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Kissing David and Leaving

Jerry,
I had another dream early this morning.

Kissing David and Leaving

I am in a long, large house and I am with David. We are kissing. I feel it’s strange kissing David, asking myself, why am I doing this? It feels ok, but not extraordinary. Not like we are lovers or anything like that. He likes it more than I do because now he wants us to lie down together on the couch and continue kissing. I let him start moving the furniture around in order to make this happen, but I’m neutral about this. There is a lot of furniture in this room!

I get distracted before he is finished and I wander off in the left direction, down a corridor. I meet other people there, it’s a new place for me to explore. There is a man like a merchant in one of the rooms, or it feels more like I am now in a strange street. But all the while I like the exploring bit. The merchant is busy, busy and talks fast and I’m wrapped in what he is saying. All this is new to me, but I am trying to keep up.

I come back into the living room and there is David, still asleep on the couch. I leave him there and walk away as the dream ends.

Background, Who is David?

David (not his real name) is a man whom I've known ever since 1990, when I started to heal from my abuse. At the same time this happened, I fell sick with Fibromyalgia, severe Chronic Fatigue, depression, and other debilitating allergies, etc. that prevented me from going back to work for years. Oddly enough (or is it?), David already had those disorders when I met him. We were close for a long time, and he encouraged me to write about my abuse as a method of healing, which I've done ever since. Let me also state that we were never lovers.

I know now that my disorder had two important aspects related to my psychological growth. Please note: this is me. If you who are reading this have the above disorders, do not assume that what I say is common for everyone and that my statements apply to you. Only you and your health care professional can diagnose and treat what you have. This is my experience and mine alone.

The two aspects of my disorders

1) This was a way for my unconscious to get my attention Big Time. I had been refusing to acknowledge that the abuse I had suffered was 'important' - I was minimizing my suffering and injury to the extent of denying the abuse itself had actually happened, or if it did, so what? The severe depression forced me to 'do something' about this untended psychic injury that I had suffered at the hands of my abuser as a little girl.

2) "Taking on" what David had, i.e., Chronic Fatigue, etc. I was projecting onto the illness my inability to care for myself, something I had learned (first from the abuse, and secondly from my childhood upbringing)

I eventually healed myself from all of the tangled, immune system disorders and from the depression, but only through undergoing intense self-examination, being rigorously honest with myself and working with my dreams. I also changed my diet and stopped eating processed foods in order to heal my bodymind. I went back to college (I couldn't work, but I could study) and got myself a diploma, and I started becoming responsible for myself.

What does "David in my dream" represent? Though I haven't had a "David" dream in a long time, I've learned that when David appears in one, it has to do with my old, dependent ways. In waking reality "David" is still at home, depending on his parents. That's what that part of me tells me, "I am your sick-dependent-on-others part."

Back To The Present

Recently, through various life circumstances, I am being challenged once again to grow, to face my past for one, and to think above and beyond my comfort zone. It's easy living by myself, alone, not responsible for anyone but me. I have my future all mapped out: work in the summer, spend winters in the country, until I retire. Which is not far away, really. A simple life. Do some gardening, writing, and continue studying dreams, etc. But now, this dream.

Last night before bed I asked myself: How do I want to respond to this challenge, and could my dreams please show me what to do? This was my Dream Incubation question.

So I think my dream showed me TWO CHOICES:

1) I could stay in my stagnant state, "asleep" as it were, as David is doing on the couch - a couch potato, right? Staying home and oblivious to real life.

or
2) I could leave the confines of my overcrowded 'house' (future plans and all), and extend myself further, go out there in the big beautiful world and meet others, even some "new parts of myself" (merchant in the street) that are outgoing and social.

I think that I am on my way to choosing "door # 2" - the outer challenges of life, society, and new things. But it's sure scary. That's why "kissing David" is not appealing (anymore) and that I leave him there, asleep on the couch as I casually walk away.

What are your thoughts on this?
Thank you for your immense help! It is very much appreciated.
Raymonde

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60, Atlantic Canada

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Kissing David and Leaving

Raymonde,
I can see where the dreams fits with your interpretation. Your explanation fits well with the dream. here is my take on the dream.

You are 'embrassing' {kissing} the position that David is in, not totally comfortable with it and asking yourself if you want to be in this position again. David would represent himself {in relationship to you} as well as your masculine self which, as you describe the situation, would be a less than desirable masculine. There were positive aspects to these experiences but not where you wanted or needed to be. It was something you excepted {not lovers}. There is the temptation of being influenced if not led by these masculine aspects.

You discover a direction within yourself {left is usually symbolic of spiritual/creative aspects or aspects that fulfill the soul. There is a renewal of the masculine. The merchant would be an inner and outer position {to and for you}. You are interested in these new possibilities but there are still things to be learned. You have declined to stay in the old masculine position.

Lying on the couch is an inferior position to be in. There are new possibilities to explore in your life and you are choosing to do so. This is a positive dream reflecting the positive attitude and direction you are taking. Not only in current waking life decisions related to new opportunities but also past experiences. You are moving forward.

I like that you pointed out how you overcame your problems with fibromyalgia. It demonstrates the mind body connection.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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Re: Kissing David and Leaving

Thank you for your help with this dream, Jerry. It does confirm my own interpretation. I feel my skill at deciphering dreams is getting better, and it's more than likely because of your help. I know it is.

In the past few years (being back in my not-too-optimum situation) I had stopped working on my dreams, for the simple reason that they were telling me things I didn't want to hear. I'm glad they persisted and brought me to the proverbial wall of the impasse where I found myself having to leave to save myself. Where I couldn't not listen to them anymore.

I think that when we don't work on our dreams regularly, we either stop remembering them or they become muddled to the point of our ignoring them altogether. Have you had this experience, or know of it, yourself?

One more comment on the above dream. As Jung says, the dream/unconscious is always one step ahead. Yesterday I received a phone call from work, saying that they want me to start again next week. So much for leisure days in the country! This "new" information fits in with the dream telling me I had other places to be, in streets (as in a city), instead of lounging around the house. I'm just amazed at the unconscious' succinct ways of relaying information. They may be 'symbolic' but once a person knows, such as you so cleverly do, the commonality of that symbolic language, then it's just a matter of putting the pieces of the dream puzzle together.

Thanks - once again!
Raymonde

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 60, Atlantic Canada

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

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