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Farmilar boy and darkness

I was in the same dark room that I have been dreaming of since I was four years of age. But, something was different from all the other times in the nearly complete blackness that began with a rabbit hole. There was a mirror that appeared to be floor length but I don’t know where the floor begins nor where it ends in the cold, hallow darkness that wraps me in its dead arms. I’m drawn to the mirror like I was drawn to running out into the street after a bouncy ball or jumping out of a moving car when my mother was driving me home from my grandmothers, I was attracted to death. The mirror held no reflection seeing as nothing stared back at me when I finally reached it but that quickly changed when it began to be shadowed over by a gray mist that began to seep into my every sense making the world go blank around me, not that it wasn’t already nothingness. When the mist cleared a figure appeared in the mirror, a male figure. He stared at me with what I think was shock and awe shadowing his pure black eyes that haunted me to my very core since I first saw him at the age of eight. He appeared older before me with nothing covering his athletic body except a pair of black dress pants and some of his jet black hair that reached a little past his shoulders in a messy and spiked shag. He placed both of his hands against the cold, hard glass of the mirror.

“Lovette!” he cried in his accented voice.

“Rain.” I replied in a monotone with my eyes dead and emotionless.

“It’s not raining?” he said, confused.

My eyes were a dark and bloody red with flakes of dark brown instead of the steely blue that they usually were. Red tinted tears were rimming them ready to fall for reasons unknown. I began feeling dizzy and swayed back and forth on my imaginative feet which caused worry to stain the boy in the mirrors handsome face. He began pounding on the glass and repeatedly screaming the name Lovette to draw my attention and break free of his glass prison. The dream image of me just smiled and walked backward into a hidden trapdoor, beginning to fall down the rabbit’s hole once more emerged in darkness with no glimpse of the sought after light. It felt like an eternity as I fell at a quick pace that felt all too slow to me making me beg for the bottom that probably held metal spikes stained with the blood of non-existent others. And, as if an answered prayer I hit a cold concrete floor with a sickening crackling noise that echoed through the unfamiliar place like some sadistic taunt. I see my body laying there on it’s back like some broken and forgotten toy that nobody wants. I was on the verge of death and it wasn’t coming quick enough to end pain and suffering.

“Death!” I screamed at the top of my lungs making my throat feel raw. “End it you sick bastard! END IT!”

The sound of cold metal scraping against the concrete sounded in my ears making me cring slightly. It became louder as a clocked figure appeared from the darkness walking into the dim light that surrounded me and some of the area around me in a large circle. He dragged a raven colored sword behind him as if he was reluctant to end what has been set in motion forming this deadly dance that held no lead. He came to stand beside me with his sword lingering two feet above my still painfully beating heart.

“How long have we been playing these games, Thanos?” I asked the clock figure but looked to what would be the ceiling.

“Too long, Lovette.” was his reply as he thrust the blade into my chest causing blood to spray and gush around us.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 15, Louisiana

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: Farmilar boy and darkness

Rain,
The dream starts out with a mention of the age of four years old. Such inclusions of age are usually indicative of early life experiences where there was emotional conflict and pain. The dream language 'cold, hallow darkness' and 'dead arms' would also suggest such early life experiences depicting your present frame of mind due to early life 'trauma'. Attracted to death would support feelings of depression. Not having a reflection in the mirror would symbolize you lack the ability of being whole, that person you should be is not there. You probably have pushed or wish to push these early experiences deep into your unconscious so not to have to deal with the emotional pain. When you do focus on the experience {when the mist clears} there is a male figure. This 'haunts' you indicating perhaps either physical and/or psychological trauma at the hands of some male from early life. And older male hat is at the root of the lack of reflection of your true self {He placed both of his hands against the cold, hard glass of the mirror}.

'Lovette'. That could be a related to some personal name in your life. Or another term for 'love it'. Lyle Lovette or Lovette the porn star.

Rain. That is you. It is also symbolic of depressed emotions if not depression itself {rainy days, depressed feelings}.

The '{hidden trap door' would represent those hidden emotions and experiences that have you trapped in a world that is not what it should be {not able to be the true self that is balanced and happy}. The pain and suffering are real. The causes most likely early life trauma that has caused you to be someone who is not that happy teen that you should be. At the age of 15 these would have been more recent experiences {ages four and eighth not that long ago}. Perhaps they are still continuing, still going on, the mental and/or physical abuse.

Are you suffering from such emotional pain from early life experiences of physical and/or psychological trauma? If so what are the circumstances for which are at the root of this emotional pain? Is it still occurring? If so that needs to end. Either way I suggest, if I am correct in my assumptions, that you seek help, lawful help if there is continuing physical abuse and emotional counseling for the pain you are suffering.
Your response is important.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Farmilar boy and darkness

I guess the early life expierience you are talking about could be that I was dumped on my "parents" doorstep when I was a day old or at least that's how old my parents guessed. It was a rainy night which is why they decided to name me Rain instead of something normal. It always kinda bothered me that I never had the chance to know my real parents or at least the one that dumped me on that damn doorstep. I'm not really suffering from it because even my older siblings were adopted since my "mother" can't have kids of her own due to some freak accident she had years before she adopted my older sister Collie. No, man or prick of a boy has ever harmed me.

P.S. About the name Lovette I have just always felt that was my name because I have a vague memorie or some hallucination of a man's voice calling me that when I was a very young baby. Maybe, I'm just insane.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 15, Louisiana

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? no

Re: Farmilar boy and darkness

Rain,
Consciously, and at this stage of life, you may not be concerned. But unconsciously, and later in life, your early childhood will be a concern. Usually those things manifest themselves during the mid-life years when the focus is from looking forward to looking back. The harm I sensed may be one of 'not knowing' your true parents and the conflicts of those experiences.

Your vague memory of the name Lovette could be real. It was once thought that infants had a limited ability to understand. Now we know it is just the opposite. The earliest experiences in life are imprinted on the young psyche of an infant. If parents do not provide the adequate emotional nutrition a child needs early on the infant picks up on that. And it goes with the child throughout life. Or until there is a resolution of the original conflict that began so early in life.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes


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