This is not one of the "strange" feeling ones to which I referred. I'll be posting that one later.

I am at my analyst's home. It is enormous in comparison to her actual home in waking life. It is also of different design. The area (or room) I am in looks some like a classy conference location, yet is warm and hospitable feeling. The lighting is sufficient, but on the dim side. I am putting shoes on. Many women (about 150-200) are arriving. All enter into one location/room as if for a meeting. I see that ________ (Shamanic healer I used to work with) is present. Others also feel familiar to me. I have the sense that this congregation of women is coming together for the purpose of discussing me. I am also aware of a feeling of being “not one of them,” that I am not their equal. A part of me would prefer to duck away. Next, there is the serving of and eating food. I embrace a grey haired old lady who pulls me in very close/snug. As we hug, she puts an open-mouthed, lip-lock on my left cheek. She holds me close to her, my cheek stuck to her mouth for a long time. I feel the essence of her touch all through my being. I then go to pick up my plate of food from a table and walk over to the stove to add something to it. When I return to the table, I find a sweet potato is sitting where my plate was.

Kristi

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Kristi,
I will provide a response to these posts later in the day. Social duty calls, I must face the dragon.

Jerry

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Thanks, Jerry. Looking forward.

Kristi

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Hi Kristi,

read this dream earlier but no clear thoughts came up. Just read it again and suddenly i saw a picture.
At the analysts home; analyzing...brain. In the large room i 'saw' the brain. All people who are there to discuss you then could be all your own/inner thoughts about yourself.
An old woman...wisdom. She kisses you on the cheek. Kiss..mouth...communication. Is she maybe trying to make you feel more comfortable about your inner wisdom. Is she maybe saying that it's oke to trust this inner wisdom?
The sweet potato. Potato...earth...being one's real self...this can taste very sweet/ this can actually taste very good?

Greetings,
Mask

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Kristi,
A longer day than I had anticipated. Let me take a fresh look in the morning.

Jerry

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Kristi,
One of the primary rules of dream interpretation {as you know but others may not} is people in a dream are almost aspects of oneself. Or an important association to some aspect of the dreamer. Thus the analyst would be you, you are in the process of self analyzing {Individuation Process {as we know you are consciously engaged}. This opening statement sets the stage for the conflict/analyzing for the dream.

The enormity of the house {you engaged in self analyst} is a large part of the current undertaking in your waking life {dreams revealing what the waking life is experiencing at the time of the dream}. The different design, something different may be evolving to be revealed about yourself. It is not quite clear what that is {dim light}, the conscious yet to fully grasp this unconscious data. The shoes may refer to basic principles or foundations you have built your life on {consciously and unconsciously}. There are many competing aspects involved in these principles {150-200 women}. There is a desire to deal with all of these different aspects.

The healing process, among other aspects, is a familiar theme, an important aspect of any self analyzing. The inner discussion is of 'me', perhaps a direct reference to the ego self as the subject that requires healing. You some how feel you don't measure up. This probably would be addressing measuring up to self imposed requirements but also requirements of the self {me}. One aspect feels most out of place. The old lady may represent some 'old' aspect, something you may have recently 'embraced' as important to focus your attention. This aspect does need nourishment/proper attention. It requires {this is the feminine aspect being addressed} strong embracing and commitment. There is one item that needs adding to the already analyzing to this important part of you. The sweet potato, at the end of the dream, represents something important to your psyche.

The end of dream is so important, Jung held, because we cannot consciously influence on the outcome (i.e. change the end), and dreams so reflect the real situation.
This would point to the primary intent of the dream {as set in the opening statement, something that is or needs analyzing.

From the MDS Dream Dictionary: Potato - Unconscious contents that can grow to be consciously nutritious.

From the HyperDictionary Dream Dictionary: a sweet potato in you dream,suggests that your libido is stronger than the person that you are with or vice versa.

Analyzing libido: Libido in its common usage means sexual desire; however, more technical definitions, such as those found in the work of Carl Jung, are more general, referring to libido as the free creative—or psychic—energy an individual has to put toward personal development or individuation.

So, what are we dealing with? Analyzing yes. But to what extent is this undiscovered aspect addressing? Some still unconscious aspect that when discovered/realized will grow to be consciously nutritious.

What is central to the dream? Analyzing? Definitely a feminine aspect. What could be the theme the dream is addressing? Could it be over-analyzing? Something that comes to mind when I look back at the opening dream statement:

I am at my analyst's home. It is enormous in comparison to her actual home in waking life.

