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Jumping into the Abyss

I had a dream last night between the 1st and 2nd of February that seem to me either an indication of things to come or of making the jump to something unknown.

It started off with me being perhaps 20 years younger about high school age. I had long hair and I was wearing a white long sleeve shirt dress with a black stripe down the side. I was carrying a notebook/clipboard in my right hand. I was walking and it was outside and sunny and warm. There were people around about my age and there were cars parked along side the road. The road though seemed to be on an overhang as you would going up a mountain and the cars were parked along side the edge and I see the blue sky, clouds, and the valley below. It reminded me of the hills in California. Well I was for some reason noticing how young I was and how smooth, tanned, and perfect my skin was on my leg. I think it was the thigh or back of calf.

Then next thing I know I am in a different place and I see a tall blond man walking towards me. He is handsome and I think I have seen him before, but in real life. He has wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. He looks like a California surfer. He is talking to me although I don't exactly remember what he was saying to me, but it seemed to be a story of what has happened to him in his life and he seemed to be conveying to me as in a message to me somehow with meaning. A part of his story is that he is at this house with one of those wrap around porches. It looks like one of those houses you see in a scary movie as it was dark around the house and the only the outlines of it were illuminated in white as if looking at it with the moon shining on it from an angle in the sky. He is on the edge of the porch and he gets on the railing and he is looking down into the darkness as if into the abyss. As he looks down he seems to be pushed and he jumps into the darkness.

Well he and I are sitting down together in the outside where I was before and I feel close to him like a boyfriend or someone I care about. I ask him a question about his jumping into the darkness and his time there. I think if he suffered and had pain. He lovingly rubbed his foot against mine as we had bare feet. I looked up at him and he seemed older and I noticed these two metal things sticking out where his eyebrows should be. He says to me slowly and with concern, "it is dysfunctional."

Then I woke up.

Hmmm, well I can tell you that my current relationship we just had a break and we had been fighting a lot. Also, my job there is friction and I am considering a change as well as a change in location, but I am having a hard time deciding to as a part of me wants to stay for at least one more year, because there are possibly other opportunities. As for the relationship I had wondered how long it would last as we had troubles in it.

Time to move on and take the plunge?

Thank you and whatever words you have to interpret will be appreciated.

~Angel

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 35 & Southeast

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Re: Jumping into the Abyss

Angel,
Staying with the script where the opening part of a dream usually points to the emotional issue that is in conflict, and where age is a important to that conflict, we may want to look back at your teenage years to determine what the dream is actually trying to communicate. Twenty years ago you would have been about 15. Your long hair may indicate long held attitudes, emotional aspects that began at 15 and remain to this day. White dress {white being a symbol of purity} with the black strip down the side may suggest you are still 'wearing' or possess emotional conflicts from this period in your life. Your youthful purity, a normal life in most aspects, had an 'unpure' {black} aspect about it. The reflection on your smooth skin, especially the thigh may symbolize the endurance of teenage emotional conflicts.

This first paragraph may have established the underlying causation of still existing, and controlling attitudes you possess at the age of 35. Which brings us to the present day and the handsome man. This is 'someone' you have seen before which may be pointing to associations to your teenage years. This male seems to have 'meaning'. He, in association to your past, has an association to a house {the house is you or aspects of yourself} that has an appearance of a 'scary' movie, in reference to a dark part of your life. The inner self was negatively affected yet the outer self retains a positive 'luminous' aspect {the early life emotional conflict does not totally control your life}. Those past experiences have been 'pushed' into the darkness of your unconscious.

You are now at a place you have been before. That place involved someone you cared for {the male in your dream probably represents masculine aspects of your psyche but that would be the lesser of the aspects dreams focus on}. But this later in life, an older man and an older you. The pain suffered is your pain. There is a dysfunctional aspect to the relationship to the past and the present. It may relate to 'seeing', or more fittingly an 'inability to see' something about your self. It may be you see yourself as being dysfunctional, having ended another relationship and blaming yourself. That blame may be misplaced, then and now.

We know there is an 'end' to your present relationship. Whether there is an association to a past 'lost love' or the black stripe down the side of your dress {in the dream addressing experiences as a teenager} is addressing deeper emotional trauma is to be determined. Looking back and seeing which fits best may help bring clarity to the dream and the still existing emotional conflict.


Jerry

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Re: Jumping into the Abyss

Thank you Jerry for your insightful words. As always the give me food to think more deeply and help to find more meaning for myself.

I just a dream last night about me in a car and my now ex. I was driving in my current car, but I couldn't seem to find a way out of the car garage I was in or I was lost. I kept going around curves, backing up down inclines, and in narrow spaces. I also noticed that my driver car door handle had been badly bent and/or melted into a horn shape. I also thought I had damaged my clutch as it seemed I couldn't use it move, but then it seemed it was working again and I was able to use it. I was able to drive to a more open space that was straight and wide as it was the parking area. I was trying to find a place to park as I was going to ask the older man there who seemed to be working on a work bench. He had curly gray hair and a beard and mustache. He was dressed in light blue gray coveralls. I noticed that the floor was dirty with some saw dust here and there and what seemed like black metal objects. Might be bent nails, but fortunately there weren't that many of them. The parking spaces didn't seem to be the right size for my car to park in that they were either too small or narrow and they were not in neat rows. There was a section that was perpendicular parking and the other was parallel parking. I think I asked the man where I could park and he pointed to the parking space near him that was cleaner and metal gray and was for parallel parking. So I started parking, but had difficulty at first as there seemed to be those black metal objects that I was afraid would pierce my tires. I managed to park without getting my tire pierced. Then I think I got out of the car to speak to the man.

Next flash, I seem to be in a dormitory type of building that my ex would be staying in right now. It was militaristic and industrial with low ceilings, hard tiled floors, and a lot of doors that were the rooms. The color was a muted sage green. As I am walking I see my ex and I think he sees me in the corner of his eye, but he continues on to his door and goes in. It is on an upper floor and it opens into the kitchen area. There is a a rectangular wood table with a basket with fruit on it and place mat settings. There are sheer pale rose colored curtains on the large window that has black panes, and the curtains are neatly pulled back with a tie. I notice the wallpaper are red rosebuds with green stems and two leaves - one on each side. But what I notice about the wallpaper is that it seems to be out of plastic and the other side of it is sticky for the person to stick to the wall. There is carpeting and it is a more yellow/gold sage green. It is the thicker carpet and it feels good to walk on as it is cushy and soft. Then I see another girl who is not me, in a same colored uniform and fleece jacket. Her hair is up in a bun and it almost blends with the color of her uniform, but is more golden/brown. She is going to him an speaking to him. I look at him and somehow confront him or speak to him about the suspicions I had discussed with him which seems to be true not that he is gone to another place and away from me. I follow him down the hall to the bedroom and he is out of his work clothes and in his customary white t-shirt and black/blue briefs with whit socks on. He bends down by the wall and gathers something. I must've said something to him about what I thought was true. He looks up at me and seems sad and says something about I always wanted to be in the Navy [strange thing to say].

My own comment of what he said. I recently sent him a song by Dido that is titled "My Lover's Gone" and in it she sings about not looking at the ocean and no earthly ships will return him back home to me.

One thing thought I think I am trying to figure out whether I want to try to make an effort to patch things up or let it go.

As always, your insights will be most appreciated.

Thank you,
~angel

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 35 & Southeast

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Re: Jumping into the Abyss

Angel,
Could you provide a critique of my first interpretation so we can understand whether it applies properly? Dream sessions at the Forum are learning tools and follow up responses are how we determine if the interpretation fits or not.

As for this dream. The opening statement suggest the dream is focused on you and your now ex. The car is you, and possibly having to do with the relationship. The garage is where you store your emotions and what you likely can not find a way out of are the emotions related to your ex. The continuing language would be symbolically describing those emotions. For a time you are/were unable to function normally but that was corrected {clutch}. The reference to the 'clutch' may be more about your ability to survive and continue on in 'clutch' situations. Or a need to be able to do so {if you are still having a hard time with these emotions then it would point to a need to do so}. The references to the older man may be pointing to an actual male person and/or it could be pointing to your own wiser masculine abilities/identity. The parking of your car in a particular space may symbolize putting yourself in a place you bets fit emotionally. Strength comes from your masculine aspect and it may be you need to consult those abilities to get past the emotional conflicts having to do with your breakup.

The dormitory is also you, related to your ex.The other girl is not you, but in fact is you. She would be an aspect you do not accept, understand or repress. The general contents of the following language may suggest you preferred to be somewhere else than with him. It may be you visualized yourself in undesired confines with him if the relationship continued {in a regimented relationship you did not feel comfortable}. What this dialog may be doing is providing your true emotions about the relationship even though you still have strong emotional feelings for him. Why did you break off the relationship? Both of you are wearing clothes in the dream that could suggest a life of regimentation, a ho drum situation you do not wish to find yourself in. Dreams reflect your honest and true emotions and in this dream you state. "I must've said something to him about what I thought was true". That provoked a response about being in the Navy. Being in the Navy requires a particular structure to your life. Perhaps what he offered was not the structured you wished for in life.
Again, your true emotions.





Jerry

Myths-Dreams-Symbols is Sponsored by:
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Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 61 Murfreesboro, Tn

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