Dream Analysis/Interpretation by Dream Analyst
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My 3 Selves

I had a dream a week ago. This is the transcript of my journal entry:

Dark self & light self

I come upon a strange scene outside in a yard or garden. There is a small shed with the door open and it has a deck, like a long step in front of it. Two ‘people’ are visible:

One “self” is lurking in the back of the shed, surrounded by a dark, black aura. She is crooked, twisted in a way. She hides because if she comes into the light, something bad will happen to her. She is the DARK self.

The other “self” is lying on the step, a bit on her right side, obviously weak, looking up at me. She has a light aura all around her, so she is the LIGHT self. She can stay in the light of day and nothing bad happens to her.

I know upon seeing them both that:

1) this is me,

2) the Light self has been tempting the Dark self by coming too close to the latter one’s domain (the depths of the shed) and this is draining her energy

3) I don’t understand why she is doing this; it seems crazy to me.

I tell the Light self that she can’t continue doing this – it will drain all her energy. The Light self looks up at me and smiles weakly. It’s as if she knows what she is doing, but she doesn’t care. I know that she will keep on tempting the Dark self, regardless of what I say.

The context:
The day before I had been immersed in doing digital designs and advertising my products on the internet, which exhausted me. I love to create digital scrapbooking kits, but there's a part of me that wants to do it for the acclaim, to be approved of.

What I REALLY want to do - but haven't been able to in years of coming and going - is write my book, no - finish my book, which I've been writing it seems like forever.

Recently I left a marriage of 12 years because I realised that I had only married this man to be taken care of. I've been afraid to be responsible for my life since I was a child. Jung calls this misoneism, and this term fits me perfectly. This recent separation is my attempt at autonomy and I've been trying to grow by deciphering my dreams, journaling, doing shadow-work. And writing my book.

I feel that one of those 'selves' in my dream is my inner saboteur (saboteuse?) but which one? The 'dark' one hiding in the shadows (is she my shadow or my over-eager, draining ego?) or the 'lying' one, the 'light' one, who refuses to stand up for herself, but wants to remain weak? Is she my ego?

I've been trying to decipher this dream for a week now. If anyone can help, I would so appreciate it!
Thank you!
Raymonde Savoie


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Re: My 3 Selves

Raymonde,
Likely the dream is addressing both experiences you mentioned, the desire to create as well as the ended marriage. This would be the two 'visible people' that you are aware of in your conscious life. Here is what I get from the dream when breaking it down.

Something in your waking life has occurred, something out of the ordinary or unusual experience, an experience that subconsciously has potential {garden}. One aspect of yourself has opened that extends into conscious understanding that has to do with the ego self. But it also involves the two aspects of yourself.

There is a shadow self lurking within the unconscious. When this aspect is given thought it is consciously disturbing.

The other self, the positive self, is weakened by this dark aspect. This aspect endures despite the dark being hidden within.

With the added info your provided the dark self in the context of creativity may relate to the 'acclaim' associated with your creative art {see Note below}. Joseph Campbell in his directive to 'follow your bliss' tells us if we do it for money we are off track. If we do it because it is what we love doing it is our bliss. I believe any spiritual being {related to the earth} that discovers the creative self knows this inherently and it will cause conflict when the true self is threatened by the ego acclaim it seeks. The ego acclaim would be the 'dark self'. I can see where the dream is addressing this emotional conflict, the dark ego self vs the light creative self. These are the two people within yourself.

My thought to do with this aspect is to follow your bliss faithfully and spiritually. The acclaim will come from that if it is to be.

But there is the other application of the dream that has to do with 'deeper' emotional issues. Jung tells us all dreams {and images} have AT LEAST two meanings and or applications. The two people to do with the ego.creative conflict would be one application. The other would have to do with the 'light' one, who refuses to stand up for herself, but wants to remain weak? The marriage that ended after twelve years would be a part of this application. Let's examine the info you have given in that aspect and the 'deeper' psyche issues.

First the deeper psyche issues. Consider this. The approval you seek in acclaim has to do with approval from early life experiences. I have confronted that in my personal life. Why are that person 'who refused to stand up for herself and wanted to remain weak? There is a reason for it and most often it stems from early/earlier life experiences and influences. Are you weak because of a need for acceptance in early life? If unfilled in childhood it will remain so until it is either fulfilled or resolved by conscious intent. Your marriage ended because you wanted/needed to be taken care of. Unfulfilled needs from early life could be the reason you married the guy in the first place. Unconscious forces that drive conscious actions. That was my experiences in life and I see it often in working with dreams here at the Dream forum.

A telling statement; "I've been afraid to be responsible for my life since I was a child". Since childhood. That is a constant in so many people's life. Mine included.

As for the dream and its interpretation to this aspect.

The 'strange scene' would be the 'unusual' circumstances in your life having to do with the ending of your marriage. The usual thing would be to continue on that path of living a lie with a man you do not wish to be with. The small shed would be another part of you {house with a shed} and with that shed is an extension of you. There is an open door. The shed would be a part of you that has opened up to being your true self, that self being free of the man and early life influences that put you into an unnecessary marriage. Both {two} must be 'realized'. It is a long step in achieving this.

The self lurking in the back of the head {unconscious} would be the influences/experiences of early life that has created who you are in the present. A shadow aspect. Anything DARK in a dream is a candidate for the shadow aspect. The 'auras' that surround us are the energies of the psyche illuminating out from the physical body. these experiences/influences have caused a crooked, twisted being {we can aslo apply the crooked adjective as a part of the 'acclaim' aspect of attention for your creative services-not of the true self which would make it a 'crook'}.
What is hidden are these underlying experiences/influences within the unconscious. Hidden not because of repression as much as not an understanding the forces they possess. If this 'dark' self is brought to conscious light there will be emotional conflict. That is it must be keep in the dark unconscious. Once it is brought up and realized you have to confront those people and experiences that caused your life to be dark {one of which was living with a man for 12 years you did not need to be with}.

The other self lying on the step on her right side is you having taken that step away from your marriage to this man. the right side is social obligation and expectations {the left side is one of adventure-the tue self being the creative being and not doing what society expects/demands of you}. But this elf is still surrounded by the dark aura of unconscious forces that you in this place to begin with. Those issues remain unresolved. You are not the wholly strong person you can be, still weak, burdened by these influences. But out of the dark resides the true self, the light energy that is much stronger than any dark forces. For me and from my education in Campbell and Jung, those forces of light are creative and spiritual. This aura is the positive aura that surrounds all other energies. And when we follow the hero/heroine path {Campbell's Monomyth} we do not have to be afraid, we have the hands of fate to guide us. Psychologically speaking, when you put yourself in the moment and not let the mind carry on with the thought process of ego centeredness, nothing is happening. You are here, alive, a flower with no meaning but living in the moment.

Let me know your thoughts and impressions. There are always several other applications and meanings to every dream but from what you have written these two are what strike me as central themes. Only you know for sure what is in your life but the one thing that knows more is the dream.



Note: I personally have had to confront this aspect many times in my dream work and my web design. There is always the question, "how much of this is ego"? Fortunately from a spiritual center that has experienced an in-depth death and resurrection I am able to cast that aside and concentrate on the creative and not the ego 'acclaim' be the focus. I think it natural to have thoughts of acclaim since we all require attention and acceptance. It is the natural being within us derived from the archetypal forces we are born with.

Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You



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Re: My 3 Selves

Hi Jerry,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and thought-provoking reply. I have printed it out and will read/respond to it this afternoon.

It is much appreciated!
Raymonde

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Re: My 3 Selves

Words are hard to formulate right now. I'm trying to express how your suggestions impacted on me and all I can think of is - a lot!

First, when I read how you joined up the light self who remained weak to my ended marriage, I didn't want to look at that. I couldn't see the relationship at all. No pun intended! :) I had, after all, dealt with that by simply leaving. Hadn't I? Rather, I know now, all I had really done was "hide" the relationship's residual importance from my conscious reality, preferring instead to deny it by not talking (or thinking) about it. I ran away without explaining too much why I was doing this. The situation was precarious and I was afraid that if I explained too much, violence would ensue. In effect, I've kept all that as secret as I could.

And we know what happens to secrets. They make us weak, or worse, they take on a life of their own and play havoc as runaway complexes.

So, yesterday I wrote and wrote - ten whole handwritten pages of writing, thinking, figuring, letting those revelations bring me closer to myself. I am also reading a very important book at the moment, Meeting The Shadow - a series of articles edited by Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams, Tarcher/Putnam, 1991. Maybe you know it?

As a result, I was able to see clearly that this dark figure hiding in the shed is indeed my abandoned childhood self who, like the secret in the psyche, is trying to wreak havoc in order to assuage her insecurity. When I read that very word, "insecurity," from the article written by Marie-Louise von Franz, it felt like a fireworks had gone off in my head.

Sure, I've "known" abuot this childhood thing for a long time, and I had done some inner child work that seemed to help bring me some peace. But there was always something else to do, to be distracted by, it was too hard, etc. This time, it's a different spin, though, and I think I know why I couldn't quite stick with "healing my inner child" all those years that I tried and tried.

I never saw her as my shadow. The insecure little girl in me, ignored for so long, has now become a destructive pattern in my psyche. She is no longer sweet and ‘just’ needy, but ‘crooked,’ a saboteur of major import, driven and compulsive. I’m just realising all this as I type, at this very moment.

Now that I make this connection, I think I understand a dream that I had a couple of years ago when I was still in the marriage. As you say, dream layers can be of multiple meanings, and this one certainly is no different, but I could not pinpoint exactly why I had this dream.

I am in my childhood home and I answer the ringing phone. As I stand at the window looking out, I am looking towards the home of my abuser who sexually molested me when I was a little girl. He lived only two houses up the road. To my horror, it’s him on the phone! I am paralysed with fear, but I still have a modicum of feeling safe because he is, after all, on the phone so he must be, by extension, far away. But then I hear him say, “I am right beside you. I am right here.” I am shocked and terrified beyond belief!

This man, being my predator/abuser/intruder, has been a recurring theme in my dreams for all my life. He usually is hiding in the barn – where the abuse occurred – or getting me in trouble and running away, usually on a bicycle. This time, though, it’s different. His message of “I am here” meant that, even as I was under the false impression that he was safely far away, what I had assumed was wrong, very wrong. My “abuser,” or the one that meant me harm in my dreams, was in me! Or... was in my house. One meaning could be that “he” was my husband, who at the time was starting to be violent and drinking too much in waking life.

I have not had one dream since of this man, or of this theme. At the time, I could not understand... but I think that one real meaning of this “intruder/negative element in my house” is my little girl whom I have been ignoring for years.

The (dream) living room I was in was the one (in waking life) in which I used to play in as a child, where I tried to learn to be an artist, where I read my books, wrote my diary, where we had our Christmas tree, all were magical times for me.

I’m presently trying to “stand in the middle” of this psychic situation, not trying to fix it, or run away from it, as my ego self would so like to do. I want to let all this simmer in my consciousness and see what else comes up, if anything.

I am very grateful to have found this forum. Like the Transcendent Function, you have offered me a third option, hitherto not considered. Thank you.

Raymonde

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Re: My 3 Selves

Raymonde,
Let me interpret this dream and later provide a follow up to your response. I do appreciate your willingness to share. We learn from every dream especially when there is a follow up reply to an interpretation.

First off. A pattern that I have found to be true in dreams, one that is uniform in just about all dreams that have been posted at the Dream Forum, is when a dream starts out with the action being in a childhood home, or if there is an unknown young child, the dream is at least partially addressing childhood experiences. I can not think of one recent dream over the past couple of years that deviated from this pattern.

In your dream the ringing phone would represent an emotional conflict from the psyche that needs to be answered/addressed. Windows are opportunities to see through things clearly. The home of the abuser is actually your psychological home that is still in conflict. You are still that little girl in so many ways emotionally. That issue still needs to be answered. The safety is in it is pushed back into the unconscious {the phone is a real person, only the voice of the unconscious}. The extension is the continuing emotional affect it still has on you. The unresolved experience I still there.

Note: It isn't often a dream comes right out makes a direct statement there was a particular abuser {"I am looking towards the home of my abuser who sexually molested me when I was a little girl"}. Usually it is disguised in symbolic language so not to overload the dream emotionally. Such nuances can be important in understanding dream patterns.

The fact this man is hiding reflects the hidden experience that has been stored into the unconscious and its continuing influence. The hiding is an unconscious hiding from the experience. The getting into trouble may reflect actual direct influences from your life, you were getting into trouble because of these unconscious mechanisms that have control over your conscious actions {I kow this to be true in my life}. The running away may also represent actual waking life patterns {running away, also a pattern in my life}.

The different message in this dream, "I am here" may reflect the urgency the past experiences is now needing to be realized and resolved, as well as a reminder from the unconscious that it is still unresolved. The impression you were far away would reflect your thinking you had resolved the issues surrounding the abuse. False impressions are just that. You are bstill abusing yourself unconsciously because it has not been fully resolved. It is still within you {house}. He has taken the form of your husband.

That last statement could be important in it may reflect an unconscious influence that pushed you to marrying the man who you now know is not the person you want in your life. Consciously you were not aware, or even could be aware, the man you married woudl turn out to be the viloent person he has turned out to be. i am one who strongly believes that the intuitive mind recognizes things long before the conscious mind does. Even that far back when you married him there may have been a intuitive recogniztion. The abuser in your childhood has to be compensated in real life. Much in the same way women marry their 'fathers' or men their mothers {men/women who are replacements}. Marion woodman does an excellent job in presenting this issue in her works.

I just now noticed your statement about running away as being a pattern in your life. Once again the dream reflects a truth in the waking life. Unconsciously the reasons for this action of running away are from childhood/earlier life experiences and influences.

Dreams are about symbols, metaphor and motifs. A motif is a pattern.
mo·tif
/mōˈtēf/
Noun
A decorative design or pattern.

Looking for patterns within a dream that reflect patterns in the waking life. The patterns are emotional. They reflect what is true in the dreamer's life. As Jung said, "dreams mean exactly what they say". It is deciphering the language that must be performed, recognizing the pieces and putting together the puzzle that is the dreamer's life. There is never a lack of fascinating stuff when dealing with dreams.

Note: I often can recognize personality patterns in dreams that reflect actual personality traits. Again the finite nuances within dreams often reveal truths that go beyond what we already understand about dreams. The more we learn the more we realize we still have to learn. My thinking is the whole life of the dreamer, even the smallest things are available for viewing in our dreams. Especially if there are the least tidbits of emotional energy connected with them. Dreams are fascinating, simply fascinating.

I'll provide a response to the rest of your follow up post later today.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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Re: My 3 Selves

Raymonde,
This is a response I had given related to your dream but had posted in another post {My Dream: Cutting the Grass}. I want to post it here so we have a complete record.


Raymonde,

I am so glad you could make a connection. Hopefully we can expand on that and together learn more about dreams and the psyche. I have always saw this as a learning forum as much as one for interpreting dreams. Not only about learning dreams but ourselves and the deeper psych.



I am a self taught 'intuitive' Jungian but that doesn't exclude me, or anyone else with a keen intuitive mind, from understanding the concepts of Jungian psyche. It may be an asset since many scholarly Jungians tend to overlook the finite nuances of the dream. I use Jung's concepts as a guide but I let the intuitive mind do the rest. I look at dreams as puzzles with a need to put the obscure pieces together to form a visible picture. After 15 years of working with dreams and intensely studying the concepts I believe we can readily understanding most dreams. For me they are no longer the mystery they once were. Jung got it right and with what he has provided all that is needed is an intuitive mind to understand and interpret dreams. I have an average mind but an intuitive one.



With your vast experience in working with dreams I dare say it will easy for you to connect the dots. I truly believe the feminine psyche is the superior function and with your natural feminine abilities you have an advantage. As you stated you need only make the right connection. Perhaps working together you will be able to connect the dots.



There is one advantage i may have that has provided important insights to the dream world. One thing I have done that few others interested in dreams have is being the webmaster of my own dream websites. That has made it an intimate relationship where I have been able to express that other self. Plus I have used the time studying dreams to work on my own 'Individuation Process'. With 500+ pages at my Myths-Dreams-Symbols website I can reference direct pages I have created myself. Doing the research alone was a task but also very educational. It has put me in touch with my creative self, that higher function I believe the natural psyche seeks. Now that I am able to 'follow my bliss' since taking early retirement last October I hope to expand my horizons in examining the deeper psyche. Meeting and working with persons like yourself is the next step in my evolution. I now only believe in synchronistic events I have experienced them to a degree I know they exist. Perhaps your chance discovery of my dream forum will be a synchronistic event for both of us.



Are you familiar with Joseph Campbell? That is a link I recommend to anyone interested in learning Jung. His ability to articulate Jung is without comparison in my opinion. I have read most of the same people you listed but none matched Campbell. Those who did were female. The first in this category I recommend is Marion Woodman.



I look forward to your final assessment of my interpretation.





Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You





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Re: My 3 Selves

This is Raymonde's post to My Dream: Cutting the Grass


Re: My Dream: Cutting the Grass-Shorter Summary-Interpretation Part 1



Hi Jerry ~

You are teaching me a lot by posting your dreams and own interpretations here. I am SO grateful for this!



I've been studying dreams for years and have accumulated journals and records of my dreams for the past 40 years. Only recently, since 2010, have I really been able to unlock my own symbol keys in order to understand my own dreams. I've also studied Jung, Robert Johnson, Hillman, Anthony Stevens, etc. as well as taken a course in dream interpretation while in Australia. I've joined groups, created my own, forums etc. in the hopes of connecting on the same level in dream understanding as I've attained - or aspire to - and I've quit all of them, for lack of said connection.



Not so here. Thank YOU! ... esp. for this, what you've just said above and which I truly believe also ... quoting you:



"As I do this I am once again going over the dream to see what new realizations come from that. Anytime one reviews a dream they are also reviewing their life. That is therapeutic, and often brings about new realizations and maybe new revelations. I am in fact, and practice, self-analyzing myself by interpreting this dream. This is exactly what Jung’s Individuation Process is all about and why dreams can be important to that process."



I will continue reading your interpretation now...

Raymonde





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Re: My 3 Selves

I have read your response and am in the process of answering in a Word doc.
Today was not a good day for me to be on the computer, as the power went out for practically the whole day and what little time I did have was tainted by a headache. so... I will try to post my answer tomorrow.

As always, Jerry - very intriguing!
thanks!

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Re: My 3 Selves

Raymonde,
I look forward to your response. I Googled Atlantic Canada and can imagine the bad weather. Hope you are warm and comfortable and will have internet access soon.

Jerry

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Re: My 3 Selves

In response to your interpretation of my Phone Call Dream:
(Your quotes are italicized and bolded.)

I stand here grinning to myself because, Jerry, you have hit the nail on the head. I stand corrected. You are so right that ...

It isn't often a dream comes right out makes a direct statement there was a particular abuser

I recounted this dream without going back to find it in my records and so, I improvised – meaning that I didn’t report exactly what had happened in the dream, but rather I added my own interpretation to it, in addition to recounting the dream from memory. That wasn’t fair.

Let me correct that. In the dream, I am standing in the living room of my childhood home and facing the window. This window looks west. In the reality, that would be facing the road going west, where lived at that time the man who abused me that whole summer. In the dream, I do not ‘think’ of that or of my abuser, rather I am simply feeling safe because I am in the house in which I grew up. But then, the phone rings.

As a side-note, I have gone back to my records and looked but I can’t find this particular dream.

In your dream the ringing phone would represent an emotional conflict from the psyche that needs to be answered/addressed.

At the time of the dream, early 2011, I was still living in Australia with my husband and I was still in denial that my situation was seriously deteriorating. I was trying to keep so busy as to not think about the truth. It took me another 4 or 5 months to make it all conscious.

The fact this man is hiding reflects the hidden experience that has been stored into the unconscious and its continuing influence. The hiding is an unconscious hiding from the experience.

Yes, I was harbouring this blatant denial from myself but it was certainly having a bad influence on me and my relationship.

The impression you were far away would reflect your thinking you had resolved the issues surrounding the abuse. False impressions are just that. You are bstill abusing yourself unconsciously because it has not been fully resolved. It is still within you {house}. He has taken the form of your husband.

This is amazing! At this time, I was definitely “under the impression” that this part of my past had been successfully resolved, so why was I still dreaming of my abuser calling me? The cocoon of denial wrapped me up in a false security, on so many levels.

I was allowing myself to ‘be abused’ because I thought I didn’t deserve better, and that the pain of staying was worth it, for all the false security this provided. But my unconscious had other plans. I was not fulfilling my responsibility to my self (to my little girl who had been abused) to protect and care for myself properly.

That last statement could be important in it may reflect an unconscious influence that pushed you to marrying the man who you now know is not the person you want in your life. Consciously you were not aware, or even could be aware, the man you married woudl turn out to be the viloent person he has turned out to be. i am one who strongly believes that the intuitive mind recognizes things long before the conscious mind does.

This is under another light that I didn’t see this dream before, Jerry. The shock of the voice saying he “was here” propelled me into having to assess my situation in the ensuing months, but I never saw it related to ME still abusing myself by having chosen him to be my husband in the first place.

Yes, I have read the books, I have studied and admitted and been to meetings: codenpendency, addictions, and 12-stepping are very familiar to me. I know how two people are drawn to each other not only by the physical/obvious attributes, but more important by the unconscious drives that rule the behaviours and match each other in order to fulfill imperatives of which the conscious mind is totally unaware. Mine was a quest for mastery from way back, from the time of the abuse. But I thought I had healed all that! LOL!

Even that far back when you married him there may have been a intuitive recogniztion.

When we met in 2000, yes, I did recognise him ... emotionally being drawn to him like the proverbial moth to the flame. Many times, my conscious mind got flashes of doubts, earthquakes in my psyche that tried to warn me that something was wrong, from the beginning. But my need for being loved (validated, vindicated, whatever) was so strong that I was totally blinded to what he really was. Even back then, in the early months, he showed his violent side ... and I chose to overlook it, just like that! I accepted his excuses without a single thought or doubt. I had, after all, found the perfect man to take care of me. Ha!

The abuser in your childhood has to be compensated in real life.

Now this is more shocking than anything else. I get the part about finding a father to care for me, and having to heal this rift of helplessness (quest for mastery)... but how does the abuser come in?

What does my unconscious want me to integrate here? In marrying this (abusing) man, I married my abuser ... in order to heal the event’s traumatic effect on me as a little girl? This makes sense (in part) because, in doing this, I was presented again with the same scenario – different place, different characters – and I did escape. Eventually, I did end the marriage as it became impossible for me to hold this opposing knowledge in consciousness. I couldn’t continue lying to myself that my marriage was legitimate. I was here for all the wrong reasons and I had to leave.

I stopped the lie from continuing and I rescued myself, seeing the abuse for what it was and also seeing MY RESPONSIBILITY in having initiated it and accepting it for almost twelve years. That’s what hurt the most, seeing that I was still reacting from my unconscious desire to be cared for and everything done for me. Still being scared of life, of taking responsibility for myself. You are so right:

Unconsciously the reasons for this action of running away are from childhood/earlier life experiences and influences.

Instead of facing the conflict or the mess that I made, I usually ran away and conveniently forgot about it. I was running away – having moved to another province - when I met this man who became my husband. He offered to take me to Australia. Now that was a great place to run away to! My mother was sick, my sister and my family needed me, but no, I wanted to run away to get married. There are so many other things I have run away from.

Yes, Jerry, I was running away from my childhood and all the pain that contained. When my psyche decided to right these wrongs in my life by first, showing me where I was and what I was doing, I knew I couldn’t keep on running away anymore. So I came back home to face the familial conflicts, the debts we had left behind, and to help my dying sisters, among other things. Many other things.

My dreams are still helping me face my reality. For that, I am grateful and also for having found your forum. There is still so much to learn and grow with!

When you quote Campbell, “Follow your bliss,” I know at a deep, resonating level that my bliss is simply and actively growing towards my wholeness and individuation. We both know there is nothing easy about it, but simple – yes, if I continue to listen to my dreams.

Three days ago, I went on Amazon and almost ordered ‘The Power of Myth’ ... then changed my mind. I have never read it but it was calling me! Then I found your forum. Now I know I am meant to read that book. : )

Raymonde

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Re: My 3 Selves

Raymonde,
I'll begin a response and will finish if I should not have time to completer it before having to leave.

Over the past several years I have been able to see certain patterns in the structure in dreams and seldom if ever have I seen direct statements as you posted. Not there is a problem with doing that but dreams do seem to stay with certain patterns. Anytime I see the dream start out with a statement like yours, "I am standing in the living room of my childhood home" you can pretty know it is an actual statement of an experience during that period of time. The home/house is the dreamer. Often the dream statement will be of an unknown child in the home. But it is always about the experience as a child. I use Jung's structuring of dreams when possible {a lot of posted dreams lack a good sentence structure} and it does seem to fit in most dreams. Especially the initial setting and the ending.

Your recognition of the direction {West} can be important. It is another 'clue' to what the dream is trying to communicate. Directions and numbers are important. These are the little nuances I spoke of that help in understand dream patterns. Using the intuitive mind along with Jungian concepts and you have a good chance of understanding the dream message{s}.

It is odd you used this particular dream but could not find it in your journal. I very much believe in sychronistic events and there may be a reason for this. After my own chance encounter with Joseph Campbell that one Sunday afternoon on PBS I have become a convert of one of Jung's more controversial concepts. Of course Campbell provides other proof of the reliability of synchronous events. The Power of Myth is powerful reading for a mind that is open to the greater possibilities. Another obscure book that has finally received its proper attention is his 'Transformations of Myth Through Time. It has been repacked and renamed Mythos {which is hosted by Susan Sarandon}. Campbell is are beautifully articulate of what is often difficult language to understand. This book says so much about our origins, physical and psychological.

The ringing phone. I am always looking for tools that send messages from the unconscious. Again a common symbol for such communication. Especially when it is a context that points to such a communication. What is it that is 'unanswered' in your psyche? The same thing goes for 'hidden things'. I believe we should never take any symbol as concrete but there are those that do seem to have a standard meaning. Houses and cars, ships and other modes of transportation. We can't call them archetypal because they were not from the original psyche, at least not in the forms we know them today. Abodes and modes of travel could be thought as universal symbols but not quite archetypal.

Being far away in the context of the dream sent a statement to me that said this is 'far away' from your conscious mind. Again there is a pattern forming, creative a central motif in the dream. Once it starts to go in a certain direction it should play out to a point a motif is formed. If there is a a new direction which would point to something different I think the dream will be structured so to see it. A lot has to do to how a dream is posted. The way you wrote your dream makes it a lot easier to see a beginning and an ending. And new directions.

Of course in any dream the primary message is of an unresolved emotional conflict. In my mind that is what dreams are all about. A desire for the natural psyche to communicate to the dream of an emotional energy that has not been given its proper attention and needs resolution. Dreams are therapeutic. I equate the dream with the immune system of the physical body. Marion Woodman says the archetypes are to the psyche as DNA is to the physical body. Not all dream symbols are archetypal but their symbolic reference is to something central to the person's life. It is nature's way of helping with making us whole. Jung believe we were meant to be whole from the beginning but with all nature there are 'defects' that evolution eventually corrects.

I also strongly believe in the strong emotional influences and experiences of early life, especially childhood, as retaining an influence over who we become later in life. Unconsciously we act out what is lacking from our developing years of life. Most all of us have issues from childhood. many dismiss their importance in later life but it seems we tend to act out in ways that supports these influences. it is like the glove and the hand. They go together as one when worn.

The intuitive mind has great powers. I realized some years ago I do possess intuitive abilities, not only with dreams but in general. Put that together with my many years of working with people {I was a health codes inspector for 12 years where I was in constant contact with all types and levels of personalities}. Having been married thrice and many other emotional relationships has provided a catalog of experiences I now can use when working with other people's emotional issues. been there done that has merits even tough I wish I could go back and redo much of the wrongs in my life. An intuitive mind, people skills and just plain common sense is worth more than any degree I could have received from a college. But of course it would be great if I had a formal training in Jungian psyche to go with I do possess.

The compensation I spoke of in your waking life as an adult was marrying a man who was abusive. We tend to continue the pattern of emotional behavior from early life on into adult life. A man with a devouring mother is likely to marry the same type woman. The emotional issues are unresolved and the first thing the physical mind wants to do is stay with it was brought up with. A negative pattern that has to be broken before wholeness can be realized. That is what you have finally done. Divorced your abuser, started on the real path of resolving your childhood abuse.

Your life of running is like mine. In my marriages when I could find happiness it was because of the void from childhood. Thinking it was with someone else, or something else, my addition was sexual. A lot of these patterns work themselves out but it is not until what the void is that we can resolution and true harmony in life. We all have additions and most often it is from early life experiences/influences. These influences don't make you do it but they are so strong the least bit of temptation will cause the pattern to continue throughout life, until resolved.

I strongly suggest you read Campbell. His articulation of Jungian psyche is unmatched. Another wonderful sage is Marion Woodman. I've read many of the same authors as you but these two provided a clear understanding of what it is all about. Another important author was Elaine Pagals. She helped me resolve my Christian roots with her introduction to the Gnostic Jesus. 'Secret knowledge' we all possess but few 'know' about. Unconscious knowledge of central truths that will set the conscious mind free.

Looks as if i got about all I wanted to say in the time I had available. I look forward to a continued dialog. Not something i get much of, especially with someone who has the same interests and knowledge I find important. There is quite a 'few' of us but hard to find and come together.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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Re: My 3 Selves

Thank you, Jerry, for your very insightful words.
I had my weekly creative thing to do today, but I will answer your questions tomorrow morning, when I am 'fresher.'
You have convinced me, however, to try to get my hands on both The Power of Myth and on whatever I can find on Marion Woodman.
I will be back soon
Raymonde

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Re: My 3 Selves

Jerry,

I too find it amazing that I simply can’t find that particular dream in my records, which are otherwise meticulously dated and filed in an orderly manner. The reason I remember it so well is because I had a coaching session with a mentor at that time and I recounted the dream to her so I could work on it.

I have looked for that dream for literally hours and I still can’t find it. I’m starting to think that I must’ve dreamed it in another year altogether but used it for my coaching because it was so disturbing to me. I will just have to continue to look.

Directions in dreams are always very prominent and specific for me. Maybe it’s because I’ve studied the Four Directions, used them in workbooks I wrote, and I incorporated them in my own spiritual practice as well. My present Goddess-Shamaness studies/spiritual practice also embrace the earth’s cardinal points in a very meaningful way.

Of course in any dream the primary message is of an unresolved emotional conflict.

West for me is the place of introspection, learning and diving into the darkness/unconscious to uncover psyche’s treasures. In this dream, I am definitely being shown something important from my unconscious – the revelation that the abuser was still “with” me. I needed to see this and take this on board as very significant knowledge.

The emotional issues are unresolved and the first thing the physical mind wants to do is stay with it was brought up with. A negative pattern that has to be broken before wholeness can be realized. That is what you have finally done. Divorced your abuser, started on the real path of resolving your childhood abuse.

How does one resolve such a conflict? You say by breaking the negative pattern. Is this what I’ve done by leaving? Somehow I have a feeling that it’s not as simple as that...

I’ve moved away, came back home to Canada, and am now living close to where I was brought up, about 20 miles away. Occasionally I see him, the man who abused me that whole summer. Though I’ve worked on this wound for years, I feel there is yet more to be done. But what? I ask myself. Working on dreams is good, but it’s a slow, tedious process, I find.

So I’m writing a book and that seems to assuage the demons a bit. It’s a double-edged sword, though, as I know I need to work on and write about it. When I do, I invariably feel better for having done so. But it’s also a hard, painful process that I have a tendency to put off, ignore and ‘forget’ until the 2X4 hits me in the face again. Like the dream of the 3 Selves.

It’s as if my inner little girl will not let me rest until I have totally told her story, and put it out there. I’ve been fighting with this realisation for years! Sure I want to write a book, doesn’t everyone? Is this my persona (or ego) trying to make itself look all la-dee-da, look at me, I wrote a book on abuse.

I don’t want it to be about only the abuse. That is definitely not what my life is only about! This journey that is mine has been filled with pain, yes, but also multiple joys of integrating my unconscious knowledge and learning about psyche, about complexes, and how to heal them. Above all, I want to heal this one.

I had my share of addictions like you, Jerry, and I don’t want to be doomed to continue repeating the same psychic patterns until I die. I know the void, and she is my little girl’s need for validation and love. You are writing about me when you say this, it’s true.

Your life of running is like mine. In my marriages when I could find happiness it was because of the void from childhood. Thinking it was with someone else, or something else, my addiction was sexual. A lot of these patterns work themselves out but it is not until what the void is that we can resolution and true harmony in life. We all have addictions and most often it is from early life experiences/influences. These influences don't make you do it but they are so strong the least bit of temptation will cause the pattern to continue throughout life, until resolved.

It’s the process of healing, isn’t it? It can’t happen overnight and it’s not a fell swoop thing, but each dream, each insight generated, each emotional quake, all serve to bring some peace, some piece to the puzzle.

Thank you, Jerry. Your intuitive gift has helped me a lot.

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Re: My 3 Selves

Raymonde,
I use my education in Campbillian mythology to address many of the directions and numbers in dreams. West is the direction of adventure and in our true lives that is what we seek. Not what society dictates but what the soul longs for. Of course in Jungian psyche four is the number for wholeness and nine is associated with that as the feminine source of knowing. It is amazing how dreams use these numbers and directions as symbol and metaphor in dreams. And although we never say there is a concrete fixed meaning I see a lot of consistency in numbers and directions. Even when dealing with personal issues of emotional conflicts, beyond the archetypal applications we would normally apply them to. I believe there is an archetypal influence on all dream images, what is not archetypal approaches in many instances a 'universal' application. For instance a house in a dream is always either symbolic of the dreamer or related to the dreamer in a very personal way. "I was in my mother's house" would be speaking to the relationship with the mother and since the dream is about the dreamer then it is a personal house. I find there is little deviation from this concept and when I use it in an interpretation I get a positive response.

About breaking the negative pattern. If it requires leaving your husband to resolve the issues, yes, that is what needs to be done. You are in a loveless marriage, one that likely was unconsciously assimilated to 'fulfill the abusive' nature you experienced as a child. You are punishing yourself eternally and one of the results is to marry an abusive person. You have to end that pattern.

About the man who abused you. He needs to be held accountable. I did not know this was something that continued in your life, still in contact with him. I can see also in your last posted dream where there may be a message about this {I will take another look at the dream and see where it may fit in}. Just as with the abused children in the Catholic church, a complete healing could not take place until one, it was brought out into the open and two, those who perpetrated the deeds were held accountable.

Another aspect to your last dream that may have an explanation in this post is about writing your book and it having a double edged sword. You ARE consciously and rightfully dealing with the demons by expressing it. As with my self expression through Myths-Dreams-Symbols I was able to see what is actually within me that needs expression. I did not have the physical abuse you experienced by the psychological abuse was something that had to be let out. You must tell her story as you said. This is how great literary works come about. They are often personal stories or taken from personal experiences. Beyond your creative self you are having to address the painful aspects of the abuse. Once again I can see where this applies to your last dream where you are having to force yourself to write. Delete, no add to, what I said about my personal experiences and apply your own inability to write this stuff down because the pain involved. This fits much better and I can see where it is applicable. You do not want it to be about the abuse although it is. It is your way of expressing yourself and in terms of bliss that is what you desire most. Not only about the abuse but also the inner self that seeks expression through creativity and spirituality.

It is a process of healing. It takes time but more importantly it takes an understanding of what causes the void within. For so many years I never knew what it was until I started my own inward search. It is first and foremost psychological. Once I identified what it was that drove me to act the way I did in my early adulthood I was able to put it in its place and move on. I broke the cycle of a 'dead beat dad' by making sure my son never experienced that. But I lacked my own healing and that was not possible until I went inward psychologically and discovered it was my dad's fault I never received the love and acceptance we all require. It is imprinted on the psyche of all animals. It did not make me do it but its energies so strong it pushed me to be as I was. And because of my stunted childhood it was logical to take the easy path and use something addictive in its place. These are common patterns of behavior and common themes in our dreams.

From what I can see you have taken large steps in breaking your pattern. By continuing to express yourself through your book and other creative aspects you will soon resolve those remaining issues. I said confronting the abuser is the way to go and it is likely true. But circumstances only you can know about should be taken into account. It may be something that is totally necessary. I never confronted my dad so there are ways around it. I decided to ignore him. He died a few years ago and I did not attend his funeral or give second thought to it. But i still at times grieve for that little boy as you do for your little girl. It can still be powerful emotions but they are fleeting. Now I have other resources to support me. I've changed my mold of thinking and that is how you change. If what you are thinking is painful you need only change what you are thinking about. Easier said than done but essential if there is to be wholeness in life.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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Re: My 3 Selves

Jerry,
You are the first person to affirm that I must write this book and that my abuser must be made accountable. I don’t feel I want to confront him directly and in person, but in putting the book out there for people to read, people who both know me and also know him, I am confronting him, first in my psyche and secondly, in an indirect, but very public way.

All I can say for now is Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! for your continued help.

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Re: My 3 Selves

Raymonde,
Confronting in your book will be great therapy. I would never question your decision not to confront him directly. But i do have question. If you abused you could he have done it to others? Perhaps instead of confronting him it would be wise to let someone in authority to know he does have these tendencies. Give it some thought, talk to others close to the situation and see what they think.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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Re: My 3 Selves

Jerry,

I appreciate your concern as I have had over 50 years to think of exactly what you mention. I have spoken with my friends, who know the situation, but I have never come up with a definite answer as to whether it would serve any purpose in initiating a confrontation. What would be my motive? my intent?

This secret of mine has eaten away at me for decades. The courage to 'do something about it' has eluded me and kept me from living a full-on, normal life, and it still to a certain extent, haunts me.

In coming here to talk truthfully and openly about my dreams, which I have never done in my life, I am doing something about it in the only way that the frightened little girl in me knows how. By taking small steps, being open to what my dreams mean, being helped by you, and writing about it in my book.

That is all I can do for now.

This is stirring up some really disturbing stuff and all day I have kept busy trying not to think about it. But... I don't want to stop the seeking and the growing.

I have been asking Goddess for a breakthrough. Well, I got it!
Now, if only I can stick with it. :)

Hope your talk/presentation goes well!
Raymonde

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Re: My 3 Selves

Raymonde,
I appreciate your openness and willing to share. Healing is the primary goal in interpreting dreams and you know better than anyone letting it out is therapeutic. Continuing to observe and interpret your dreams can help to stay a steady course and let you know where you are in your journey. I had a recent experience that demonstrates the importance of interpreting our dreams throughout life. Here is that experience.

Since moving to Florida from Tennessee I have remembered more of my dreams without any great intent. I know the process in how to remember dreams but have not instituted any practice to do so. But I do I believe dreams take on a greater energy in those times when it is imperative to remember them. This dream is a great example of those energies. And as is all dreams it had to do with my journey and the emotional energies related to it and my life.

My most recent concern may seem insignificant on the surface but in reality it has to do with the reasons I moved. That reason is to live my life to its fullest and at the same time share what I have learned about dreams. When I first arrived my energies were strictly on the sharing, taking great pains to set up dream classes, and neglecting the other {my websites which we have discussed and being retired and not having to do anything I don't wish to do}. Then fate intervened {from an experience of an odd kind that came from out of the blue} and I realized I was again overloading myself and creating an imbalance. I had a dream My Dream: Cutting the Grass that confirmed the events and clarified what my original intent and desire was. The unusual aspect of remembering the dream 30 minutes after I had awoke and not immediately after waking said to me, "this is something the dream wants you to remember and interpret because it is important". Of course the dream fit with my life, recent events as well as deeper aspects, but the fact it come up as it did convinced me it did so because it was so important for me to interpret it. I was able to do so {although I magnified the interpretation after I looked at it several times over} without difficulty and understand the message of what I was doing in my waking life. I was overloading one important aspect while neglecting another {actually two others}. Because of the dream and the 'fateful' incident I have altered my course and will spend more time on my websites {where I can reach many more souls} as well spend more time 'being retired'. This event once again demonstrated for me the power and importance of our dreams.

I am interested about how your future dreams play out. Having undergone an important realization and being a person who understands the power of dreams, I see future dreams being even more helpful. It is wonderful to be able to work with someone who has the knowledge and experience with Jungian psyche, and willingness to share, because it makes it easier to learn from your dreams. I look forward to future dream posts.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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