A dream from last night:

I ran into a friend from highschool. We talk for some time and then all of a sudden we are in her house. Once in there i'm pretty excited, knowing that i've seen her house from the outside for several times already and always wanted to take a look inside it.
Since she and her friend moved into this house they've started a total renovation. Before them a classmate from my childhood years lived there with his family. They seem to have never done anything to keep their house in a good state. (during the dream i'm aware of this and it's is just like in real life)
So with this former highschool friend i now am in what seems to be the livingroom. At one point i watch over my right shoulder and through the glass doors i see the back yard. I find the backyard quite small, noticing how big the house is. The garden is almost empty but seems to still need some renovations.
We're still talking and i tell her how often i watched their house, wishing to see it from the inside. A little later her friend enters the livingroom. While watching him i conclude that he's 'that' kind of guy; with 'that' meaning a pretty soft type. I then knew that she must be the one in charge in this house. Her friend is at some distance from us and stays there doing his thing. Like keeping this distance is his way of being friendly towards his girlfriend and her guest. Like that's how it's supposed to be. Though he feels like a real friendly type i don't like him keeping this distance..even more: i don't like his 'softness'..

Greets,
Mask

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36 netherlands

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Most of this dream just like in real life. Only don't i know her friend and i haven't been inside their house. That former classmate of mine who used to live there...he was sort of an outsider and picked on by almost everyone. I did find him a little strange, but never picked on him, but had to do with him instead.

The renovation of the house in real life seem to not be completed yet. That's what i conclude anyway when i see the house, because the windows aren't yet cleaned and i've made this my answer...that renovations will have come to an end when i see clean windows.

This old house being renovated is symbolic i think, for my real self. I'm still renovating myself. The backyard...unconscious/past...it's almost empty, but still needs some renovating too. I don't know if it is positive or negative..my thoughts about this backyard being so small compared to the big house. Or maybe this means that there not so much unconscious stuff that i still need to deal with.
I think this womans friend symbolizes my anima. He's keeping his distance towards us...which to me feels like he's being friendly. Though i don't like it. I want him to come closer, to get himself known...that's i think what my feelings are about him in the dream. I want him to show that he's a real man.
I think this dream is stating 'where i am' right now. Renovating, working through stuff...Seeing the backyard through the glassdoors i think is positive. The glass...the doors...Like things are showing...opening up...new possibilities...things are getting clearer to me.
Maybe i must not wait for the anima to close the distance between us, but invite him?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36 netherlands

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Hi Mask,

Some thoughts/possibilities for pondering:

The backyards of homes are not readily apparent/viewable from the front, so something out of conscious awareness, hidden from the general public. The actual front or coverings of homes are called the facade, or, we might say, 'the mask.' When you share of the former classmate who once lived there and how he was an outsider/outcast, picked on by most, I imagine he may have felt as the backyard of your dream looks, "empty." Emptiness is also a feeling, as you know, as well as is "small" or "smallness." Might these feelings be the discoveries from the land of the backyard/unconcsious? And might they also be reflected both in the former schoolmate animus as well as the present day animus who stays back. Might you say he felt small or was empty of something?

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

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Thank you, Kristi, for your insights.

In the dream it didn't feel like this man was feeling empty or small. It didn't feel like he wanted to be/come closer..it felt like he kept this distance from us as if he had been used to do so..like he had learned to do so. Out of politeness.
But what i find interesting; it was only after reading your thoughts that i remembered that this woman in real life is literally short/small, though in the dream i wasn't aware of that. In the dream she seemed to be the one in charge.
And i think you're right that this former classmate must have felt himself very empty/small/lonely.
And these feelings of being sort of an outsider, feelings of emptyness, smallness are all feelings that aren't strange to me, though not being someone who has been picked on really.
In the dream this woman seemed to be as tall as i am. But i remember a dream in which i woke up, stood up and went to turn on the light. But i couldn't reach the switch...being very short/small. At that point i knew i could be taller/bigger. This dream ended with me asking myself if he (a man in this dream) ever felt this small also...as if i wanted to know what he had done to overcome this feeling.

So you could be right there.
Then me 'finally in this house' feels like a point is/could be reached where this feelings can be transformed. Like something is finally understood.

Mask

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Hi Mask,

Will toss some more thoughts back:

It didn't feel like he wanted to be/come closer..it felt like he kept this distance from us as if he had been used to do so..like he had learned to do so. Out of politeness.

Could it be said his action (or, inaction) was a matter of having learned the ole, "children should be seen but not heard," or, something like that? Having learned to feel one's self as unimportant, with nothing worth saying, or no good part to play (?) ... so just staying in the background, empty of interaction with life (empty garden/yard area, where things could grow).

We may learn to call such comlexes "polite" (I know I did) when, really, their origin lies in some emotional wound. I went through much of my life, often quiet around some others or in groups because I felt like an outcast, not as good as, etc. Of course, I compensated... In my own inner thought process, I "pretended" that they (the others) were actually beneath me, that I remained silent because my thoughts were loftier than those I was in company of. I pretended I existed on a higher intellectual level, better than them. Truth was, I felt "less than," so pretended to be "better than."

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Kansas

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