The Psychology of Dreams<>On Line Since 2012

Jungian/Psychology Based [ GO ]

www.powerofdreams.net

Dream Forum
[Since 2005]
Myths-Dreams-Symbols    www.mydrsy.com    Since 1998
The Dream is to The Psyche

As the Immune System is to the body

Dream Analysis/Interpretation by Dream Analyst Gerald Gifford
Read: Methodology I Use in Analyzing Dreams,,,,,Based on Jungian Psychology
5000+ Dreams
    /a>
Interpreted
Please Support My
Rescue Kitty Fund

Click the Kitty

FREE INTERPRETATIONS: Please Provide Age/Gender For Proper Analysis.....Follow-up Response to Analysis Requested
By submitting your dream you have read & agree to our Disclaimer/Privacy Policy

The Dream Forum is Closed
Private Interpretations Available-E-Mail: mythsdreams@hotmail.com
Power of Dreams/MDS Dream Forum
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
Two Angry Men

My Father is driving his car. I am in the back seat. I am seated behind him. The steering wheel is on the left, and I am therefore seated on the left, but slightly closer to the centre. He is driving on the left lane. He is 40 years younger, middle aged. He is extremely angry. He is complaining that he was the only one to be let go from his job. He was complaining about the organisation and being treated unfairly. He is so angry and so distracted that I am afraid of his driving and I tell him to keep his eyes on the road.

Now I am in the Casino with my boyfriend. He is walking on my left. He is angry. He is very angry with me. I have been unfair to him. Extremely unfair to him. I see a young blond police officer pass by us on the left side and suddenly I feel extremely guilty, and afraid that I will be found out, as though I have done something very very wrong to my boyfriend, but I don't know what I did. My boyfriend is so angry with me that he does not want to take me to the Christmas party that will be held at the Casino at Christmas.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

Am not sure if I was on the left or the right in the Casino...

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

May,

As I wrote in the last message, it will be very helpful if you also post your thoughts and feelings on these dream pieces.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

Hi Kristi,

Thanks for your suggestion that I post thoughts and feelings on this dream.

Well, for the first fragment I think it is note worthy that my dad is much younger. That means in the dream he was about my age or older, so the dream is commenting about my anger in a way, perhaps at being treated unfairly by an institution. Since the dream is comparing my dad with SK I will look at that. That SK proposed to me may say something about how I feel about marriage, I'm not crazy about it. I know many women my age or 3 years younger who are desperate to be in a relationship and be married. I don't have those feelings. I think I'm angry some how that the pressure of marriage looms over my relationship...that there is an element of wanting to maintain my independence, like the archetype of artimis or Diana when she flees from Appolo and prefers to be turned into a tree rather than wooed or loved by the God of medicine and great learning such as the golden god of appolo himself....

I do idealise my dad, he is my hero. SK asked me once who my hero is and the first person that came to mind was my dad. I know lots of my female friends and other women may have issues with their fathers for many reasons, but my relationship with my father and with the overall patriarchal elements of society has not been negative. My dad worked hard all his life for our family, he is honest, moral, upright, spiritual, ethical, kind, self-sacrificing and dignified and also brilliant. I do feel that perhaps in real life he felt that he wasn't treated unfairly. Perhaps I feel something similar that although I don't hate patriarchy, as a female I recognise that there are partriarchial elements in society that are not fair to women, and perhaps marriage may end up being unfair depending on the dynamic but I also do respect the institution of marriage. I want to be like Diana though...pursued, free yet still wanted and loved....oh its all so complex. I feel then that the dream is telling me that there is legitimate anger, that my boyfriend is upset with me and I clearly am not being fair to him. The appearance of the police officer signals my unconcious guilt...my entire attitude toward SK has been accusatory and negative and I've even allowed other people's projections to attack him. For example, I've learned recently that two of my closest female friends were cheated on by their boyfriends and they are constantly going on about that and reading things that aren't there in my situation.

I felt that SK was backing off from me, now I see why, I pushed him away in a thousand subtle ways. I'm glad this dream is definitively showing me how unfair I've been to him. Though I am now consciously aware that I'm pushing him away, I will continue to do so as long as I feel I need to be like the goddess Diana, but this time I am doing it knowningly and not unconsciously and I am doing it taking full responsibility. I am not pushing him away because of something in him, I am doing it because of something in me. Marriage is a far more serious transformation than most women reckon and I am going to take my slow slow sweet time.... Last week SK had me talk to his mom on the phone and it was wonderful and we both liked each other alot..... but I, in my deep unconscious need to remain like the Goddess Diana, independent, need time....I just need time before making a committment, but now, instead of blaming SK for distancing, I can see that I've been pushing him away destructively.

This dream is showing me a pattern I've been doing and denying, thinking it was him, when all along it was me.

At any rate I've had about five more dreams with him coming closer to me and I will post those but I think that once I realised my part in the dynamic the dreams are showing me that intimacy with SK is renewed.

I also think that by consciously taking things slow, I am building a longer and stronger foundation. I told him that though I don't express my feelings I do have them....and he has been trying and asking me to be closer..... I have backed away even more now, but this is a conscious choice to face myself rather than unconsciously push him away and act out, I am gently removing myself and taking full responsibility.

The dreams I've been having about him are beautiful and loving and I feel that though he may be hurt and angry that I've pulled away again, I need to face my need for independence and this will give him a chance on his own to see his desire for intimacy and move towards me freely...when I'm ready for it, which I will be in time..if he's still patient enough with me to wait for me to come around :)

Thanks Kristi all the best,
May

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

Also want to add that I've had several dreams with my dad and SK and over time they are becoming more and more positive....since this last dream had my dad as an angry person in a recent dream he was happy and being congratulated...anyway I'll post the dreams and the over all pattern is one of positive transformation.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

Hi May,

I will respond when I have a bit more time.

Until then, best wishes,
Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

Hi May,

You wrote:

At any rate I've had about five more dreams with him coming closer to me and I will post those but I think that once I realised my part in the dynamic the dreams are showing me that intimacy with SK is renewed.

I also think that by consciously taking things slow, I am building a longer and stronger foundation. I told him that though I don't express my feelings I do have them....and he has been trying and asking me to be closer..... I have backed away even more now, but this is a conscious choice to face myself rather than unconsciously push him away and act out, I am gently removing myself and taking full responsibility.

The dreams I've been having about him are beautiful and loving and I feel that though he may be hurt and angry that I've pulled away again, I need to face my need for independence and this will give him a chance on his own to see his desire for intimacy and move towards me freely...when I'm ready for it, which I will be in time..if he's still patient enough with me to wait for me to come around :)


I do agree that the transformation of our dreams (to being more positive) are often showing the inner transformation taking place with respect to the part of our life they are addressing.

You also indicated that your father was/is your "hero." I feel all children need their father to be their hero. Sadly, however, many father's are not this for their children. Perusing some of your past dreams, I can also see where Dad was not always your hero in actions (as you shared). Ofcourse, this would not remove the child's need for him to be a "hero." We all need someone to believe in, especially as children, as we do not yet know our own selves, let alone believe in ourselves. Dad is like King (institution of God) to a child. Wouldn't the world be a better place, children happier and able to grow into healthier adults, if Dad's knew the awesome power they held over children, and treated that responsibility as sacred? :)

I bring this up to, maybe, illustrate the point that although the child you were idealized Dad, it is very likely in fact your issues with father that you are working through as you come to find greater, healthier relatedness with men, now.

The dream is showing you that Dad is driving the car. You are taking back seat to him...

Something about Dad that is driving you? As you continue to work out your own individuality? Individuate/differentiate from Dad? Who is May that is not Dad? Sort of thing...

You may have inherited his disposition of anger.

You may be angry with him, for something in your childhood, that is still affecting your relationship/relating with men.

