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Dating Dr. Phil

Very vivid dream, and the wall I describe in the second paragraph is prominent and so beautiful - it very much stands out in my mind when I wake up. ~

Dr. Phil is an interior designer, as a profession. A couple come to him for help and he winds up giving advice for exterior design - which is my field, and I think, hey, I should be doing this, not you.

Dr. Phil and I are then in a beautiful gallery looking for a bed with this couple. I have my hand on his bent arm as we are walking, and I feel so warmly and in love with him, in a quiet and content and peaceful way. We pass a wall in the gallery that is 3D - not the kind you need special glasses for, but as in, it has dimension - ornate and beautiful and sparkles. It is exquisite in the dream! The couple picks a bed that is surprising to me - a traditional, white wood bed. The gallery does not feel traditional. I also wonder why Dr. Phil is dating me, when I know he is married, and he does not seem like "that kind of man". His wife, I find out, treats him just horribly.

I am then designing a pool area for a couple. They say their kids have water fights and throw cups of water at others. I see some soaked adults and water flying by. I am confidently doing my work of designing a pool area for them. I wonder if they'd like a small refrigerator for the pool area.

I am then in a house, scrapping off paint from a wall. There are six layers I say, as I can count the various paint colors that are layered underneath. My former sweethearts brother is now with me, he has been given a green, cordless screwdriver. I don't have my glasses on and think it says "Light and Lacy" on it, but I come to understand it actually says "Light and Easy", as if that is the brand. He and I are pushing against each other in a playful but intense way, and I am laughing. I am then hugging my sweetheart tightly, as I am identifying trees (and see them) as we are rushing somewhere.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 47

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Dating Dr. Phil

Bear with me in my interpretation. It is a holiday and I have nothing restricting my time, thus I have plenty of time to provide an indepth evaluation of your dream. This is what I look forward to when I take early retirement and am able to devote full-time to working with dreams.

It is not a far fetch to think of Dr. Phil as an 'interior designer' since his profession is to redesign the 'interior' psychology of his patients. His method of treatment is to unite the 'opposites' {couple} which are the cause of 'internal' emotional conflicts within the person he is treating. Positive results would create a change in the 'exterior' persona of the person. Your unconscious psyche may be saying 'this is a self service job' that can only be performed by the patient. This would be a reflection of an actual conscious journey you have undertaken, or should undertake, a self psychology {which is what Jung's Individuation Process is and a path I personally have engaged and believe in}. In other words you are your own 'Dr. Phil'. It shouldn't be lost that Dr. Phil is a male and thus some aspect of the dream would be addressing masculine in your life.
There could also be actual 'exterior', waking life males involved in this examination. And the couple could be speaking to an actual waking life couple, which one of the two would be you {the first rule of thumb is that your dreams are about you and your EMOTIONAL life}. The rest of the dream should reveal how all this unfolds.

The first paragraph of a dream usually sets the stage for what the dream is trying to communicate to the dreamer. This is not only Jung's contention {as a rule of thumb} but also my experience in working with dreams.

The gallery looking for a bed may be a reference to your intimate self, or at least the romantic aspects in your life. This would be a 'beautiful' aspect. The 'walking with him' with the contentment and peaceful environment may reflect your attitude toward this 'intimate/romantic' side of you. The 3D gallery would be a dream {dreams are the 3 dimensional reflection of the dreamer's life, waking consciousness, personal unconscious and the collective unconscious}. This intimate/romantic aspect may be what you are 'dreaming' of, to be in your life.

A breakdown of the possible representations of the 3 dimensions

The collective unconscious would be Dr. Phil, he being a 'collective' experience of millions of viewers of his TV program

The personal unconscious would be the 'interior design' of your soul, that thing in life {at the time of your dream} that would bring about wholeness

The waking consciousness would be the implementation of these desires.

Summary thus far
There is an inner examination of your life where there is a need/desire to unite opposites, or in 'psyche speak', emotions that are in conflict. You are your own Dr. Phil attempting to resolve inner conflicts that affect your ego life. Resolution to this inner conflict would provide positive results in your 'exterior' waking life.

This inner conflict is about opposites, masculine and feminine. This could be both outer aspects of a real man and woman as well as inner conflicts of masculine qualities vs feminine desires. As usual, I promote Jung's contention there are always at least two aspects to every dream and in your dream this would be the two applications.

