With Aaron W. (a close friend) He's driving my car, we are driving by a softball game. It is overhand men's softball and Aaron is excited about something, so he stops in the street and gets out. I am mad cause I'm afraid they'll hit a ball through my windows. I get out and run around to the drivers side to hide behind it in case they hit toward the car. Now I'm with Aaron in a kind of hospital room. A man is in a hospital bed, he is Aaron's friend. The man has a brother who is there, they look almost exactly the same, and they look like me, except they have light brown hair (mine is black). The man's wife is there, she looks like us, except she has a lovely chin, whereas ours are a little short and have skin folds (double chins). She says something. Someone brings to my attention a foamy padded tray on the bed. It has a soft mechanical hand in it that raises or lowers electrically. A baby is supposed to lay in the hand. The man invented this and I am envious and I marvel at it. On his bed is Jung's Man and His Symbols. I feel I am amidst people who I need to know. I struggle to say the right thing.

People fill the room, it becomes so crowded I am pushed outside the door. I'm standing next to a female coworker, we hug and kiss for a second. She kisses me a little obliquely. We walk back in, it is more like a larger banquet room now. People are here and there. I'm sitting talking with a woman about something. A middle aged woman asks us abruptly, "How is my building." She is standing above me. She says, "Well, it's not my building anymore, but I used to own it." It tell her, "It sure is big." The younger woman sitting next to me makes fun of what I said, punning my use of "sure". She says, "yeah I'm pretty sure about that" as if it was obvious. I'm a little embarrassed. My mom is there now, she makes a feeble attempt at expressing some concept to this younger woman. My mom moves toward the buffet food table and mentions at least she still has her son.

Behind my apartment on the lawn, hanging out with my wife, it is a nice sunny summer day. A man from the other side of our duplex comes over. I notice he has big ears (like me I think to myself), as he is talking. He must have just moved in recently. He's saying something about how the last guy who lived there had some Star Wars lawn sprinklers, and one broke, so he asked the manufacturer for a replacement but only received an equivocal reply from them. I notice then a puff of cigarette smoke coming from my wife who is sitting in a chair, it blows over my face. (My wife doesn't smoke, nor do I) I go over to his apartment. There are some people there. I meet a woman who says she lives in a small side portion of this house. She says her rent is low. Me and her are walking back towards my apt talking. She tells me candidly the man is a Republican, which suprises me cause I thought there was something counter-culture about him. She must have known I had a different view of him. He presented a liberal persona and appearance to me, like a progressive, as I believe myself to be. As if that matters to any dream interpretation.

I'll have to get back after work. Gotta run.

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Wondering if some of this points to social adaptation. Something I need all I can get of right now, despite having some individualistic and nonconforming convictions.

I deliver supplies to birth rooms, like bili-blankets and breast pumps. It is a more formal aspect of my job (taking stuff to hospitals), and can be socially challenging for me. Seeing these people as looking like me might be compensating for my conscious sense of alienation.

The electric hand is probably somewhat like a bili blanket. May that represent my inventive cerebral conscious/social side developing toward its proper functioning?

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I'm reading Man and His Symbols right now. Last week I read Joseph L. Henderson's chapter. He outlined the Hero journey very clearly. The basic idea being that the hero integrates his/her shadow in order to become "sufficiently terrible" in order to liberate the anima/animus from the inertia of a mother complex. Often the father is part of a man's shadow. He also said that the helpers and assistance in one's unconscious heroic journeys are compensating for the deficiencies in the hero's ego consciousness. Basically that the battles and adventures are in order to strengthen the hero's ego.

In trying to measure my adventures by this standard, I have noticed an odd thing. That when I reach a point at which a conflict has just been overcome, that I often tend to celebrate this with another man. I think this may represent an anima-like liberation in that these guys are usually close emotional friends of mine, yet it may suggest that my shadow work is incomplete and a lot of my energy is still bound to my mother.[size]

For instance, after a long emotional dream, at the very end, I was sitting with my mother behind the house on the edge of the lawn, looking at the creek. Mom said that there are motorcycle tracks down there, i.e. someone's been down there. I acted upset that someone's been on our property. She said it was Jennifer's sons (Jen, my childhood neighbor). Then she said that weeds grew in the ruts left by the tracks, and "that is what is so painful."

Recently I understood that those were my tracks, and in my adventure I have been trying to relinquish the comfort and security from pain that an infantile dream state provides.

Thanks to Jerry it is now recently clear that such a dream scene represents certain times in life where a conflict originated. That simple fact has done much to clarify what is for me a confusing multitude of childhood and teenage reinactments.

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Sam,
I'll try to give a response later in the day to your dream. I appreciate your own 'take' on their possible meaning. That shows you are truly interested in what they have to say.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Sam,
Parts of the first part of the dream that seem important.
"Aaron is driving your car".

"The man has a brother who is there, they look almost exactly the same".

"The man's wife is there, she looks like us."

'This friend', which is most probably an aspect of yourself, is in the hospital.

Are there elements in these statements that point to an identity crisis here? And does the fact in the dream your car is being driven by Aaron say something about those aspects that may be a reason there is the need for the hospital {"need for healing"}? What characteristics does Aaron possess that you identify with or are aspects you also possess?

The 'mechanical hand'. Could that be saying something about the lacking of thought or feeling? If you put these together what do you come up with. This is a question you should ask yourself.

The second part of the dream contains language only about women {"the feminine aspects}. This statement stands out;
She is standing above me. She says, "Well, it's not my building anymore, but I used to own it."

Add this statement to the statement in the first paragraph about mechanical hands, or lacking of thought or feeling. A man who is without the benefit of the feminine aspect would be a man without feeling {feeling being a feminine aspect}.

And then "your mom is there". Making a feeble attempt of expression. Is there associations here that fit in your life?

We return to the masculine and another aspect that you possess {big ears}. He just moved in recently. Is this a statement about a need to listen more to some aspect that has been ignored?

Then back to the feminine, I meet a woman who says she lives in a small side portion of this house". The house is you.

And then the opposites. The Republican with the appearance of a liberal persona and appearance to me. Does the appearance match the interior? There seems to be a conflict of sorts.

Let me know your thoughts to my remarks and see if we can learn more of the possibilities from this dream.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Here is what is most clear to me:

Aaron represents a socializing aspect. He was excited by the fraternal softball game, and had a friend or friends in the hospital (me presumably). This is supported by the end of a dream I had about him recently where I see him at a house sitting on an elephant. I want to go visit him, but I know he's with friends who I don't know and I'm reluctant to meet. (Perhaps Aaron is also pushing me towards my anima aspects, since I project a spirituality into him. Perhaps he is a spiritual masculine aspect that is cut off from my anima aspect.)

Apparently this social impulse is significant and necessary because of the hospital scene. Sequentially the people in the hospital room are the same people from the ball game. That they look only like me suggests my reluctance to interact with new and different people and situations.

I assume the hand and the females were the dream's attempt to address this deficiency. I wonder if the hand might be a kind of mitt. That it was electrically controlled might exhibit my fear of "touching" or coming to grips with this issue, or a desire to control its every move.

That the hand was so inspiring to me as an invention, (masculine trait) might be compensated by the woman saying "I used to own this place." The hand may be my desire to control and suppress feminine aspects, to eradicate them from my house.

The woman living in the little wing of the man's house obviously seems suppressed. The smoke in my face may be an insult for my masculine dominated attitude.

Her telling me that the man is a Republican may be trying to show me that he is a depiction of me. That I am the one who is too dominated by my masculine ego.

Was this man a symbol of a higher unity, that I should be listening to, or was he a characterization of myself, that I'm just babbling on about Star Wars without any feeling knowledge of it? Did the big ears mean I should listen to him, or to the femine who has been speaking so much during this sequence?
I suspect he is a characterization of me, that I should be listening to what the women have to say to me.

My mom is a traditional American woman, who is in subordination to my dad. She takes little to no interest in cultural or intellectual matters. Even though she raised me Catholic and implored me to get confirmed, which I did, I sense no real individual spirituality in her, rather just a kind of unconditional piety to the prevailing belief pattern. I'm hard pressed to think of a conviction or opinion that she has elaborated to me.

This may be part of the reason I have difficulty with my anima. Apparently, that is part of the hero journey for everyone though. Your comments helped me understand what I should have been capable of understanding. Thanks Jerry!!


It is odd to me because in my social aspect I am usually quite animated. I enjoy feeling toned discussions and enjoy coworkers who have this same tendency. As much as I enjoy living this way, I have noticed that I am often possessed by my emotions, that I get struck with sudden and inexplicable anxiety, and struggle to control it.

I have been trying to change my behavior to deal with this for about two years now. I realized life is not all rock and roll music and that I was only running from the more serious tasks life has set before me. I still love rock and roll, but I have found new things to explore, such as the psyche, history, comparative religion, and some new matters like ecology and politics that are more than just passing interests. More than anything, I hope this helps you better understand me, I know it's important. Thank You Jerry, I have a face to put to you, so here's mine.

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