I had a dream I was walking up a hill with a group of friends from my past, and a Russian girl I did not know. The girl had long dark hair, silver underwear and a silver jacket. We were talking and became seperated from the group.

Halfway up the hill we stopped to watch the sun set. As she was not wearing much I used this as an excuse to cuddle her.

She started to say "I want to..." I got caught up in the romance and anticipated a kiss, but she said she wanted to try my cooking before we moved any further. I was a little embarassed but confident because I can cook, so I laughed and asked what she wanted. She responded lamb meatloaf. I said I had not cooked that in particular but would give it a good shot.

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Rook,
Ditto on your dream. I have the flu and it may be a day or so to get my 'mojo' back.

Jerry

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Rook,
Sorry for taking so long to get to your dream. I have had the flu and the off and on symptoms have been a block to my intuitive senses which I greatly rely on when interpreting dreams.

Here are the possibilities to the dream. I will address the personal aspects afterwards.

As for your "Russian' romance. Our dreams often take us to 'foreign' lands, inner journeys that are unknown/unrealized or ignored/repressed. This may be what this dream is addressing, something associated with past experiences. In this scenario the Russian girl would be a 'foreign' feminine aspect that was once a real part of yourself but has since been separated. It has resided within your unconscious, underneath the persona/ego self {underwear}. For some reason it has been 'covered up' {jacket}. But there may be a silver lining to the whole issue, you can now bring it up and utilize the positive aspects.

You need to expose, recognize, this aspect and hold it close. It may be a vital part of who you are.

There is a need/desire to better understand/acknowledge/embrace this aspect but it may require more nurturing {cooking}. That may point to a need to delve deeper into the psyche, nurturing those emotions that have been covered up for a long time {from the past}. The lamb meatloaf may represent a combination of many emotions that are put together associated with this feminine quality. The lamb may represent something new about yourself that is has to be realized {a lamb representing purity/innocence}.

The above, deeper, explanation to the dream would be addressing issues that are a part of your evolution. Foundation To your persona/ego and deeper causation for who you are today {your past}. Something that has been stored away within the unconscious that is now awakening and seeking recognition.

On the personal side the dream may be addressing past issues of 'romance'. There may be or have been expectations about this aspect but you have yet to realize fully the possibilities. There may be a need to better develop these personal qualities to fully appreciate them. The past experiences may be influencing your ability to do this. You may need to nurture this aspect to reach its potential.

This could involve current romantic experiences with past experiences having an impact on the present. The past experiences could be from previous romantic relationships or they could be addressing causation from earlier life, even childhood.

Your response may help provide a clearer understanding of the possibilities.

Jerry

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Hi Jerry

Thank you for your insights, I think you are onto something.

I do have a Finnish heritage that is still fairly strong in my past, even though I have grown up in an Aussie family and don't know the Finnish language in any great detail asides from hello a long with a couple of other words, I interpreted the Russian woman as being an enemy of the past that is sort of redeeming itself.

I have met a few Russian people in my life time and I get a more positive image of these individuals, even though they were at the time 'the enemy'.

Taking this into the dream context I saw it along the lines of redeeming inner unconscious aspects that I previously saw as my enemy (within myself). ie what I was previously 'fighting' but now seek to reconcile.

I like your interpretation of the silver underwear and jacket. Its something that I didn't see before but when you mentioned it I had one of those "Oh God yes" moments.

I saw the reference to the kiss / cooking as a commentary on my view of relationships as compared to the real situation. For me a strong influence in my relationships is that sexual drive and the romance (sunset kiss), which I think is a pretty typical masculine viewpoint.

I think the Russian 'dream girl' portrays an additional feminine view point and a key one in the individuation process - that being whether I can cook - my domestic 'training' if you will. The woman wants a man that is able to look after himself, and her if necessary. She isn't look for a man that she has to 'mother' generally speaking, (I have known some women who do) but rather a responsible man that has moved passed that threshold of that 'Mother' dependency and is able to be responsible for himself.

This is relevant in my current day to day life (and partly the reason I haven't been on here more often). I am working of a day time (I managed to get another promotion at work and that has reached a whole new level of complexity and challenge) and in the evenings I perform domestic duties, be it cooking, cleaning, hanging out washing, bathing the children, or if I am lucky playing with the children.

Earlier I felt pressure from those outside of my family in my sporting teams and what not to become a bit of an Erec (of Erec and Enid sp?) and at first it was tempting, but I turned that possibility down and am coming to terms with the full domestic life that is this stage of my life that I am at. Letting go of my past and moving into the future.

I have come to terms with the transformation of my own life from that stage of youth and adventure to adulthood and a whole different kind of adventure. It feels a little like the sword bridge in that respect, that I have cast off what 'society' is telling me to do (be a sporting hero) and follow my own heart that is to be a family hero. The hard task is incorporating the physical routine that is important to me into this busy lifestyle.

Anyhow I am going off topic. Like you say I need to delve more into these aspects, but I am trying to gather just what that is, and I haven't figured it out yet.

THanks,
Rook

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Rook,
I'll provide a detailed response this weekend to your follow-up post. I do appreciate the details and your thoughts. They help us better understand how the dream functions. There have been many realizations from such detailed follow-up posts that have confirmed many of Jung's theories about the dream. And have provided how different aspects of the psyche filter through in our dreams {such as personality traits, repressed/forgotten childhood experiences that affect later life}.

Jerry

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Rook,

You are on the right track, understanding that these aspects are a part of you. And the Ah! Ha! moment may be what takes you to the understanding of those qualities that have been 'covered up', not recognized or realized about this particular aspect within. The sexual attitudes you mention, the girl with long dark hair {symbolic of unconscious thinking that may affect conscious attitudes} being the feminine aspect, the underwear representing the sexual aspects, and the jacket being those aspects about yourself that were covered up, not recognized/realized.

As you may know from reading my comments about early life experiences, I believe such attitudes are addressed in our dreams. Why is it we are who we are in later life? The biggest influence is early life experiences/influences. In my mind, along with the idea that dreams are therapeutic, the dream wishes to inform the dreamer what those unconscious attitudes are, with the intent to help remedy what is 'out of balance'. This could be what your dream is doing, trying to help you better understand the 'sexual drive' you possess and the underlying reasons for that.

The sunset. And the excuse. The sunset could represent an end to an attitude, as well as evaluation and renewal. But there is the excuse that has prevented this important rejuvenation to occur. My thinking is there are unconscious stimuli from your past, from those formative years which have had such a strong influence on your conscious life as an adult {addressing the sexual attitudes you possess as an adult} that are continued in use as an excuse to stimulate the sexual drive and need for romance {these are similar attitudes I possessed as a young man, attitudes unknown to my conscious mind that had an unconscious influence over my actions}. The 'need to cuddle' would be the primary underlying influence, something that was implanted within your psyche long ago from experiences that were lacking in 'cuddling' in your earliest years of life. Does that fit?

Dream
She started to say "I want to..." I got caught up in the romance and anticipated a kiss, but she said she wanted to try my cooking before we moved any further. I was a little embarrassed but confident because I can cook, so I laughed and asked what she wanted. She responded lamb meatloaf. I said I had not cooked that in particular but would give it a good shot.

Your feminine attitude, the need for sex and romance, says 'I want to'. The problem may be that you do 'get caught up in the romance' {a feminine aspect, women tend to possess more romantic attitudes than men}. Why is this?
From Hyperdictionary: Cooking-Dreaming that you are cooking means your desire desire to influence others in such a way that they will like you or become dependent on you. Alternatively, it represents your nurturing side or wanting to be nurtured. You want to be loved.

This is your feminine side that requires love and nurturing {the balance between masculine and feminine, with a lack of needed feminine/need to be love/nurtured being the issue the dream is addressing}.

Seeing a lamb in your dream indicates that you will have many companions.
Many companions would be the sexual drive that requires much nourishment because of the lack of the nurturing from earlier life.
The meatloaf could easily have sexual connotations. What you can cook, or what is influencing your conscious attitudes, is those sexual attitudes you possess. You are confident with these attitudes {as was I, able to entice the opposite sex with confidence} even though unconsciously you are embarrassed {a regulating mechanism of the psyche}. What is wanted is that 'needed love and nurturing'. Providing what is lacking from earlier life.

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A comment about unconscious influences. Some believe such thinking, that unconscious stimuli from earlier life and how it influences adult life, is an excuse and nothing else. I beg to differ. I am not saying that particular early life experience makes you do something in later life, but that it tends to lead you to particular attitudes. As in my life experiences. those early life influences were there and as my life unfolded the opportunities to 'act them out' were also available. And I did act them out, unaware of the unconscious influences that led me to do so. It is not a stretch to understand these unconscious influences, except for those who refuse to admit they do exist. Often such thinking have its own underlying influences, usually developed from early life experiences.

Jerry

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Hi Jerry

You are bang on the money with this interpretation.

Firstly, there was an inherent lack of 'cuddling' - I assume not as a baby but once I grew up a little - my mother who is very loving, has said that one of the biggest difficulties in her life was that her family are all boys and not very into hugging. I am very physical in that sense with my fiance and children, but it is strange and sort of uncomfortable in my parents / brother environment (though not so with my children - grandparents, though that may change as my boys too get older). So this could be where this need stems from.

Second, I believe I had another dream which was referencing the 'sunset' of that dating / flirting environment. In this dream, I was James Bond, but in the duration of the dream I was transformed into an old man, who was retiring. At that point the dream went from first person (James Bond pov) to third person me escorting the now retired James Bond to his wife's home. There was a very touching scene when he arrived at the house to find that his wife had left the porch light on. He was so touched that she thought of him so even after he had neglected her for so many years that he weeped. (I then went to a wild west style bar and had to ride the mechanical bull. I am wondering if this is a similar symbol to the trial of the perilous bed.)

The third aspect is that need to be loved. I had an "Oh yes" moment when trying to figure out a hero-complex I have. See, I love to play the hero, but I could never figure out what it was I was trying to achieve, because I don't like the spotlight or attention, I like praise but not directly. I find it embarassing. It was when I was watching the BBC version of Robin Hood and Robin's sidekick is explaining why he does what he does, and that is simply "He just wants to be loved." This is the same for me, it explains to me why I was so fond of hockey, and the role I had found there. It satisfied that function of my psyche.

Armed with that knowledge it is easier to let go of hockey and settle into my home life, knowing that I fill that role for my fiance and children as well as through work. All I really need to achieve is finding the time for that physical ritual to satisfy my desire for a healthy body. This is difficult at present, but I foresee life smoothing out over the next year or so as life becomes less and less of a struggle.

Thanks for the interpretation Jerry, I think you're bang on.

Cheers,
Rook

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Rook,
Thanks once again for your willingness to discuss these personal issues. Not only is it good self therapy but by providing insights to those issues you are having to confront you are sharing insights to how the dream functions, and addressing a basic pattern that is so common in the human condition; an inherent need to be loved.

Ah! That emotion of a need to be loved. It is very often an emotional issue that we all have to confront, and is a pattern that usually begins in childhood. Even in positive childhood development there seems to be a greater need for more than what is given by parents. And although this one emotional issue may not 'make' a person be one way or another, it does greatly influence later life attitudes and actions. That is only logical, the environment we grow up providing the influential experiences that make up who we become, the young impressionable psyche of a child being greatly influenced by experience.

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The 'retiring' old man may be the wisdom self coming to terms with those childhood issues that have influenced your actions as an adult, as well as the 'sunset' of a need for the 'flirting/dating' environment. From my own experiences it was around the age of 30 that I began to move away from the need of acceptance from the opposite sex {the 'looking for love' in all the wrong places}.

James Bond is the hero and the dream is where the hero looks to perform heroic deeds of self healing. There may be a hero complex being addressed but the inner hero is also the focus. The third person is the dream and the subjective is the dreamer. Seeing oneself in terms of the third person is seeing oneself as they really are, the true self. The retired James Bond is not only moving away from the old flirting/dating self, it is the wisdom you have gained by the self examination you are engaged.

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It may be value to understand there are stages we go through in life. My oldest grandson is at a stage I recognize so prominently in my life and my son's life. I was once a sports nut but out grew that stage, largely due to my newly found interest, my bliss, in dreams and the deeper psyche. Your 'letting go' of hockey seems to fit with this stage. And your age coincides with the age I began to lose interest in sports. There does seems to be that 'natural' evolution that plays a role on maturity but not everyone reaches that point. Or is able to 'cross over' the barriers. And the biggest reason beyond the unconscious influence is a lack of discipline. If there is one aspect of the hero that is most important it is the discipline needed to stay the path. With the emotional baggage we accumulate throughout life, and the inherent childhood influences that unconsciously influence/control attitudes and actions, it is no wonder so few reach that place of 'Nirvana', of peace, harmony and bliss is life. That is the ultimate goal, the Holy Grail in life. Blissful harmony in this life.

Finding the time to satisfy the physical need for a healthy body. Physical fitness has been a 'part of my routine' for the past 30 years. It has been the one constant that delivered me from many days of negatives. If there is one thing I know about, one thing I promote as much as I do Jung's Individuation Process, it is physical fitness. It has to be part of the routine, integrated into the life. It does require a lifestyle change for most. But the benefits are major. The good health benefits are real. The better quality of life is real. The psychological aspects of a healthy body is also real. So many positives and so few negatives.

And there are other benefits that can 'titillate', such as being told you look 42 when the real age is 60. That happened to me today when getting my hair cut by two young female stylists, and it happens a lot. There is no down side to being healthy. And as long as there is a mature ego there is no harm in the benefits, even when the ego is 'titillated'.

My advice to everyone is to find the time to satisfy the need for a healthy body. I was 29 when I began my interest in physical fitness, lost 40 lbs in a year and learned to discipline myself. They went hand in hand. Anyone can do the same, and if they do there is no reason to believe they too will look 42 when they get to be 60. I don't consider myself exceptional, merely the exception. I try to pattern myself as an example. Not as a 'me' thing but something to share that is positive. Positive for me and those around me. Promoting a positive environment that I desire to live in. A giant step in that quest for Nirvana.

Nirvana is the condition that comes when you’re not compelled by desire or by fear or by social commitments....Joseph Campbell

Jerry

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