Most all of our relationship issues began in childhood.

A lot of people state and say, "my childhood was normal." On the "surface" this statement is often seen as true just because there was no overt or extraordinary abuse in one's childhood ... BUT, we must remember that the standard of "normal" in our society does not = healthy. Most all families are dysfunctional.

I am only sharing this to say, what? Perhaps do not always throw out or disregard others who would suggest there may be issues with your father that need resolution.

As part of denial, we often protect the father imago, because the child cannot bear to know that father (or mother) is/was less than the huge expectations we had of them ... indeed, the very "needs" we as children have and can only hope that our parents will fulfill.

Do differentiate between another's story (any other who would offer an opinion/advice), but do consider what may be true of their opinion for you. Honestly look at and take what feels right, and leave the rest, sort of thing.

As children, we fear being angry at (or, indeed, even hating) our parents for some of the things that they do, or do not do. The filling or not filling of emotional needs. We fear the anger, as anger is not allowed from a child. So, we have a rule that says, "Do not feel angry." What happens to the anger? It often gets directed inward ... and, projected onto others ... anyone or thing that may remind or trigger the emotional experience(s) where it originated, to include even those we wish to form the closest bonds with. Indeed, those areas where closeness and trust are most at stake will most trigger our childhood issues with Mom and Dad.

The anger "may" be at the institution of Dad, that is being inappropriately projected onto men in your now. I have done this, too.

I have moved this way in my thought, as it is relationship issues that you are working so hard to heal (and doing very well with, I might add) ... and your dream maker is showing you that it is Dad driving the car of you ... and he is angry. Did the child you were absorb his anger?

Despite my father's abuse, he was a very assertive, intelligent and capable man, and I inherited all these, too ... and see part of my job as learning to channel these energies/tendencies positively.

Just some thoughts, given only for your consideration, with no intent to decide or choose for you what is true/not true.

From your words, I see that you are coourageously facing yourself in these relationship matters! Very best wishes to you as you continue. And it is good to hear that the images of Dad and SK are transforming in your dreams. Which means you own inner masculine is tranforming. Progress!


Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

Dear Kristi,

I really, really want to thank you for the extra efforts that you put into interpreting my dreams. I am extremely grateful for that and for your concern for my well-being. This really means alot to me and all your comments are valuable. Of course, even though Jung said that for an interpretation to be correct it has to click for the dreamer, I still believe that there are serious merits to being presented with interpretations that do not always click, as defense mechanisms may be rather strong and we are not always objective.

Sometimes things click in retrospect. Also, a dream may show how a situation is, so that we may correct it. I have my own philosophy about dreams, the soul and male-female relationships so this will of course, influence what I see.

I am not sure if you know this but I mentioned before on the dream forum that my mother attempted suicide when I was a child. After that she was depressive and negative her whole life. Regardless of any short comings that a parent may have, my dad is the reason that I survived. He is very optimistic and positive and he encouraged me to always walk in the light. He always believed in me and still does. My dad is an inspiration. My issue is with my mother. I have said before that I felt my dad scapegoated me but after talking to a therapist about my mother's suicide attempt, I sat down with myself and reflected and realised that it was my mother who was trying to blame me for all the family problems and her personal problems. My father, in a state of anguish and confusion, followed her.

I know deep down underneath her depression and unhealthy narcisistic tendency is a mother who probably loved her daughter the best she could and who cares. But as much as that helps, I still have to heal from what she did. I told my therapist that this is the reason that I am having issues with my boyfriend. My dad was strict in his upbringing, but he did not damage me. He helped me throughout my life and he was ALWAYS there for me in EVERY SINGLE life situation where I needed a parent, guidance, or support. CONSISTENTLY. My mom was not because of her own issues.

The dream is showing me that my boyfriend isn't like my mom, as I feared, but like my dad, who I do trust.

Not every lady or child has a father like mine, so I am fortunate. I'm not saying he's perfect, but he's a great guy, all around.

I think what happened to you is horrible, and I hope that you are able to be objective about other people's fathers, because what you went through is hard and projecting would be a natural outcome. You praised your father in spite of what he did to you, and I question that because someone who did that to you is not intelligent or great in anyway, I'm sorry to say that. That is a crime what happened to you. It is one of the worst things to happen to a human being. To compare that with slightly bad parenting at times is a gross gross injustice.....I hope that you are not comparing my father to yours because to do so would be unfair to me. I am sometimes afraid when you interpret my dreams that you are projecting something of your experience on to mine and this would not be accurate. My father DID NOT hurt me the way your father hurt you and sometimes when I read how you responded to my post I feel that unconsciously you are confusing the two and this causes me to feel distress. The fact that you started talking about your father in relation to mine is a dead give away that perhaps in your mind the two are related and I find this frightening. If it is not a projecting why are you discussing your father with me in the context of MY dream about MY father?

I don't know what safeguards a person can take to prevent projections, it requires an extremely high level of awareness.

This is why, even if an interpretation may seem valid, if it just doesn't click perhaps it is a projection. Just some food for thought.

Kind regards,
May

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

May, I will respond when I have more time.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Re: Two Angry Men

May,

You are correct, sometimes, things may not at first click, because of denial (which runs strong in all, until it doesn't). So, I can only suggest that you might keep some of what I said in awareness, and perhaps, at some later time, some bit of it might click.

And, because of the story of my history, in which, when told, abuse is starkly and clearly visible, I am often hesitant to share from my experience (and all that has been learned there), for others, like you have done, may immediately assume I am projecting. If you could remove the idea you are holding of my projecting, might you receive my words differently?

I don't know you or your father, or the story of your life, aside from what you have shared on the forum. But I do know a thing or two about the dynamics of a developing psyche in a child, in regards to mother and father.

I did not suggest, in words or thoughts, that your father was like mine. I said: "A lot of people state and say, "my childhood was normal." On the "surface" this statement is often seen as true just because there was no overt or extraordinary abuse in one's childhood ... BUT, we must remember that the standard of "normal" in our society does not = healthy. Most all families are dysfunctional."

And this is true. Most all families are dysfunctional, most all children experience pain growing with Mom and Dad.

You said: "You praised your father in spite of what he did to you, and I question that because someone who did that to you is not intelligent or great in anyway, I'm sorry to say that."

Praise? You saw praise. I made a statement of fact, with no emotion attached. My father was a physically strong and capable man, assertive, and he was intelligent. He had great ability for intelligence. However, he did not make wise choices (use of his intelligence) in many areas of life. He was a very sick man.

When responding to your dream, I was being very considerate of "you," as seen in my words: "Just some thoughts, given only for your consideration, with no intent to decide or choose for you what is true/not true."

I was simply trying to illustrate why your psyche is showing that you are now, still, being driven by an angry father...

I see from your response that what does "click" for you is that the anger in your dream father is reflective of the anger you (a masculine aspect of you) hold for your mother, which you have projected onto SK. This, inclusive of what else you shared, may show that the child you were transferred the need for mother onto father, and hence, have also been transferring that need (and the anger that goes with the unmet need of the child you were) onto the men in your life.

I will refrain rom responding to any more of your dreams.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

Hi Kristi,

Thank you for your thoughts and for replying to my posts.

I understand completely if you wish to refrain from responding to my dreams. I respect this decision and perhaps for now, it is a wise course.

Thank you for offering your interpretations, your insights, your wisdom and your experiences, they are all valuable and I believe as I'm sure others will attest that even when we read about someone else's dreams and how other's respond to it, that there is learning even in that, for those who are only hearing the dialogue, so it is always valuable to discuss these things.

Well, perhaps I am in denial, perhaps I am not. I don't know! :) If I'm in denial I wouldn't know it, but perhaps time will clarify all things.

About my mother. I do not feel angry at her. I feel such a depth of compassion and sorrow and sadness for what brought her to such a level of despair. I feel her vulnerability and her hopelessness (as empathy)not as my own experience, and I pray for her. Anger? I am not sure. I do feel anger sometimes, when someone oversteps their boundaries, but even then I am learning that on a spiritual path, letting go of anger and moving on is better.


I don't know if its because of denial that these things don't click or if its simply because I have not yet uncovered the meaning. I also doubt that it is a projection after all, because you clearly have worked through things. And I recognise how different our backgrounds are anyway.

I made a point of getting to know my mother's relatives. I travelled across the world, to try to understand the family dynamic that made this woman who she was. I know she was in tremendous pain and I know that regardless of marriage or family problems, for someone to take that kind of decision, as my mother did that night, was rooted in some far far away distant past that had nothing to do with my father or our family. I literally interrogated her relatives and family. I spent time with her older brother asking him about her and her childhood, and I asked her younger brother. I talked to her cousins, all three of them, and even her aunt, but not about this. I tried to understand her and what I concluded is that something awful must have happened to her before the age of 24, (when her father passed away and then she married my father).

She had cancer a few years ago and my dad took care of her. I believe cancer is caused by deeply negative feelings, resentment, the inability to forgive, perhaps envy, deprivation.


It took reflecting on her life for me to see how little she had to give, yet, she has an incredibly kind and generous spirit and will give all of what she has, even if it is so limited. I just feel sorry for her.

What I feel might not be anger. It is fear. Fear that I will fall in love with someone as limited in capacity to relate to other human beings. It is like deep down inside her is a tiny helpless hopeless frightend child locked up inside her controlling her and preventing her from opening up to life, to love to people to giving. That she played favorites with my siblings (my dad did too) didn't help.

Yes, of course I agree Kristi that all families are disfunctional. The heroine or hero journey IS about healing from that, but from the wound the doorway to the treasures emerges we all know this from tales of old and folklore.

About intelligence. I have my own beliefs about intelligence. I believe every species has its own kind of intelligence...trees know things we don't, about other trees but also about people.....even a guitar has intelligence to harmonise with another guitar...for me this is musical intelligence built into the structure and function of the guitar by its creator..... for me intelligence has to do with wholeness, integrity, harmony, peace, and health. For me, I guess I link health in humans with mental and physical intelligence and mental and physical health.

Physical intelligence, capability derives from mental intelligence and mental health. But its not really intelligence if that ability is used to harm someone weaker. True power is not power over someone it is power over oneself. So this capacity of power and strength as you described is viewed from the eyes of a person who was a vulnerable, innocent, victim of that power, capacity and strength. Forgiveness yes, but conflate, no. Abusing someone is a sign of weakness, incapacity, lack of strength, lack of wisdom..... but this is only my opinion


I believe food in dreams symbolises nourishment. For me information does not nourish but food does. knowing, intuition, meaning, all these things are necessary but what sustains the soul is harmonising with our creator, for me this is the food of my life...by passing the ego, the mind and connecting with the pure spirit and light of which I am composed...


Perhaps I am in denial, perhaps I am angry, perhaps I am projecting so much on to my partners, perhaps I have so many issues with my parents as well, so much unresolved inside...perhaps....


I will keep thinking about it. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best.

Regards,

May

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

THE ONLY DENIAL I ENGAGED IN WAS THE DENIAL OF MY INTUITION AND KNOWLEDGE AND LOVE FOR MY FATHER WHO IS A GREAT MAN. I POSTED THIS DREAM ON AUGUST 31ST AND WASTED A MONTH OF HIS LIFE LISTENING TO YOU DEAD WRONG PROJECTING INTERPRETATIONS COMING FROM A WOMAN WHOSE FATHER ABUSED HER. I WROTE BEFORE THAT HE WAS MY HERO. BECAUSE OF YOUR NASTY RESPONSE I REFRAINED FROM CALLING MY FATHER AND TURNING TO HIM FOR WEEKS WHEN I NEEDED HIS SUPPORT BECAUSE YOU POISIONED MY MIND AGAINST HIM. I HAD WRITTEN A LETTER TWO WEEKS AGO ASKING FOR HIS HELP WITH MY BF AND HE WROTE BACK SAYING HE WOULD DO ANYTHIGN TO HELP ME AND THAT HE LOVED ME VERY MUCH AND THAT I WILL BE SUCCESS IN ALL I DO AND THAT I NEED TO EVALUATE CAREFULLY IF MY BF IS TREATING ME WITH THE RESPECT AND KINDNESS I DESERVE.

YOU ARE TRULY TRULY AN IRRESPONSIBLE AND NEGILIGENT PERSON CONSTANDLY PUSHING WRONG INTERPRETATIONS ON ME AND CONFUSING ME WHEN MY DAD IS GREAT. ITS YOUR DAD WHO ABUSED YOU YET YOU DON'T WANT TO FACE THAT AND WANT TO PROJECT.

I AM SO SORRY I TRUSTED YOU. I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T STAND UP TO YOU.

MY FATHER IS DEAD AND BECAUSE OF YOU I DIDN'T TALK TO HIM SINCE AUGUST 31ST BECAUSE OF YOUR WRONG INTERPRETATION.

I THINK THAT YOU ARE AN IRRESPONSIBLE AND CRUEL PERSON. YOU CONSTANTLY CONSTANTLY IGNORED WHAT I WAS SAYING..

THAT DREAM COULD HAVE BEEN TELLING ME HE IS ANGRY BECAUSE HE IS BEING TREATED UNFAIRLY BECAUSE OF SOMETHING IN HIS REAL LIFE AND THAT MY ANGER REPSENTED BY HIM IS DIRECTED AT YOU FOR CONSTANTLY

TRYING

TO FORCE

FORCE

FORCE

YOUR DREAM INTEPRETATION ON ME

STOP IT.

MY FATHER IS DEAD NOW
AND ALL I HAVE ARE YOUR SICK THOUGHTS

AND NOT HIS KIND VOICE AND BEATUFIFUL WORDS THAT SUPPORTED AND SUSTAINED ME MY WHOLE LIFE.


I WISH IT WAS YOUR FATEHR THAT DIED AND NOT MINE.

MY FATHER HELPED PEOPLE HE WAS A GREAT MAN AND IN HIS PROFESSION HE DID GREAT THINGS FOR PEOPLE

WHAT DID YOUR FATHER DO???

YET YOU STILL SAY I AM IN DENIAL.

AND WHEN YOU EMAILED ME ONCE WHAT YOU SAID IN THAT EMAIL MADE IT CLEAR YOU WERE PROJECTING.

I AM NOT YOU. MY PAST IS NOT YOURS AND I AM SORRY YOU DIDN'T ADMIT YOUR MISTAKE SOONER

AND I AM SORRY I TRUSTED YOU

I SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED MYSELF.

THIS LOSS WILL NEVER BE REPLACED

AND IN MY GRIEF I WILL FOREVER SPEAK MY TRUTH

I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED ANYTHING IN MY LIFE MORE THAN I REGRET CONTINUAL ENGAGING IN CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU THAT TOOK ME FURTHER AWAY FROM THE TRUTH FROM MY LOVING FATHER WHEN I NEEDED HIM AND WHEN I DID WRITE TO HIM HE WAS COMPLETELY WONDERFUL AND THERE FOR ME.

YOU ARE NOT A HEALTHY PERSON AND THAT IS PUTTING IT POLITIELY AND MILDLY.

I HAVE NOTHIGN MORE TO SAY THAN MY WONDERFUL FATHER WHO WAS MY BEST FRIEND AND HERO AND TRULY GREAT IS DEAD AND I DID NOT CONTACT HIM ENGOUGH BECAUSE OF YOUR GARBAGE INTERPRETATION WHICH I KEPT TELLING YOU DON'T FEEL RIGHT AND YOU KEPT FORCING ME TO SEE THINGS FROM YOUR VIEW AND THIS AFFECTED MY ACTIONS.

I AM AT A COMPLETE LOSS

I KNOW HE IS IN HEAVEN WATCHING OVER ME AND CARES ABOUT ME AND I AM SO SAD I DIDNT CALL HIM IN THSEE LAST FEW WEEKS AND

IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR REPONSES AND HOW THEY AFFECTED ME.

I LEARNED A LISTEN NOW I WILL STAND UP AND SPEAK OUT FOR MYSELF AND I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU MORE FIRMLY YOU ARE WRONG

WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE MY DAD IS A GREAT GUY AND DESERVES TO BE MY HERO.

I AM CERTAIN YOU HAVE NO CONSCIENCE.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

I can also see where Dad was not always your hero in actions (as you shared). Ofcourse, this would not remove the child's need for him to be a "hero." We all need someone to believe in, especially as children, as we do not yet know our own selves, let alone believe in ourselves. Dad is like King (institution of God) to a child. Wouldn't the world be a better place, children happier and able to grow into healthier adults, if Dad's knew the awesome power they held over children, and treated that responsibility as sacred? :)


YES KRISTI. MY DAD HELD IT AS SACRED. YOUR'S DIDN'T.
YES KRISTI MY DAD IS MY HERO AND I AM 38 AND HE IS EVEN MORE MY HERO NOW THAN EVER.

IN HIS LAST DAYS, WHEN I WAS HAVING ISSUES WITH MY BF HE WAS TOTALLY THERE FOR ME.

I HAVE NO MORE WORDS FOR YOU. I AM CERTAIN YOU ARE WRONG AND YOU ARE TOO ARROGANT TO SEE THE HARM YOU DID.

I CAME HERE FOR HELP, NOT TO BE FORCED INTO SOMETHING.

JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE HURTS THEIR DAUGHTER'S FEELINGS DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE A MONSTER LIKE YOUR FATHER.

YOUR FATHER BETRAYED YOU AND YOUR SISTERS. I COULD USE A DIFFERENT VERB BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.


I AM SO ANGRY. SO ANGRY I WENT TO THIS SITE AND LISTENED TO SOME IDIOT.

WHEN I COULD HAVE CALLED MY DAD AND FOCUSED ON ALL THE GREAT POSITIVE THINGS HE GAVE ME.


THE WAY YOU WRITE, THE WAY YOU ANSWERED ALL MY POSTS, ALL OF IT IMPLIED THINGS THAT INFLUENCED ME. I HAVE TO GO NOW AND I WILL NEVER RETURN TO THIS SITE AGAIN AND DON'T EMAIL ME.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

I just wanted to tell my dad that he was my hero before he died. I think the real meaning of these dreams is that my father was angry about something, perhaps his impeding death and wanted me to make peace with him. Had I listened to myself and the positive feeligns I had about my dad, that he is my hero, that I posted her, I would ahve just called him and told him. But because of the information I recieved here,which was negative and focused on the past and not honoring of my growth, I was confused.
Yes, we all have issues with our parents, to one degree or another, but in the process of posting dreams here and discussing, the goal is to reach towards forgiveness, health, healing wholeness, as Jerry's mission on the dream forum has always been to lead peopel on that path. I had reached that when I saw the hero in my father, the role model for me to be the heroine in my own life. But because of a negative response that reflected someone else's incompleted journey, I listedn to a misguided outer voice, not my own inner voice adn let that influence me. That is why it is a projection. I was working through vry confusing things. It is more honoring and more truthful to let the voice of the dreamer, the conclusions of the dreamer be the guide, not the imposed, external voice of someone else whose situation cannot in anyway comprehend the dreamer.

It was my error, my mistake, my lack of trust in myself.

But I recognise that that lack of trust was built up over time, in a hurtful process, where I would consistently speak in this forum, and say waht I felt and believed and that other voice would come and say no, no , no its not like that you are in denial you are wrong, I (ego) am right (I) know more than you, etc etc.

In the end I am responsible for my own mistake but I will say this. I learned a valuable valuable lesson here.

The cost of not listening to myself was grave.

I shall never again allow myself to be wrongly influenced. I know I am at times sensitive and confused and go to people for help with a very open and vulnerable spirit of trust and innocent.

That trust and innocence was telling me I know the answer. And that answer is what I believe. It isn't denial and it isn't wrong.

I am sad now because for months I feel my self-confidence and trust in myself have been consistently undermined in the process of posting here and receiving replies, that when I said were not clicking, was told consistently that I was wrong. i feel traumatised by this and this is very sad for me.

I posted MY dreams so that I would know what MY soul wanted,and when I would respond and say what meaning my OWN HEART found, I was consistently told I was wrong.

I will heal from this. My dad gave me a huge gift. He ALWAYS believed in me and in my OWN inner guidances. I will hold on to that. I will hold on to him, to all the good he gave me, he was the best he was my hero.

SK asked me weeks ago who my hero was and I said my dad and I gave a reasoned and valid answer. That was the thing I needed to tell him. And I didn't. Because of this forum. Because of the disrespectful way my soul and my responses to my own soul were treated.

But I will overcome, as I always do, as my hero father taught me to, He is with me now in spirit and can see all this and in my actions in the way I lived my life, beyond the realm of words and in spirit, I honored who he was, his role model in my life, his ethics, his loving kindness, his service to humanity, his genius, his intelligence, his love of his profession for the sake of his humanity, his honesty, his gentle spirit, his highest ethics, (he never, never spoke about someone behind their back ever and if someone was talking to him about someone else it was only in the contex of praising the absent party and this is something he never deviated from adn I learned it from him. If I even tried to gossip to him about my own sister he stopped the conversation immediately). He was there for me when I had any problem. I could talk to him about everything.

I KNOW i posted things on the forum that spoke of being hurt. OF COURSE. NO PARENT IS PERFECT. That is a given. But I was on a healing journey to resolution. And after facing my childhood losses I had come to aplace where I stopped taking my father for granted, where I was seeing that all the good things he did for me and for my sake far outweighted any parenting mistakes, and I was ready to tell him that and I told it here on the forum, but I

was told I was wrong, told I was in denial, told that SOMEONE ELSE knew more about me than I did about myself...and I foolishly, in my trust, innocence, confusion and distraction with other life issues, failed to listen to my own voice.

Though I feel the grave weight of this mistake, there is redemption for me, I listen now to my voice, and I honor my father now and he is aware of me and of my love, respect and appreciation and cherishing for him. On a spiritual level, once I reached the understanding that he was my hero for all that he did for me, I think I sent out vibrations into the universe of that higher consciousness and he in his wisdom and in divine guidance became aware of that aware of the restoration of my understanding of him...from parent that I had issues with to hero.

No, it was not childish hero worship and idealisation. I saw the things that hurt me and I forgave and overcame because he made amends. he apologised for being strict and for hurting my feelings and then he consistently stood by me as my best friend and hero. No this is not denial. This is spirit and truth and growth and wholeness.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Two Angry Men

And again, I maintain that there were projections not mine. The interpreter of my dreams regarding my father had experiences with her own father that I did not have. Therefore her interpretions were coloured by her experiences which are vastly vastly different from mine. This was an injustice and I had asked for that imposed projection or whatever it is called to be withdrawn but even then the forcing and persisting became acussations of my being in denial, become a shutting out of my own valid interpretions of my self. Not only did I lose my father, but my own soul was harmed in teh process. It is not good to force our way on anyone and this person was forcing. It was wrong and mistaken. it would be more healing for everyone involved to admit responsibility for a wrong interpretation rather than to continue to try to force it. It is cowardly to tell someone they are in denial when the do not accept a wrong belief forced on them. My father was and is a great man. Fullstop.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes


stats from 7-14-10 to the present