Ela,
"{Do you believe it is possible to leave the questions of insecurity, lack of emotional support and self-confidence etc. alone and to rely on help of the inner Self?"

That is what the hero/heroine journey is about. Leaving those 'safe' confines of known qualities of the ego life to live a life that you truly wish to live {even though they only feel safe because they fill the requirements to make a living and abide by social rules}. Such a life is centered in the spiritual/creative aspects and not how society tells us how to live.

But that is the difficulty. Leaving the known world of ego self to discover and live a life of the Self. This is the 'bliss' factor I spoke of in my last reply. The real joy in life comes from the creative aspects. That thing you really love doing most, those artistic ambitions, painting, writing. Unconsciously this is where you want to be but consciously the real world prevents you from giving real effort to doing this. This is the problem we all face in the new millennium where social duty is a 'dragon' that has all the power.

In mythology, and in a world where the individual takes it upon them-self to live the life of bliss, the hero/heroine moves out of the world of social duty and enters into the unknown world of aspirations. This is the call to adventure and is the first part of the Campbell's Monomyth. He/she is confronted with the realities of the ego self, the life lived from social demands, those true life dragons that keep the individual locked away from self discovery and confined to the demands of the state/nation. For Americans it is a bit easier than for someone like yourself who has not had the freedoms we have known for so long. But all have the similar social demands that must be overcome.

This may be where you are in your life, yearning for those freedoms to be creative. This is natural at mi-life. The questions is can you, dare you go against the demands of the real world to become that artist you seek to be? There are many dragons to be slain in such an adventure, so fierce they could be 'deadly' {you may lose all the material worth, the life you have made for yourself, those possessions you have accumulated in the world of social obligations}.

I have been on my journey for some 18 years. It began at the same age you are now {42}. It has been a slow progression. It must be an evolution. The first step is to consciously begin that journey. One step at a time, staying the path {Monomyth}, a lot of discipline. But in the process you begin to realize that true bliss and life will become that bliss.

Just think. To live a life where those artistic energies are all you have to face each day. Now is where hero wishes to be. A long journey from here to there. But you must take the first step, a small one perhaps, and then the next and the next. It is easy to fall off the path but with perseverance and discipline, and the knowledge that your bliss will 'save' you, you will ultimately reach that place where life is bliss.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Jerry, thank you, you are right. Social dragons are mighty and I cannot easily kill them. Not because of our political situation – our counry has been free for 21 years, which is half of my life – but because I really need to earn money to pay for flat, food, bills etc.
But I was not quite exact in my question. I didn´t speak about social duties but about steps on the „inner way“ – like dealing with the shadow, male aspect…and their particular contain - that, as I suppose, are not finished in this phase of my life. Never mind. It is clear I must face these tasks.
Tonight I had really nasty, nightmarish dream. I think there is some connection between it and what we just discussed.
I was in the corner (with bookcases on the walls) of the living room in my mother´s flat. It was in the morning. My mother was still sleeping in her bedroom, but behind the leaf of the kitchen door there was probably my father (who is dead in reality) sitting and watching TV. TV was in the opposite site, on the diagonal, of the place of living room where I was. There was a programme about some famous German artist, who died lately. At first I saw his last work: it was textile picture with figure of weird huntsman with red cheeks, short black hair and green hat decorated by a feather. I knew that he appeared like a dwarf in this moment. The figure was stylized as in a fairytale cartoon.
Then they spoke about artist´s death. He was involved in some demonstration or similar action and police hit him to the face. This injury caused serious sickness, probably cancer, which destroyed artist´s face at all. Then doctors fixed his head in a gripper and all his necrotic tissue including eyes, nose, mouth was despatched by using of pincers. In this phase I tried not to watch neither to listen to TV, but I saw and heard anyway. After that he underwent another surgery but despite it he died eventually.
When the programme was near to its end, my mother came to the living room. I didn´t want her to listen to that. But she was not interested in it. She was occuppied by her travelling case lying on the floor in front of TV. It was open, almost full of clothes and I thought that she had reached its packing by some trick (it had been probably packed by me and my father).
Then I – as natural coward – was thinking about avoiding the fate similar to the artist´s one and decided not to risk any face injury, which means not to take part in demonstrations etc.

A huntsman – I think is Wotan/Odin /German(ic) origin, supernatural being, a hunter, the Lord of the Deads demanding human sacrifices/; the only mystery is his transformation to a dwarf, but also the dwarf is a creature connected with the death.
Odin sacrificed his own eye to obtain the wisdom (symbol of so called Wotan´s eye is very similar to the shape of unfinished „horoscope“) and now he demands the whole face and almost all senses for giving the wisdom? And because I (ego) refuse it, its death, animus becomes substitutive victim. It is not first time in my dream when animus is sacrificed instead me.
I know it is rather positive interpretation (although my attitude is wrong), there can be also more horrible.

Thank you, Jerry, if you can have a look at it. There is no hurry – I will not be on-line for some time, so you can have a rest from me :). Thanks.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 42, Czech republic

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Ela,
I'll give more time to this dream later. I have a serious ill cat and I want to spend some time with her this morning before I have to slay my 'social dragons' {work}.

The artist's death. And the beating 'he' took. Fixing that part of psyche seems to be a definite theme. It is very much in danger of dying.

The beating by police. Although your country has been free for 20+ years, those early days of your life are as important as any during your lifespan. Those experiences and influences may not be a part of the culture today but they still remain within your unconscious and any emotional conflicts that came during that period of time can be important. If you were at a time where you were exloring inner possibilities, but the culture was so restrained by political or personal turmoil, ten any unresolved issues are still looking for resolution. Have you looked back at your life to detremine whetehr those experiences during the first half of your life have unresolved emotional issues that were so strong they left an imprint?

As for what to do with working with the 'inner self'. Jungian psyche is all about the exploration of the inner self. His Individution Process is how I overcame my inner demons and with discipline most anyone can do the same. But you must be serious about this exploration or it may only lead further from that true self.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

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