Pia,
Perhaps we do need to go back to your adolescent years when examining the second dream. How 'old' or far back is this boyfriend in your dream? This dream may be addressing issues related to those teen years, those issues of abandonment that began when you were 15.

And there is the 'haunted' aspect within the dream. Do the experiences of abandonment involve people who are still' living' {'haunted with old.... living people'}? The one year time frame. Does that have any recognizible significance to an experience in your past?

The last statement in the second dream may be saying something about 'buried' emotions which would more likely be addressing the abandonment issues. The mistake of saying 'yes', does that fit somewhere? Could it be you are blaming yourself for something that occurred in the past. Victims often feel responsible for deeds committed toward them. Being 'left alone' often has the victim feeling it was their fault, or a belief they should have done more to prevent the experience? This is a common emotional issue that dreams address and help the dreamer try to resolve.

My experience of being 'left alone'
My father abandonment my mother and 4 children when I was 6 years old. Not only did that early life experience stunt my personal growth but it greatly influenced, albeit unconsciously, many of my actions as a young to mid-life adulthood.

This is a typical pattern the baby boomer as well as the X generations are more and more having to deal with. Most of us have issues of not getting the proper amount, or the right type, of parental love and acceptance. These emotional issues do not go away. Of course some people have more difficulty than others resolving the issues, and many never do. I dare say most people live with them all their lives, never knowing what the underlying influences are or they even exist, or are afraid or unable to confront the them.
But nature has a mechanism to bring these issues to the subconscious mind.... by presenting them in our dreams. The intent is to help resolve the issues by informing the dreamer of the conflicts and sometimes offering possible solutions to the conflicts.

We are rapidly learning just how important early life experiences influence later life and personality. I again reference my post New Study-Our personalities may be set as early as 1st grade. With more experience in working with dreams I am seeing recognizible patterns that point to early life influences as well as personality traits. It does help us understand why Jung always insisted the dreamer 'get back to the dream' when working with patients. He was able to 'decode' the language in the dream that was the dreamer's life.

Do take your time in examining what I have presented. Look 'back' at those years where abandonment began, if not before then where that led up to the experience. See what fits and then spend time on examining them deeper. The more you learn the more you will know about the true experiences and who was responsible and why. You may be able to resolve the issues through self eaxmintion { as I did using Jung's Individuation Process}

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

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Thanks, Yes, this year I have gone deep into those places and have identified things that happened in my youth. I "ran away" over and over so I did not have to feel those hard feelings. The part when I knew I was still running away and what it was from, was where the healing began. Seeing that in fact I did act out of survivor mode and thinking it was my fault, continued to hold me back.
It is amazing that the dream is still with me. Having choices now and am seeking the truth.
I will continue to look at your response and take more time to understand

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 47 Pacifica, CA

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Pia,
I hope you will continue to look at the possibilities I have provided. If you have other questions, or other dreams you feel important, please post them so we can continue your progress. Self discovery is an act of reflection and when you look 'within' you see so many things the 'outer eyes' were unable to see. Everyone has a past and who we are is primarily found within those past emotional experiences that forms the psyche {all experiences in life are emotional whether they are physical or psychological}. Continue to look at those years where 'running away' were how you lived your life. You will discover so much more than you could ever realize.

You may not know that Pacifica Graduate Institute has important ties to Joseph Campbell. Campbell is my spiritual mentor {by absentia of course since he died in 1987} and was the catalyst for my learning Jungian psyche and my interest in dreams. Myths-Dreams-Symbols would not be if not for my 'chance' encounter with Joseph Campbell some 18 years ago, when I was at the mid point of my mid-life crisis {age 42}. Not only my interest in dreams and the birth and growth of Myths-Dreams-Symbols, but also my own individuation, my path to wholeness.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes