Hi Jerry-

The main life experience that has been going on has been the ending of an affair and my desire to be back in relationship with that ex-girlfriend of mine. I feel trapped in other parts of my life and the freedom with which I expressed myself with her makes another relationship with her desirable.

At the same time I have experienced significant psychic energy through dreams and active imagination. I have been working for the past two months with my therapist to start understanding my anima figure and through that my early relationships with my parents - particularly my mother. I feel that I have made some significant progress over the last few weeks in that regard. We use my dreams regularly in therapy, although these two (which occurred back in August) were not ones we discussed. I have been interested in them more recently because of the intensity of them.

The gay lover thing in my dream has puzzled me. I am not homophobic and have lots of friends who are gay (male and female). I am not confused about my sexuality. While I have many homosexual friends, none of them have been involved in any of my recent waking life experience and the closest friends I have are female gay couples. I took the freedom of expression to be what you hinted at - a desire to have freedom of expression of the natural and true self.

I would suspect that the corporate gentleman is indeed a deeper part of myself that is repressed since I long ago rejected corporate culture in favor of other types of work. Struggles with work are not particularly on my mind currently, but because my choice of work did not fulfill my mother's dreams of what I should do in life, that may be an underlying theme.

-Steve

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I have had not a few dreams with gay themes in them. From my own limited experience, it seems to me that the situation expresses a biased masculine identification with itself, yet has intimate qualities that can lead one to a more proper (feminine) relationship with that intimacy:

11-14-09

Driving with a friend, we turn up hill and have to balance and concentrate, we are practically going straight uphill and I think how much like a dream this is. Now at the top w/ a bunch of people driving on an empty desolate highway, I tell us to stop at a solitary building, I know we have done this before and this is what we are supposed to do. Inside gay men are speaking up and kind of rallying in support of gay health insurance or gay rights. A tv camera zooms on a man's mouth, blonde man, effeminate, dressed in white somewhat bawdy, his mouth moves fast and without hesitation as he expresses the sentiment of all those in attendance. I see Debbie (old school friend, pretty) coming towards me smiling. Sheila (spiritual) tells me happily she's pregnant.

In my own particular psychology, beyond which I don't know much, I really believe that there is a masculine bias that is very deeply rooted, and even in the realm of dreams works very agressively to repress the manifestations of feminine oriented instincts. To me the gay theme is a like men's club that has superficial elements of intimacy in order to preserve some sense of emotion without having to deal with all the alleged problems associated with the real feminine source of feeling and intimacy. I have come to associate the image of the baby or infant as something that I try to repress, and all these repressions and shadows seem to be all mixed up with the feminine. That seems to be a reason why Jung said that integrating the shadow is "the work" and integrating the anima is "the masterpiece"

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Sam,
From the dream statement, "In my own particular psychology I really believe that there is a masculine bias that is very deeply rooted, and even in the realm of dreams works very aggressively to repress the manifestations of feminine oriented instincts."

Are you saying you believe in your psychology there is a biased masculine? That could very well be true. But your dreams do not repress such a bias, they attempt to reveal the bias. The difference between Freud and Jung was Freud believed the dream worked as a 'censor' and tried to hide such aspects whereas Jung believed they wanted to reveal the bias, if real. My experience in working with dreams is Jung was right. Dreams are therapeutic, something I sincerely believe to be true. To hide a bias would not fit with the therapeutic philosophy. I can not remember in my experiences with dreams an instant where hiding a particular trait was a part of the dream. It would alter the entire approach to my interpretations and if that were true the responses would not be positive as they have been. Most of the time I get a positive response to my interpretations {as anyone can determine by examining the posted dreams, the interpretations and the responses}. Using Jung's theories, and what I believe to be an evolving and developing intuitive psyche, I have had great results. There are always parts of a dream, especially with a younger person's psyche, that need clarification before they can be understood but the patterns I discern from the dream scenario usually fit with dreamer's life. And as Jung stated, if the interpretation fits it is most often a proper one.

But beyond that. Your dream has this language "Driving with a friend, we turn up hill and have to balance and concentrate, we are practically going straight uphill and I think how much like a dream this is. Now at the top w/ a bunch of people driving on an empty desolate highway, I tell us to stop at a solitary building, I know we have done this before and this is what we are supposed to do."
What is in need of balancing is your psyche and what you are concentrating is on that task, seeking to balance you emotional life, which is your whole life. The friend is a positive part of you, that part that is seeking balance and harmony, resolving the emotional issues to get there. Many hills and mountains, obstacles of one kind or another that you have to overcome. By reaching the top you have reached a plateau of realization of some kind in your life {that is what occurs when you go inward and seek answers from your dreams}. But the highway is still a desolate road to travel {perhaps that is a part of the realization}. That solitary building is some part of you, some aspect in your life. Whether it is something that exists as a negative or if it is pointing to what you need to do in your search for balance and harmony {I know we have done this before and this is what we are supposed to do.}"

As Jung states, the dream means exactly what it says. That is when the interpretation of the symbols, metaphors, motifs, images are proper. I take the statement on its face, it is saying this is what you are supposed to do. In relation to what is the question. And in the world of dreams that would be the positive resolution of emotional issues.

As for the gay men. The term men, plural, would indicate masculine qualities. But it is qualified with the word gay. I see the term as a description, some aspect of your life that has emotional energy, and not a bias. The dream is never biased, it is all about truth.
So we have to look in another direction to discover what 'gay' represents. I qualified my response to Stephen's inclusion of 'gay men and couples', asking if there are unresolved issues related to sexual preference {something i don't often do ***}. The language includes couples and that leaves open other, perhaps better possibilities, to what the gay part means. But there is the word gay and the question has to be asked about sexual aspects, if nothing else to eliminate the possibilities. Assuming the dreamer knows what is true and does speak truthfully, which I believe Stephen is doing and I believe is reinforced by the whole language of the dream, and other posted dreams.
There are many possibilities that can be associated with the word gay. Of course the context which it is used in the dream makes a big difference. I have seen many dreams where there is an inclusion of 'gay' themes and it turns out the dreamer is either gay or has questions about their sexuality. Not always straightforward but symbols that point to the true sexual identity.

It is important to look at age when interpreting any dream. At 33 you are at that boundary of the beginning of mid-life. You are still building a life, trying to put yourself in a place where you feel you fit {whether it be the proper place is usually a great part of the emotional conflicts involved}. So this statement must be looked at within a frame as to take your age as important in the interpretation.
"A tv camera zooms on a man's mouth, blonde man, effeminate, dressed in white somewhat bawdy, his mouth moves fast and without hesitation as he expresses the sentiment of all those in attendance."

What is the sentiment you are wishing to express? The dream is you, the characters are in some way associated to you. Often they are you. What is being expressed in this statement my not be as symbolic as it would if you were older. That is the biggest difference between the dreams of an older person compared to a younger person. A younger person's dreams often express a truth if not in 'generalized' literal terms, in terminology that is 'literally' truthful.

The dream ending is always important. In your dream {Sam} there are two different females. Debbie is pregnant. Not a literal pregnancy, this feminine aspect. Something about the feminine self is bearing 'new fruit', yet to be born but ready for realization.

What we have to guard is our own biases. If the dreamer does not realize the truth, he/she will never know the truth until it presents itself in some negative way. That makes it an emotional conflict. Most of our emotional conflicts begin earlier in life, before mid-life. It is in the mid-life stage we begin to try sort through the 'baggage'. We stop looking forward and begin to look back. One of the biggest questions is 'what is the meaning of my life?' When we take that 'inner journey' we begin to realize that we must 'find' meaning in life. That can not be properly done until we begin to resolve the emotional conflicts that have accumulated throughout life. And that deed, the task of sorting through the psychology of one's own life is called the 'hero's journey'. Learning more of those stages is a first step in realizing what 'meaning' there is in ones life.

***Most often I comment on and don't ask a lot of questions about a particular symbols or motif. I see a lot of interpretations by others who do ask a lot of questions about the dream. To me that is not an interpretation based on what is in the dream but one that is based on the responses of the dreamer. Whereas the dream knows nothing but truth and reveals nothing but truth, the dreamer may not have that true realization and for some reason does not respond truthfully {sometimes due to repressed aspects by the dreamer of emotional conflicts-the ego-conscious influence is so strong it prevents truthful responses}. The dreamer may repress emotional issues but not the dream. Th dreamer may know truth, may not speak the truth but the dream always does.

Don't take this as a criticism of your response. Take it as a critique. You know more about yourself than anyone. It is what you don't know about yourself we what to get to. That is what the dream is trying to reveal. It is the therapeutic aspect of the psyche, the dream being that mechanism to help heal the emotional conflicts. The body has its immune system, the psyche has the dream.

Jerry

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Hi Jerry-

Just curious if you will share more of your thoughts about my dream. Thanks!

-Steve

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 41 Chicago

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Stephen,
I apologize for not commenting more about your dream as I promised. The problem with having to put so much energies into the social being/work is it distracts from those mental energies I wish I could put into my dream work. That is why Joseph Campbell called it slaying dragons {leaving the social dictates and focusing on the 'bliss' in life}. They are psychological dragons.

The inclusion of gay couples in your dream is a puzzle. But most dreams are titillating puzzles. Putting the pieces into the proper places is the task. Perhaps the desire to restart the relationship with your ex is so strong, and many of your friends are gay female couples, there may be a connection between the two. The two parts of a female gay relationship are both feminine. It could be your feminine psyche, something that has been greatly enhanced with the exploration of your deeper psyche, is playing one part of the feminine relationship to the second part which would be your ex. The 'gay' would be a focus on feminine gay relationships, something that is real in your waking life.

But the above possibility may be but 'half' of the puzzle of the inclusion of gays in your dream. Your 'mother issues' and the natural desire to resolve them may be the second aspect the dream is wishing to address with the gay inclusion. In your dream these are 'couples' so there may be a couple of aspects the dream is addressing. The influences of the waking life experiences with the gay couples {feminine} may be a twist I your dream. Dreams can do that. Let me know your thoughts on this possibility.

Also, if you do not mind providing a dream you have been working on with your therapist so I can give my thoughts would be of great interest for me. Comparing my experience with dreams to that of a trained Jungian psychologist.

One last thought on the subject of 'gay' in a dream. Your 'gays' are not addressing a sexual identification. Looking back at other dreams that focus on the subject, the inclusion of similar language is often about the dreamer's sexuality. But looking at those dreams I can see a big difference. Age. There have been several dreams posted with the same subject and they were about sexuality. But these dreams were from young people, in their teens or early twenties. The confusion about sexuality was the focus of the dream. Again I point to age as a factor in how one must approach a dream. A young person is still in that process of building ego whereas someone at mid-life is in that stage of deconstructing and re-accessing ego. An older person may have probelms with sexual identifcation but not to the extent as a younger person.
Dreams of a young person are often harder to understand because they put so much focus on current waking experiences, the actual construction of the ego life in process. An older person is beyond that stage, has already created an ego life with a set personality. That shows up in dreams, reflecting the experiences of the dreamer and the stage of life they are in.
At least these are my experiences.

Jerry

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