This dream has me stumped. I woke from it incredibly happy, and the feeling has lingered for many hours. If anyone has some thoughts, I would really appreciate you insight. Thanks!

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In a very dark Gothic city setting, quite reminiscent of the Batman movie of 1989, I was a member of some sort of underground group fighting evil. My fiancé was someone who looked like Michael Keaton and had a role quite similar to Batman’s.

We got around the city using a very fast vehicle. The city was built atop mountains or foothills and the roads were steep and narrow. The group taught me how to drive the vehicle and I loved the speed and the feeling of almost zero-gravity as I drove down the steep hills. I reveled in the exhilaration of multiple g-forces slamming me back against the seat as I climbed the next hill.

Eventually it was discovered that I was dying, and my fiancé attempted to keep me more or less sequestered from the group’s activities, but I wanted to perform one more task before I died. I also wanted to get married, but my fiancé told me that he couldn’t do that because he had to start looking for a new partner. He could not tolerate being alone.

I pleaded with him daily for both things, but he kept refusing. Finally, as I was becoming visibly weaker, I petitioned the group to help me fulfill one more mission. They agreed and helped me. I was to meet another member at a bank or some other significant and old established business. Two keys were required to enter the vault, and I would carry one on a neck chain. The other group member carried the other.

The key I had was small, gold or brass in color, and had a geometric shape almost like a hexagon but not quite.

I drove our vehicle very fast and enjoyed my last super-speedy ride through the hills of the city. By this time I had to have oxygen, and it was attached to my nose by black rubber tubing. I reached my destination happy and full of good memories of that drive. They were feelings of exhilaration and delight that I wanted to carry with me after I died.

The other group member was already inside the building, and he put his key into the lock and turned it before I could get my key from around my neck. The alarms sounded, but I smiled because my work was finished. Whatever the mission was, I had completed it.

As the other group member and I escaped, the only other thing I wanted was for my fiancé to hold me as I died. I loved him so very much. He was indeed my soulmate.

We were able to meet up with all of the other members including my fiancé (who had been looking for me), and he took me into his arms. As he held me, he pinched off the black rubber oxygen tubing and told one of the female members that I wouldn’t feel anything. It was the most loving act I had ever experienced.

I struggled feebly for a moment and then died happily – even joyously – as my lover held me in his arms. I felt more happiness at that moment than ever before in my life

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 in Denver, CO

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Laura,
First let me say I have a fascination with the number 9. The year you quote from your dream, 1989, added together equals 27 {which is a number I am currently experiencing quite often} which when added together does equal 9. In Greek mythology the number 9 represents the Goddess. The Goddess in Jungian 'speak' is the higher feminine Self, a quality that is most necessary to achieve wholeness and balance in life.

There may be a 'psyche' connection {as dreams sometimes do} to your life, especially if there is a conscious search for spiritual nourishment and personal growth. Let's look at the dream and see if there is a connection.

The Gothic city setting may suggest this aspect of the dream is addressing mid-life issues {Gothic being a style belonging to the 'Middle Ages'}. At the age of 53 you are deep in that stage. The city would represent you in some capacity. The underground group could symbolize those inner unconscious forces fighting ' the evil' within {emotional conflicts}. The whole paragraph may be addressing unconscious associations {as all dreams do}, Batman, underground, Gothic setting {the Middle Ages were a time of gloom and doom}. This first part of the dream would be the the initial situation pointing at central conflict/drama expressed in dream {see How Dreams Are Structured in my page A Simple Guide to Dreams}. The movie and Michael Keaton may have associations of real life experiences or preferences {this particular movie was on cable TV recently}.

Your fiancé may have actual waking life associations. Where does he fit in with this adventure you are experiencing? He also may represent an animus aspect. If so it may represent something that you are 'betrothed'. Perhaps the spiritual, as in the same manner Mother Teresa saw herself as being betrothed to Jesus {Jesus representing our highest spiritual identity}.

The city was atop mountains which may suggest you have already reached a 'pinnacle' in your search for wholeness. The narrow roads may also suggest you have 'narrowed' your search to appropriate knowledge that fits your psyche. You have placed yourself on a 'fast track' to enlightenment and are enjoying the great many benefits of such 'inner resources'. The exhilaration of driving down the steep hills may suggest negotiating the trials of society with exhilaration {as an enlightened person would}.

Death in a dream most always means an end to some aspect in life and very seldom an actual death. You may have arrived at that point where you are casting off the final bondages of the 'evil empire' {which I see as social duty holding us back from following our bliss}. Wanting to marry would be the final and complete surrender to this higher aspect of your being. The part about your fiancé not being able to oblige in this marriage may have answered my question about how he fits in your journey. Symbolically a fiancé may suggest there is that masculine aspect that is not willing to go along. This would not be unusual since in most Western cultures the masculine defies submitting to the high feminine, perhaps a connection the number 9. We all possess both qualities, masculine and feminine. The masculine is thought as superior but in Jung's approach it is the feminine which holds the upper hand. When we look at the qualities of Jesus {or the Buddha} we seen compassion, caring, giving, all feminine qualities. God is more of the masculine type. The masculine can not tolerate being alone, whether it be your fiancé {which may be saying something about your perception of his personality-and if an intuitive perception most likely true}. In the psyche there must be a balance of feminine and masculine {with a leaning toward the feminine} to achieve wholeness. Neither can survive alone.

Follow your bliss. The "follow your bliss" philosophy attributed to Joseph Campbell. Other than his popular 6 hour series that is still a favorite program used in fundraising from PBS, his notable influence on George Lucas {one of many film makers/celebs} and his Star Wars Trilogy is a legacy that remains long after Campbell's death in 1987. {Watch the YouTube videos
George Lucas on Joseph Campbell

The one more task you wish to achieve, something that may affect the changes in life you are seeking, the one last thing to finding balance and harmony in life. I sense this is speaking to actual waking life goals as well as inner goals. Being weak may be addressing a weakness in confronting this final 'dragon' in life {I look at dragons as barriers to wholeness, achieving your bliss, most often social dragons that must be confronted daily as well as internally/psychologically}.

Wanting both things may represent a conflict. Again perhaps something in your waking life. The group, internally, would represent the whole self, a merging of character and personality. Externally it may be addressing an actual group. Are there such groups who are in your life supporting your journey? You have to confront the old self, the established self in order to achieve enlightenment to a new being. There are two keys to achievement. This again may be speaking to actual waking life associations. The inner group would represent your whole psyche. Going inward the two keys may represent psyche possibilities, masculine/feminine being one. The vault would be the deep unconscious {anything that hides your values/principles is usually represent unconscious associations}. Going to the deepest parts, which again you may be ready to do if in fact you have consciously taken the journey to wholeness {which would reflect Jung's Individuation Process}. One aspect of your psyche, that higher Self, would hold the first key. The second key may be the external carrying of this process of achieving the Highest Self. The neck connects the body and mind, or the psychological and the material body. There is often a conflict of those two aspects that prevent wholeness {perhaps an achievement of the inner aspect but not a complete attaining of the outer}

The key that is 'almost' a hexagon. That reminds me of the number 3 vs the number 4. In Christian theology 3 represents wholeness, the highest quality. In Jungian psyche it is the number 4. So the number 3 would be one short, not quite there. The six sided hexagon, less one would represent the same thing, not quite there. It may also address another number just one short of wholeness, the number 5. I see 5 as the number for changes. Another aspect to death, death to the social being, changing the attitude to the inner self, the spiritual Self {Jesus?Buddha controlling the psyche and not the dictates of the body or social being}.

The next paragraph suggest you have reached a pinnacle, have enjoyed the fruits of that labor, but you are now in need of oxygen {inner spirit, perhaps creative spirit}. The adventure has changed you {death to the old self, life to the new}. But there is a hint of regression {memories}. Could that be due to your fiancé?

You have tasted the fruits of new knowledge, spiritual/creative knowledge and it has become your source for inner strength. That key has been turned. This was done and that aspect of your life is in its permanent place. But there remains that outer element to be resolved. But that is a constant in life {The first Buddhist saying is 'life means suffering of the Four Noble Truths}.

The next paragraph about your fiancé may be addressing that one waking conflict that remains unresolved. You very much want him to participate in this inner journey you have discovered. Again, is there such a conflict? Metaphorically, the inner fiancé, may be the animus not wanting to completely and wholly submit to the feminine. This is a norm in life, as is suffering, since we do live in a society where the influences are constantly masculine. The social dragon is driven by patriarchal dogma.

The last two paragraphs suggest a complete surrender to love, a union of masculine and feminine. I see this as the inner Self. There may still remain the waking question of your real fiancé. But the happiness and joy you feel from the dream suggests there is something within that leads you to believe everything will fall into place after all is said and done. This is the realization of the hero adventure in his/her journey to wholeness. It may be intuitive {an established feminine quality}.

One last observation. You used the term 'numinous' in the heading of your dream. This is a term Campbell used often and one that remains within my psyche for its fullness of meaning. Along with the year 1989, the fact that you have posted a dream here at the Forum, and you may have reached that highest elevation to Self, there may be an element of Synchronicity involved. In my journey such an event occurred in 1992 when I first saw Campbell in his The Power of Myth on PBS.. Such possibilities are often important, if in fact this is the case.

Look forward to your response.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Thank you so much for your detailed and highly intuitive reply, Jerry!

I have been considering all that you have written, and much of it rings true to one degree or another, although I'm still uncertain of the entire interpretation (however, some of my dreams are never fully elucidated for months or even years after I've had them).

I would like to respond at least in part by email, as some aspects that may be involved in this dream are of a highly personal nature.

Thank you!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 in Colorado

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Thank you, Jerry!

Perhaps I should have told you a bit about myself first. A deeply personal experience has left me indignant and angry. I have shed many, many tears over this situation and I am wounded to my most inner being.

But it has been a very long time since this event took place, and in many ways I feel that this part of the journey is ending. It may be time to move on.

Backing up to the beginning of your response, menopause has become a fascinating liberation from hormonal demands. I feel somewhat like the tarot representation of the High Priestess, and thus concerned mainly with higher spiritual aspirations, as opposed to mundane (and oddly now distasteful) fleshly matters. As Einstein said, "I want to know the mind of God". Heck, I've got a couple of billion questions for Him/Her!

Just a bit of free thought here, but Batman in my mind is indeed the "Dark Knight" - able and willing to deal with the ugliest of crimes and criminals. In this manner, could it be that my animus has assumed the Dark Knight role to give me the strength to look at and deal with evil? Kind of an interesting thought because as a human, my drives and urges are the same as anyone else's, I just usually don't act on them.

I've long admired Michael Keaton's interpretation of Batman. To me, only Michael Keaton has captured the essence of the Batman. Also, many of his mannerisms are similar to mine, from the ability to deal with the highest social strata to the lowest, the need for meditative solitude and privacy, a preference for night time to get real work done, and a deep sense of personal obligation to deal with dark forces that others cannot or will not confront.

I want to incorporate the Dark Knight into my being, so this may be where the fiance part comes into play. But wanting and having are two very different things. The Dark Knight does not want to join me in my quest. To have him, I must stay in his world, and evidently I cannot.

I guess the primary reason for not staying in his world would be because it requires being *engaged* with life. Quite frankly, I'm tired of this world. There is no peace or stability anywhere. The individual's talents are NOT the focus or direction behind society, but rather mindless conformism to social ideals. The past with its rich history and traditions is ignored, if not actively avoided.

My response has been fairly long-winded, so I'll stop here. I sincerely appreciate your efforts on my behalf, and for inspiring my inner investigations. If you think of anything more about this dream, please let me know. Thank you!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53 in Colorado

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Laura,
I appreciate the detailed follow-up response. Let me see what I can do to further the conversation.

The first thing I would like to address is your 'admiration' of Michael Keaton. Often we have celebrities appear in our dreams and the usual question is why. Your identification with his 'dark' mood best summarizes the answer. His 'dark mood', his mannerisms fit with your perceived personality. This 'personal' identification with some aspect of a celebrity, indeed of any person is usually the reason such people appear in our dreams. They are in some way 'like us'.

That out of the way. One aspect of the possible symbolism of 'Gothic' I overlooked is the 'depression' it could represent. In fact the whole 'dark mood' fits with this possibility. There probably have been those days of depression that would be fitting of the Gothic setting.

But you state this is actually a part of your personality, indeed a positive one, the identification with Keaton/Batman being those qualities possessed by you and them. Has this always been the case or is that a change that has evolved with time {and age}? I get the sense the dream is addressing many aspects of your personality {group}. There is one aspect of your being that wants to/needs to escape {As the other group member and I escaped}. And there is the other group member, a masculine aspect, that is already within the building, you {The other group member was already inside the building}. This member that is within you may be associated with the 'dark' personality, of Keaton and Batman both being male.

As I look back over the dream it becomes obvious that all of the characters are male. This would indicate, in Jungian lore, that you are dealing with animus aspects. I look for personality traits in dreams {and often find them}. Such revealed traits in our dreams often provide clues to those personality issues, with the intent of exposing a condition that is either out of balance or a primary driving force in the personality. Batman, with his deeply dark demeanor, does seem to fit with traits you possess, a shared association stated in your response.

My question is did this dark attitude begin with the personal experience you spoke of in the beginning of your response. The strong masculine associations in your dream would represent some 'strong' attitude/aspect that has roots somewhere in your life. Most likely, in my thinking, such deep personality attitudes/traits begin much earlier in life. Are there issues from childhood that would add to this darkness?

The ending of the dream may have great importance {see How Dreams Are Structured in my page A Simple Guide to Dreams}.
It reads:
"I struggled feebly for a moment and then died happily – even joyously – as my lover held me in his arms. I felt more happiness at that moment than ever before in my life".

Could this represent the the ending to the personal experience that left you indigent and angry? You stated you feel this part of the journey is coming to an end. Perhaps the dream is addressing this fact, which would be a positive.

And finally, the desire to incorporate the 'Dark Knight' into your being. Could that desire fit with the angry darkness that has possessed much of your energies, a need to bring out the 'hero within', the dark self you identify with but in the form of a 'savior' of sorts? This again does seem to get back to personality, this dark side being the strong masculine aspect that makes up much of who you are/may be. This may beg the question about the dark masculine; was there such a person, real and not a dream person, early in your life that pushed you toward this attitude of 'darkness'? Darkness within a dream is 'very' often symbolic of deep unconscious aspects. The duel role of the word would easily fit with Jung's assertion that all dreams, in fact all dream symbols, are subject to duel meanings within a dream.

A final ending. As for "for inspiring my inner investigations". That is what dreams are about, the intent to get the dreamer to look deeper with them self to discover what is truly there. And when that is done properly the true identity is revealed, and more often than not aspects that were not known or realized come to the surface. Balance is the goal of dreams revealing the deeper self.

Your response is welcomed and any input by others is also. There may be shared experiences that will help in your discovery of self/Self that may be of value. I hold only one perspective and as good as I may be {or think I may be} in understanding dreams there is always someone who holds similar experiences/inner knowledge that will be of greater help.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes