Good Morning Jerry!

You really hit the nail on a multitude of things that are going on at the same time right now. Some things feel like they "click" but that I am not sure if even *I* fully understand them yet.

One of the things you mentioned: "The problem is these inner desires are not something you have experience with on the outside. You may vainly attempt to fit this inner role in your outside life but that has only created 'follies' of the emotional kind." fits well in a lot of ways. I am going to school to change my life path, I started taking yoga to relax myself, and outwardly, my job is the same (completely non-related to my college major), I'm wondering HOW to change that, IF I can change it, and the yoga: I really would like to find some inner peace that has been just non-existent. I am constantly experience internal conflict.

The childhood association makes a lot of sense - I had a wonderful childhood. It WAS carefree, innocent...there were always new beginnings, and yes, I do find myself wanting to be able to implement much of those same aspects in my waking life (I was actually just thinking about this yesterday). I would love to have that sense of discovery again.

With respect to my sister, we did end up talking this weekend, since we are also having some issues, and for now, things seem to be OK.

With respect to the bellman, and the masculine influence - I will say that I don't really believe that I have a positive masculine role model in my life. I have very few men in my life, and the few that surround me, be it at work or in my family, are condascending, depressed or just do not care. So it does leave me in a strange place. I do not have any male friends, either.

But again, this does get me to think about how I need to open up more - and by opening up, it will allow that chance of discovery (this was also in connection to what I was thinking about yesterday).

I am going to digest this some more. I sincerely appreciate that you took the time to read my dream.

Nothing like being an "emotional hot mess"! =D

Jackie

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 35, Buffalo, NY

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes - a year ago or so?

Jackie,
A quick response for now and I will try to provide something more in depth later today or in the morning.

The life change and struggles you mentioned does fit with what I sensed. But how to go about making those changes is the task before you and the dream will only help clarify where you are and what emotional aspects you are up against. For the rest you will need direction and your involvement with yoga is a great starting point. Merely because it teaches you to 'let go' it may help with how you structure the rest of your life. We have to let go of those perceived notices society puts on us and go after those true values that the heart desires. My path has been through Joseph Campbell {as a teacher} and his 'follow your bliss'. I am at the end of my career in the social realm {I am retiring and moving to Florida next month} and can now truly follow my bliss, my dream work and maintaining and designing my websites {particularly the Myths-Dreams-Symbols website}. And it is co-incidental that I too over the weekend was talking to someone about how great it would be to be in that place when i was a young boy, sitting under a tree, not a worry in the world. The inner self seeks that place. Partly because of us never were able to find fulfillment as children. Your lack of proper masculine guidance may have started then, in childhood {which I referenced in my interpretation}. Or it could be having a great childhood you now seek that masculine who are supportive. On the other hand it could be your own masculine identity needs to find greater support within yourself. There is always more than one application to every symbolic reference.

My final thoughts for now are 'to follow your bliss'. Once you discover what that bliss is the inner self can never be satisfied until you reach it. Yoga is a great tool for introspection, self analyzation, what we call 'going inward'. There is where you will meet your true self which leads to the discovery of your bliss.

Jerry