Gian,
Distractions from the spiritual path are a constant. I have in the past used the term 'social dragon' as an application to having to serve society when the desire wishes to serve the soul. For you there is a long road to travel in battling the 'dragons' of social duty. Joseph Campbell reminds us this is the major challenge in life. Do you serve the dragon or the soul? This applies to his 'follow your bliss' instructions, discovering and following that thing in life you love doing most. From experience I know first hand the obstacles that come up in that endeavor. You have to make a living and if your job is not what you love doing most the plan needs to be to work toward those ends, one step at a time. There will always be obstacles, that is how the hero journey plays out, that's life {the first Buddhist saying is 'life is all sorrowful'}. But as long as you live a spiritual life and consciously work toward your bliss, you will come to bliss. There is a mechanism in nature, what Campbell called the helping hands of fate {angles for some people} that will guide you and help you when there seems to be unmovable barriers. I know this to be true, I have lived it and having taken early retirement last October I am fully engaged in living my bliss. And all along the way to getting here, there was an abundance of helping hands. I had to do the leg work {God provides the tools, the work to be done is yours} and with discipline a road may to go by {Campbell's Momonmyth and Jung's Individuation Process} I am in that place I have so longed to be in. If I can do it so can you. The great thing for you is you have discovered early in life there is an alternative path to wholeness. i was 42 before I began my journey inward.

Jerry

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