Hi Jerry,

I want to mention that the way I experience Mary and Chuck in the dream is not in a way that sees/feels separate from them. What I understand of this is hard for me to put into words.
For me, it is much lesser like watching a movie and much more like "experiencing"/feeling these changes taking place in the dream. Mary and Chuck do not even look or feel like the actual Mary and Chuck of my early life. How can I make better sense of that to you and other readers? I am not seeing them with the eyes (or emotional body) of the child I was. Nor do I feel an emotional attachment to them. They and their responses to me are very objective. It is more like they are a real part of me/my psyche. I have a degree of awareness in the dream that they are part of me, responding/bringing what is needed for resolution. The word, "resolution," leads to a question I left unanswered in my earlier response. Why is the age of the little boy indicated at the end of the dream verses the beginning of the dream? My opinion in this case is because he is part of the answer/resolution and not the conflict. This boy does not have any issues. Even the language of my dream tells it, he is "new." Born from a different mother, from me. Hence, I wash myself of the face of the old mother.

And thank you, Jerry, for what you said regarding my inner work. I've much (and many others) to be grateful for, including this here site of yours, which was real food for me early in my journey.

Kristi

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Another something my analyst helped to amplify for me was the image of the rucksack on the front of my "new" vehicle.

I have talked here before, Jerry, of the need to incorporate my military skills in a positive way. This is needed, and beginning to happen for me.

While I don't miss carrying those buggers :) - my Army rucksack is something that contained all needed personal equipment and survival gear: tools, food, clothing, first aid kit, shelter material, rope, etc. So, having it on the front of my vehilce is sort of emblematic, saying I have what I need, it's all here with/within me. It's also a sort of statement to others that I'm not looking for what I need "in you" of "from you," as in taking from another. A sort of token of honesty, statement of how I am to (and will) approach my interaction in life.

It really "fits" with where I am at.

Kristi

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Kristi,
I had forgotten your military service. We can not overlook those experiences in your earlier life and how they play into the scheme of things. How you think that applies to masculine development? Was it a tool to project your shadow, becoming that masculine self through military service?

Jerry

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Yes, Jerry, it was, in many ways, both the negative AND THE POSITIVE, as is the case for all of us in life, projecting both our negative and positive aspects through whatever avenues are before us...

Kristi

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