I'd like to update with another dream I had. This was last night.

In this dream I am driving a car and notice that I look pretty gross. My hair is dirty, no make up, and ugly clothes on. I'm going back to high school for some kind of reunion party thing. I think, *oh well, guess I am not going to be impressing them after all. As usual I look like junk. *


When I drive up its dark and the lot is covered in mud. I see a boy I liked in HS walk by in a green sweater. We are being divided into teams of color, and I hope I get a green sweater too. Instead I get a grey one, and am very disappointed. I try to speak to the teacher who gave me the sweater but he overlooks me for another student. The smile disappears from my face as I realize how invisible I am.

I head into the 'building' and see the orange group in an open room all sitting on the floor, it is full of kids who always hated me. I feel self-conscious but ignore them. I find out my group has the worst part, and we have to go down into the sewers of the building. I hate it, I am so disgusted. I get along with most of the people in my group, but none of us are in a good mood because of what our task is.

We are in the sewers with flashlights. Green liquid is flowing out of openings along the wall filling it up. We have to find our way out before we drown in it. There is some animosity between another woman and I, but between a male and I it is very enjoyable. We are able to keep each other going.

Something is in the sewer that wants to get us. I'm not sure what, some kind of creature that is evil. We're trying to move fast, and one of the guys falls into the green muddy liquid. We're shining our flashlights onto his face, trying to find him. we blind him because we all three shine our lights right into his eyes.

I keep thinking, why couldn't I be in one of the groups that got to do something less dirty and more fun. I feel so exposed to unsanitary conditions and can't understand why I accepted this.

We pull the guy out and keep running, the tunnel keeps winding, it is getting darker as we move along. Some kind of animal shows up dead nearby, its split in half and graphic.

It seems like we'll never get out and I wake up.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25 USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

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Hi Angie

If this were my dream I would consider how, in reference to high school, I went through 'a lot of crap'.

The key phrases in reference to yourself I see are:

"As usual I look like junk"

"I realize how invisible I am"

"I feel self-conscious but ignore them"

"I hate it, I am so disgusted"

"I feel so exposed to unsanitary conditions and can't understand why I accepted this"

And in terms of your social circle(?) at High School:

"I hope I get a green sweater too. Instead I get a grey one, and am very disappointed"

"There is some animosity between another woman and I, but between a male and I it is very enjoyable"

"I keep thinking, why couldn't I be in one of the groups that got to do something less dirty and more fun"

Don't know if these words relate in any way to your high school experience or not. It could be exagerating to get your attention in regards to something specific.

Sweet dreams,
Rook

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27 - Perth, Western Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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thanks for the reply rook! I really don't consider myself to be the debbie downer, but I am starting to think I internalize negative emotions to the point where they evoke unpleasant dreams every night.

I was a social outcast in high school, and while I did deal with depression, I wasn't ever like "oh I hate my life".. I was more like.. "I could be better than this if I tried harder but I'm doomed to fail."..

I really don't think that way anymore. Hmmph.

Must have been something which brought out those same feelings lately, just not sure what.

Again, thanks for the response. I don't feel so left out on the site now (which is doomed to be my fate forever as you can see from my dreams! ) hahaha

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25 USA

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Hi Angie

"I was more like.. "I could be better than this if I tried harder but I'm doomed to fail.".."

This is reflected in the dream quite well as you wish you were with the boy you liked in the green sweater.

Now, taking on the initial part of the dream, you are driving a car, which can be a metaphor for your life's direction, which again seems to be linked to the dream about school in perhaps you didn't come out of the school system where you wanted to be. Were you disappointed with what happened after you left school?

What about the boy who you liked? What kind of a man was he?

Colour could be important in this dream as well. There are the green sweaters, with the boy you like.

"Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, fertility, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. Green is also symbolic of your strive to gain recognition and establish your independence. Money, wealth and jealousy are often associated with this color."

"Green commonly symbolizes the fertility of Nature (as in the Green Man, the spirit of fecundity). In your dreams, therefore, it may indicate personal growth, some new development in your personality."

Was the boy you liked symbolic of that positive life path to success?

The people you hated were orange. They made you feel self-conscious.

"Orange denotes hope, friendliness, courtesy, lively, sociability, and an out-going nature. You may want to expand your horizons and look into new interests."

"(1) May symbolize aggressiveness.
(2) Because it is the colour of the sun, it may symbolize life, or consciousness.
(3) If you are depressed, orange may symbolize the dawn of a new attitude of optimism and proper self-love."

Were these people who you hated the 'popular group' (sociability / out-going) who were also aggresive towards you?

But you were of the gray...

"Gray indicates fear, fright, depression, ill health, ambivalence and confusion. You may feel emotionally distant or detached."

"(1) The colour may represent old age, death (see meaning of death), depression."

Sounds like that is a pretty accurate description of your emotional charge in high school.

Could this dream be a reflection on where your life is heading, as well as a negative self image seen in the way that you look in the initial part of the dream? How exactly do you feel about yourself now?

Rook

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27 - Perth, Western Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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Hmm.

Just to clarify I never hated those kids. What I hated was how they treated me, and how I felt around them.

I have been considering leaving my relationship but am not wanting to risk giving up on love and finding out it was my only chance.

Yes I am depressed.

I never did the things I wanted out of high school. I made it into a relationship for the first time and for six years now I have been focused only on it. I lost myself somewhere.

I would say your description of the colors really does represent how I feel lately.

I have been withdrawn and unable to leave my house, and I do have a really hard time facing my appearance. I do have low self-esteem with that.

But I have been trying to work through it and find a solution.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25 USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

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Hi Angie

It is a great thing that you direct that dislike of the kids in high school towards their actions and not towards them personally. That is a very mature and commendable attitude.

Can I ask you, are you happy in your relationship? What is it that is driving you to consider leaving your relationship?

“I never did the things I wanted out of high school. I made it into a relationship for the first time and for six years now I have been focused only on it. I lost myself somewhere.”

When I look at this dream, this statement is basically what I see. You want something out of school but you did not achieve it. I would say this has been a ‘turning point’ if you will, in driving what has happened in your life since school.

In regards to your low self-esteem, would you say that this is a result of high school or was the conditioning to feel this way about yourself existent before school began? What does your partner communicate to you about yourself?

Journey on,
Rook

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27 - Perth, Western Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes