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fish dream

Hi there
I recently had a dream that I found rather interesting and I thought of sharing it with you. I had the dream just after I split up (or started splitting up, to be precise) with my boyfriend.
I was at an open-air restaurant in an island, where all the tables were occupied by my friends, who were all very happy and having fun. The atmosphere was really pleasant and the tables were very long. I arrived there with my boyfriend and sat at the table. He ordered food for everyone and after a while the waiter brought a plastic bag full of ugly looking fish, which he just threw on the table for all the people to eat. And then came to me and very politely left a small white plate with a small pink fish fillet in front of me. I realised that my boyfriend had ordered the most expensive fish for me and I was very content. Then my boyfriend took a fork and fed me, but the moment I started chewing the fish I realised that it was full of bones. However, I tried to swallow it and I started choking. He just sat opposite me as before and didn't do anything to help me. He looked completely indifferent, as if he was completely empty.
The most weird thing about this dream is that when I woke up I was feeling content and not disturbed. As a matter of fact, although until then I didn't want to speak to my boyfriend again, after this dream I felt compassion for him and was also quite nostalgic about our past, although his behaviour during the previous couple of days was totally unacceptable for me.
I have been reading a lot of Jung and I know that the fish represents something buried deep in the unconscious, but it would be really helpful if you had any suggestions as to what the dream might be trying to tell me.
Thank you very much

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Re: fish dream

Kassandra,
Fish do often symbolize deep unconscious aspects but it can also represent the 'true self', your true emotions. An open air market could suggest you are consciously opening up to these unconscious truths about the relationship with your bf. Feeling happy and having fun in the dream, along with your waking feelings of contentment, may be saying something about 'intuitive' judgments you are making in ending the relationship {usually the opening statement in a dream sets the stage for what the dream is trying to communicate}. This dream may be as much about good judgement in your decision than anything else.

Breaking down the dream further, the feeding of the fish by your bf only to realize it had bones may suggest you either consciously and/or unconsciously there are 'bones' in what he has been feeding you relationship wise. It is hard to swallow what he has been feeding you. His indifference in the relationship has not been of help either.

Again, I sense the dream is addressing intuitive if not conscious judgments about the relationship. The dream opening suggests a good feeling about yourself as does the contentment feelings after waking. You may be making a good judgment although your bf may be very convincing about the 'nostalgic' past.

Jerry



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Re: fish dream

Jerry, thank you very much! This is really helpful. It was very confusing for me to have this nostalgic feeling all of sudden, although until then the only thing I felt was anger. But your interpretation really makes sense. I really appreciate your comment.
After reading your message, I remembered another dream I had, which I suddenly find similar in a way. A few months before we split up (funnily enough it was the first time I thought of splitting up), I dreamt that my bf had an "evil" twin. I saw this dark twin of his cooking something in a cauldron. I asked him what he was cooking and opened the lid, only to see a kind of soup. Inside the soup my limbs were floating and at that point he said "Oh, but we are eating you for lunch, didn't you know?". This time the feeling I had when I woke up was horrible though.
Don't you think that there is some strange relation between the two dreams? Especially because of the element of him trying to feed me.

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Re: fish dream

Kassandra,
Yes I do see a relationship. It was probably at the time of this dream you unconsciously began to see him 'cooking' up things. Most likely these were intuitive instincts {I am a strong believer in the intuitive mind, see things intuitively, often long before one sees/realizes them consciously}. You intuitively realize, unconsciously through the dream, your bf had 'two sides' to his personality. The old saying 'he was eating your lunch', or he was getting over on you, may have been what the dream was pointing to. Unconsciously you probably sensed something wasn't right, the other side of him was yet to register. As good as he would be to you, the other side of him wasn't so nice.

Jerry


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Re: fish dream

Thanks again Jerry. Your comments were very valuable. I had some doubts about whether the dreams were merely insightful in this sense. The other thought that has been crossing my mind is that what the dreams are implying is that the issue is always about me not being able to "digest" my true self (my dissected body in the first dream, the fish in the second one) and therefore not being able to be in a relationship with that man. But I suppose that the most straightforward way of seeing this is your perspective, which was also my initial one.
Thank you very much for your help!

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Re: fish dream

Kassandra,
There are other possible applications to do with the masculine, your animus that may apply. I will take a better look at those possibilities later today. I was going to mention them in my other posts but didn't want to add any confusion to what I think the dream is 'primarily focused, the relationship with your bf and possibly intuitive senses on your part.

As for the 'intuitive' aspect, one of which seems to flow from the dream you had a few months prior, it may apply to more than just a simple inclusion in the dream. Unconsciously we will see things that, because of our ego-centric consciousness, consciously we don't see or realize.

We all have 'intuitive' abilities but we do not utilize them as we could/should. It is a part of nature's human evolution {early man/cavemen uses these 'extra' senses to survive }. The dream may be revealing something about these intuitive senses {an inherent feminine quality physiologically as well as psychologically}. I will also speak more on those possibilities when I look at your dream a second time.

Jerry



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Re: fish dream

Jerry, I cannot thank you enough for your time and interesting insights. I was also wondering whether it is my bf's shadow (the twin in the first dream and the indifferent looking version of his in the second) or my animus. If it is the animus though, I cannot really understand what part of my self the animus is trying to make me "swallow" and I can't. Anyway, looking forward to your second opinion.

Age/Gender & Location {Age & Gender Absolutely Required}: 29 U.K.

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Re: fish dream

Kassandra,
Forgive me for not getting to your dream yesterday as promised. Obligations of the 'social' kind required my attention.

Looking at the dream a second time I don't see an application where the animus would play a important role. Perhaps a 'benign' secondary role fulfilling Jung's assertion all dreams have at least two applications. Because it is your bf and not an unidentifiable male my sense is he/bf is representing himself in the primary role in the dream. The focus is on the relationship, on your emotions having to do with the relationship { your dreams are about your emotions and your bf would be in relationship to that}.

Your age does enter into the equation. At 29 you are still in that stage of life where you are 'constructing' your life and not 're-constructing' as happens in later stages of life. In this stage current waking experiences tend to be more prominent focus of dreams and close personal relationships would tend to be 'them-self' and not an animus representation {the animus representation not a primary focus of the dream}. So at best your bf as an animus figure would fit a minor application to the dream's intent. As to what that would be I would give this brief summary:

Your bf would represent your masculine qualities in need of fulfilling an important role in your life {ordered the most expensive fish for me and I was very content}. You need/expect this aspect to fill this needed role but there is a lack of real structure in your life for this {bf feeding you the fish only to realize that it was full of bones which made it hard to swallow}. In times of real need there is a lack of masculine identity.

This animus application would point to unmet masculine qualities, probably having to do with early life experiences/influences. It could be your father was not available or unable to fill this important structuring. It could also point to expectations of males in later life, pushing to choose men based on unconscious stimuli. This could or could not be a positive aspect depending on your overall personality.

As for the 'intuitive' aspects of the dream. Dreams are a form of intuitive thought, providing unconscious insights to the waking life that may not be realized by the conscious mind. The second dream where you saw your bf with an evil twin {which as an animus aspect would be a negative, or injecting a negative response in situations where you need such masculine qualities} would be an 'intuitive' insight of what was to be realized later on {funnily enough it was the first time I thought of splitting up}. The dream may have been reflecting conscious intuitive senses and the dream, as a mechanism as a healing tool, was trying to help sort out the emotional conflicts. He/bf was 'cooking' up situations that would later on present actual experiences that would lead to a breakup. As an animus aspect this is, or has been done to your own masculine qualities, doing to yourself as your bf is also doing to you. It can be hard to point to exact applications of the animus and being so was one reason I did not bring it up in my original interpretation. Plus, as an animus application, it being a less important aspect of the dream.

Or is it? Looking back at your relationship with your father may provide clues to just how important this seemingly secondary role of the animus is. If it has become a negative then it may be more important than we may think. But if it gets you to look at men in an objective light it may have turned into a positive. You may have 'intuitively' realized your bf had this 'dark side', a positive result of early life experiences dealing with other men who possessed the same or similar qualities. This application of course is dependent on the father/daughter relationship.

Something to think about. Dreams do tend to point to the deeper issues as well as the current waking life emotional conflicts. Getting to the deeper aspects often requires a deeper examination of the psyche, and the dream. This where Freud's couch would be of good use. Not only to sleep on and dream but also as a tool for such an examination.

Strange. Having said the above about Freud's couch makes me think of unconscious applications to the couch as a tool for dreams as much as analyzing the dreamer. I wonder if Freud ever thought of such applications?

Jerry

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Re: fish dream

Thank you Jerry, the relationship between my father an my tendency to subconsciously choose similarly unsuitable partners was spot on...
I will think about all your comments very carefully, thank you very much for your help.

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