Angie,
I will tackle your dream either later today or in the morning. I do have a question. When you say 'you had owl with you' for eight months, is that a literal owl or a symbolic reference? May have little to do with anything but knowing the difference would be worth while.

Owls, eagles, hawks, such great birds are often spiritual in 'nature' {they are able to take flight, a trait we humans often 'dream' about/long for}. My first experience with the Unitarian Universalist church was my first visit which was impressive. The service included a wounded owl, hawk and eagle the Tennessee Department of Conservation brought to the church for display {this is the difference in UU churches compared to traditional churches. The focus on the realities in life, the natural world}. To be so close to these wonderful creatures was a moving experience. I knew from that first visit the UU church was who I was.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 61 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

The owl is a symbol. It appears in my dreams and my meditations frequently, although I also see live ones at the most interesting times :)

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Minnesota

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Angie,
The first part of most dreams, the expose, do tend to set out what the dream is focusing. Deciphering the dream language code is the task to be performed of course. Let's see what we come up with beginning with the 'expose'.
When I break down the symbols in this dream I see this possibility.

Your grandparents farm is probably addressing true waking life experiences with the farm also representing personal growth aspects. The grandparents may also represent wisdom aspects, a need/desire for a balance between masculine and feminine {a union of opposites}. In this scenario the dream would be addressing issues of balance, something you wish to achieve, as well as being reflective of actions in your current waking life associated with those achievements {we have established a delinquent creative aspect within your psyche due to issues formed during childhood}. Because the dream is reflective of your true self, at the time of the dream, this would fit with actual real life experiences as you have expressed, and in restoring those creative aspects.
I sense there is a good possibility the dream is addressing these issues with the symbols reflective of more than one aspect of yourself {grandparents as wisdom aspects as well as waking life experiences/influences from childhood}.

The barn could represent those instinctual senses, creativity. Be dilapidated would infer not currently usable. Old may suggest the past, as in childhood. Gray is a symbol for decline.
See the pattern?
The doors being left open may suggest a recovery, by examination, and from that examination discovery of the sources that have caused the barn to be dilapidated/unusable.
being with your children may have two applications also. The first, the children being from your childhood, the second associations related to your own children {this being a lesser application}. The focus would be on your childhood. You are in your grandparents barn, the past, your childhood.

Then there is the owl. Wisdom aspects, sensory functions, metaphysical. Perched so to see, insights to the wisdom self. Looking within yourself is where you find the great beauty of self, of life, of nature. Your grandfather appearing in the barn suggest to me actual experiences but could also be wisdom aspects of the greater masculine self {something to be understood if applicable}.

The dream changes. You are being instructed by inner aspects {the owl, what you call power aspects{}.

Note: The changes in the dream may denote the dream changing its focus from 'expose' to causation of the unusable parts of your psyche {what we perceive to be creative}. Cat and dog, opposite forces within your animal/human nature. The children would be inner children {as a primary focus}. The cat, the feminine aspects, is stiff, not working, dying. The disease that needs cleansing, washed away. But you have yet to discover source for the emotional disease that has caused your creative self to be rendered unusable.

Is this not where you are at this particular time in your life? Trying to understand, to discover, what the 'causes' are for this loss of creativity? This statement does suggest a possibility of repression. Or, as we discussed in an earlier post, experiences in childhood too early to be remembered but strong enough to have formed a controlling posture within your psyche. Finding the reasons, the causation, the foundations for the loss of the creative aspects.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 61 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Thank you again, Jerry. It always takes me a while to get back to you. This time, though, things have unfolded over the past couple of weeks that are so amazing...I've had a long road to figure out why I have been feeling and acting the way I have for the last year, and you've been a great help :).

Years ago, when I tried some counseling a few different times, I would be so reluctant to go back to my childhood, because my parents were "good" people and never did anything "bad" to me, so I was never able to heal those very neglected parts of myself. I finally allowed myself to go back there and realized my dad never paid any attention to me and couldn't really be bothered with his children...that was really a hard thing to see. This directly correlates with my issues currently with men and the anxiety when someone pulls back from me.

My mother was always very cold and did not hand out love/praise/touch unless there was a tragedy in the family.

I don't remember receiving acknowledgement from either for anything creative that I did. I shut most of that off at a very young age, like around 4 or 5.

I see all of this in the last several dreams I have posted here.

Now, I have this burst of creative energy that is difficult to contain :). I have also met several aspects of self that have been repressed over the years. A couple of times I've even said to myself, "where did SHE come from," as I was a bit shocked by what came out of me lol.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Minnesota

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Angie,
Your reluctance to look back at your childhood is a classic example of repressing those memories to uphold a belief you parents were good parents. The exact reason for this would require a deeper examination of your psyche. But the final discovery that your parents did not live up to their responsibilities may be the big step in resolving much of those barriers in your life that have held you back from discovery your true identity. Your relationship with men has been unconsciously tainted by the early life experiences with your father. The negative impact from your mother relationship probably will be realized with further examination. Either way you have 'come across the truth' and when we look at your dreams we can see they were pointing in that direction all along. Whereas the conscious ind can be often fooled, it is not the same with the unconscious.

As for your creativity. In Jungian psyche it is the creative aspect that holds true meaning in life. And as Joseph Campbell stated, 'it makes you feel alive'.

	“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances without own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.” ― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

"Now, I have this burst of creative energy that is difficult to contain".

Go with that and life will open up like you never could 'imagine'. It is to a great degree {physical fitness being the other} why I have been able to sustain my life in the positive and discover and express my creative self {in the pages at Myths-Dreams-Symbols}. Self examination is what we now call the 'inner journey'. And with a true and deep examination one will ultimately discover the muse, the creative, and in the process the spiritual.


Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 61 Murfreesboro, Tn

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

"As for your creativity. In Jungian psyche it is the creative aspect that holds true meaning in life. And as Joseph Campbell stated, 'it makes you feel alive'."

It sure does

I now "remember" what it is I love to do.

This has been one of the most amazing experiences, and I thank you for all of your input.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 43, Minnesota

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes