A pretty intense dream i had last sunday:

In the dream i was taking classes in sort of a spiritual school...meditation classes and such. The school was situated in a huge and old building in what feels like England.
In between classes i then took a long walk in the huge garden surrounding the school. After having walked for a long time i seem to bump into one the teachers...a man. We fall in love straightaway...like love at first sight. He was a little bit longer then i am and had only little hear, very short, left on his head. We started kissing and got very intimite in no time. Then we got aware of the fact that we were in 'the open' and instantly went looking for a more covered space. We found it quickly in front of a door, where just before we arrived a servant went in the building. We got very intimite again and i just couldn't waite to feel him in me again.
It then is later and i think the servant must have seen that one of the teachers had a relationship with a student because suddenly we both get dismissed. We both leave the school on our own.
Then some time seems to have past and i'm back in England. I seemed to have known where the man lives because i then stand in front of his house and knock on the door. He opens the door and is very surprised and happy to see me and kisses me very gently on the mouth.
Time seems to have past again and i'm in my own country, in search of a house. I'm seeing a realestate person and in no time i have bought a big house, meant to live in with the teacher. It's my goal to live with him in this big house and to keep his little house in England so we can visit it every now and then.
Like we had made an arrangement one day then he comes walking into the garden of the big house. I'm in the garden and he kisses me again...again so very very gently. He makes me feel so good. It feels like this is the only thing i ever wanted. And it feels like it's going to last forever. Even more...i know it.

Hmm...wishfull thinking?
Animus?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 37, Holland

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Mask,
Hmm...wishfull thinking?
Animus?

Both. The wishful thinking. has 'romantic' emotions been a part of your thoughts of recent?
And 'he' probably represents your animus, that strong desire to 'have an intimate relationship' with your masculine self.

The servant seems relevant. Perhaps the message is it is time to leave the 'teachers' behind and be your own guru. I think it important to reach that point in time where one finally goes out on their own, leave the classroom where the teacher {for many of us that would be Jung and Campbell among others} controls to be your own master. Too often the 'student' never breaks away from the nest. Campbell stated this when he said a 'guru' could only lead you as far as their experiences. You must begin to rely on your own personal experiences and gained wisdom {personal experiences plus the gained knowledge from the teachers}.

In search of a house. This too could be 'being on your own'. That may be part of your desire/need to incorporate the masculine, to be strong and independent enough to take that great next step. It is something you desire {kissing you in the garden}. And when you do reach that place in your life, it is for ever more.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Hi Jerry,

i like what you wrote about the dream telling that it's possibly time to leave the teacher behind and be my own guru. Strangely i didn't think of this possibility at all, though in real life this thought has crossed my mind many, many times. There have been so many moments where i was looking at the books i have, searching what book i should (re)read. What book could be of service to me...And every time i ended up concluding that, for the time being, i'm quite capable, possessing enough knowledge, to get into action.
So i like this dream very much...that even deep down inside i'm asking myself to take that step and just see where it will take me.

To be dismissed, both teacher and student, felt kind of strange. To be dismissed because of the fact of starting a relationship. I asked myself why it was not oke to start a relationship (symbolically). It somehow felt like sabotage. Though there's also a little truth in the dream...in rl i'm afraid that, when i get into a relationship, my (spiritual) learning will stop. (though i know things will never really stop and besides that, i'm the one in control so i decide when things will stop). It just feels like i need to be on my own for some time to get me to a certain point. Might sound strange...?

When my 'dreaming' started i had several dreams containing 'England', which in dutch is 'Engeland', which then could be written down like 'Angelland'. Back then i gave 'England' my own interpretation...something like 'the other side'. Maybe not really 'the other side', but according to this dream, where we keep the teachers little house in England to get back to every now and then, England could be that silence, peaceful 'place' inside.

Maybe the dream is even showing part of my life. The spiritual school, where i attended classes like meditation could be symbolic of the year where i tried to meditate and from where my life took a whole other direction (getting to know the spiritual).
Because of s growing fear of the unknown this strange but beautiful period came to an end...could 'fear have been the servant'? Maybe. The years after this spiritual learning period there have been ups and downs and still they are part of my every day life. They are times that i really would like to live life like back in that period, to feel that peace, to live by the moment, go with the flow, but only thinking about 'the unseen' is enough to make me scared again, though i know this fear is keeping my life at a stand still, which i really don't want.
But on the other hand...fear comes back again and again, taking me down. These 'downs' make me enjoy the 'ups' even more (i think). But it's not just that. I have the feeling that by really letting me feel my fear for the unknown, this fear somehow seems to push me more and more into the direction of 'letting go and just go with the flow'...this is where i see my fear as the 'servant'. In the dream, while looking for a hidden place to make love, i saw the servant who just got in the house, before we arrived. I was afraid the servant could have seen us.
Hmm, while writing this last sentence i 'see' another of my fears...in the dream i'm afraid the servant has seen us...in rl i know i'm quite afraid to show my real Self. And i think this love-making between the student and the teacher is symbolic of my real Self. But then again...i still believe that fear can serve a person in a positive way...when one dares to face this fear. Because isn't it so that in that feeling of fear lies so much more...like love, strength etcetera?
Maybe bying that big house for 'us' is again, symbolic for the real Self...but then the real Self shown to the outer world. This house in England, the safe haven inside...it feels like this little house is saying: 'Don't be afraid, you will never be alone and you will always have something to come back to...it's not like the end of the world.' Haha.

The last months i've come to know what this whirling ball inside my belly is meaning/saying. I feel that 'ball' so often...sometimes it feels like heavily falling in love, other times like huge frustration and anger. And i know it's all about me, just not doing what i want/like to. I know, if i would use this whirling ball the right way it would serve me with so, so much energy and strength...i just know it. And, what a waist it is to just keep it whirling inside...

Thank you very much for your thoughts!
Mask

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Mask,
I will comment on all of your posts, hopefully later today. But it may be the weekend before I have the time to give a proper response. The social dragon is breathing fire and I do have the added responsibilities of a very sick cat, something that is very painful since she has been such a beautiful lady and can no longer take care of herself. I want to take as much time with her as possible. Thanks for your patience.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

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