Perhaps not so much the analyzing itself, I feel that is always important to balance and harmony, but some aspect about yourself that has been over analyzed. Look at the possibilities and see if there is some fit to the dreamS to actual waking life experiences.

And if not analyzing yourself then perhaps a focus {which is analyzing} on some aspect that you perceive to be 'enormous' yet may be overly so.

Jerry

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Mask, Jerry,

Thank you both. There are some helpful associations I'd not thought of.

Not enough time to respond more this evening, but will come back to do so.

The sweet potato. It was cooked, hot, "ready to eat." It was a 1/4 wedge of a whole. Hmmm... May the message of the dream somehow indicate what makes the 4, completes the 3?

Kristi

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The sweet potato and its description may be important. The inclusion of such adjectives is imperative when considering the possibilities of an interpretation. The sweet potato is most likely related to some aspect of your psyche. Being hot and ready to eat and 1/4 wedge, that may suggest important clues to the dream. Especially since it is at the end of the dream. We must always provide the whole dream as it occurred or vital possibilities may be missed in an interpretation.

What do you think the 'hot and ready to eat' sweet potato is saying about the dream, and you?

Jerry

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Yes, it is my analysis, and though there is a mirror and helpful guide in the form of my analyst, Jerry is right…it is ultimately myself that is the analyst. It is important for us to remember this, even when we receive helpful information here on the forum, or elsewhere. It is ultimately our own inner self that works to put the pieces of the puzzle together ~ or, we could say, take them apart. Both are true.

Not only did I leave out details regarding the sweet potato, but something else as well, that I will share as I go. I do know it is important to include all such details, yet, I sometimes omit them, unintentionally, when I record the dream.

I was seeing my analyst’s home as a sort of container of our work together, as if reflecting to me that there is an expansion of my view of myself underway ~ or, said another way, my ability to perceive and understand myself will grow greatly via my work with her. So, an affirmation, in this sense … for all relationship is alchemical. The other thing is that I seemed to have a feeling sense that the topic of the meeting was ‘new consciousness,’ that this is what I was ducking away from – perhaps feeling myself not ready. Another clue I did not share is that the room in which the actual meeting was being held, that the women were entering into, was very well lit. They passed through the more dimly lit room to get to the brightly lit room. So, this may indicate that through the work in the dark (shadow work), all these other (150-200: “many”) personas/complexes/selves will become more clear/apparent to me/brought into consciousness.

What I have said above, confirms what Jerry said in his second paragraph of his post providing an interpretation. Yet, his mention of the possibility of whether or not something is being over-analyzed gave me good pause. For this is something I have done. And, I am happy to say, it is beginning to fall away. It is one of the main reasons I left my former analyst. I felt she did not have the ability to help me "go through.” Any more, there seemed only a spinning of circles. And I needed to begin to work in a new way. This is not to blame my own over analyzing on her, for I am a VERY analytical person. Further yet, this habit of over analyzing is something the Shamanic healer (present in my dream) frequently called to my attention. t is something I have become much more "consciously" aware of over the past months. It is a critical, analytical voice.

The other twist presented by Jerry is that the "old" lady represented something "old in me" that required embracing with nurture. This is true … and, I already knew … but did not associate the two "olds". I just saw a (wise) old lady who was communicating something very important to me (while also knowing I needed what she was giving).

The cheek kiss she gives me through a long hold is as if saying, “I will not let you go.” “You are this important.” “You mean this much.” “You are this sweet.” She was really trying to get a message across to me … to embrace my inner healing work (with my inner child, from where arises the “I do not measure up” belief/feeling) in this very same way. Wonderful to have been presented this aspect of the wise old woman just after the wise old woman who “means business” and to “get me going” digs in my kitchen (place of nurture) cabinet (place of storage) as if to find and tell me “you have this within you.” This is what she brings to me, gives to me, what is to become a part of me. This is what I am to take in. It is time to eat (digest/ingest/integrate/”know”) this, now.

I was curious on how sweet potatoes may have come to be regarded as symbols of libido. The psychic energy of the wise, nurturing old lady surely "feels" present in me, so much so that I worry over "possession" by this aspect. Perhaps she is just a disciplinarian, really intending to keep me on track with all this. Anyhoot, here is some information on sweet potato…

From: http://74.125.95.132/search?q=cache:bgJcXb5QrrMJ:www.demenvironequity.net/natural-aphrodisiacs.htm+sweet+potato+aphrodisiac&cd=6&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
Aphrodisiacs are connected with love, fertility and energy. Since ancient times it was said that certain plants, flowers or herbs, whose natural form resembles the sex organs, were used to stimulate sexual appetite. Can also be found in fruits and vegetables, as symbols phallic banana, cucumber, sweet potato or asparagus, and vaginal symbols such as oysters or clams. The anatomy of fruits like pears, papayas, avocados, ethereal is also asocial the contours of sexual organs.

I also found that certain nutrients (zinc and vitamin B) are said to increase libido.
Sweet potatoes containe these.

And, from this site: http://pleasureprinciples.wordpress.com/natural-aphrodisiacs/
Eating a sweet potato in your dream, suggests that your libido is stronger than your mates. Sweet Potatoes contain a compound that is needed to produce the sex hormone estrogen. It is also the richest, low-fat source of vitamin E, which is excellent for the heart and libido because it prevents cellular waste, but it slows down menopausal symptoms.

Kristi

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All of these recent dreams are really very powerful.

Looking more at this one, I see that the healer I worked with is the only person I see/identify in this dream. I had significant projections with her. I did feel "not her equal." The 150 - 200 others that are familiar to me may well be those projections that I am in process of withdrawing/calling back into consciousness (light in the meeting room)...to myself. Likewise, it may be showing a significant "healing" that is underway within me consistent with this movement. I do believe this is also true.

Another detail that I did not make clear about the old woman who appears... When she held me there for that long time with her open lips locked onto my cheek, it was as though she was trying to suck me in. She was sucking on me (but without using her tongue). Any ideas?

Kristi

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Kristi,
From the HyperDictionary: Seeing your cheeks in your dream, symbolizes commitment, intimacy, and closeness. It also reveals your strength of character and your opinions.

Dreaming that someone is sucking on you, suggests that you are feeling drained, physically and/or emotionally. You feel that you are too much of a giver in a situation or relationship.

Sometimes the most obvious answer is overlooked. Does any of the above fit with your current emotional life?

Jerry

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Also: Sucking is an infant’s first instinct and can portray very basic needs that are not being met.

It can also mean: "being drawn into something."

If Old Lady in fact does = "old," something old in me, and not (just) wise old woman, then it may have been pointing to exactly what my next dream of the following evening brought, an invitation to nursing (think "suckling," here, for purposes of connecting the two) with a new mother.

And, of course, we have the food (nurture/sustenance)in this dream.

Then, the other evening, as I lay for sleep, somewhere between wakefulness and falling to sleep, I suddenly become aware of imagining my analyst and I are standing in the dark before a dark cave. Having entered some distance into the cave, a young woman emerged from the darkness (I thought her to be a young mother)... A moment later, several children came from the same direction as the young woman. They all wore a single layer of old clothes. And all seemed some afraid, timid, in need of warmth, touch, love, nurture, clothes, food ... etc. I felt good, glad, that they trusted me enough to come forward to me when I entered.

This (need for nurture) was one of the things that kept me going back to the healer ... as she had a very, very beautiful, motherly, nurturing energy.

But, as I shared once before, the relationship with her became one of dependenc - and I was not growing there.

Due my experience with my birth mother, I have had a deep mother wound, I have described the wound as being like a vaccuum, a black sucking hole that drained life/love, instead of giving life/love. You may see what I mean if you imagine a child's dependency on mother (complete dependency, as is true for all of us as children) and the needs of that child/infant not being met, how that leaves (the soul of) a child to feel... When a cry is not answered, food is not given, a warm touch does not come. I have what seems a pre-conscious feeling memory of a sense of complete absence of any bonding with my mother. It has been so powerful, I've often wondered how any one human being could feel such a painful yearning for nurture. Perhpas it is just part of the archeytpe of abandonment that the Gods saw fit to give me in such an enormous way, such that I used to cry...no, moan and groan through seemingly inhuman sounding sobs, feeling the despair of abandonment by mother, father, God, Life.

Seems I have a cave full of children still needing so much more love.

Getting awful wordy this morning.

Oh, Jerry, I could pick someone and say they are draining me emotionally. My ego could make something up for the sake of satisfying the question, and thereby not explore my history further. BUT, where would the roots of any sucking dynamic in the present lay? In one's (my) past, in what I have shared above.

The wound may be older than this life alone.

This sharing makes me think of one of Jung's quotes:

Kristi

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I have been feeling fairly emotionally drained the past few weeks, since I quit smoking. The smoking is what I used I medicate my emotions. This is an "OLD" sucking/bleeding wound. A soul wound. I've not even the energy to look at the dreams of others right now. That's okay. The time will return. Right now, I need to tend to these inner matters.

Kristi

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I highlighted the darker green above, for emphasis.

Here we go... It goes back to what I said earlier, about the wound with my mother having been a sucking wound ... sucking the voice right out of me...that of not being able to speak authentically ... having never learned to speak my truth. It went on to seem that nothing was quite true, but that is another part of the story. This surrounds the fact that the incest/abuse in the home was something known by everybody, but never dare be spoken about. When my own birth mother refused a call of help from my older sister, my mother screamed/hollered at her, blaming her for my father's actions. Standing there, my young self interpreted this in many ways, such as, "you are wrong, because it will happen to you, and you will be wrong, not good enough to be loved or protected, and don't dare ever speak about it, don't dare ever ask for help, or the witch will attack you, too, so just stuff it, just stuff it all, don't challenge Mother, just pretend you are not, just pretend you do not exist, just pretend you do not have a voice, etc." - you get the idea.

This is part of what happened in my relationship with the healer. This aspect of my childhood wounding was catalyzed (as I had significant mother projections with her) ... and though not quite as pronounced, it was also catalyzed in my realationship with my former analyst, significantly toward the end, when I began to try to voice/assert more of my own developing opinions.

So, yes, this is still a prominent issue that needs healing in my emotional life. Perhaps the 150-200 woman are aspects of my voice that I need to find. Or, my wanting to duck away in the face of all these women, is just showing how significant an issue this remains for me, not knowing who I am, still not knowing my own voice.

I am finding, in my association with Ammachi, that (as Mother, constellating the positive mother) it is like looking into a mirror with her, showing me all the negative mother, too. And, in that, very healing.

Kristi

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Face the dragon?

You have a mother in law or a wife? hehe.

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Hi Kristi,

though only 'knowing' you through this forum/ your dreams i must say i admire your will to fight yourself through all your unconscious 'beasts'.
Somewhere else Jerry already wrote about 'karma' on the forum. Before i started (again) on this forum i also had another forum in mind, but decided to get active on this one and in short time i already knew i had come to the right place in the right time.
To read your part about your smokingbehaviour i even had to laugh out loud..because your smoking behaviour is just like mine...secretly. I don't even need a smoke when i'm with people who don't smoke at all.
But besides the smoking..i realise i only just made a few steps on the path that you are on..seemingly some steps further...but it helps me to read your dreams, your problems and good things, your progress.
Sometimes i wish there were far more people around me on this path of becoming more conscious of the person he/she is deep inside. It can feel very lonely. Sometimes i throw it all aside, but in no time it start to pull me again, over and over and somehow it feels like it's meant to be that i 'walk this path' i've been on for a long time already.

I think a 'wish you all the luck, strength and patience' is in place...

Mask

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Mask,
The 'hero journey' can be a lonely trek. In fact the isolation of being at some time in life is one phase in that journey. But it is but one phase or part of the path to wholeness, with discovering new avenues of learning should also be a part of the long road to Individuation. I am not familiar with spiritual groups in the Netherlands and there may be few that 'possess' the 'gnosis' that is obtained in the study of Jungian psyche and what I believe the best path to a harmonious life. I did notice the breakdown of 'religious groups in the Netherlands when I Googled that info and the biggest was 41% non-religious. I wish Americans possessed such balance in their approach to spirituality {better to be non-religious, spiritual and open minded than to be constrained by any one religion, especially when that religion is so male dominated}. I suggest you continue to look, using the internet in your search for like minded people. They are there, somewhere within reach, the soul always has such devotees no matter the country.

Personally I went through a stage of re-integration into church life that lasted for several years before dissolving into disappointment due to ego dependence by each church. Non-tradition christian churches such as Unity Churches and Religious Science were part of that experience but perhaps the most meaningful and closest to acceptance was the Unitarian/Universalist churches, humanists that accept anyone who is seeking spiritual nourishment without having to bow to a dogma that has so many limitations. I doubt if there are such groups in your part of the world but inquiries by Googling may produce some luck in locating such spiritual cousins {these spiritual groups best mirror Jung's philosophies, other than looking to the Eastern philosophies}.
My philosophy today when it comes to spiritual nourishment? I find a waterfalls or take a hike in the woods or mountains. Nothing says spirit than does the spirit within nature. Which of course is within all things.

Jerry

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Thank you very much, Mask.

"My will" actually often gets in the way. I do my best, and then my best to let go. And I also do my best to remember to pray.

It is lonely. Jerry mentioned "isolation." I have been in isolation for several years, and have more to go.

Kristi

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This dream was addressing the mother complex that has sucked my truth, my voice, my authenticity, out of me. The many woman may actually have (also) been telling of the constellation of this, for it was greatly constellated in my previous work with the shamanistic healer, with whom I had significant mother projections.

Kristi

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