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An earlier lucid dream

Here's a dream I had a few months back. I only remember one part of it but eh. Basically I was fully lucid the entire duration of the dream. I was exploring the little town my subconscious had created. It was a pretty and quiet town, all oranges and reds because it was fall. At one point I visited an all boys school. I wanted to share my lucidity with them. I was talking with a group of guys, ten told them to watch me. I leapt from the third something floor where we were onto a widow ledge on the far side of the room. They all gasped and asked if I was crazy, told me to get down, that it was dangerous, whatever. I told them to calm down and keep watching. I opened the window, went into my beast form and leapt out. I landed on the ground outside perfectly ok. I turned to face them and wagged my tail, hopping about and trying to look playful (so I didn't scare them with my monster self). I knew that they could transform too if they wanted, could come and join me outside and then I could have companions in my lucidity for once. But they were too afraid. They wanted to come with me but were holding back for whatever reason. They told me they had to leave and go to class. When they were gone I felt alone and dissapointed.

I ran around a while in beast form, enjoying the speed and the landscape around me. Then I went human again as I came upon this large, beautiful oak tree. It was gorgeous shades of red and orange. I decided to practice manipulating the environment. I decided I would try to turn this tree into an ethereal looking blue/pink crystal tree, something breath taking. I commanded it to change, I pictured what I wanted it to look like in my mind, but nothing worked, it stayed the same. Instead of changing the tree I actually changed the seasons, or maybe I was just speeding up time. I watched as I made fall go by, the leaves falling from the tree until it was bare, then made it carry on through winter, snow falling. Then I stopped for fear of not waking up until a year later, since I was making time move so fast. Then a woman came up to me. It was my mom but in the dream she wasn't my mom she was just a neighbor of mine. Her husband had died recently and she was very sad and still in mourning. I felt bad for her so I told her I had tried to make the tree beautiful for her, but somehow just changed the seasons instead. To my surprise she hugged me crying, and thanked me and said it was perfect. I didn't really get why, maybe winter was her favorite season or something, but I was happy that she liked what I did. I think I woke up shortly after that. Yep.

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Re: An earlier lucid dream

Anna,
Even in your state of lucidity the dream is still addressing emotional issues. The desire for a stronger masculine {two big brothers}. There is a decline in your attitude {autumn} which precipitates this need/desire. The beast within you {your savage self} is one way how you demonstrate this masculine aspect. But there also seems to be a need to connect with other masculine aspects {you are afraid of scaring them off}. Could this involve relationships with guys? You feel you have to prove yourself, not only to others but also to yourself. You need acceptance {those aspects lacking in family experiences as well as with your peers}. But these qualities are lacking making you feel alone.

You are transforming yourself in and out of different modes. The inner self is beautiful and promising but you are lacking control in the older world. You want to take these inner desires {acceptance, tranquility, stability} and make them real but have been unable to do so. You feel time is leaving you behind, leaving you in a depressed position. You are looking beyond this time in your life hoping for better things in the near future {the 18 yo transition from dependency to in dependency}. Unconsciously there are fears for your future and how the past has influenced you {did I plant a seed?}. It is difficult to envision a better future because of the stress of the moment. You have learned to accept the position you are in. In the end there is still a positive attitude despite all the negatives in your life.

The lucidity seems to be less play and more revealing. This is good since it does not distract from the dream's message. And the end of the dream is positive. This would reflect your nature and personality. Able, at the moment, to accept your position in life and still optimistic for the future.
Question. What are your plans after getting out of school? Leaving home and going out on your own? This seems to be a theme within the dream.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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Re: An earlier lucid dream

Actually whenever I try to just "mess around" with my lucid abilities my subconscious gets mad at me. That sounds weird but y dream characters will become irritated with me, and if I try to ignore the storyline of my dream entirely sometimes literally everything will pause and my dream characters suddenly became way overpowered and fight me until I go along with the story again. So....yeah. Every once in a while I get a sort of open world dream like this one though where I'm free to explore and do what I want. Those are my favorites, because most of my dreams follow a more linear storyline.

My beast side is almost like an alternate persona of mine I developed from a very young age to combat my fear of monsters. Eventually she became a form I could take in my dreams in order to combat the creatures in my nightmares, which ordinarily I was helpless against. Being her made me feel strong and confident, invincible. An interesting little side note- I didn't add on the dragon aspect of that form. I just started out a werewolf then one dream where I was fighting an enormous monster, it flung me in the air and I grew these massive purple scaly wings and could fly. (That was my first flying dream) I could also breathe fire at that point too. I thought it was cool because it wasn't an addition I would have made, I just don't think I would have made myself part dragon to begin with, it just happened and my beast form has looked like that ever since, the wings and dragon abilities never went away. Even if I had wanted to give myself dragon wings, I would have made them light blue or white or silver. But nope my subconscious decide they were purple so eh.

Also I'm beginning to notice girls don't usually play a big part in my dreams.....I have had a lot of dreams where I am at all boys schools, like one I had a few weeks ago were I was a ghost and haunted one. Huh. I never really thought about that. Something I have noticed though is that many times in my dreams my gender will just change. It is almost never a big deal or important detail in the dream either, it will just be like I'm a guy for that dream and it's whatever. It's not like in real life I want to be a guy or anything, my gender just seems to be not as important when I'm dreaming so it changes. O.o weird.

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Re: An earlier lucid dream

Anna,
The fact your 'subconscious' gets mad at you when you play with lucid dreams may be an indicator that dreams are not to be played with. My contention is dreams perform a therapeutic service in they attempt to the inform the dreamer of out of balance emotional conflicts. The irritation would likely be toward yourself, not so much over the playing with your lucid dreams but other emotional issues. The fight are the inner conflicts. The dream wants you to recognize these conflicts so to help resolve them. But at the same time the dream is 'scolding' you for playing with your dreams. The dreams that you like and the unconscious finds favor with probably represent those idea situations in your life that fit with you are. The things you do in your playing may be those things you need to set goals toward. I suggest next time you have a 'world' dream you ask questions and determine why they are so pleasant.

Yes, your beast side is your negative personality. Your use this side of yourself as a defensive mechanism. The question is how does this 'beast' side of you play out in your waking life? Do you get angry or do something 'negative' when you know it is not the thing to do?

As for all the males in your dreams and a lack of females. That is showing a over active masculine self which would be normal for someone who has endured all the emotional issues in your constantly changing world {moving and starting over again}. You are required to be strong and enduring {masculine qualities}. You need to have these masculine qualities in your life.

Let me ask you a question that may go a long way in determining the inclusion of so many masculine images in your dream. Do you have a strong personality where you use masculine qualities more than normal? Do you have to take care of siblings and do other responsibilities that normally would not be what you would be required to do? Jung tells us our outer personality is opposite the inner. But the context in how that plays out would not actually mean the inclusion of so many males in your dreams suggests you are a tomboy and not feminine. It may just be you have an normal feminine personality but because of the circumstances you have to be strong and enduring. How would you define your personality? Do you have tomboy qualities, like doing boy things?

I must say you are a great 'case' to work with. We are discovering a lot about lucid dreams as well as other aspects of dreams that will be helpful for others {and myself in determining applications of these aspects and qualities}. I see a verification of my thoughts about lucid, the fact they can be used in a negative sense but can also be great tools in resolving emotional issues. Not many people recognize they are using lucid dreams the way you do. hopefully we can learn a lot about these aspects as well as resolve some of your inner conflicts.

Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You

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Re: An earlier lucid dream

I'm glad my dreams are useful to you :) Anyhow I was a huge tomboy as a kid. When I got older I grew out of it but I guess I'm still sort of a tomboy at heart. I can see how I would be neglecting the more feminine aspects of my personality. But I mean I wouldn't really define my personality as either more male or female, I'm just me, you know? I mean there's the side of me that likes videogames and wrestling with my brothers and stuff like that but also the side that squeals at cute animals and cute guys, you know? I'm pretty comfortable with both sides of myself and just think of me as myself as opposed to more masculine or feminine.

As for the beast side of me, I don't really think I get a chance to act out like her against my real life issues, though I wish I could. She just tackles everything head on, when she has an issue she doesn't put up with it she solves it. I guess I like being able to transform into her so much because in real life I just sort of feel helpless to my problems. I can't do anything. I can't fight the monsters, you know? If I brought out her in my real life things would probably get better for me, not worse. I don't really have an explosive anger or anything. As a kid I guess I did, when I got really mad I'd hit or pinch or whatever, but it wasn't like I got into fight or anything it would be more like I was cranky and my siblings were annoying me. But when I got to a certain age like 10 or something I made myself promise never to hit someone out of anger again, and I haven't broken that promise since, so eh. Other than that I really don't act out negatively in any way. I care about myself and even when I'm at my worst I refuse to hurt myself in any way, whether it's physical or doing something like drinking or drugs. I like to seek positive outlets for my emotions, and mainly write or listen to music or draw or whatever.

And I do look out for my siblings a lot- I'm chief babysitter haha.

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Re: An earlier lucid dream

Anna,
Thanks for sharing your story. It tells us a lot about you and your dreams. The tomboy attitude plus the early life responsibilities placed on you would fit with your dreams, and the reason there are so many males in your dream. There is a need for a strong masculine and in Jungian psyche what is lacking in the outer life would be counter in the inner life {in the unconscious and your dreams}.

The good news is there does seem a balance in the outer life. You are able to be that normal female and yet take charge when you are called upon to help take care of family {taking care of younger siblings}. I think it is pretty clear that the primary conflicts in your life are having to grow up so fast and take on so many responsibilities. That and the fact you seldom stay in one place long enough to feel settled. You do seem to have weathered the difficulties in early life very well and with your intelligent intellect you should do well in life. I suggest you continue to keep tabs on your dreams {if not a journal} since you do seem to have an ability to work with them. The lucid dreaming and how you manage those are impressive. It has surely been a lesson for those of us who want to learn all we can about dreams. Studies in lucid dreaming have come a long ways and the actual working with these types dreams as we have been doing is very educational. You would do well if should ever decide to make dream study a part of your life.


Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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