The conflict seems to have to do with the 'intimate' self, or romantic aspects. Something that would fulfill the 3 dimensions of the psyche, making the life whole, balanced and harmonious. Reconciliation of these 'intimate' aspects would be a 'beautiful' thing that would bring about contentment and peace to the waking life.
End of summary thus far

Since there is not a need for glasses this 'beautiful' aspect would likely be a conscious recognition. You are consciously aware of this dimension of the outer life. But it is more 'exquisite' when you 'consciously dream' about the possibilities. The original desire is of a traditional romantic involvement but the psyche may fantasize of something less traditional. This would reflect the strong emotional desires for this aspect to be true in your waking life. Dating a married man could be a possible 'thought' to the fantasies or could be a real possibility in your waking life. Another possibility is you are already married and any thoughts of such involvement with a married man would make you the 'wife treating your husband horribly'.
Are you married? If so is your romantic life unfulfilled? Such thinking of extra marital encounters may call for a need for psychological counseling. Instead you are trying to work through this conflict on your own.

The next paragraph may suggest indeed you are married or at least have been married. You are 'designing' {again going back to unconscious interior aspects that reflect exterior desires/needs} an 'area' for your children in this new world you envision. The refrigerator may symbolize either a place that stores you motherly 'nourishment' for them or perhaps there welfare could put a 'hold' on the desires you seek in your romantic life.

Scraping the paint from the wall may representing 'removing' those unconscious barriers {wall} that keep you from attaining your soul's deepest desires. There are many layers suggesting many factors to consider {children being one of the factors}.

In your past was there a 'close' relationship with the brother of a sweetheart. The sweetheart may have been a husband. The screwdriver may be symbolic of 'holding a relationship together'. Any relationship of one to the other? Cordless may suggest you were 'defenseless' in your emotions in a relationship {an inability to control your emotions in a particular situation}.


You may not have been 'seeing' the light in some aspect of a past relationship, a clear understanding of the situation. Is there a Lacy in your past? If so would you 'brand' her as easy? The brother and the 'intense' relationship {I am assuming the language, playful but intense, is directed at the brother}. Embracing the sweetheart, could that be a reference to a real sweetheart, other than a marriage?

You may be in a place in life where you are ready to 'branch' out again {identifying trees} and suddenly are in a rush to do so. There are past experiences that must be 'pealed away', unconscious barriers that are in the way of obtaining those wishful desires/needs of romantic wholeness. As it turns out Dr. Phil would be the 'professional' you need to work through these psychological conflicts. You are working through them yourself {the inner Dr. Phil as well as a masculine quality doing its work internally}. The parts about the brother and sweetheart, Lacy and kids, traditions and marriage, are things you will need to figure out and put into proper perspective {a good interpreter of dreams at best can see along the periphery of a dream with the integral aspects only known by the dreamer}. Put the pieces of the 'puzzle' together and see what comes out in the final picture. What ever comes together is a reflection of your deepest self. An internal conflict that needs resolution.

One last thought that just came to mind about Dr. Phil. Often when 'celebrities' are in a dream there are aspects about that person that reflect in some manner with the dreamer. Other than the 'inner Dr' Phil' I have mentioned, are there aspects about them that reflect on some other male in your life? Personality traits or even perhaps appearances he shares with someone you know or knew?

I look forward to your response.


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 61 Murfreesboro, Tn. USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Dating Dr. Phil

Good Morning, Jerry, and thank you for your attention to my dream.

A few things ... I can assuredly say that feminine/masculine energies are something that I have intently wrestled with these days. Finding a balance of those energies within myself, and, how those energies effect the physical in my life(what they manifest, or the outcome) are what I am currently comtemplating and wanting to change.

Being a single parent for quite a few years had brought the masculine to the surface more so, out of sheer necessity. Now that the grip of "surviving" has let up - my son has grown physically/emotionally, I have grown spiritually/emotionally - there is more stability. The masculine energies I now feel repelling, and it is that which is affecting my physical environment, my choices, as well as my relationship. While relying on my more masculine energies, I attracted a somewhat feminine man, and that I do not care for anymore. At 47 and at the onset of menopause, calling this part of Life "the change" is apptly put, in many beneficial ways. Eastern culture considers menopause your "second spring" and that is what this time feels to me. Many things are changing.

Also, I realized as I went through my dream journal just last night, that "walls" and painting walls has been a theme. Walls are widley interpreted as a barrier, but I considered the wall in this dream to be protective. While I understand every symbol may have personal meaning, the opposition puzzled me, until it dawned on me that what was a barrier in my life (and in my dream), I viewed as protection - that realization really changed my perspective of what may be hindering me and my growth.

