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Another checkpoint

The dream seems to have an earlier start but i can't really recall this. From where i do recall i am in an old free standing house somewhere in the woods. In the start that i can't recall i feel like it had to do with how i got to this house.
I enter the house with a few other people; a former classmate/friend of mine (woman) and a fatherlike type. I think this person looked like my father but seemed to be this former friends father.
The house is really old and seems to only have a groundlevel, which exists of only one room. This room isn't exactly big and looks like it's a kitchen. There's a table and benches and the kitchen itself. All is of wood and painted in white. That fatherlike figure and me came with the former friend to help her renovate this little house. I really loved the inside of the house and was already trying to see how things would look once renovated.
The fatherlike figure vanishes and instead now another friend of mine (who is also still friends with that former friend) is there. This friend had an appointment with some friends of her and we seemed to have planned to come with them. But now these friends of her have arrived i'm hesatating about going with them. I'd rather stay in this house or go do something else then go with them. It feels like i don't particularly like these friends of her.
They leave the house and i follow still not knowing what i'll do. But then it seems a little later. Her friends have left without us and we are going for a walk in the woods. It feels like we have a goal to do so, but can't recall this. Taking the road (without a real road) through the woods feels like a dangerous thing, but we are determined.
At first i just seem to follow the other two and the one i'm still friends with takes the lead. But while getting deeper and deeper in the woods i slowly take over the lead. At one point we approach a house. Besides the house is a high metal fence and from there a high brick wall. At the fence a russian man is sitting on a chair, guarding the place. It is exactly where i take over the lead. At first, when seeing the wall and the guard, having a gun in his hands, i say to the other one that we can't pass here; that our trip ends here, mostly because of the gun and the man being a russian. He will never let us pass and he will be a dangerous person. But somehow these thoughts dissapear into the background, because a little later we have passed the checkpoint unseen. Now we're walking very close to the wall, ready to climb over it. At this point the russian man has seen us and approaches us. I am afraid he's going to kill us now, but instead he offers us something that is wrapped in paper. He's holding out both of his hands with it, wanting us to take it. It is drugs. I think: "You see, he really is dangerous.", "Oke, he's not going to kill us, but instead he wants to make us do something very wrong." I tell him we are not going to take or use his drugs.

At first, when seeing this russian with gun guarding the passage there really was a feeling of dissapointment; that we had only just begun and already were stopped. It felt as a surprise when shortly after seeing this we seemed to have safely and unseen passed the dangerous russian, wondering how this had been possible. Again the dissapointment when the russian seemed to have seen as after all; like he didn't have to stop us at first hand, because he had all the time to stop us later. Like we were trapped anyway. The drugs being offered feels like if we accept and use the drug this will be like a wildcard to be free to follow this road.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Re: Another checkpoint

Getting into the woods i think is about trying to make my way through repressed things, emotions fears...through the unconscious.

The russian man with gun at the checkpoint, checking and maybe stopping people from going into the woods...both checkpoint and russian man are my inner guards. The checkpoint i think is the image for my need to control things...to be in control.
The russian guard...in the dream this man feels wrong, dangerous, maybe even corrupt. If i would pass him against his will he would possibly kill me.
The controlling/checking 'thing' in this i think could stand for how i try to control myself...the things i do to give myself i have control over myself...it would be good to do some more thinking about 'dangerous', 'corrupt'.

Though the russian offering us those drugs in the dream felt like by accepting and using them would give us permission to go further into the woods, i now think this russian offering us drugs to use it ourselves is about what i do to myself to prevent myself from feeling and learning what is living in my unconscious. The drugs will takes all feeling and emotion away, will make me passive.
Where during the dream the thought of using the drugs for a wildcard or permission came from? I should look at the things i do that make me passive. Of course...again the smoking. But there will be more things.
I'm still wondered about the many things available for us people that makes us think we have all control over ourselves. Wondered about how easy and how often we are deceiving ourselves.
The luck, richness and beauty are lying at our feet, ready to be picked up, almost begging to get picked up. An image of this shows how easy it is. But then, why is it so hard to drop all control, to drop all fears and tears?
When 'corrupt' came to my mind, knowing that it's not the russian but me myself who's corrupt, i must admit i got a little shocked by the word itself. Corrupt...and i do understand what it means according to myself. How easy we can find it to call a government or other unknown people corrupt...the easiness in putting them in that corner. But when someone would call me corrupt i think it could be possible that i would almost yell in this persons face that i'm the last person on earth to be corrupt...though yes, i am corrupt where it comes to leading myself.
I think i'm starting to feel what's in my shadow. On one hand some of these things can scare me, but on the other hand there's an inner voice saying to me: "Hey, you're human..live and learn. You know what is good and what is bad. You know inside who you are and what you want in and out of life. You've been brought up well, so there's no need to fear."

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 36

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes


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