I have moved. Then, a woman asks if I will help move some items for a couple. It is a basement apartment we enter. There are boxes we carry. Then, I am in the living room of this couple and am on all fours, on the floor, playing (?) with a dog and child. Strangely, they are on my back, one at a time, somehow attached to my back and I am wagging them back and forth, from side to side (left and right), like a tail. Despite their actual heaviness, I do not feel them as heavy.

I am in a very large bathroom. From the toilet, I can see outside through a long row of windows. The outside is a natural setting, trees and grasses, sun shining. There is a couple with child coming down the earthen path. A young boy child, perhaps four or five years old. There is a door to the outside just to my front. While still sitting on the toilet, the young male child comes inside. He is interested to know what I am doing. I do not at all have feeling of being vulnerable or exposed (being seen by him or the couple). I rise from the toilet, and walk the length of the long bathroom to reach the sink and wash my hands, as I tell the interested boy that I am going to wash my hands. Later in the evening, this same dream repeats, only it is a female child that enters the restroom.

Later still, I hear the words, “Start writing now.”

Not sure I understand the messages all together yet. I wept a goodly degree yesterday, considering my desire to write, feeling the need I had to know love as a child, the need I have to express, like a voice that wants to be heard. I feel I have made a huge movement within myself as of late. But there is this other movement that needs to occur, perhaps a fuller taking of responsibility for the child inside of me. A need to go through those boxes in the basement and expose them (as in later being in the bathroom), hear and feel what the inner child needs…and meet those needs, from Self to self.

Kristi

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Hi Kristi,

couldn't be that the thing you now long for...to know love as a child...can be reached by starting to write?
It made me think of a book i bought earlier this year (maybe you already know it): 'The Artists Way', written by Julia Cameron. It's about getting to know yourself better, but most of all to free the way for your inner artist. It's like a home-course; a new chapter every week with several questions to yourself to be answered. And every week you need to buy something little and/or crazy for yourself (something a child would buy).

Last week i started with the first chapter. One of the questions was to find out what my strange attractors are and to get to know my inner censor. If i'm right this means that i have to found out what things in life (doesn't matter what) i feel attracted to and why. This censor is that inner voice which comes up with all inner critics...like when you have a plan which you're about to make happen, several thoughts start to running through your mind...thoughts which are saying why this plan isn't going to happen or why you won't succeed in it.

The dream:
To me it feels like first the little boy and then the little girl are the start of the 'moving couple'. This moving couple sounds like the integration of the inner male and female. Maybe that's also why you are 'on all fours' (this means being on hands and knees or?). 'On all fours'...like a baby in the stage before really walking/ on its own two feet. Maybe a very strange question i'm going to ask, but could also be that somehow, in someway you are still learning to 'stand on your own to feet'...to be independent? Not so much as being dependent to other people, but dependent on things/thoughts you've learned in earlier stages of life. That the dog and child normally are heavy, they don't feel heavy at all...do certain things seem 'heavy' to do, but won't be 'heavy' at all. (maybe because of doing things in the light-hearted way of a child?)

And i have the feeling that 'writing' in this isn't all that much the goal, but 'the way to' (to know love as a child) instead..

Greetings,
Mask

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I just read your reply to Jerry's writing; you already wrote it yourself...through writing you will find healing. Even the bride and groom seem to have returned...the moving couple..

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Thank you, Mask. I am familiar with the title, "The Artist's Way," as I have thought about purchasing ita few times, but did not. It sounds good. The dialogue is helpful. Much to look at/consider here. The bride and groom can also be seen in another recent dream ("Waltz"): http://www.mythsdreamssymbols.com/dreamforum.html Recalling now what I said to my analyst when I told dream, through a smiling face: "I have been thinking there was something wrong with me." She responded, "What if there is not?" "Right," I said, "What if there isn't..." my affect showing that I was seeing a whole new realm of possibilities opening up before me. These child dreams come on the heel of my having returned from seeing Ammachi (Sri Mata Amritanandamayi) in Michigan for retreat. When I was traveling to see her in Washington State earlier in the year, I had a dream concerning my birth mother: http://www.mythsdreamssymbols.com/dreamforum.html Jerry, you responded, saying: There are the two aspects of the dream, the Great Mother and that relationship, and your biological mother and that relationship. The first is in the present and future and the second in the present and past. The need to deal with both may be the focus of your dream. I agreed, and have been working toward this end, hence my dreams of “negative mother” and else that I have been moving through. Undoubtedly, I experience the love, energy and grace of Ammachi as very healing and very revealing concerning the emotions that lay inside of me. It is not just a bandaid. It takes me deep to the heart of my own self/life experience. Understanding that Ammachi is also a reflection of the (potential for) love within my own self, I did go with a prayer in my heart, to write my story, in such a manner that it may be helpful to others, and healing for me. And here I am, one week later, very much in the heart of it all. Mask, I did not catch the down on your hands and knees until I read your words. I am, literally. Often in prayer, praying for healing, grace, the surrendering of my life to a higher cause. Alternately, this hands and knees position may also be reflective of the child inside, begging for love, just like a dog that wags its tail when its owner/master finally comes home at the end of the day. This child inside of me is speaking. Perhaps these are the boxes I am in process of moving, the things that have been stored. The pair of couples each bring me a child, one male and one female … so, altogether, being in process of coming together in greater harmony, eliminating (toileting) the disparity between me and my inner child aspects. They’re here in a new way and I must wash my hands of having held them away. A sacred time for me.

Kristi

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Hi Kristi

Might I open a window to the outside world for an another interpretation? I am still at the point where I am mostly dealing with external influences in my dreams so maybe seeing from another perspective (since dreams can have multiple applicable meanings).

To me the first phrase jumped out, you have moved, speaking of your transformation in dealing with your 'boxes' / baggage. Now you are being asked to help others. I may be mistaken but you serve a therapeutic function as a job yes? Could it be saying taken on the burdens of others does not seem heavy to you, hence you have a good ability to help these people? Carrying them on your back as they 'move', their world gets a 'shake up'?

Thats what leaped out of the text of the dream at me anyhow, through my perspective.

Cheers,
Rook

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Hi Rook,

Yes, you may, and thank you. Interesting to consider. I have felt more confident to help others in what ways and manners I am able. Also, as I have considered writing, I have always felt how inspirational it would be. I have always felt (hoped) that it had the potential to help "move" and "stir" the heart of others, help them to heal, give them another window by which to see. I can’t tell you how “inspired” I have been by this…feeling even that much of what I wrote would be inspired prose…that I have to turn myself over to that something greater than me for the story to come through. There are so many things all this stirs for me… When I first began healing years ago, I was having many various energy experiences (kundalini) and I went online searching for a book that might help me to understand what was happening to me. What I came away with was Clarissa Pinkola Estes, “Warming the Stone Child – Myths & Stories About Abandonment and the Unmothered Child.” I got it on audio book. I listened to it as I drove to Unity Village, where I walked through the rose garden. I can’t tell you how deeply I felt, “the universe knows me,” as I listened to it, with wave upon wave (upon wave) of tingling, warming, resonating energy coursed every inch of my body, over and again. I hardly knew then the healing journey I would soon enter into. It was huge, both the instance of identification with this archetype and all that ensued – and I was innocent/naïve of the process taking shape in me. I have had someone tell me, when sharing of some of my experiences, that the unconscious sometimes selects ones for a specific path of individuation. And I clearly cannot lay claim to the intervention in my life. It was not wrought by me. I told my analyst the other day, “No one has doubted my experiences as much as me,” my constant feeling of being called. It feels like that something that needs/wants to be done.

I don’t know, am I feeling that I have a “baby on my back?” The birth of a book? Is it calling me like a dog wagging tail? Is it that the child in others will actually find healing in what I have to share? Have I felt it too big for me? (I have.) Is the dream showing that it is not? And then the statement/direction given at the end: “Start writing now:” I’ve begun, but am not sure I am starting the writing at the right point in my life. I was thinking just this morning, perhaps it is telling that I should write of my now time, and then reflect/turn to other periods.

Kristi

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Why not just start writing and let 'the story' unfold itself instead of thinking how you want it at forehand? Sit, write, be silent and just write/type the words that pop up...like a baby discovering the world just after being born. Be curious about what you are going to read in the next sentence, the next page, the next chapter. Maybe this way of writing gives one more inspiration to write, because of the curiosity. A few years ago i tried writing this way and at some point just couldn't stop because i wanted to know where the story was heading...like reading a book for the first time.
I understand you want to write your memoires and that you already have some plans/ ideas about it (correct me if i'm wrong), but don't you think it's possible that the story will write itself with you only as the writer...'let the blind baby guide you over the paper'...

Hah, just saw the (dream) image of you on all fours with the baby/dog on your back, carrying them around while the dogs tail is going from left to right.

Carrying...riding...writing (wordplay)..
Tail...tale...The tail going from left to right like a pen.
To get this back to what i just wrote: let the baby (inner child) 'tell you' where to ride (what to write)...The baby knows the way...you just have to follow...and your pen (tail) will leave the print...and the print will guide you all the way home (your Self). (like you wrote that in writing you will also find healing)

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Hi Mask,

Yes, I just need to let the writing flow. There will be plenty of room and time for editing, later.

Kristi

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I love relevancy.

That's what I need to do in my writing. I think I am trying to write too much from the head and not enough from the heart. I have one first draft done, but am trying to fill the blanks with my head, not my heart like I was doing before.

I too started doubting myself Kristi, thinking perhaps I am not supposed to start writing till I am older, more experienced. But what I write has no basis on my life so what does experience have anything to do with it? You need to purge that fear and doubt. I think you know in your heart of hearts what "Start writing now" means.

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Thank you, Rook. Yes, purge the fear and doubt ... and write from the heart! That is the only way. Being present in the moment, with the writing, without dividing my attention (with doubt, or expectations), really giving myself to the Beloved, so to speak. I think doing this will produce a more authentic piece. As I said, there will be plenty of time for critique from friends and editing, later.

Kristi

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I took the book, "The Pregnant Virgin, by Marion Woodman, down off of my bookself. I am reading it now.

I like even these words on the back cover, as I slowly make my way into my writing enterprise:

"The Pregnant Virgin explores a process of change akin the the metamorphosis of catepillar to chrysalis to butterfly. It describes periods in teh chrysalis when life as we have known it is over and we are effectively alone. No longer who we were, we know not who we may become. At such times a thinking heart can bring us closer to our inner virgin, "one-in-herself," forever open to new life, new possibilities - our own unique truth."

By the way, a man can be a Pregnant Virgin, too!

Kristi

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Insightful!

When I woke from the first dream, I felt sure only that I did not understand it. That is GOOD, because it kept me searching for the meaning...

I was twisting my head, engaging my intellect/conscious ego, trying to understand.

Remember, I said I cried a good deal the evening of/ before these dreams, as I felt my desire to write, offered my prayers to write. This, through some doubt I was feeling. Because of the doubt I was consciously moving through, the interpretation was skewed.

What I now feel it actually says is this:

"I am moving!" Not, 'I have moved.' That was my ego/intellect. What I really "felt" is that "I am moving." (Actual dream "feeling" is crucial to proper interpretation). This piece of the dream is not something that was seen, only felt or sensed, bodily, deeply.

I am then asked by an unknown woman to help an unknown couple move.

We begin doing this, entering into a basement apartment, many large boxes are moved, effortlessly.

Next, I am on all fours, like a dog (or a child) = instincts. Like an animal, a young child is also still very close to their instinctual nature (which comes/existed before our conditioned mind/ego).

It is me, my body, on all fours. I "embody" the dog and the child. First, the dog, and then the child. As I do, both are felt within me and as if rapidly wagging from me, back and forth, like a tail. This action was NOT a matter of "love me" and "give me attention," as I earlier alluded to. What it was saying is, "I AM READY, I AM EAGER, LET'S DO IT." More like a dog would respond when asked if he/she wants to go for a romp in the woods, but the front door is not yet opened for them to go.

I was then given the other two dream scenes where the unknown couples bring the male and female children while I am toileting and washing my hands ... and am then instructed, "Start Writing Now."

With the above interpretation, the "instruction" is now congruent... and "all good news." It was not congruent with the more critical interpretation I first came up with due to the doubt I was moving through consciously.

Actually, a very powerful dream. And I am reminded, now, that "Blind is Good." Choosing to not know, holding out for the true meaning, allowing one's self to be guided, is better.

Jerry always reminds here on the forum: The unconscious never lies.

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Sounds very good..that you finally understand the meaning of this dream! Must give one a very good feeling!

"The unconscious never lies." I won't doubt this and i am happy that it can make itself known by dreams. I really find it something special and sometimes this phenomenon still can make me feel wondered..about how it's possible that something like dreaming exists.

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Hi Mask,

Yes, when it clicks, one really knows it, feels it.

Kristi

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