in the dream,


i was going down a hill on a bicycle.


i saw the girl i liked doing the same thing.


at the bottom of the hill was merely a body of water.


when we reached the bottom we crashed into the water.


when i came up from the water we were now swimming.


some friends of hers were now somehow with us.


at one point...i tried to kiss her but then she said something about 'my ex might not like it.'


i have an *idea* what this means but am not sure.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 21

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Daniel,
At your age current life experiences probably have a lot to do with the dream content, and its message. In other words the dream may be focusing on recent waking experiences with the deeper aspects being secondary.

As for the deeper aspect the dream may be addressing emotions focused on the decline of feminine qualities within your psyche. As for current waking issues there may be recent experiences having to do with the decline of relationships with female acquaintances. If you have an idea what the dream is about it would be best to provide those. 'Guessing' on my part can only fog the intent of the dream. By providing what you believe the focus of the dream we can get a better idea what the real intent of the dream is and if your assumptions are indeed correct.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

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i think that the dream is about me feeling maybe some guilt over the fact that i like this girl instead of my ex...the girl happens to be a friend of my ex...that's why she said that about my ex.



i still don't know what the whole going downhill on bikes with her and crashing into the water meant though.


i know the water itself is most likely about my emotional state amidst this situation.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 21

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Daniel,
Your assumptions could be a good possibility. I wish you could provide more indepth of your thoughts. If you merely focus on the outer content of your dreams, something you seem to do in general, there will be little reason to interpret your dreams. Everyday experiences are common place in dreams. They merely confirm the mundane emotions dealing with those experiences. But what about the deeper emotions. That is the primary reason to interpret your dreams, to get to the source of who you are, why you do the things you do, why you may like one girl while dating another.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

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alright.


well, let me just say this...


at the time that i had this dream, this girl was NOT in my life...nor is she now.


it had been 7-8 months since i had broken up with my ex as well.


i really don't know how to articulate the "process" of how i started being interested in this other girl other than to say that i just REMEMBER her while still dating my ex...again...this girl is a FRIEND of my ex.


2 years ago, i went into the military but was discharged shortly after.


and it was during my short time in there that these feelings of this girl started developing...thinking about my relationship with my ex, and thinking about that time period of my life, this was when i started thinking THIS WAY about her friend.


not long after returning home, i just started diving in thinking about my relationship with my ex and thinking about that time of my life even more.


so...that's when i had this dream.


i still haven't made contact with this girl since having this dream and all the other dreams i've posted on here.


the BICYCLE, the DOWNHILL, the CRASHING INTO THE WATER...that imagery i'd still like to figure out.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 21

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

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Hi Daniel,

You wrote: "...and it was during my short time in there that these feelings of this girl started developing..."

What were the feelings? You shared a bunch of facts, which is some helpful, but what were you "feeling," what was going on in your inner world at the time after you returned home from your attempt in the military?

Our feelings/emotions are the most important element in dream interpretation.

Kristi

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yes...


i mean feelings of attraction and interest...romantic feelings.


and again...THIS girl is NOT my ex...she is merely a FRIEND of my ex.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 21

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

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Daniel,

How did you feel about the military? What were your feelings (about yourself) during the short time you were in the military? And, subsequently, when discharged? Feelings about the military? Not the girl.

Let's stick to this (military)for now. And perhaps you will be able to see how your dream may be advising you. This may also help to answer the question in your next post...regarding your dreams NOT being congruent with real life. Dreams are compensatory. Likewise, sometimes our waking life actions/daydreams (thoughts) are also compensatory...for the feelings/things we'd rather not acknowledge. Dreams, when understood properly, help us to better understand ourselves...why we do the things we do, why we are the way we are, etc.

Kristi

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after coming out, i was soon met with the reality that i was 19 and needed to be doing something with myself.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 21

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Hi Daniel,

Thanks for responding. What you said is an idea/thought.

The dreams are addressing the emotions, the inner world of feeling.

What were your motivations for enlisting in the military? What were your hopes and dreams? What did you wish to accomplish/achieve? And why were you discharged? Talk feelings/emotions, not thoughts/ideas. Be honest with and try to "feel" yourself.

Kristi

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the motivation was i needed to do something and this was the quickest way.


however, getting in there i just stopped thinkig about why i was there.


i'd rather not talk about the circumstances surrounding my discharge.


i'd like SOONER than later to get some feedback on this dream instead of continuing this dance.


this dream has nothing to do with the military.


it has to do with my ex and the other girl.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 21

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Dan,

I am going to try to mirror something back to you:

First, Jerry's words, from earlier in this thread: "If you merely focus on the outer content of your dreams, something you seem to do in general, there will be little reason to interpret your dreams. Everyday experiences are common place in dreams. They merely confirm the mundane emotions dealing with those experiences. But what about the deeper emotions. That is the primary reason to interpret your dreams, to get to the source of who you are, why you do the things you do..."

Then, your own words:

2 years ago, i went into the military but was discharged shortly after.

and it was during my short time in there that these feelings of this girl started developing...thinking about my relationship with my ex, and thinking about that time period of my life, this was when i started thinking THIS WAY about her friend.

not long after returning home, i just started diving in thinking about my relationship with my ex and thinking about that time of my life even more.

so...that's when i had this dream.

And, now you say:

the motivation was i needed to do something and this was the quickest way.

however, getting in there i just stopped thinkig about why i was there.

i'd rather not talk about the circumstances surrounding my discharge.

And I pause to offer that my intent for the "dance," as you call it, is not fruitless, but intended to get you thinking and feeling ... thinking about why you feel what you feel/have felt, for yourself, without someone handing you an answer. Myself and a few others have tried to give you some helpful suggestions (answers?), before, but your responses have indicated that you rejected them. Life in not concrete. Though many people think in black and white, only this or that, it is not the way life truly is. There is not a simple answer. I offered you the simplest one above when I reminded that dream are often compensatory...that this is why your dreams are not congruent with your waking life.

Do you understand what it means when it is said that dreams are compensatory? Could you give me some feedback on that?

Now, about your dream. I wager it does have much to do with the military experience.

I am retired from the US Army and I well know that the military is a testosterone driven environment. Harsh and hard driving. Either you cut the mustard or you don't! Sort of thing. These feelings are perhaps their strongest during one's first year (first months, even more so) of service. That you'd rather not talk about it, seems to indicate it was not a positive experience for you. Did you have a sense of failure?

And, when you returned, were you looking/needing something to comfort you, in a sense, build you back up, assure you of your manhood? Indeed, even while you were in the service and began thinking about her? Perhaps this gave you a sense of your manhood? Were you searching for that (sense of identity) that you might not have been to experience/feel in the Army? Maybe?

The dreams have to do with your "feelings," but much as I have encouraged you to look at and respond about your feelings, you continue to "dance" around them.

If you are to understand your dreams, you must learn to embrace/acknwledge your feelings.

Dreams are generally NOT predictive. They are "symbolic." Though relationship is a possibility in everone's life, just because you dream about being intimately involved with another does not mean that you are or will be, with her.

It may show that a part of you desires/wishes for this. I have heard it said that (some dreams) are a wish our heart's make...and I think this (sometimes, is the truth with dreams). And while it is quite normal for a man your age to be very interested in women, it is good to examine all of your life when considering your dreams.

Dreams try to balance the outer personality, often showing what is lacking and why.

Water has to do with emotions. The going down hill on a bike may be showing a decline of emotions. I beleive Jerry said this. May this have to do with a sense of failure in the military?

Thinking on and searching in your mind (for females/relationship) may be the comensatory action.

Perhaps, the dreams are not at all saying you are or will be in a realtionship with any of these girls, now, or even in the future (though there will be others). Note, the girl was also going down hill on a bicycle. Is it saying that you also feel you failed in relationship? Are these the water you were swimming in? Crashed into? After the fall with the military? She may, simultaneously be reflecting your own inner feminine (feeling function) that was on a decline since your time in the military (and perhaps even before then). That you continue to search the dreams, years after the fact, suggest you are still swimming in the waters (EMOTIONS/unconscious). And it will be good to continue swimming in them, with skill, so that you may come to know your own self on another level, why you do and feel and think the things you do.

The girl does not let you kiss her... The dream leaves you with a sense of guilt...

If in fact you did have a feeling of failure regarding the military (but I suspect this may not be honestly acknowledged by you if it is the case [demonstrated by your refusal to be honest with yourself and talk about it], for we all make excuses for ourself in the face of failure, as it is not a comfortable feeling), not only is the going down hill on bicycle reflecting this to you, but also the girl refusing your kiss. She tells you that your ex might not like it. Definately guilt, for feeling. It is as though she is telling you to not even feel (that you would like to enjoy/experience a kiss) because so and so may not like it/be upset.

Now, the harder part comes here... If in fact there are feelings of guilt ... and the dream and your own sense of it does confirm this, you will need to ask, where did the feelings of guilt come from? Guilt is not something you learned only at that time of your life. It came earlier as does it in all of our lives. We learn guilt as a young child, and it perpetuates. Sooooo many relationships barter in guilt dramas.

In joining the military, were you trying to separate yourself from family, to know your own individuality? And did you feel you let your family/maybe especially your mother, down? Did you fail in their/her eyes? Is that why you cannot enjoy the kiss and feel good about yourself? Is this why you cannot forgive yourself for not cutting the mustard in the military?

So, this was alot, to try to help you, and get you to thinking about why you feel and think and dream the things you do. But again, there are no easy answers. Understanding your dreams is going to require that you do some inner work. Myself, or any other cannot hand you an answer. We can only make suggestions as to what the meaning may be based on our own experience. Coming clear with your dreams is going to require your own gut level honesty (with your world of feelings and intelligence) and ivestigation into your life and conditioning. When you do this, you will begin to feel some satisfaction in working with and understanding your dreams.

I hope this helps...and that it shows, as we have tried to say before, that it is going to require your work and honesty.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

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Dan,

Did you enlist in the military because it was something you truly wanted to do?

Or did you do it at the suggestion of others?

"Whose choice" was it, really?

What would you have preferred? And, what do you do for a living now?

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

i appologize


when i went, it was at the suggestion of others.


i had no clue for myself what i wanted to do at the time.


i still don't know.


i myself felt that this dream had to do with guilt.


about what would my ex think to get involved with a FRIEND of hers.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 21

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} m

Hi Dan,

There is no need to apologize.

When first learning to interpret one's dreams, it can sometimes be good to: First, write it out as already you do (but be sure to capture and record every detail and "feeling"). Second, re-write the entire dream, only now everywhere there is any character or element, add the words, "of me."

An example, from your original dream post above:
~
in the dream of me

i was going down a hill of me on a bicycle of me.

i saw the girl of me (i liked) doing the same thing as me.

at the bottom of (me) the hill of me was a body of water of me

when I and the girl of me reached the bottom of me, we crashed into the water of me.
~
As you may see from reading it like this, it can help you to own your dreams as informing you of "you." It might seem redundant, but if you practice like this for some time, it can help you to gain greater insight, because it helps to turn the mirror around, to ourselves. Then ... spend time thinking and feeling and reflecting on all of it. And be honest with yourself as you do.

I've gone to the extent I have to try to help you see how your dreams may be speaking to you, as I sense you are truly asking for help (underneath all the dancing :), but it is up to you now. You will value your own efforts and learning far more than the words any other may extend to you. The answers are within you.

Best wishes,
Kristi

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