To answer your questions, I am divorced, and being with someone who's married is not what I choose for myself. There does seem to be that 3rd party element though - the former spouse/girlfriend where he has unfinished business, an interfering Mother, younger children to attend to, even a job that takes much energy. These are not MY personal issues, per se, but I am attracting them through the partners I pick. Lacy I had not seen as a person but as the feminine, "lacy" - interesting it's on a screwdriver. Dr. Phil is someone who's integrity and honest straight-shooting is something I admire, in himself and others. The dream brother is someone I do not have a close relationship with at all. My own brothers I am not close to, though I love them dearly.

The feminine and masculine energies are something that I have struggled with within myself for quite a while. My views and perspective of them are due for an update. In many ways, my life is in a transition phase - changing careers, changing thoughts, changing my mind about my choise of men, even changing my physical space (redecorating my house). In the beginning of Summer when I lost my job, my guidance was clear - it's time to Be, and not Do (consider those feminine/masculine energies), and to trust God. My faith is paramount, and what I lean on, so I know my current state of growth is all for the better, of course.

Thanks again for your thoughts ~

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 47

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} F

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Dating Dr. Phil

The spiritual aspect would partially explain Dr. Phil in your dream. He is someone who deals prominently with spiritual matters {having gotten his start with Oprah Winfrey**}. The psychological inner search would be one part of the association with him. The spiritual search is also often something that happens the mid-life and is a vital aspect of Jung's Individuation Process. In the dream you are walking with your hand on his arm, a possible association to his spiritual values with your own. Your in God would explain the spiritual connection, as well as your admiration of Dr. Phil {associations tied to admiration of celebrities are usual fare in dreams}. It should be noted also your understanding of Eastern philosophies {Eastern culture considers menopause your "second spring"} and that would fit with Dr. Phil since he has a broad view of the different spiritual concepts. I hope you continue to consider other spiritual philosophies since awareness of other concepts can provide answers to spiritual and human matters, as it seems to have done with the 'second spring' offering as wisdom that fits with your beliefs.

Your 'change of life' {menopause} could be a great part of the 'inner/external/ conflicts I sensed within the dream. Your response at first surprised me but looking at this aspect in your life I can see where that part would 'naturally' cause a lot of emotions. This is not something I often encounter, the change of life issues, so I thank you for being honest and open in that discussion. I will have to keep it in mind in future interpretations where there is not a direct link to such conflicts I offer.

As for the walls. Normally they are symbolic of barriers but if you notice I did refrain from using those terms until late into the interpretation. Like you I didn't 'sense' such a symbolic application. The wall was within the gallery, ornate and beautiful. Barriers were not something that came across with this particular wall, at least not as an original barrier.

As for the brother. I took it as it was given, brother to your sweet heart and not one of your brothers. The key would be the sweet heart. That symbol's interpretation would shine light on the brother association. It may have to do with masculine energies and the inner conflicts with that. Further examination may provide insights to those personal qualities.

I do suggest that you consider the menopause changes as ONE of the 'opposites' you are experiencing and in your dream. This natural change of life could explain a lot of the emotions you are experiencing. We must remember Dr. Phil is a psychologist and beyond the spiritual connection is your own psychology. All dreams are about the emotions which of course would involve the psychology of the dreamer.

Add the recent change of careers {I take it due to the loss of your job in the summer} and the stress level could easily rise to a 'boiling' point. This could be another 'opposite' you are experience in your current waking life.

And one last possibility is your faith in God. Faith can easily be misplaced {not saying this is the case in your life}. God provides the tools needed to achieve the goals in life. I think of the stranded flood victim on the roof of his house and whose faith in God made him believe God would 'literally' and physically rescue him. When rescuers in a boat offered to save him he refused stating that God would save him. He rejected a second opportunity to be saved thinking God would literally rescue him. When he began to question God's help God asked why he had refused to go with those that God had sent came to rescue him.
The message is God provides the tools but it is the person must do the leg work. This fits with my belief that it is the actions that are as important than faith alone.

If I am correct you have experience with dream interpretation but use different methods. That may explain part of the differences in your response to my interpretation. But whatever the method it is the result in the dreamer's life that is important. Hopefully you will discover what it is that is the prime conflicts and resolve all those issues. There does seem to be several. Personal growth is a life long journey and it is primarily psychological. Your faith can serve you well but remember there are those 'natural' aspects in life that could be at the root of some of your conflicts. With time those will pass. In the meantime remain focused on the important things in life, your son undoubtedly being the most important. twat twam asi

**Oprah was a local news anchor in Nashville, my place of birth, before she became the 'sage' she is today.


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 61 Murfreesboro, Tn. USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

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