, the traffic on the road begins to move. I press the gas pedal so as to not stall the traffic behind me. I notice it was my left foot that pushed the gas pedal. It is on the wrong side! As the van moves forward, I find that the vehicle wants to pull to the left and the steering wheel is hard to control. Not only is it too small but it also does not have power assisted steering. The vehicle has swerved left, but I gain control and get the van going straight down the road, as I say to the men that the vehicle is hard to steer.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

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Kristi,
Perhaps this dream is a sign you are finally putting those past negative 'masculine' experiences behind you. A reduction of forces with 60 members leaving {I think of 6 as representing the final conflict to becoming whole - 9 upside down}. This is the 'best' that could happen to you.

And what happens we you are finally able to put those negatives behind you? The weather is nice {inner weather}, the sun is shining, which naturally prompts you to get to know your inner self {I want to know "me"}.

Second Dream

"As soon as I sit in the driver’s seat, the traffic on the road begins to move".

Taking control of your emotional life is when you begin to move past the influences of the past negatives in your life. Exploring the inner Self, pulling to the left {the 'left hand path' of the hero journey. It is a hard thing to do {steering wheel} this heroic endeavor to individuation. Staying the path, despite the ego's resistance to follow.

In the second dream all the characters are male except for you. Is this what the problem is, overcoming that indoctrinated masculine self? The oriental man is lacking one leg. That masculine aspect may the part of you that realizes a newed for balance {oriental philosophies do a better job of balancing masculine/feminine aspects}. And one leg may suggest a need for better balance. That feminine part of you has been wounded, perhaps due to a too strong of a masculine self.

"but I gain control and get the van going straight down the road, as I say to the men that the vehicle is hard to steer."

Confronting those negative masculine aspects is important to bring about true balance. Say to your 'inner men', I am taking control.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Yes, Jerry, thank you for that.

I just wrote (am almost finished) a response to myself on this, and will still go ahead and post it, for it does illustrate what you are here saying.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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The brief dream piece from 2004 came at an intense time of review of my childhood experiences via my dreams. It was preceded by a dream segment that showed some of the dynamics of my childhood life experience with the "negative mother."

Is it not interesting that I went onto a life in the military where "negative mother/negative masculine" prevailed in a big way, on an archetypal level?

In a very real sense, my psyche became dressed in negative mother. The same thing the child I was wanted to get away from... Oh, how we take us with us wherever we go!

But thank goodness for the Anthony's and Michael's who remind me, again, that more of this negative mother/masculine needs to go!

I had two more dreams Friday evening which made this all much more clear. I won't be posting those as there is no need, now. But it is worth mentioning that our continuing to pay attention to the messages of our dreams, getting the message, allows the forward movement. The more we work with our psychic goo is the more we are released from it. Although my dreams were not responded to (however, during my writing of this, Jerry has responded), here, my posting them was as an affirmation of my want for greater understanding. I was searching for the resolution, and psyche faithfully responded with the information that made it clear.

The consciousness I felt inside of me as I was running was "negative masculine/negative mother."

It is also worth noting that it also had me to remember a recurring dream from my childhood, my teenage years where I would find myself outide of my home running to go, get away, but not getting anywhere. There was a feeling of much movement, wanting my freedom from all the ill effects of my childhood, but not making any ground with it.

But, now, I am running to freedom and I know, can clearly see, what has been driving my life.

It dawned on me only yesterday that the oriental man may have been highligting/mirroring a recent experience I have had at work...

There is a lady I am working with that is the same age as me. While she is african american (not oriental), she is shadow/foreign to me. SHE has a leg amputation and a severe wound on one of her hands. Her wounds match the left side gas pedal and right hand of the oriental man.

She has a super huge negative mother/negative masculine, a hidden rage, that did erupt one day when she threw items in her room complaining that therapy made her mad...this after we scheduled a family meeting to discuss her progress in therapy. I had been uncomfortable with her (buttons being pushed as I looked in the mirror) in the face of all that negativity, did not know how to get through to her. I tried to speak gently and affirming, trying to win her confidence, to assure her that I was there to help her learn to walk again. But she was extremely manipulative, like a angered animal/child, wanting everyone to meet her peck and call. She was uncooperative and disrespectful. In the family meeting, I repeated all of the same things I said to her before, but this time very firmly and directly, telling, again, that I am there for her, but that her progress is up to her, her participation and willingness to accept the help being offered, pointing out all the ways she interferes with what help she could be receiving. She became irate and demanded a new therapist. She did not get a new therapist. I was not sure how our next appointment would go. This was my challenge, to learn from. Normally, we go to get patients from their room, but we decided we needed to make it her responsibility to come to the rehab gym. As it turned, she arrived on time for her scheduled therapy. I prayed over the event. This whole past week, she has demonstrated a radical change attitude. I am now the only one she trust with the weight of her body, to hold and support her as she learns to walk again. She has a complex disease process and has also lost motor control in the remaining lower extremity. When I stood in front of her when she arrived for her first appointment after that fateful meeting, I prayed again, placed the safety belt around her waist, crouched before her and wrapped by arms around her waist, securing her body weight via the safety belt and told her to wrap her arms around my shoulders as if hugging me, that I could better control her body weight in that manner. She did. My body let off a huge wave of compassion. And she found herself comfortable in my arms. She is now eager for her recovery, seeing her possibilities, her potential, more social, more open/outgoing with all of the staff, etc.

BUT, what does all of this say about me? What is it mirroring to me? As the inside, so the outside...

It shows that I am becoming more comfortable with working with my own negative mother/masculine, more embracing of that, taking charge, bringing more healing to that. It shows how it cripples us in life. It shows that I have gotten into the driver's seat. It is difficult, but I am taking charge/control of it, learning to respond appropriately, both for myself and for the benefit of others. I also still have a primal rage that I am learning to tame, learning to love, as have I been since my wild boar dream in the archaic space - Jerry, you'll remember that one.

I have wrote this rather fast and have ommitted greater details/understanding, but I think I covered the gist of things.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

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jerry,

Oh, yes, the oriental man "gives me" the driver's seat. I did not ask for it. I think it illustrates that my work with this aspect of my psyche has paid off. The heroine (me) IS taking charge.

The oriental man also made me think of the story of the "loyal soldier" - which comes from a real life tale of a group of Japanese soldiers on an island, who, years after the war had ended, were discovered and found to still be stuck in the psychic space of protecting/fighting the war which was no more.

Also, Jerry, the jammed up traffic can be illustrating how such negative attitudes/energies jam up the flow of energy (cars) within us.

Conversely, it shows that this energy is ready to be released.

The other dreams of Friday that I mentioned but did not post speak to this being ready for release...and I will tend to that, safely, and in great love.

I am thankful for the grace that guides me.

You wrote: Confronting those negative masculine aspects is important to bring about true balance. Say to your 'inner men', I am taking control.

Yes!


Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

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